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3 Guys in Crowded Heaven 49...49...49 7 Jerks on the Line Aaargh!!!
Above the Waterfall Airplane Short Runway Alexander's Rag Time Band All Face:
American Folk Tale Skit The Ants Artistic Genius A Compass Lesson
A DRIVER'S DILEMMA A Hot Meal! A Quiet Day: A Talking Martian!
The Babies & Dads Backpacking Bad Breath Balloon Orchestra:
Bandana Skit Bear Hunt Bee Sting The Bell Ringer
Bell Ringer (the hunchback) Bell Ringer (the minister) Bell Ringer (overkill) The Best Spitter In The World
The Better Thief Be Prepared The Bicycle Shop The Biggest Turkey
Big Game Hunting: Big Itch Black Bart The Blanket Tossing Team
BOB CAT'S BIG CATCH Bonfire Border Crossing BOSS, THE TRAIN!
Brain Shop Brain Transplant Bucket Head! BUC TUOCS
THE BURNING SCHOOLHOUSE Bus Bus Driver Camel Patrol
Campers and Bears Campfire Conference Camp Coffee Sketch Candy Store
Candy Store variation Can You Do This? Captain Obvious CASTOR OIL
Champion Spitter Change Underwear Chewing Gum Chief Shortcake
Chin Faces CITY SLICKERS CLARENCE SLEPT HERE Climb That
Clyde Klutzo conservation Contagious Disease Ward COTTON
Court Case Court Scene CPR RESCUERS Crazy Charlie
CRAZY COLLECTING Crazy News Flashes CUBNAC Cub Cookout
Cub Olympics Cub Scout Socks Cub Shop C.P.R.
Dad's Tools Damn! (or should I say Darn?) Dancing Knee Dolls DARING SAILORMEN
DAVY CROCKETT SKIT Did You Have V-8? Did You See That? Dinner Special
Dirty Socks Disappearing Pop DISCOVER AMERICA Doctor's Office:
Doggie Doctor Doggie Doo Donkey Earwash
Easter Bunny: Eat That Food Echo (Baloney 1) Echo (Baloney 2)
Echo (Baloney 3) Echo (It's about time) Elevated Gum Emergency Room Doctor
ENLARGING MACHINE ERIC THE GREEN Eskimo Pie The Failed Reporter
Father Ted on Camp Firebuilding Fire Drill Fish
Fishing Fishing for Suckers Fishing on a Park Bench Fishing Success
Fish Market FISH SKIT Flasher Flea
Flora the Flea Flying High: Fly in the Soup Food, Water and Mirror on the Sahara
Foreign Exchange Student Four Leaf Clover Fred the Trained Flea Friends of Yours
Gallagher Game Show game warden Gathering of Nuts
The Gathering of Nuts Gathering of the Nuts: Ghostcatchers Ghost of the Bloody Fingers
Ghost With One Black Eye Giant Worm Ging gang gooly Glass of Water
Going to Court Gone Fishing GONE FISHING Good Granny
Good Soup Go Cart Granny's Candy Store Granny! Wake Up!
Grecian Fountains Greek Theater Green Side Up! Green Side Up! Guinness Spitter
Hairy Hamburger Halloween Candy Hamming It Up HANS AND FRANZ
HAPPINESS IS - MISERY IS Harlem Globetrotters Hat Skit Have You Seen my Belly Button?
Heaven's Gate Herman The German Herman, The Trained Flea HE DEN _______ TITLE HOLDERS
Hiccups Hiccup for Me How do I do That? How Indians Tell Time at Night
How Much? How to Wash An Elephant Ice Cream Ice Fishing
IF I WERE SANTA Igor Indian Skit Infant Tree
In the Furniture Store Is Anyone Brave Enough To Look at this Monster? Is a Train Comin' Today? Is Captain Kidd Afraid of Himself?
Is It Time Yet? Is There Life on Other Planets Its All Around Me! I Gotta Go Weee!
I'm Gonna Get You! I'm Russian! I Saw a Bear 'I Would Rather Be' Song
Jailhouse Skit JC Penney JEB AND EBB Join the Army!
Joke Teller Jumbo Burgers Jungle Interview Karate Orientale
Keep Canada Beautiful Contest Knot Demonstration Lawnmower LAWNMOWER SALESMAN
Leaders at Camp Learning English Learning the Alphabet Letters from Home
Let Me Have It! LEWIS AND CLARK GET LOST Lie Detector: Lightening Strike
Lights, Camera, Action Light's Better Listen! Litter Hurts
LITTLE BUNNY FRU-FRU Little Green Ball Little Wolf and Crazy Bear Living Xylophon
Lobster Tail Looking For skits LOST DOG Lost Gum
Lost Item around Campfire: LOST MONEY Lunch Break Mad Reporter:
Martian Mamma: Measurement Problem Medical Genius: Mike the Midget
MILESTONES IN THINGS THAT GO. Military Genius: Mind Reading Missed
MISTER BONES Mixed Body Acting Mixed Up Magic Mr Potato Head
MUSCLE BUILDING CHAMPS Musical Genius: Musical Toilet Seat Salesman My Baby Elephant
My Belt Nanook Napoleon`s Last Farewell Nature Girl
News Flash! New Blue Cheer New Saw Nosebleed
No Rocket Scientist NO SKIT Nutty Fisherman Offensive Bus Passenger
Oh-Wa-Ta-Goo-Siam Oh I Have Some Rotten Eggs Old Movie Scene Old Socks
Olympic Drama OOOOOO A Bug! Operation Over the Cliff
Painting the Walls PAIN IS WHERE YOU FIND IT Panther Tracks Park Bench (Fishing)
Park Bench Pass the Pepper Paul Smith Peanuts
Peanuts in the Lake Pencils Pencil Salesman Pet Shop
Pickin' Cotton Pickpocket Pie in the Face Plane Landing
Play Ball: PLC Meeting Poison Spring Pop Commercial
Post Office / King's Royal Paper Potted Plant Prayer to the Gods Presents for the Teacher
Prisoner Puppy in the Box PUSH-BUTTON RADIO Push a rope
Quazimoto II Quazimoto, the Hunchback of Notre Dame Quiet Please Radio Skit
Raisin Skit Reggie and the Colonel Reporter Looking For A Story Reporter (Hot News)
Reporter (Scoop) Restaurant Minutes Retired Scoutmaster Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor
River Run Rocket Genius ROLLICKING ROBOTS Rowing
Rubbish Russian Pianist Salesman Saloon
SANTA KNOWS ABOUT RUDOLPH'S NOSE SANTA'S HELP-IN Sap Running Through theTrees Sarge And The Private
SAVED BY THE DINNER BELL School's on Fire Scientific Genius Scoutmaster's Brains
Scoutmaster's Gift Scoutmaster's Saw Shape Up! Shut Up!
Shut Up and Her Dog Trouble Sidewalk Climbing Six A Side Six Wise Travelers
SKY DIVING Slug Trainers SMART DOG SMOKEY'S DEPUTIES
Soldier In the Battlefield Someone Chanted Evening Sounds of the Lost Scoutmaster Sour Notes
Space Derby Skit. Spelling Contest SPL's Too Tough To Be Tasty SPOOKS FROM FIRE ISLAND
SPRING Spring is Sprung! St. Peter Star Gazing
Statues in the Park STIFF NECK Storm at Sea Submarine Patrol
Submarine Training Submarine (Version 1): Submarine (Version 2) Successful Fisherman
Suckers Suicide Superhero Hall of Fame Super Clutz
Tag, You're It Taking the Penguins for a Ride Tankety Tank Telephone Answering
Telling Time Tenting Thar's a Bear The 5th Floor
The Airplane The Bad Turn The Banana-Bandana Sketch The Baseball Game
The Beer Commercial The Bigger Jerk The Blue and Gold Banquet The Briefcase
The Bubble Gum in the Studios The Bubble Gum on the Street The Cancer Sketch The Candy Shop
The Candy Shop The Candy Store The Candy Store Another Version The Car
The Chase The Coffee Table The Compass The Complaining Monk
The Council Fire The Dangerous Tent The Dead Body The Dead Fly
THE DEN MOTHER'S BOUQUET The Dudley Doright Skit The Dumb Actors The Elevator
The Enlarging Machine The Fire The Firing Squad The Fisherman
The Fishing Trip The Flea Circus The Fly The Fortune Teller
The Four Seasons The Frightened Hunter The Frogs Go Whee! The General Store
The German POW Camp The Ghost of Midnight The Good Samaritan The Greatest Spitter in the World
The Great Aug THE GREAT SEAL The Greyhound Bus The Growing Machine:
The Hair Cut Machine: The Heart Attack The Highest Tree climber in the World The Important Meeting
The Important Papers The Infantry The Injury The Inspection
The Invisible Bench The Jump The King's Message The King's Raisins
The King's Royal Papers The Land Shark THE LATE NEWS The Lawnmower
The LawnMower Sale The Lighthouse The Lighthouse Sketch The Lighthouse Story
The Little Green Ball The Loon Hunt The Lost Lollipop The Lost Quarter
The Magic Bandana: The Magic Blanket The Medicrin THE MONGOOS
THE MOTORCYCLE DRIVER The Motorcycle Gang The Motorcycle Shop The New Badge
The New Bike The New Car The Nurses The Nutty Fisherman
The Olde Lighthouse The Operation The Outhouse in the Yangtze River The Outing
The Outlaw The Page (The Skit) The Parachute The Party Warehouse
The Patrol Leader and the Tenderfoot The Picnic The Pilfered Warehouse The Pirate Family
The Poor Excuses The Radio Skit THE RAILROAD CROSSING The Raisin
THE RELUCTANT KNIGHT AND THE MAGIC HERB The Restaurant The Samaritan The Samurai Watermelon Cutter
The Scout Uniform The Short Runway The Shrimpy Boxer The Siberian Chickenfarmer
The Sleep Walker The Smart Scout The Sneeze The Sounds of the Wilderness
The Sound Sleeper The Special Papers The Split Ball The Statue Warehouse
The Story The Story of a Pack -- Like Ours The Story of Running Deer The Strange Trees
The Submarine The Submarine Captain The Successful Fisherman The Thinker
The Thirsty Fisherman The Three Scouts The Tonight Show The Trained Caterpillar
The Trained Elephant The Train Skit The Trees The Twelve Days of Christmas
The Ugliest Man in the World The Vending Machine The Viper is Coming The Waiter
The Waiting Room The Wall The Water Table The Weather Man
The Well Trained Elephant The Wide-Mouthed Frog The Wise Indian The World's Greatest Pitcher
The World's Greatest Spitter The World's Ugliest Man The Would-be Den Leader The Wrong Skit
THE YELLOW, CADILLAC Those Wonderful Machines Three Against 1000 THREE RIVERS
Three Rivers II Three Scoops Three Scout Leaders Ticket Line
Time on the Park Bench Timothy Eaton or JC Penny Toothache Toothpaste Skit
Tracks TRAVEL HORIZONS TREASURES BENEATH THE SEA Treating the Ache
tree climber skit Trick or Treat: Trimming the Christmas Tree TRIP TO THE MOON
Two Cannibals TWO STORY FIRE Ugliest Man in the World Ugly Baby
Upside Down Singers Up Harold Vampire Snack Waiter!
Wait! Wait! Wal and Ches -The Nutt Bros. Washington's Farewell WATCH OUT FOR CRITTERS
Water, Water! We Ain't Got the Money for the Mortgage on the Farm We Hit! We're Going On Safari
What a Day WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS? What's 2+2? What's Up?
What the Heck Was That? What Time is it? WHAT'S MY HOBBY? WHEN KNIGHTHOOD WAS IN FLOWER
Whistler Precision Drill Team Who Sneezed Why Are You Late? Will you hold this box.
Worlds Greatest Pitcher Yapoocha You Don't Say! You Need a Tie, Sir
You've Broken the Rules! Yukon Winter


