RUNONS

Alien

Alien comes in - traditional "take me to your leader" routine etc. When taken to leader the alien says, "Stop singing, Ging Gang Goolie -- it's our national anthem..."

All Around Me

You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate  and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"  

"What? What's all around you?" the first player asks. 

The other replies, "My belt, of course!"

All Over Me

Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.  

"They're all over me, they're all over me!"  

"What's all over you?"  

"My clothes!"

Bad Skit

two scouts  

do this right after a skit  

scout 1 is making a hoing motion. 

scout 2 comes on and ask "what are you doing"  

1 answers "hoing", 2 "what are you hoing",  

1 "corn", 2 "where did you get it",  

1 "from the last joke"

Be Prepared

Q: "What's the difference between a Scout and a guy who fixes telephone answering machines?"  

A: "The Scout's motto is "Be Prepared" and the other guy's motto is "Beep Repaired!"

Bee Sting

CAST: 2 scouts PROPS: none SETUP: none 

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH." 

2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?" 

1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb." 

2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then." 

1st scout: "But that bee will be miles away by this time."

Big Brave

Big Chief: Bring in 10 scalps, kill 5 buffalo bare handed and go into desert without water for a moon. Then I will pronounce you Big Brave. You understand?  

Indian Brave: Yes. What do I do to get pronounced Little Brave. 

Captain Obvious

At camp this year the staff had a running joke with "Captain Obvious." Things like this.  

Boy, up front, can't get boots off. From a distance you hear CAAAAP TAAAAN OOOOB VIII OUUUS. The super hero wearing a cape, mask, and big "O" on his just runs up and says "You know Billy, It would be easier to take off your boots if you untied them".  

Great gag easy to come up with others.

Car Door

A boy walks across stage carrying a car door. He is asked why he is carrying the car door. The boy answers so that he can roll down the window when it gets hot. 

Case to Court

BOY: (Comes on stage carrying a wooden case)  

CUBMASTER: What are you doing now?  

BOY: Iím taking my case to court.  

SAME BOY: (Returns on stage later in the program. This time heís carrying the case on top of his head.)  

CUBMASTER: What are you doing now?  

BOY: Iím taking my case to a higher court. 

Cavemen

Two "cavemen" sitting facing each other cross-legged  

1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh" 1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh"  

1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh" 1: "Ugh" 2: "Ugh Ugh"  

1: (Stands up and shouts) "Why you change subject?!"

Change of Underwear

CAST: SPL & several boys  

PROPS: none  

SETUP: SPL matches the boys in, single file, with SPL leading them like a drill sergeant. The SPL tells them to stop and addresses them.  

SPL: "Halt. I have some good news and some bad news. 

The good news is that you get to change underwear."  

(The boys cheer and he cuts them off.)  

"The bad news is that they have to change with each another. You change with him, you change with him..."

Emergency Test

A group of scouts come out and stand in a line across the stage. One, the announcer, stands in front of them.  

Announcer: "This is a test."  

All: Hmmmmmmmmmmm. (Or Beeeeeeeeep)  

Announcer: This has been a test of the emergency warning system. This was only a test. If there had been a real emergency, we would have said... (Scouts throw hands over heads, yell "Ahhhhhh", and run helter-skelter off stage.)

FINALE

"They're all around me!"  

"What?"  

"Cheesy run-ons!

Fishing

1st Scout: I went fishing last week.  

2nd Scout: What did you catch?  

1st Scout: Three bass and one smelt.  

2nd Scout: It did? Which one?

Football

A group of boys are discussing a football game.  

1st boy: I sure hope that the ________ wins.  

2nd boy: Well I'm sure that _________ will win.  

3rd boy: Why ______ will beat them 40 to nuthin'.  

4th boy: I can tell you the score of the game before it starts.  

The Others: Oh Yeah? You're not that smart.  

4th boy: Nuttin' to Nuttin' of course (The others chase him off.)

Fortune Teller

Fortune Teller: "That will be $20 for two questions."  

Client: "Isn't that a lot of money for two questions?"  

Fortune Teller: "Yes, it is. Now what is your second question?" 

Good Turns

Akela: "Now, (Cubs name), you know you should always  do Good Turns."  

1st Cub: I tried, honest!  

