You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate  and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"  

"What? What's all around you?" the first player asks. 

Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.  

"They're all over me, they're all over me!"  

"What's all over you?"  

two scouts  

do this right after a skit  

scout 1 is making a hoing motion. 

scout 2 comes on and ask "what are you doing"  

1 answers "hoing", 2 "what are you hoing",  

1 "corn", 2 "where did you get it",  

Q: "What's the difference between a Scout and a guy who fixes telephone answering machines?"  

CAST: 2 scouts PROPS: none SETUP: none 

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH." 

2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?" 

1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb." 

2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then." 

Big Chief: Bring in 10 scalps, kill 5 buffalo bare handed and go into desert without water for a moon. Then I will pronounce you Big Brave. You understand?  

At camp this year the staff had a running joke with "Captain Obvious." Things like this.  

Boy, up front, can't get boots off. From a distance you hear CAAAAP TAAAAN OOOOB VIII OUUUS. The super hero wearing a cape, mask, and big "O" on his just runs up and says "You know Billy, It would be easier to take off your boots if you untied them".  

BOY: (Comes on stage carrying a wooden case)  

CUBMASTER: What are you doing now?  

BOY: I’m taking my case to court.  

SAME BOY: (Returns on stage later in the program. This time he’s carrying the case on top of his head.)  

CUBMASTER: What are you doing now?  

Two "cavemen" sitting facing each other cross-legged  

1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh" 1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh"  

1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh" 1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh Ugh"  

CAST: SPL & several boys  

PROPS: none  

SETUP: SPL matches the boys in, single file, with SPL leading them like a drill sergeant. The SPL tells them to stop and addresses them.  

SPL: "Halt. I have some good news and some bad news. 

The good news is that you get to change underwear."  

(The boys cheer and he cuts them off.)  

A group of scouts come out and stand in a line across the stage. One, the announcer, stands in front of them.  

Announcer: "This is a test."  

All: Hmmmmmmmmmmm. (Or Beeeeeeeeep)  

"They're all around me!"  

"What?"  

1st Scout: I went fishing last week.  

2nd Scout: What did you catch?  

1st Scout: Three bass and one smelt.  

A group of boys are discussing a football game.  

1st boy: I sure hope that the ________ wins.  

2nd boy: Well I'm sure that _________ will win.  

3rd boy: Why ______ will beat them 40 to nuthin'.  

4th boy: I can tell you the score of the game before it starts.  

The Others: Oh Yeah? You're not that smart.  

Fortune Teller: "That will be $20 for two questions."  

Client: "Isn't that a lot of money for two questions?"  

Akela: "Now, (Cubs name), you know you should always  do Good Turns."  

1st Cub: I tried, honest!  

Akela: OK  

Each Cub enters and says similar things to Akela  

Last Cub: (carrying a small frying pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good turn! (flips pancake over and catches itin pan). But you should see the mess in the kitchen! 

 Boy 1: Tonight we are going to be talking about ancient Greece. 

(Boy 2 walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.) 

Boy 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place. 

First Scout: I bet I can jump higher then a house.  

Second Scout: I bet you can't.  

 CAST: 2 (may use another for the police dispatcher to expand on the skit) PROPS: none SETUP: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps, 

Scout: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where?.... Uh..." (looking for a sign) 

"I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g..." (confused) 

Player walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag. Another player approaches and asks, "What are you doing?"  

A boy is sitting on the bake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign nearby. The game warden appears.  

Fisherman: Are you the game warden.  

Game warden: Yep!  

 Setting: In the computer lab at school. 

Student: Hey, teacher. My computer ain't working. It's broke! 

Teacher: No, no. My computer is broken. Her computer is broken. Your computer is broken. 

Think of a number. Double it, add 10 and divide by 2. 

Leader: I can make everyone in the audience into an old fashioned Indian.  

Audience: How?  

Scout: Runs up to the leader on stage, starts grabbing at his own clothes, as though he has bugs on him, and says, "They're on me, they're on me!"  

Leader: "What's on you."  

 The leader makes an elaborate announcement introducing a soloist, who is to sing a ballad entitled "The Lost Sheep." The singer takes his position, glances to the leader who nods his head as a signal to begin. The singer then gives a plaintive "Baa-aa-aa," bows and exits the stage. 

Owls? 

Cub comes on stage carrying a picture of an owl. He says, "Owl be seein' ya!" 

Quacking Up! 

 Propane Bottle and a bunch of Scouts. 

A silly fill-in for a number of dull moments. 

Cast: Announcer, Professor Glitzenshiner 

Announcer: Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Today I have the great honor of presenting to you Professor Gliztenshiner. Professor Gliztenshiner is a little known quack whose main field of expertise is geography. He attended Whatsamatta U. for his undergraduate degree in geographic localization; he went to Duck University for his Masters in human geography. He did his Doctorate at the Idiot Institute of Illinois on World geography, and is now on world tour addressing crowds large and small on Systems of Geography. Please, Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce Professor Gliztenshiner who will now give you his address. 

 Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC. 

Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.  

Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?  

Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.  

Cub 2: Are you a beaver?  

 CAST: 2 PROPS: glass SETUP: Scout runs through area several times holding a glass of water. Finally the leader has enough. 

Leader: "What ARE you doing?" 

Boy: "The school is on fire!" 

Leader: "How do you expect to put the fire out with a tiny glass of water?" 

Scout 1: "Did you hear how my mother strained herself."  

Scout 2: "No, how did she manage to do it?"  

 CAST: 1 PROPS: none SETUP: 2 scouts spot smoke signals in the distance. 

1st Scout: "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals" 

2nd Scout: "Oh yes Mike, what do they say?" 

1st boy: "I heard you had an accident on your hike today."  

2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."  

1st boy: "You don't call that an accident?"  

Radio Announcer: We interrupt this program for a spot announcement.  

Dog (offstage): Arf! Arf! Arf!  

 A five second gag to put into a loose moment. 

Cast: Campfire chief and a volunteer in the audience 

Scout 1:(running on stage) "They're after me!"  

Scout 2: "Who's after you."  

Scout: Walks on stage, looks around slowly and says, 

"Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly!! Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"  

BOY: (Comes on stage with a stick in his hand. He puts the point of the stick down on the floor, picks it up, puts it down in another place.)  

CUBMASTER: What are you doing?  

Mike: Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?  

The three boys are in a line facing the audience.  

Second Boy in Line: This story begins with "Once upon a time"  

First Boy: Hey, wait a minute, I'm the beginning.  

Middle Boy: I'm the middle.  

1st person: "Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?"  

1st Scout: Say wasn't there a rap at the door?  

2nd Scout: I didn't hear anything.  

1st Scout: Yes, I'm sure there was a rap at the door!  

2nd Scout: I'm sure I didn't hear anything.  

Two boys playing quick draw:  

1st boy: "My Scoutmaster (Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any man in the West."  

2nd boy: "Really?" What do they call your Scoutmaster."  

LEADER: Where does Tonto take his garbage?  

The first person calls from out of sight "Hey Fred, look! I'm in the top of a 100 foot tall tree."  

Scout 1: Whatcha doing ?  

Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.  

Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?  

Person on the phone, Friend Setting: Living Room  

Person: (Phone rings, picks it up.) Hello? Yes? You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say? ... You don't say! ... You don't say. Bye!  

Friend: Say, who was on the phone?