Name 3 Guys in Crowded Heaven
Action Cast: St. Peter, 3 People

Setting: Pearly Gates of Heaven

One of those skits that needs reworking, and even after that might still be inappropriate for younger audiences, and presumably less understood the younger they get. Best way to rework it is to use the Sinking of the Titanic -- "When did the Titanic sink?" "In 1912." "How many people died?" "5,012" "Name them." "Uhhh ..." Or perhaps "How have you suffered?" "I got badly burned saving someone else." "Sorry!" "I worked day and night for low pay all my life without holiday." "Sorry!" "I was a Scouter Master of Troop #." "Well come on right in!"

Name 49...49...49
Action Version 1
This skit was performed at S-F Scout Ranch at the Famous Eagle Camp during the summer of 1994.

1st boy walks in and draws an imaginary circle on the ground and start to jump up and down on the circle yelling "49...49...49...49"

2nd boy walks in looking puzzled. He comes up to the 1st boy and says "What are you doing??"

1st boy avoids talking to the 2nd boy a couple of times then he stops and tells the other boy he is jumping up and down and yelling 49...49...

2nd boy asks if he can do it.

1st boy say "Sure."

2nd Boy jumps up and down a couple of times while yelling "49...49..." until the 1st boy pulls the imaginary circle out from underneath the 2nd boy. He then places the imaginary circle to the side a bit and starts jumping up and down yelling "50...50...50..."

Version 2:

Cast: Yeller, bystander

Setting: At the edge of a clif;

A person is standing at the edge of a cliff, yelling 49! 49! 49! The second person comes by and notices this; he asks what he's doing.

Victim: What are you doing?

Jumper: I'm listing to my echo by yelling 49! 49! 49! It's really fun! Wanna try?

Victim: Sure! (He takes the yeller's place and yells 49! 49! 49! All of a sudden, the yeller pushes the victim over the edge.)

Yeller: 50! 50! 50!

Version 3

Cast: Jumper, bystander

Setting: City Street

A person is jumping on up and down, yelling 49! 49! 49! The second person comes by and notices this; he asks what he's doing.

Victim: What are you doing?

Jumper: I'm jumping up and down on this manhole yelling 49! 49! 49! It's really fun! Wanna try?

Victim: Sure! (He takes the jumper's place and yells 49! 49! 49! All of a sudden, the jumper pulls the manhole cover out from under the victim, who falls into the sewer.)

Jumper: 50! 50! 50!

Name 7 Jerks on the Line
Action A 2-person skit that only requires a length of rope.

Cast: 2 People on the phone, up to seven Victims, rope

Each person is holding the rope at either end, and talking on the telephone

Person 1: I went fishing the other day!

2: Can't hear you!

1: Said I went fishing the other day!

2: Can't hear you! Maybe the phone company needs more telephone poles!

Get a couple of victims to hold the rope up in the middle.

1: That better?

2: A little! Try again.

1: Went fishing the other day!

2: Really? Is it a good sushi bar?

1: No! I went fishing! Maybe they need more poles!

Get a couple more victims to help hold the rope up.

1: As I was saying, the spot I was at wasn't great!

2: No, still can't hear you. Did you say you got grapes?

1: Hold on a minute.

Get another couple of poles.

1: I said that I went fishing and my luck wasn't too good!

2: That's better! Still a little interference, but you say you hit a puck? I think one more pole will help greatly.

Get one more pole.

2: Perfect!

1: Gee! The phones today. Anyway, I went fishing the other day.

2: Oh? And how did you do? Any bites?

1: Not good. But today, I did get 7 jerks on the line!

Name Aaargh!!!
Action I saw this skit when I was an Indian Guide. It involves a narrator, a campfire with everyone facing one way, and someone with a large club.

Narrator: I'm going to tell you a scary story. There was a woman, working alone at a company late at night, listening news on the radio. The radio mentioned car accidents, baseball scores, and trouble in congress. She packed her bags to go home, and as she was turning off the radio, they mentioned an escaped convict.

Radio: The man is a deranged killer. He walks with a limp, dragging one foot, and he carries an bloody axe. He escaped by hacking three prison guards to death. He is armed and dangerous!

Narrator: She turned off the radio, turned off the lights, and walked towards her car through the empty building. But as she walked, she heard footsteps in the distance behind her .. step scrape, step scrape, step scrape. She walked faster. The footsteps came closer, step Scrape, step Scrape, step Scrape. They came closer, closer. Finally she reached the the front door, turned the knob. Locked! She was trapped! Turning around ...

The guy with the club (you need a running start for this) yells "Aaarghhhh!!!" and leaps over the audience (or through a walkway if possible), waving the club and making as much noise as possible.

Name Above the Waterfall
Action Outdoor version. Spray gargled water onto the ground in front of audience. Indoor version. Have a bucket or pail to catch water coming out of the "Babbling Brook's" mouth.

The Story:

Long ago, there was a small Indian (Native American) village. In this village lived an Old Chief with his two sons, Running Deer and Falling Rock. This village was situated deep in the Wilderness, next to a Babbling Brook [pause], Above a Waterfall.

The Old Chief, knowing he would not live forever, decided it was time to choose one of his sons to take his place when the time came to pass on. "But, which one?" pondered the Old Chief. And he devised a plan: Running Deer and Falling Rock were sent off into the Wilderness, far from the village-next to the Babbling Brook [pause], Above the Waterfall. The Old Chief had told the lads, "The one of you who is able to live out longest in the Wilderness will take my place as Chief."

Much time passed. The Old Chief feared the worst, and began to worry. "How long will it be before the return of Running Deer and Falling Rock?" thought the Old Chief. Soon after, a member of the tribe announced the approach of the beloved son, Running Deer. The Old Chief was very happy, and threw a grand celebration. For his first son, Running Deer had returned to the village - next to the Babbling Brook [pause], Above the Waterfall. The ordeal was over, and scouts were sent out into the Wilderness to find and return Falling Rock to his village, where he would become Chief someday.

Many moons went by (as happens in Native American stories). The Old Chief, now passed on (sorry), never saw the return of his younger son, Falling Rock. Falling Rock has never returned from the Wilderness to his village-next to the Babbling Brook [pause], Above the Waterfall. His brother, Running Deer, still looks for him.

We know this because, all along the highways and byways of New Hampshire and Vermont, we still see the signs [show sign if you made one]:

WATCH_FOR_FALLING_ROCK

This is how the story ended until, in 1990, a small child sit- ting in the front row at a campfire (just like this one) raised a hand, and with a serious look said in a voice that was loud and clear, "I know where he lives!"

So the narrator of the story asked, "Where?"

The answer came back, "He's in Pennsylvania!"

The child had been touring with family and had seen this sign [show sign if you made one]:

FALLING_ROCK_AHEAD

Name Airplane Short Runway
Action Cast: 2 scouts (If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions. Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if required and a compass.

Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.

Pilot: Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ?

Co-Pilot: (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look.

Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments.

Co-Pilot: (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to be on course. (Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it.

Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)

Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle !

Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)

Pilot: QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES ! Both: (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it!

Pilot: Boy that was a short runway !

Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !

Name Alexander's Rag Time Band
Action Equipment Coloured strips of cloth for each participant, spears and shields if desired. Preparation Action ANNO: In this skit, ALEXANDER THE GREAT has called all his officers together to plan the next days battle when they will make the big attack on Russia.

ALEX: Now men, the key to tomorrow's attack will be coordination. Each of you Generals will need to have your men begin the attack at the same moment.

GENERAL #1: How can we do that great leader? We will be so far apart we can't see each other and clocks haven't been invented yet?

ALEX: [very wisely] I've commanded my chief scientist to solve the problem. It was either do it or loose his head. Mortimer, get in here, now!

MORTIMER: [bumbling in] I'm here master! I've done it, I've done it! I've invented TIME! Here, everybody [passes out cloths] tie this red rag around your wrist. I've dipped it in a new miracle chemical I invented in my tent. When it's time to start the battle they will all turn blue. Alexander and Generals tie band on wrist]

ALEX: That's wonderful Mortimer. What do you call your new invention?

MORTIMER: Oh, ALEXANDER'S RAG TIME BAND!

Name All Face:
Action An Indian and a white man are traveling together. It's cold and the white man is shivering. The white man is all bundled up and the Indian has very little on (i.e. pants, no shirt) and his blanket. The white man complains about the cold and doesn't understand why the Indian isn't. The white man asks the Indian how he stays so warm. The Indian asks if his face is cold. The white man says no it isn't. The Indian replies, "Me all face."
Name American Folk Tale Skit
Action Narrator: America's history is full of colorful characters. I'm sure you've heard of many that you couldn't even begin to count them. But we also know that much of our country's history wasn't written down until many years had passed. Memories fade as time goes by. Now...we're not calling our historians liars...but...things were not always the way they told us. Take, for instance, the burro express rider.

Rider: (enters pulling the burro) "Come on Speedy, those Cub Scouts at Southside are waiting for their Mail.

Narrator: "Excuse me sir? Why do you call your burro Speedy?

Rider: Why, this here is the fastest burro in the west.

Narrator: "How fast is he?"