Akela: OK  

Each Cub enters and says similar things to Akela  

Last Cub: (carrying a small frying pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good turn! (flips pancake over and catches itin pan). But you should see the mess in the kitchen! 

(other Cubs look ashamed)

Greece

 Boy 1: Tonight we are going to be talking about ancient Greece. 

(Boy 2 walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.) 

Boy 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place. 

Boy 2: Oh yeah, that's in back of the cafeteria.

House Jump

First Scout: I bet I can jump higher then a house.  

Second Scout: I bet you can't.  

First Scout: Yes I can. Did you ever see a house jump.

King and Elm

 CAST: 2 (may use another for the police dispatcher to expand on the skit) PROPS: none SETUP: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps, 

Scout: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where?.... Uh..." (looking for a sign) 

"I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g..." (confused) 

"Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm!"

Leaving

Player walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag. Another player approaches and asks, "What are you doing?"  

1st Player: I'm leaving!

No Fishing

A boy is sitting on the bake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign nearby. The game warden appears.  

Fisherman: Are you the game warden.  

Game warden: Yep!  

Fisherman: Just teaching him how to swim (pointing to the worm on the pole)

Nothing Working

 Setting: In the computer lab at school. 

Student: Hey, teacher. My computer ain't working. It's broke! 

Teacher: No, no. My computer is broken. Her computer is broken. Your computer is broken. 

Student: Boy, ain't nothing working right around this place!

Number 5

Think of a number. Double it, add 10 and divide by 2. 

Then subtract the first number. The answer will always be 5.

Odor in theCourt

The scene is a courtroom scene with one person as the judge. A person walks through the court carrying a sign or a skunk stuffed animal. The judge watching says: "Odor in the court! Odor in the court!"

Old Fashion Indian

Leader: I can make everyone in the audience into an old fashioned Indian.  

Audience: How?  

Leader: (Leader raises right hand and then says, "How!")

On Me

Scout: Runs up to the leader on stage, starts grabbing at his own clothes, as though he has bugs on him, and says, "They're on me, they're on me!"  

Leader: "What's on you."  

Scout: "My Clothes!" and walks off stage. 

 Owls

 The leader makes an elaborate announcement introducing a soloist, who is to sing a ballad entitled "The Lost Sheep." The singer takes his position, glances to the leader who nods his head as a signal to begin. The singer then gives a plaintive "Baa-aa-aa," bows and exits the stage. 

Owls? 

Cub comes on stage carrying a picture of an owl. He says, "Owl be seein' ya!" 

Quacking Up! 

Have several scouts walk across the stage staring at the ceiling and saying "Quack, quack." Leader then asks what they are doing and they reply, "Quacking Up!"

Passing Gas

 Propane Bottle and a bunch of Scouts. 

Scouts sit in a circle, passing the propane bottle back and forth. The leader or another Scout asks, "Hey, what are you guys doing?" The Scouts respond "Passing Gas!"

Professors Address

A silly fill-in for a number of dull moments. 

Cast: Announcer, Professor Glitzenshiner 

Announcer: Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Today I have the great honor of presenting to you Professor Gliztenshiner. Professor Gliztenshiner is a little known quack whose main field of expertise is geography. He attended Whatsamatta U. for his undergraduate degree in geographic localization; he went to Duck University for his Masters in human geography. He did his Doctorate at the Idiot Institute of Illinois on World geography, and is now on world tour addressing crowds large and small on Systems of Geography. Please, Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce Professor Gliztenshiner who will now give you his address. 

Professor Glitzenshiner: My address is 1234 Pine Street. Thank you. bows)

Pulling a Rope

 Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC. 

One: (walks onto stage area pulling a string or a rope big enough to see) Two:(asks) What are you doing One: I'm pulling a string Two: what are you doing that for? One: Well, have you ever tried to push one?!

Rabbit

Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.  

Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?  

Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.  

Cub 2: Are you a beaver?  

Cub 1: No, stupid. I already told you I was a rabbit! 

Schools on Fire

 CAST: 2 PROPS: glass SETUP: Scout runs through area several times holding a glass of water. Finally the leader has enough. 

Leader: "What ARE you doing?" 

Boy: "The school is on fire!" 

Leader: "How do you expect to put the fire out with a tiny glass of water?" 