Rider: "Why, he's so fast he can dance his shoes off! (Burro dances, and removes his shoes and tosses them into the crowd and they leave.)

Narrator: And there's always the legend of Rip Van Winkle. It's really quite unlikely that he could sleep for forty whole years.

Rip Van W.: (entering) Sleep? Did I hear someone mention sleep. Oh, I'd love to get some sleep!

Narrator: Have a hard day Rip?

Rip Van W.: Day, day he says! Days is more like it. Ever since those Cub Scouts came to town, I haven't slept a wink. Their Den Leaders keep knocking things over and tripping over things. And you should hear them laugh.

Narrator: Poor Rip, I guess he could use forty years sleep now.

Chef: (entering eating an ice cream cone, and looking over and under and around things, saying...."Nope, not here, etc. and "I know it's around here somewhere." Continuing to look.)

Narrator: Boy that ice cream looks good. Where can I get some?

Chef: Down the road at Custard's Last Stand.

Narrator: What are you looking for?

Chef: A mine.

Narrator: You mean the Lost Dutchman Mine?

Chef: No the lost Italian Mine of course. I hear they have the greatest pizza.

Narrator: There was a guy over there who was talking about pizza earlier. I think his name was Wild Bill.....(hiccup) Wild Bill........(hiccup)....

Chef: Yeah, I know him, Wild Bill Hiccup - Hiccup...(leave the room)

Name The Ants
Action Characters: 6 to 8 Cub Scouts

Props: Paper sacks

Setting: Skit opens with boys standing together in a backyard. Cardboard cutout trees and bushes could be used.

1st Cub: Gee, there's nothing to do.

2nd Cub: Yeah, I know.

3rd Cub: Hey, let's have a backyard picnic.

All: Yeah!

4th Cub: But it's going to rain.

1st Cub: I don't think so. If it does, we can eat in the house.

2nd Cub: I'll bring the potato chips.

3rd Cub: I'll bring the hot dogs.

4th Cub: I'll bring the hot dog buns.

5th Cub: I'll bring the drinks.

6th Cub: And I'll bring something special!

(All walk offstage and come back carrying sacks)

2nd Cub: Here are the chips.

3rd Cub: Here are the hot dogs.

4th Cub: Here are the hot dog buns.

5th Cub: Here are the drinks.

6th Cub: (Drops his sack) Oh, no!

5th Cub: What's wrong?

6th Cub: I brought the ants!!

Name Artistic Genius
Action The scene is an art show where judges are inspecting several canvases are displayed. They comment on the brightness, color, technique, that is used on the different pictures. They select one for the prize and comment additionally on the genius, imagination, and the beauty of the picture. The artist is called up and the winning picture is shown to him. The painter exclaims, "Oh, my goodness, that got in by mistake. That's the canvas that I clean my brushes on!"
Name A Compass Lesson
Action 1 leader and 2 or more scouts. A good compass and a map

Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.

Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination. John, you try that.

John : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)

Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use that to find where you are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill top.

Other boys : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments.)

Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up tonight's compass lesson. There is just one more important point ! Never, never buy a TATES compass.

Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?

Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"

Name A DRIVER’S DILEMMA
Action (A Pantomime)

CHARACTERS: A Cub Scout and his friend

PROPS: 2 chairs for the car

(The Cub and his friend are sitting on the chairs. They go through the motions as the narrator reads.)

NARRATOR: Cub Scout John and his friend one day Went for a ride in his Chevrolet (Pretend driving) His friend was cool, his name was Frank But he is what you might call, a crank. (Cub leans over and pushes starter button) It’s just too bad he wasn’t a little smarter ‘Cause he doesn’t know how to work the starter. John showed him how, the little dear And also how to shift the gear. (Pretend moving gear) Away they went but something broke ‘Twas just a measly little spoke. (Jump out fast and look at wheel. Fix tire - jump back In) He fixed it with a piece of wire Then something popped – it was a tire. (Work fast to change tire, then back to chairs) ‘Twas mended soon, but next ker-plunk They struck a branch and smashed the top. (Duck with hands over head) "Dear me" shouted Frank. "That’s too much" Then something happened to the clutch. And next poor Frank, unlucky dub Just grazed a rock and smashed the hub. "Oh Frank" said John with a squeal "I think we’re going to lose a wheel." (Looking over side of car) They climbed a hill and then was seen The tank contained no gasoline. They journeyed home with Frank a pushin’ And John just sitting upon a cushion. (Frank gets behind chair) Thinking to himself with a silly grin What a crazy story, he could tell his den.

Name A Hot Meal!
Action Version 1

3 Lost Campers Setting: Woods

#1: Boy, am I hungry! We haven't eaten in days!

#2: Me too.

#3: And I would just love a hot meal.

#1: (Looking to ground) Wow! A rabbit! Jump it! (#1 2 jump it and catch it; they start to eat it.)

#2: (Looking back at #3) Would you like some?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

#1: Suit yourself.

(A little later)

#2: Hey! A squirrel! Get it!

(#1 2 get it and start tearing it apart)

#1: (To #3) Would you like a morsel?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

(A little later)

#1: Wow! A moose!

#2: Be very quiet. (#1 2 jump it and kill it; they start eating it)

#1: Look, there's plenty here, we don't need to keep it all to ourselves, even if we did get this without your help. There's too much to eat anyway. Want any?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

#2: Are you sure? You haven't eating anything for even longer than us two.

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

(After a while,)

#1: Boy, I'm stuffed.

#2: Me too. But I think I'm getting sick. (Throws up.)

#1: I'm sick, too. (Throws up.)

#3: Wow! A hot meal!

Version 2

5 People, Cabby Setting: Outside of Restaurant

#1: Boy, what a meal. I really gorged myself.

#2: Me too.

#3: Eating that much makes it hard to walk. Let's get a cab.

#4: Agreed.

#5: Taxi!

(They all get in.)

Cabby: Get ready for a good ride, boys.

(The cabby pantomimes driving, going along like a race driver, swerving from side to side, up and down hills, does a real roller coaster ride. Sort of like my driving, if you've experienced it. The people swerve left to right with the driver, all hanging on to dear life and lunch, until they all throw up.)

Cabby: Wow! A five course meal!

Version 3

People: Any number

Setting: In the woods or where ever you can fine dead animals and bad watter

#1: Boy, am I hungry! We haven't eaten in days!

#2: Me too.

#3: And I would just love a hot meal.

#1 and #2: (Looking to ground) Wow! A dead rabbit! Lets eat it they start to eat it.)

#2: (Looking back at #3) Would you like some?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal. Any how that dead rabbit will make you sick and will probable kill you.

#1: Suit yourself.

(A little later)

#2: Hey! A dead squirrel!

#1: (To #3) Would you like a morsel?

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal. Any how that dead squirrel will make you sick and will probable kill you

#2: Are you sure? You haven't eating anything for even longer than us two.

#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.

(A little later)

#1: I'am thristy

#2: Me to. Hay look at that water over there. Lets drink it.

#3: I wouldn't if I were you it is stagnant ( poisonous ) It will make you sick and will probable kill you.

(After a while,)

#1: Boy, I'm stuffed.

#2: Me too. But I think I'm getting sick. (Throws up.)

#1: I'm sick, too. (Throws up.)

#3: Wow! A hot meal!

Name A Quiet Day:
Action One player stands with his ear to a fence (an old painted sheet will work) as if listening intently. Several others enter to watch. One of them asks, "What do you hear?"

"Listen!" he says dramatically. They all listen, look puzzled. Another says, "I don't hear anything. "

"Listen!" first player says again. The routine repeats once or twice more. Finally, one player says with great disgust, "I don't hear anything!"

"Funny," says the first player, "it's been like that all day!" Players exit. ---

Name A Talking Martian!
Action Requires a lot of imagination or some props to show that these guys are horses and a Martian.

Cast: 2 Horses, Martian, perhaps some costumes

Setting: Race Track

If necessary, explain that these are two horses and a Martian.

#1: You know, I had a bad day on the track today. My rider must have eaten a lot last night, because he was a lot heavier than usual, so my back got really tired and I almost tripped.

#2: I've had similar problems. My rider hits me in the side so much with his feet that I can't run because it hurts so much.

#1: Say, did you hear that the ugly mare is going to be entered into the grooming contest? The mane on that thing just doesn't compare to either of ours.

#2: You're right. Things in the racing world just don't seem to be fair to us horses.

Martian: You know, I could help you two out with your problems.

#1 2: Look! A talking Martian!

Name The Babies & Dads
Action Doctor, three Dads Setting: Hospital

Doctor: Mr. Thompson, congratulations. You're the proud father of twins!

Thompson: What a coincidence-I come from Two Mountains!

(Later,)

Doctor: Mr. Smith, you now have triplets!

Smith: That's quite astonishing! I come from Three Rivers!

Third father faints; doctor revives him.

Doctor: Mr. Smart-what's wrong? Your wife hasn't even given birth yet!

Smart: I come from Thousand Islands!

Name Backpacking
Action Two scouts lay down on sleeping bags on the stage. Two other scouts, pretending to be bikers "ride" over to one of the scouts who is on top of the bag and proceed to beat him up. They do anything they want to make it look like they have hurt him. They see him moving and "ride" off.

The scout who just got beat up turns to his buddy and says, "Two bikers just came through the woods and beat me up." His buddy turns to him and says, "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."

This happens two more times, with the bikers beating up the guy, but on the third time, something different happens. The guy who gets beat up turns to his buddy and tells him what happened again. This time his friend says, "Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."

Now the bikers come back and go up to the same sleeping bag again, and one turns to the other and says, "This guy's had enough, let's get the other guy."

Name Bad Breath
Action One blanket-covered player is the terrible dragon with the terrible breath.
Plant three or four "volunteers" in the audience who come up, one by one, to say hello to the dragon.
Each time the dragon replies, "Hello!", the "volunteer" falls over dead (lots of scope for hams, here).
Then, ask for a real volunteer to say hello to the dragon.
When he says, "Hello, Dragon", the dragon falls over dead.
Name Balloon Orchestra:
Action The players in the orchestra each hold a balloon. They blow up their balloons in unison, then let out the air in a squeak at a time to the rhythm of some easily recognized rhythm such as "Blue Danube" or "Jingle Bells". To end the skit all fill their balloons with air and let go at the directors signal.
Name Bandana Skit
Action A VERY RIPE BANNANA, AND A NECKERCHEIF OR BANDANA (OLD CLOTHING OR COVERALLS PREFERED AS THE BANNANA WILL STAIN YOUR UNIFORM

TWO PEOPLE NEEDED, THE PLANT IN THE AUDIENCE AND THE INSTRUCTOR

THE INSTRUCTOR TELLS OF HOW THEY WENT TO PHILMONT AND WENT OUT ON A HIKE, BUT BEFORE THEY LEFT, THEY HAD TO GIVE UP MOST OF THEIR UN-NECESSARY ITEMS AND TAKE ONLY WHAT WAS NEEDED. ONE OF THE ITEMS THJEY WERE ALLOWED TO TAKE WAS THEIR PHILMONT BANDANA BECAUSE IT SERVED SO MANY PURPOSES WHICH THEY WOULD LIKE TO DEMONSTRATE.

(ASK FOR A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE WHO ALSO HAS A BANDANA, THE OBVIOUSLY NOT TOO BRIGHT "plant" VOLUNTEERS) TELL HIM, THIS IS A BIG ROOM SO I'LL SHOW THIS SIDE AND YOU SHOW THAT SIDE, OK?,

FOLLOW MY LEAD.

SO FIRST YOU TAKE OUT YOUR BANDANA (PLANT PULLS OUT A BANANNA SHOWS IT TO THE CROWD) I GOT MA BANDNANA! AND THEN DO EXACTLY WHAT THE INSTRUCTOR DOES. . .

FOLD IT IN HALF,

FOLD IT AGAIN,

PUT IT IN YOUR BACKPOCKET,

WIPE YOUR ARMPITS WITH IT,

UNFOLD IT PUT IT ON YOUR HEAD

(THE WHOLE TIME MAKING COMMENTS LIKE "ARE YOU SURE? THAT FEELS GOOD? THIS DON'T SEEM RIGHT ! AND ALWAYS REPEAT THE ISTRUCTIONS BACK SO THAT YOU SEEM REALLY SIMPLE, BE VERY ANIMATED AND SURPRISED, BUT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTORS LEAD)

USE IT TO SHINE YOUR SHOES, ECT. AND

FINALLY, WIPE OFF YOUR SWEATY FOREHEAD.

WHEN THE PLANT IS COMPLETELY COVEWRED, THE INSTRUCTOR AND THE PLANT TURN AND FACE EACH OTHER IN SUPRISE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

WHERES YOUR BANDANA??

BANDANA !! I THOUGHT YOU SAID BANANNA !!

BOTH WALK OFF STAGE SHAKING HEADS

Name Bear Hunt
Action A variation on A Talking Martian! and Saloon.

Cast: Bear, two hunters

Setting: The woods

#1: (Whispering) Ah! There's a bear! I can shoot it and I'll have my take for the day! (Bang! And the bear falls down.) Well, I'll go get some rope to drag it.

#2: No! It's mine!

#1: Hey! I shot that bear myself. It's clearly mine.

#2: Look. You couldn't have shot that bear if I didn't drive us here.

#1: Well, I've got news for you. I just killed that bear. It's mine.

#2: And another thing, ...

The two continue arguing when all of a sudden, the bear rises, growls, and frightens the two hunters away.

Name Bee Sting
Action CAST: 2 scouts PROPS: none SETUP: none

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."

2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"

1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."

2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."

1st scout: "But that bee will be miles away by this time."

Name The Bell Ringer
Action Bell Ringer, Scene #1

CAST: Bell-ringer, applicant, Gendarme, announcer PROPS: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat and/or nightstick for Gendarme. SETUP: 3-part skit. The same person is used for both applicants.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)

Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)

Hunchback: Yeah! What do you want?

Applicant: I'm here about the bell ringer's job.

Hunchback: All right! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.)

Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it?

Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you?

Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.

Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go back.)

Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.

Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job?

Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year. (Finally arriving at the bell) Alright, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard... (steps back and follows path of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that?

Applicant: Sure! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the ground)

Hunchback: Oh my gosh! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground) (Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)

Gendarme: (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you! Do you know this guy? (Rolls body over with foot)

Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell!

Bell Ringer, Scene #2

CAST: Bell-ringer, applicant, Gendarme, announcer PROPS: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat and/or nightstick for Gendarme. SETUP: The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a little more 'hamming it up'

[When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:]

Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.

Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.

[Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.][Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.]

Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday!

Bell Ringer, Scene #3

CAST: Bell-ringer, applicant, Gendarme, announcer, 2 Firemen PROPS: Rain slickers, blanket, Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat and/or nightstick for Gendarme. SETUP: To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used. Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. They jig and jog around the performing area.

Gendarme: (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing?

Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him!

Name Bell Ringer (the hunchback)
Action Part 1 Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)

Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.) Hunchback: Yeah ! What do you want ?

Applicant: I'm here about the bellringer's job.

Hunchback: All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.)

Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?

Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?

Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.

Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go back.)

Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.

Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?

Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year. (Finally arriving at the bell) Alright, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard (steps back and follows path of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that ?

Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the ground)

Hunchback: Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground) (Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)

Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)

Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !

Part 2 (The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer part1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a little more 'hamming it up')

(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:) Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday. Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.

(Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)

(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)

Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday!

Name Bell Ringer (the minister)
Action Part 1 The minister advertises for a bell ringer for his church. There is knock on the door. A man with no arms has come to apply for the position. The minister reluctantly points out his disability, but the applicant assures him he can do the job. They climb the stairs to the bell tower (run around and around the campfire talking about how far up it is). Once in the belfry, the man gets a running start and strikes the bell with his face. (make sound of bell ringing). The minister is surprised, but pleased the man can do the job. The minister gives him the job, and that it is time to ring the noon bell to ring. The applicant again gets a running start, but this time trips, misses the bell and falls from the tower to his death. (ham it up). (minister runs down from the tower, a crowd gathers and a policeman arrives.) The policeman begins to question the minister. He asks him if he knows the man's name. The minister replies: "I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell".

Part 2 (This skit is performed after part 1. Either immediately or with another skit in between.) The minister is walking around talking to himself about how will he ever get a new bell ringer, when he is surprised by a knock on the door. He is surprised to see another man without arms applying for the job. It turns out he is the twin brother of the first applicant. Go through the skit same as the first. This time when the policeman asked if he knows the man's name, the minister replies: "No but he is a dead ringer for the last guy."

Name Bell Ringer (overkill)
Action (To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)

Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.

(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. The jig and jog around the performing area.

Gendarme : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ? Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him !

Name The Best Spitter In The World
Action The key performer is the Catcher, who must wave around a can of water without spilling. He simulates the spit hitting the can by tapping on the can with his finger. He will need to practice so that he does not spill, does not show the audience that there is water in the can, and can be heard but not seen when he taps the can.

The catcher sits quietly in the audience. The can of water is on the stage, but not obvious.

A Scout loudly proclaims himself as The Best Spitter In The World. He boasts about his spitting ability, saying that he can spit farther than anyone else. Other Scouts, who have been planted at the back of the audience, challenge him to prove it, saying that they do not believe him. The audience takes up the cry.

The Spitter agrees and asks for someone from the audience to catch for him, just to prove his ability. The Catcher volunteers, acting as if he expects to be the scapegoat.

The Spitter explains that he will stand about 20 feet apart. He will spit, and the Catcher will catch the spit, just to prove the distance and accuracy. The Catcher reacts with horror, "I'm not going to touch your spit!" The Spitter is understanding, notices the can, and offers it as something to catch with. The Catcher agrees with obvious relief.

They set up a short distance apart. The Spitter winds up and spits. The catcher reaches up and catches with a solid thump.

The Spitter takes a bow, but the audience is not impressed. They say anyone can do that, do something harder. They back off and repeat the performance from a greater distance. Again, the audience yells at him.

After several tries, the Spitter claims that he can spit all the way around the world! The audience reaction is predictable. They set up; the Spitter spits; the Catcher ducks, waits, moves the pan around, and catches it.

Now the planted Scouts yell that the Spitter is a fake! They say that he couldn't really spit all around the world. The Spitter says, "Oh, yeah? Show them."

The Catcher turns and throws the water into the crowd.

Name The Better Thief
Action Cast: 2 Scouts

There are two scouts, they each say, "I'm the better thief."

"No I'm the better thief."

Then one says, "Wait, lets have a contest, we will walk past each other three times and who ever steals the best thing wins."

The scouts then walk past each other twice pulling out objects such as knife, watch, glasses, etc.

Finally on the third pass, the first scout says, "I've got your wallet, ha, beat that!"

The second Scout looks around nervously then says, "You've got my wallet, well in that case you would win, but ... I've got you're underwear!" And waves a pair of shorts in the air.

Name Be Prepared
Action CAST: 4 PROPS: loud horn, air horn or other very loud device. SETUP: First scout walks to center of stage, stands to attention, salutes and says...

1st scout: "BE PREPARED".

[This is repeated by three other scouts. When they are all standing side by side, a loud motor horn or explosion is let off behind the audience.]

All scouts: 'We TOLD you to be prepared!'

Name The Bicycle Shop
Action CAST: Shop owner, customer, volunteer from audience PROPS: none SETUP: The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in a row, as bicycles.

Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.

Customer: (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.

Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size?

[Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the third is too small.]

Customer: I sure like the first one, let me try it again.

Shop Owner: Why not? (Setting up bike again)

There you are, it's all set up again. (Customer sits on it, and again it falls down.)

Customer: I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.

Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it may need a little adjustment. Let me get some help.

[A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.]

Customer : (Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was the problem?

Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together!

Name The Biggest Turkey
Action An alternate ending follows the regular skit.

Cast: Box or suitable covering, Person in Box, Announcer, Victim, regular and serving spoons, stick and log, paper and book, rubber chicken, small cue card

Setting: Circus, Boardwalk, Technology Show

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! To demonstrate my enlarging machine, I will need a volunteer! (Get your victim.) I need you to help me while I explain what is going on. Now, look at what this machine can do! Please, will you put this spoon into the machine? (He does, and out comes the serving spoon, noises.) Isn't that amazing, ladies and gentlemen! Now watch. (Victim puts in stick, and log comes out.) My goodness, something to heat your home with! This is amazing! And please put in this piece of paper. (Book comes out.) Even I am amazed! (Finally, chicken is put in, and say you expect a turkey to come out. But cue card comes out.) This is amazing! The machine says that the biggest turkey of them all is right here!

An alternate ending is to complain about how slowly the machine is working, and it needs to be washed. The operator throws a small cup of water on the side, and a moment later a large bucket of water hits him.