Boy: "This ain't water, it's gas.

Screen Door

Scout 1: "Did you hear how my mother strained herself."  

Scout 2: "No, how did she manage to do it?"  

Scout 3: "She ran through a screen door." 

Smoke Signals

 CAST: 1 PROPS: none SETUP: 2 scouts spot smoke signals in the distance. 

1st Scout: "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals" 

2nd Scout: "Oh yes Mike, what do they say?" 

1st Scout: "Help..........My..........Blanket's..........On.........Fire."

Snake Bite

1st boy: "I heard you had an accident on your hike today."  

2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."  

1st boy: "You don't call that an accident?"  

2nd boy: "Heck no, he did that on purpose."

Spot

Radio Announcer: We interrupt this program for a spot announcement.  

Dog (offstage): Arf! Arf! Arf!  

Announcer: Thank you, Spot.

Spot

 A five second gag to put into a loose moment. 

Cast: Campfire chief and a volunteer in the audience 

Campfire Chief: And now it's time to make a spot announcement. (Dog barks from the audience.) Thank you Spot.

Squirrels

Scout 1:(running on stage) "They're after me!"  

Scout 2: "Who's after you."  

Scout 3: "The squirrels! They think I'm nuts!" 

Star Trek

Scout: Walks on stage, looks around slowly and says, 

"Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly!! Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"  

Another scout in the audience: THUNK (the sound of a 2x4 landing on stage)

Sticking Around

BOY: (Comes on stage with a stick in his hand. He puts the point of the stick down on the floor, picks it up, puts it down in another place.)  

CUBMASTER: What are you doing?  

BOY: Oh, Iím just stickiní around. 

Story Straight

Mike: Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?  

Spike: I want to get the story straight!

Story Time

The three boys are in a line facing the audience.  

Second Boy in Line: This story begins with "Once upon a time"  

First Boy: Hey, wait a minute, I'm the beginning.  

Middle Boy: I'm the middle.  

Last Boy: That's nothing I'm the end.

Sun and Moon

1st person: "Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?"  

2nd person: "I don't know. I'm new to these parts too." 

The Gun Family

Several people walk on in a line and announce "We're the Gun family. Watch us go off!" Then they walk off again.

The Rap

1st Scout: Say wasn't there a rap at the door?  

2nd Scout: I didn't hear anything.  

1st Scout: Yes, I'm sure there was a rap at the door!  

2nd Scout: I'm sure I didn't hear anything.  

The first scout then goes to the door and brings in a coat and tells the audience as he holds it up for them to see. "I knew there was a wrap at the door." 

Throwing Up

Walk across the front of the room tossing a ball several inches to a foot up in the air. Set up a plant in the audience or Cubmaster asks "What are you doing?" Replies, " I'm throwing up!" 

Toeless Joe

Two boys playing quick draw:  

1st boy: "My Scoutmaster (Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any man in the West."  

2nd boy: "Really?" What do they call your Scoutmaster."  

1st boy: "Toeless Joe." 

Tonto

LEADER: Where does Tonto take his garbage?  

BOYS: (in rhythm with the Lone Ranger tune while slapping thighs). To de-dump, to de-dump, to de-dump dump dump 

Tree Climber

The first person calls from out of sight "Hey Fred, look! I'm in the top of a 100 foot tall tree."  

The second person: "But Joe, we don't have any 100 foot tall trees in camp. First person: "Oh noooo....", screams as he is falling. 

What a Drag

Have two boys drag a third boy across the stage. The third boy says: "What a drag!"

Wire for Mr Jones

Wire for Mr. Jones. I'm Mr. Jones. The clerk hands him a piece of wire. 

Worms Worm

Two guys talking, first asks the second where he is going; second says fishing. First asks second what he has in his mouth and the second says worms - he keeps them warm that way. The first guy says good luck and slaps second guy on the back. 

Writing Slowly

Scout 1: Whatcha doing ?  

Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.  

Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?  

Scout 1: Because my little brother can't read very fast!

You don't Say

Person on the phone, Friend Setting: Living Room  

Person: (Phone rings, picks it up.) Hello? Yes? You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say? ... You don't say! ... You don't say. Bye!  

Friend: Say, who was on the phone?  

Person: He didn't say!