Name Big Game Hunting:
Action Two to four hunters talking together each says that he is packing a heavier and more powerful gun to shoot with. The first starts out with a small handgun and the last ending up with a very powerful rifle, shotgun, whatever. Two others come over who have overheard the hunter and want to settle a bet. Are the hunters going after wolves or moose. One of the hunters relies," "Why no, we are going after mosquitoes!!"
Name Big Itch
Action Cast: Guy, 4 People on lunch break

Setting: Park Bench

Guy is sitting on park bench.

Guy: I'm waiting for my girlfriend. I hope she comes soon.

(Luncher #1 sits on bench and moves him over. #2 sits on end and they move over, further pushing guy. #3 comes, and #4 comes, each in turn pushing the guy a little until he falls off. Really annoyed, he starts to scratch himself a little, then a little more then all over. Lunchers look at each other, start scratching a little bit then hurriedly leave.)

Guy: (Sitting on bench again) Works all the time!

Name Black Bart
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: none SETUP: The "good guy" is chasing Black Bart all around the area.

There are many Black Bart variations, all revolving around the basic plot of the hero chasing Black Bart. The hero yells non-specific phrases such as:

"Get back here, Black Bart!", "I'll catch you, Black Bart!", "Stop, Black Bart!", "It's no use, Black Bart!", and so forth...

The hero and BB come face to face. BB is cornered, building up the tension. Destroy it with the lines like: "You get the ball, I'll get the bat and we'll meet in five minutes."; "Oh, all right, Black Bart, you use that one and I'll use the other one."; "O.K., it's the great taste, not the low price!"; etc.

Name The Blanket Tossing Team
Action This takes about six guys, who form a circle around an invisible blanket, with a small invisible guy (Bruce) who sits in the middle of the invisible blanket and gets tossed.

"We're an Olympic blanket tossing team, and Bruce in the middle here is our star blanket bouncer. We'll toss Bruce a bit just to warm up. One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!"

On three each time, the team lets the pretend blanket go slack, then pull it taught. They watch the invisible Bruce go up in the air, then come down, and the gently catch him again in the blanket. Each time they toss him higher. The team has to be in sync, and they have to watch about the same spot -- the easiest way to do this is to have everyone just imitate the leader, who is the speaker.

"OK, we're all limbered up now?" The team murmers in agreement. "Then let's toss Bruce a bit higher. One, two, three!"

Bruce comes up, and the team adjusts their position a bit to catch him as he comes down.

"One, two, three!" This wait about ten seconds, and move quite a bit to get under him. Move this way and that before finally catching him.

"One, two, three!" twenty seconds this time, almost lose track of him, adjust the position here, there, and here again.

"What? What's that you say, Bruce?" pause "Audience, you are in luck! Bruce wants to go for the world record blanket toss! Ready team? One! Two! Thu-reee!!!" A mighty toss! The team shifts positions, like trying to catch a high fly ball. "There he goes! He's past the trees! He's really up there!" pause, looking hard into the sky "Do you see him? I've lost him. Where'd he go?" another pause "Oh well." The team leaves the stage, and the program continues.

After another skit and song, and preferably in the middle of awards or announcements of some sort, "Bruce! Quick team!" The blanket tossing team runs back on stage, positions themselves this way and that, and catches Bruce. "Let's have a big hand for Bruce! Yeay!!!"

Name BOB CAT’S BIG CATCH
Action CAST: GRAY SQUIRREL, RUNNING DEER, SMALL BEAR, LITTLE WOLF, BOB CAT, CHIEF AKELA.

COSTUMES: Assorted Indian Costumes: headbands, vests, breech cloths, etc.

PROPS: Drum for Gray Squirrel. Small bow and arrow for Bob Cat to carry

SETTING: A clearing in the forest. As scene opens, all but Bob Cat and Chief Akela are seated in a Semi-circle facing audience. Gray Squirrel is slowly beating drum.

RUNNING DEER: (Chants) This big day in Bob Cat’s life; Make-um Brave, if good with knife.

SMALL BEAR: In our tribe he will belong - If nothing in forest go-um wrong.

LITTLE WOLF: Hope he catch-um heap big prey Make Chief Akela happy today.

GRAY SQUIRREL: (stops drum - cups hand to ear) Hark, my brothers - sound I hear - Think brother Bob Cat must be near!

(Off stage, continuous loud sneezing is heard. This goes on and off for rest of skit.)

(Enter Bob Cat and Chief Akela, Chief Akela holds Bob Cat by the back of the vest. Bob Cat continues to sneeze. In his hand he carries small bow and arrow.)

RUNNING DEER: Brother Bob Cat, what you fetch? We wait-um here to see big catch.

CHIEF AKELA: Bob Cat head for father’s teepee Hunt has made him tired and sleepy Have to hunt where buffalo play Another time - another day.

SMALL BEAR: But Chief Akela - where is catch That brother Bob Cat went to fetch?

CHIEF AKELA: Brother Bob Cat plenty bold - Him wad-um creek and catch-um cold!

(Chief gently pushes Bob Cat off stage. All seated braves laugh, then quickly clap hands to mouths and refold arms. Gray Squirrel starts to beat drum as curtain closes.)

Name Bonfire
Action CAST: Leader several helpers PROPS: Matches, buckets of water SETUP: The leader begins to explain how to lay a campfire.

Leader: "Now I will demonstrate how to properly lay a fire. In order that everyone may see better I have decided to use members of the audience to represent the different pieces of wood."

[The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers. Some of the volunteers are bunched in the center for tinder with others placed for kindling with the "big" logs stacked on top of each other in increasing larger sizes.]

Leader: "The fire is now ready to light, one match!"

[Leader strikes a match, whereupon, several accomplices yell out "ITS ON FIRE", and dash several buckets of water on the fire.]

Name Border Crossing
Action A variation on The Ghost of Midnight and The Ghost With One Black Eye.

Cast: Border Guard, Supervisor, Several Crossers, 2 Brooms

Guard: Hi, Boss! I'm new here! What do I do?

Supervisor: Well, you have to make sure that people don't try to cross the border without stopping first. You can shoot at them if you have to.

Guard: With what?

Supervisor: Well, we're out of guns, so here's a broom. People won't know the difference if you just go Bang! Bang! Bang!

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!

Supervisor: See? I told you. Now whenever it doesn't work, here's a pretend bayonet. If they don't fall from the fake gun, you can always try stabbing them.

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!

Supervisor: See? I told you. Now go to work and don't stop until your shift is finished.

Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. It doesn't work either.) Boss! Boss! What do I do?

Before boss answers, crosser points a broom at the guard and goes Bang! Bang! Bang! and the guard falls.

Name BOSS, THE TRAIN!
Action CAST: 2 BOYS tracking animals Rest of den acts as TRAIN.

PROPS: 3 flashlights, Other props as desired.

SETTING: 2 boys are walking across the stage shining their flashlights on ground as if they’re looking for something.

BOY #1: Look! Bear tracks!

BOY #2: (sarcastically) There ain’t no bears around here. These are raccoon tracks.

BOY #1: Those are bear tracks.

BOY #2: They can’t be!

BOY #1: I know what bear tracks look like and those are bear tracks.

BOY #2: Raccoon tracks!

BOY #1: Bear tracks!

BOY #2: Raccoon tracks!

(Boys grab each other and start to wrestle. As they are rolling around on the ground, the other boys enter making train noises the first one carrying a flashlight to simulate the headlight of the train. Boys stop wrestling)

BOY #1 and #2 (Look at each other and say in unison.) Train tracks! (They jump up and start running as the train chases them offstage.)

Name Brain Shop
Action Cast: Customer, Shopkeeper

Setting: Brain Shop

Customer: Hi! I'm bored with myself. I'd like to buy a new brain and have an all new personality.

Shopkeeper: (In one of those evil, horror movie voices) Ahh, yes. Well, I can sell you this brain from Billy Crystal for $5000. Here. Try it. ("Unscrews" head and plops in pretend brain.) How do you feel?

Customer: (In Billy Crystal style voice) Marvelous. I ... feel ... marrrvelous. But I don't think it's me. Can I try another?

Shopkeeper: Okay. Let me see. (Rummages around.) Let's try this one. It's the brain from Captain Kirk. Only $5000.

Customer: (In Kirk voice) Scotty ... Can you fix those transporters? No, a bit too famous for me.

Shopkeeper: Sure. I'll go out back. (Rummages around in back of store.) Here's one from Ronald Reagan. It only costs $5000. How do you feel?

Customer: (In Ronald Reagan style voice) Wellll ... Bonzo, stop that ... I think that this one's still a bit too famous for me.

Shopkeeper: Hmmmm. A tough customer. I'll have to go down to the basement. I'll be back. (Customer comments on the kind of brains he has gotten and what kind he'll get next.) Ahhh, here we are. The best in the house, not famous at all. I guarantee you'll love it. Only $15000. (Yes ... $15000.)

Customer: (Imitates a leader in the crowd for some notorious act, such as putting up the sign and calling out "PACK!" or admonishing the kids or doing a famous routine or the like.) Hmmm ... this is good. But I recognize it. No, wait ... it's (Insert name of person.) I love it! But tell me ... the brains of those three famous people only cost $5000 apiece. This one, however, comes from a virtually unknown, unimportant person. Why does it cost $15000?

Shopkeeper: Well, it's never been used!

Name Brain Transplant
Action A group Scout goes to a new Scientific Laboratory where they have developed a new process for brain transplants. The Scouts asks to see the selection of brains. The doctor shows them a selection. (the brains may be in cans, where they look in it). The first one is marked $500.00. The scouts ask about it and are told it is the brain from a peddler. The next $1,000.00,-a policeman, 1,500.00 - a teacher, etc up to $5,000.00 for the brain of the greatest physicist in the world. The Scouts then see a container marked, $20,000.00 and ask about it. The doctor explains "It is the brain from ____________ (DE Camp Director or Leader) and has never been used!
Name Bucket Head!
Action Submitted by: James Brezina

The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).

The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the 'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags, or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.

Name BUC TUOCS
Action (Round-up Skit)

CAST: ANNOUNCER DR. CURE-ALL CUB SCOUTS (number can vary)

ANNOUNCER: Presenting Dr. Cure-All and his marvelous medical discovery, "BUC TUOCS"

DR. CURE-ALL: Thank you, my friends. Boys, have you been feeling sluggish lately? Do you have that gray feeling? Do you have that over-seven feeling? I have the answer to your woes: "BUC TUOCS"!

CUB 1: When I reached seven, I needed something. I was out of touch. I tried "BUC TUOCS" and got the lift I needed.

CUB 2: I couldn’t adjust. My social life was falling apart. "BUC TUOCS" was the answer for me.

CUB 3: I was afraid of growing old. Was life passing me by? "BUC TUOCS" gave my life purpose.

CUB 4: My friends had gone in different directions. "BUC TUOCS" helped me find new friends. (You can use more testimonials if you have more Cub Scouts)

DR. CURE-ALL: Thank you boys for your unsolicited testimonials. Remember folks, try "BUC TUOCS" -- that’s CUB SCOUT spelled backwards!

Name THE BURNING SCHOOLHOUSE
Action CAST: Old man and several boys.

SCENE: Boys are standing around talking when an old man comes by

OLD MAN: The school house is burning!

BOYS: (The boys become very excited and shout.) The school is burning! The school is burning!"

(The old man stays on stage. The boys run off to one side. The first boy crosses the stage carrying a cup. Another boy follows then another, just about then the first boy comes hurrying back across the stage.)

BOYS: Hurry! Hurry! It’s burning faster!

(This continues so that one or two boys are always crossing the stage area in each direction, urging each other to greater speed and to not spill the contents of the cup. Finally the old man speaks)

OLD MAN: Say fellows, you’re never going to put out that fire with those little cups of water.

ONE BOY: Water? This isn’t water, it’s kerosene!!!"

(Boys hurry off to the fire.)

Name Bus
Action (Sit four or five cubs in a line like a bus with a driver a the front)

Cub at the Back: I Need a Wee, Stop the bus (each cub passes it forward)

Driver: I'll stop as soon as I can (pass back)

Cub: I really need a wee

Driver: Okay I am stopping now

(Bus stops, cub rushes forward and jumps of the bus and turn's around shouting weeeeeeee.)

Name Bus Driver
Action Cast: Several Passengers, Bus Driver, "Stinky"

Setting: Bus

Bus driver drives the bus along the route, and at each stop, more and more people get off the bus, holding their noses, telling the driver to hurry up, pushing against each other, running off the bus, until finally only Stinky and the Driver are left on the bus.

Driver: (Talking to Stinky) Hey! All my passengers left. You know anything about it? (Smells something awful.) Hmm. Something smells -- it must be you.

Did you wash this morning?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Hmm. Deodorant?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Hmm. Clean shirt?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Clean underwear?

Stinky: Yes.

Driver: Change your socks?

Stinky: Sure! Here are the old ones!

Name Camel Patrol
Action A Scout dressed in a turban enters the campfire circle. He places a blanket on the ground, kneels and begins to pry. He prays by bowing down and with his arms out-stretched, he chant "Oh Allah, bring me a camel." Repeat a number of times, and then he looks under the blanket. He shakes his head sadly and asks for a volunteer to help him. The two kneel and pray to Allah for a camel. Again the first scout looks under the blanket and finds nothing. He continues to recruit volunteers two or three at a time, each time praying for a camel. (if the volunteers are not really helping then egg them on.) When there is no more room on the blanket for volunteers the first scouts stand and says: "Allah hasn't sent me a camel, but he has sent me a lot of silly saps!"
Name Campers and Bears
Action Two campers are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear! The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar. They're both frozen in their tracks.

The first camper whispers, "I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today."

"It doesn't matter what kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies the second.

"I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU," he answers. Then he takes off running.

Name Campfire Conference
Action Six or eight weary-looking campers enter the campfire circle, silently circle the campfire once, and sit in a ring around the fire. After a pause, the first camper sighs and says "What a day!" There's another pause for deliberation before the second camper sighs and says, "What a day!", and yet another before the third repeats, and so on around the circle until they reach the last camper. He sighs and says, "Yes sirree!" (or "You betcha", or something similar).

After a long silence, the first camper says in disgust, "If you can't stick to the subject, I'm getting out of here!" Then he rises and leaves the campfire, followed by all the others.

Name Camp Coffee Sketch
Action Camp Coffee Sketch

Name Title Equipment You need a large dixie or billy [a large pot that's kept on the fire for coffee, tea, etc.] in the centre of the stage and four scouts.

In England we have nesting sets of aluminium cooking pots with a steel wire handle. They look like a small straight sided bucket or paint pot. These are called Billys or Billycans. We also have larger cast iron or steel cooking pots usually oval in shape. Most of these are army surplus and are known as Dixies. Preparation Action 1st Scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink.) "This camp coffee is getting worse!"

2nd Scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink.) "This camp tea is getting worse!"

3rd Scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink.) "This camp chocolate is getting worse!"

4th Scout (Walks to billy, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says.) "I thought that would get them clean!"

Name Candy Store
Action CAST: Leader helpers PROPS: rope or string SETUP: The leader gives instructions for playing candy store.

Leader asks people from the audience take a long string and hold on and adds others until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then the leader explains that this is the candy store because there are some suckers hanging on the line.

Name Candy Store variation
Action CAST: Leader, helpers several customers PROPS: long pole or stick, blanket SETUP: The leader gives instructions for playing candy store.

A candy store owner enters carrying a long pole. He asks two members of the audience to hold the pole, draping a blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One by one customers come in asking for different types of candy, to each, the owner replies that he doesn't have any. Finally, a customer asks what he does have. The owner states he doesn't have any candy left except for these two suckers on a stick, pulling the blanket away at the same time.

Name Can You Do This?
Action Cast: 2 People, campfire blanket

Have one person lie down on his back and the other kneel directly over him. The top person wears the campfire blanket so as to hide his legs and expose the legs of the person lying down, to create the effect of it being one person sitting down.

Person: Hi there! Welcome to Don's House of Fine Exercises and Sports Medicine. Today I'm going to ask you about your regular stretching routine. Can you do this? (Lifts up a leg so that it's parallel with the chest.) Or this? (Lifts other leg.) And how about this? (Crosses the legs.) This is an unusual one. Can you do it? (Brings feet around the neck.) And let's not forget this one. Can you do it? (Stretches out the legs in spread eagle fashion in the air.) (Elicit a no answer from a volunteer.) Well, neither can I! (Stands up.)

Name Captain Obvious
Action At camp this year the staff had a running joke with "Captain Obvious." Things like this.

Boy, up front, can't get boots off. From a distance you hear CAAAAP TAAAAN OOOOB VIII OUUUS. The super hero wearing a cape, mask, and big "O" on his chest just runs up and says "You know Billy, It would be easier to take off your boots if you untied them".

Great gag easy to come up with others.

Name CASTOR OIL
Action CHARACTERS: YOUNG MAN DRUGGIST PATRON

SETTING: A 1950’s drug store

YOUNG MAN: Is it possible to disguise the taste of castor oil?

DRUGGIST: Certainly young man.

YOUNG MAN: It’s such horrible stuff to take. Yuck!!!

DRUGGIST: It certainly is.

PATRON: (Enters Drug Store) Chocolate soda please.

DRUGGIST: Would you like one, too, young man?

YOUNG MAN: Oh yes. I’d like one very much.

(Druggist makes up 2 sodas and gives them to the Patron and the Young Man.)

YOUNG MAN: (finishing his soda) My that was good! Now tell me about disguising castor oil, sir.

DRUGGIST: Aha my dear young man. I gave you some castor oil in that soda and you didn’t even know.

YOUNG MAN: But good heavens sir, I wanted it for my brother!!!

Name Champion Spitter
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: metal bucket or can, egg/water/towel SETUP: Mr. Kerpluk, the world renown spitter, will demonstrate several of his famous spits for the group. He could be French, German, etc. with the appropriate accent.

An assistant holds a bucket across the stage for Mr. Kerplunk to spit into. Whenever a spit is executed, assistant taps on the bottom of the bucket to create the special effect. Here are some examples of spits to use but be creative in creating your own:

1) Short Shot: He spits; sound effect comes immediately.

2) Ricochet Shot: He spits for a side wall (tree etc. if outside) and watches it bounce around before it hits the bucket.

3) Long after a long pause.

4) Fast Shot: He spits and follows the long arc with his head; sound made Shot: Sound effect is made before he spits.

5) Super Shot: Advertised as the most famous. Spends a minute getting mouth full of spit, checks bulge out and finally spits. Guy in front stands up and wipes water or raw egg from eye, or quickly puts previously wetted towel over his face, pretends to wipe himself off, and then rings out prodigious amount of water from towel.

Name Change Underwear
Action CAST: SPL several boys PROPS: none SETUP: SPL matches the boys in, single file, with SPL leading them like a drill sergeant. The SPL tells them to stop and addresses them.

SPL: "Halt. I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you get to change underwear." (The boys cheer and he cuts them off.) "The bad news is that they have to change with each another. You change with him, you change with him..."

Name Chewing Gum
Action You will need: 5 Cub Scouts, props should include a lamppost, park bench, tree.

Scene: Park area, Cub Scouts walk on one at a time. This is a pantomime skit and is great to use with younger Cub Scouts and shy boys.

One CUB walks on stage chewing imaginary gum (use exaggerated motions- chewing, blowing bubbles, pulling gum out of mouth, putting it back in), leans against lamppost for a bit, takes gum out of his mouth and sticks it to the lamppost. He then walks off stage.

Second CUB comes on stage, leans against lamppost, feels gum stick, pulls the gum off and sticks gum to bench.

Second CUB exits.

Third CUB enters and sits on bench. Notice gum, pulls it off himself and throws it to the ground.

Fourth CUB walks on stage, steps in gum, removes gum from shoe and sticks it to tree. Exits.

Fifth CUB enters, leans against tree and finds gum. Removes gum from tree and sticks it on the lamppost.

First CUB enters again. Walks up to lamppost, finds gum and sticks it back in his mouth. Walks off stage chewing gum.

Name Chief Shortcake
Action CAST: Chief, several Indians PROPS: sheet or poncho SETUP: Pick a "volunteer" to be the dead Chief Shortcake and have him lie down covering with a towel/sheet except for his head.

Have each boy repeat a line on what to do with Chief Shortcake such as: burying the Chief with all his worldly possessions, should be burned in a great ceremonial fire, put in a cave and seal him up, and so on for as many as you need. The last Indian says that they are all wrong, "I bury Shortcake" and squirts whipped cream on Chief Shortcake's face.

Name Chin Faces
Action Performers arrange themselves with their heads hanging upside down over the edge of a table with a sheet or other drape covering their body with holes cut out exposing their mouth and chin. Place sunglasses just below the chin in front of the neck for "eyes." The chin becomes the nose, the mouth is the mouth - but upside down, so to smile you need to actually frown. The "chin face" makes a short silly speech or sings a harmonious song. Several "chin faces" in a row can form a singing group or mime a recording. Variation: Have the "chin face" be a chicken instead of a person.
Name CITY SLICKERS
Action CAST: 6 Cub Scouts as follows MA PA BOY SIS. All dressed as Hillbillies. 2 CITY SLICKERS

PROPS: Large cardboard car with handles on back. Log cabin.

SETTING: 2 City Slickers drive up in front of cabin and honk their horn.

MA: (Hillbilly woman comes out of cabin.) Howdy! What yawl want?

DRIVER: How do we get to Tulsa?"

MA: I don’t rightly know, but I’ll ask my son. (Turns and yells into cabin.) Sonny, how do yawl get to Tulsey?

BOY: (Boy comes out of cabin.) I don’t rightly know. I’ll ask Sis. (Turns and yells into cabin.) Sis! How do yawl get to Tulsey?

SIS: (Comes out of cabin.) I don’t rightly know. I’ll ask Pa. (Turns and yells into cabin.) Pa! How do yawl get to Tulsey?

PA: (Comes out of cabin.) Hmmmm, let me see now … well, I don’t rightly know how ya get to Tulsey.

RIDER: Boy, you people sure are dumb. You don’t know anything do you?

PA: Well, you see it’s this-a-way.. We may not be real smart, but we ain’t lost neither.

Name CLARENCE SLEPT HERE
Action CAST: 2 CUBS MOTHER OTHER CHILDREN (in the family)

SETTING: 2 boys playing Nintendo

1ST CUB: Clarence, I hear something. Is it raining?

2ND CUB: Sure is,

1ST CUB: When you came over there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.

2ND CUB: Sure wasn’t

1ST CUB: Wow! Look out the window! It’s raining cats and dogs!

2ND CUB: Sure is.

MOTHER: Clarence, I can’t let you go home in this storm. You’ll catch your death of cold.

1ST CUB: Mom, can Clarence sleep over? Huh, can he? Please?

MOTHER: Sure he can. But you come upstairs with me first and get your room straightened up.

(Mother and 1st Cub leave to go upstairs talking between themselves. Clarence leaves in another direction. Mother comes back and calls for Clarence.)

Mother: Clarence, I’ve got your bed ready ... Clarence? Clarence, Where are you? (Clarence comes in dripping wet) Clarence! You’re soaking wet! Where have you been?"

2ND CUB: (panting) I ran home … to get … my pajamas.

Name Climb That
Action Two Scouts meet, and the first scout begins to brag he can climb anything.

Scout 1: "Can you climb that tree?"

Scout 2 "Sure I've done it lots of times."

Scout 1 "Can you climb the steep hill over there?"

Scout 2 "No sweat, no problem for me."

Scout 1 "How about the Empire State Building?"

Scout 2 "Done it, Did it."

Scout 1 "How about Mount Everest?"

Scout 2 "Boy that was I cold day, I've done that too. I told you I am the world's greatest climber, I can climb anything!"

Scout 1 "I'll bet you ten bucks I can show you something that you can't climb."

Scout 2 "Your on!"

Scout 1 pulls out a flashlight and shine the beam up into the sky "all right climb that!"

Scout 2 "Are you crazy? No Way!"

Scout 1 "I knew you would back out, now pay up!"

Scout 2 "I won't pay because its not fair. I know you, I'd start climbing and I'd get half way and you'd turn the flashlight off!"

Name Clyde Klutzo
Action (Clyde is a blithering idiot, in a Nazi U-boat. There is the captain at the periscope, three people with their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them, and Clyde at the back. The captain waves back and forth a bit and the people behind do whatever the captain does, imitating waves. Whatever the captain commands is echoed as quickly as possible through the chain of command. That's about 2 seconds per person, otherwise it gets real boring.

"Here vee are in our Nazi U-Boot. Ahead vee have an enemy fessel. Prepare dee torpedos!"

(Prepare dee torpedoes, prepare dee torpedoes, prepare dee torpedoes.)

After staring at the many buttons with a stupified expression, Clyde says "I don't know how!"

(He don't know how, he don't know how, he don't know how, back to the captain in front.)

Mein Gott, vat stupidity! Press dee Green button!

(press dee green button, ...)

Clyde hunts a bit, brightens up, and presses the green button.

"I haff him! Fire dee torpedoes!" (Fire ...)

"I don't know how..." (He don't ...)

"By dee Fuerher's mustache ... press dee Blue button!" (Press ...)

Clyde presses the blue button with a flourish, then the chain of command from clyde back to the captain says Shhhh! Shhhh! Shhhh! to imitate the torpedo being fired and rushing ahead.

"Damm! Vee missed! Read torpedo Two!" (Ready ...)

I don't know how... (he don't ...)

"Wass fuer ein Dummkopf ... press dee Yellow Button!" (Press ...)

Shhhh! Shhh! Shhhhh! (the torpedo is fired)

"Vee haff missed again! Iff vee miss a third time, I shall kill myself! Ready torpedo Three! " (Ready ...)

"I don't know how..." (he don't ...)

"Dee Orange button!" (Press...)

Shhhh! Shhhh! Shhhhhhh!

"Vee haff missed a third time. I am not vurthee to serff mein Fuerher. Aufviedersehen." And he shoots himself.

The second guy picks up the gun, and shoots himself. And the third. And the fourth.

Clyde Klutzo picks up the gun, looks at it this way and that, then says, "I don't know how..."

If the audience already knows this skit, an alternative ending has them hit the fessel. They join arms in a circle and dance around singing "We sunk a rowboat! We sunk a rowboat!" to the tune of "Nyah, nyah, nyeh nyah nyah")

Name conservation
Action Equipment cup, 4 to how many scouts you want, water, anouncer
Preparation put half a mouthfull of water in the last person's mouth DON'T SWALLOW, DON'T LET THE AUDIENCE SEE THIS have another cup filled with water for the first person

Have all the people except the announcer stand in a straight line, the last person will have the water in his mouth. the anouncer will start talking about water concervation and how water is very heavy on backpacking trips and these scouts have found a way around that. the announcer turns around and ask for a demo of one of the ways to conserve water and the first scout says ok and all start brushing their teeth with their fingers. last person needs to practice before hand so water doesn't spill out. after everybody is done "brushing" have the anouncer take a cup over to the first person. let the announcer accidently spill some water out of the cup to show the audience there is water in there. give the water to the first person have the first person and have him rinse his mouth out with water and swallow the water then the first person will turn to the second and "transfer" water to the next scout's ear. cover transfer with hand over mouth and ear. repeat action down the line till last scout, who with great showmanship, spits the water out!!

Name Contagious Disease Ward
Action CAST: 4-5 PROPS: stuffing for pregnant women, seats SETUP: The scene takes place in the waiting room of a doctor of contagious and communicable diseases, Dr. Ringworm, M.D., l.s.d., v.i.p., l.c.b. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or books.

In walks a fellow (a) with an itch which he scratches periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and attempts to read but is disturbed periodically by his itch. After a while , a second fellow (B) comes in with a serious hand twitch. B sits next to A. B gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to twitch. When it has been well established that they have contracted each others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg twitch. Pretty soon all three have the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a fourth guy comes in bouncing all over the place and shaking every muscle in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and are bouncing around in their chairs. Then a boy dressed like a pregnant lady strolls in casually and the other four scramble for their lives.

Name COTTON
Action (A "J.C. Penney" Variation)

Spokesman keeps meeting guys with new clothes - a loud shirt, new shoes, bright socks, new pants, a hat etc. Each time he remarks how snappy they look and ask where they got such neat clothes. "FROM COTTON" is always the reply. A while later he meets up with a guy with a black eye, bruises, a cut lip and only a towel wrapped around his waist. Sure enough, when the spokesman asks him his name it’s "Cotton"

Name Court Case
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: suitcase, briefcase, milk case, etc. SETUP: First person already on stage, supposedly to introduce next activity.

Second person walks in with a suitcase. First person asks where he is going. The first person's reply is that he is taking his case to court. A little while later he comes in with the case and also a ladder. This time he says that he taking his case to a higher court.

Name Court Scene
Action CAST: 3-4 defendants, judge, cop, PROPS: none SETUP: In courtroom in from of judge. Cop brings in defendants one at a time.

Defendant: "I'm Innocent! I was just picking up pebbles on the beach!"

[Two or more with similar stories. Last person comes on stage either dressed like a guy dressed like a girl or a girl, saying, "Hi, I'm Pebbles", in an alluring manner.]

Name CPR RESCUERS
Action CAST: 3 CUB SCOUTS

SETTING: Cubs are standing around reading newspapers or magazines as if waiting for the bus to come.

1ST CUB: (Suddenly grabs his chest and falls down on the ground.)

(All others gather around him.)

2ND CUB: Looks like he’s had a heart attack!

3RD CUB: Sure does. Does anybody know CPR?

2ND CUB: I do. I’m a Cub Scout.

(The 2 CUBS begin to do CPR. One pretends to do Rescue Breathing while the other pretends to do chest compressions.)

2ND CUB: (After a while) I’m getting tired. Let’s change positions.

3RD CUB: OK Ready? Let’s change.

(3rd Cub lies down on the floor; 1st Cub gets up and starts doing Rescue Breathing and the 2nd Cub starts doing chest compressions.)

Name Crazy Charlie
Action CAST: 4-5 inmates, jailer PROPS: none SETUP: The scene is set up as Crazy Charlie is being thrown in a jail. Prisoners are laying around the yard, killing time.

Someone calls out "37!" and the inmates burst into laughter. Moments later "57!" is called out and more laughter results. Crazy Charlie asks the guy next to him what is going on. He is told that they have been together so long that everyone knows each others jokes so well that they have numbered the jokes to save time.

After a while Charlie decides to give it a trial and calls "52!", but no one laughs; there is complete silence. Charlie asks his friend what is wrong. His friend tells him not to worry, that there isn't anything wrong. "Some people can tell jokes and some people can't."

Name CRAZY COLLECTING
Action Actors pantomime the different types of collectors as the narrator introduces each one. The narrator may start with something like this:

NARRATOR: Everyone collects things. You collect things, I collect things. Let’s take a look at some things other people collect. (Samples of collectors you might pantomime)

A mother collects dirt (mother in housework clothes mops across stage)

A coin collector collects coins (bank robber crosses stage with sack of coins looking around nervously for The Law)

Dogs are among the greatest collectors. They collect FLEAS (actor dressed as dog rolls across stage scratching)

Now, teachers, they collect papers, of course (harried teacher runs across with reams of paper spilling out on all sides)

(These are some ideas. You add other "collectors.")

End with: The greatest collector of them all (An actor staggers across the stage loaded down with everything from soup to nuts, literally! He can be carrying a washing machine part and dragging a car fender. Let your imagination go! A big sign on him reads: "Junk Man.")

Name Crazy News Flashes
Action CAST: 2 or 3 news announcers PROPS: Can stand or sit on stools. SETUP: News announcers alternate reading news stories. Alternately, may be done as individual walk-ons between skits and songs.

Today, Lady Blenkinsop Smythe, laid a foundation stone. Both are said to be doing well, and resting comfortably.

A lorry (truck) load of artificial hair has just overturned on the motorway. The police are combing the countryside.

This afternoon, two girl scouts, went for a tramp in the woods. The tramp got away.

A hundred dollar bill has just been found on the campsite. Will the owner please form an orderly queue outside the mess tent to claim it.

Doctors have just discovered, that people with hairs starting to grow on the palms of their hands are going mad. (PAUSE.) They also tell us that people looking for hairs on the palms of their hands are already mad.

Today thieves broke into the local police station and stole fifty pairs of trousers. The police are looking pretty silly.

Yesterday a chicken swallowed a YoYo. It laid the same egg seventy-five times.

Here is a late railway announcement. The train now arriving at platforms 5, 6, 7 and 8 is coming in sideways.

Will the man who has just left the train standing on platform 5. Please come and collect it as we have enough of our own.

The wind was blowing so hard yesterday that a chicken laid the same egg 5 times.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators for 3 hours.

A rabbit was spotted in the woods yesterday, standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

Today a boy scout slipped on the ice and hurt his ankle. A little old lady had to help him across the street.

A 747 airplane recently crashed in a cemetery. Government officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.

<name> announced his new invention today. It's a solar-powered flashlight.

Congress announced we're giving the Lower Slabovians 10,000 septic tanks. As soon as they learn to drive them they're going to invade Russia.

The Crew of the next space shuttle will be monitoring about 25 milk cows up in space to see how they react to no gravity. It will be "The first herd shot round the world.."

It was reported today that <name> died today raking leaves, when he fell out of the tree.

Sadly, <name> died today while drinking milk. The cow fell on him.

Name CUBNAC
Action The following are answers and questions to be used in a Cubnac presentation. A Cub can dress up in a turban and cape and reads the answer and then the question. Have two Cubs one dressed as above giving the question part and one giving him the answer first.

Dances with Wolves What would you call a Den Leader who square dances with her den?

I Can Bear No More What does a new Webelos Scout say?

Bobcat What would you call Robert Cat if you were a close friend?

Webelos What would a group of older Cub Scouts say if they didn't know where they were?

Bear, Aaron, Wells Fargo Name a rank, a Hank, and a Bank.

Rankled What happens to patches on your uniform after washing?

Arrow of Light What would you call 20 candles in a straight line?

Tiger Paws Describe a Tiger Cub taking a nap.

Name Cub Cookout
Action Characters: Several Cubs around fake campfire pretending to cook hot dogs on sticks. Two Cubs dressed as mosquitos--antennae, wings etc.

Setting: Boys around fire keep slapping as if they are being attacked by mosquitos throughout the skit. As the scene opens, the two mosquitos enter the stage and continue walking randomly around the boys as they deliver their lines.

Mosquito #1: Hey, I got a good one! Which sport do we mosquitos like best?

Mosquito #2: Easy! Skin diving. Say, did you hear what the Cub Scout said to the mosquito.

Mosquito #1: No, what?

Mosquito #2: Don't bug me!

Mosquito #1: Are you related to any of the bugs around here?

Mosquito #2: Sure. My ant.

Mosquito #1: Did you hear what the mother grasshopper said to her children?

Mosquito #2: No -- tell me.

Mosquito #1: Hop to it!

Cub #1: These mosquitos are awful! Lucky I brought the insect repellant. (Pretends to spray air.) (Mosquitos exit quickly -- choking and gagging.)

Cub #2: (To cub #1) Say, what has 18 feet, red eyes, and long claws.

Cub #1: I don't know.

Cub #2: Neither do I, but it's crawling up your neck.

(All boys run screaming from stage.)

Name Cub Olympics
Action Characters: TV reporter, 4 Cub athletes getting ready for the Cub Olympics.

Props: Frisbee for discuss, pile for javelin, bag of cookies, toothbrush and basin of water on stand, fake mike for reporter (can be dressed in suit jacket and have ID for his station on his lapel in large letters)

TV reporter: We're here today to interview the athletes at Pack _____ as they prepare for the challenge of this years Cub Olympics. As you can imagine, it takes months of training and hard work to get these athletes ready to compete. Let's see how they are preparing themselves for the big competition. (turns to Cub #1 with microphone) Tell me, how are you getting ready for your event in the Olympics?

Cub #1: I'm practicing my throw for the discus event. (demonstrates how to throw discus using frisbee)

TV reporter: Great form! (turns to Cub #2) and you -- can you tell us how you are preparing to compete?

Cub #2: I'm polishing my javelin for the javelin throw (polishes pole with a rag.)

TV reporter: Good luck! (turns to Cub #3) What are you doing today?

Cub #3: I'm practicing for the standing broad jump. (does a couple of practice jumps)

TV reporter: Fine! (turns to Cub #4) And what are you doing to train for the Olympics?

Cub #4: I'm brushing my teeth! (uses basin of water and toothbrush --pretends to brush teeth)

TV reporter: Brushing your teeth! What Olympic event could you possibly be training for?

Cub #4: I'm training for the International Olympic Cookie - Eating event! (pulls out bag of cookies and stuffs some in his mouth.)

Name Cub Scout Socks
Action Characters: Den leader, 3 Cub Scouts

Props: A pile of socks on a table. Den leader sits behind table.

Den leader: Boys, I'm pleased to announce that our new Cub Scout socks have arrived! Please step up for your supply of clean socks.

Cub #1: I need four pair.

Den leader: What do you need 4 pair for?

Cub #1: I need them for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.

Den leader: O.K. Here are your socks. Next please.

Cub #2: I need seven pair.

Den leader: What do you need seven pair for?

Cub #2: For Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Den leader: O.K. here are your socks.

Cub #3: I need 12 pairs.

Den leader: Wow, you must really be a clean guy! So why do you need 12 pair?

Cub #3: Well, there's January, February,

Name Cub Shop
Action 4 Shoppers, Storekeeper, Kid (in underwear, or nightgown), full uniform Setting: Store

#1: I'd like to buy the Cub Shirt.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please.

(You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't have it!") (Comes back with a shirt.)

#2: I'd like to buy the accessories to the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please.

(You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with accessories.)

#3: I'd like to buy the pants to go with the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please.

(You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with pants.)

#4: I'd like to buy the right kind of shoes for the Cub Uniform.

Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please.

(You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with shoes.)

Kid: (Comes running out in underwear/swim suit) How am I supposed to go to Cubs without my uniform?

Name C.P.R.
Action The first Scout comes out walking around, he suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. Two other scouts come in talking about just completing their first aid merit badge and find the scout on the ground. They rush to his aid and begin C.P.R.. Adjust head, listen, feel for pulse and then begin (fake) compressions. The other scout counts. After about 3 sets, the other scout yells "switch". Suddenly the scout on the ground gets up, one of the two scouts lies down, and they begin again to administer C.P.R.
Name Dad's Tools
Action Characters: Narrator, Dad, Mom, Cub Scout

Narrator: As our plan begins, Dad is looking for his hammer...

Dad: Has anyone seen my hammer?

Mom: No dear, did you look in your toolbox?

Dad: It's not there. No one ever puts anything back where it belongs around here.

Cub Scout: Look, Dad. I found it. It's over here behind the door where you used it to fix the loose door hinges.

Dad: Now, where is my saw?

Mom: It should be on your workbench.

Dad: Well, it's not there. No one ever puts my tools away.

Cub Scout: Dad, don't you remember? You left it out by the garage when you were sawing those boards to build my clubhouse.

Dad: Good grief! Now where is my file?

Cub Scout: Oh, that's out in the yard where you used it to sharpen the lawn mower blade.

Dad: I can't find my screwdriver now, and I just had it! Did you use it, son?

Cub Scout: Yes, Dad. And here it is in the toolbox - right where I put it when I finished with it.

Dad: Oh! I never thought of looking for it there!

Name Damn! (or should I say Darn?)
Action Cast: Director, 2 Workers, Cameraman, Clapperman, Light Man, Soap

Setting: On the Setting of a Movie

Director: Okay, people! Remember what I said about the language! Action!

Clapperman: Scene 5, Take 1!

Worker 1: (Eating lunch with #2) You know, Gerry, the wife is always nagging me for some more money. And I just don't have it.

Gerry: I know what you mean. The (DARN) kids are always ...

Director: Cut! What did I say about the language? You know the rules ... soap in the mouth. (Pantomime director washing out Gerry's mouth with soap.) Okay, let's try that one again. And watch the language!

Continues the same way, but each time something happens where a different person says "Darn" -- clapperman gets fingers caught in clapper (don't do the whole scene over again, of course,) cameraman trips while filming, light person drops light, #1 says "the darn wife ..." Finally, the director is about to start the scene again when he looks at his watch.

Director: Oh darn. Look at the time ...

Cast Crew: Cut! You know the rules ... (Pantomime washing out mouth with soap)

Name Dancing Knee Dolls
Action Paint faces on the knees of the performers. Use dresses (or pants and shirt) to dress the legs as dolls with the arms bulging out. The clothes can be made out of crepe paper, cloth, or real clothing. Cover the upper legs and body with a sheet. Direct a flashlight (spot) onto each knee.
Name DARING SAILORMEN
Action CHARACTERS: 10 SAILORS (the play opens with the 1st settler on stage)

(A NARRATOR reads the verses aloud while the SAILORS perform actions quickly and briefly.)

NARRATOR: One daring sailorman sailed the ocean blue (a player marches on-stage, faces audience, steers ship) Along came a friend of his and so there were two! (second player enters, they exchange greetings, stand alongside each other)

Two daring sailormen sailed the stormy sea (both steer at wheel while holding tight and swaying) They called and called for extra help and so there were three! (as they call with cupped hands a third player joins them)

Three daring sailormen stepped upon the shore (players step forward, march in place) And when the three stepped back again, the three had turned to four! (as the three step back to original positions a fourth player joins them)

Four daring sailormen did a fancy dive (they make diving motions) They looked so fine and fancy that soon there were five! (fifth player enters, looks in admiration, joins them)

Five daring sailormen fished with crooked sticks (they pretend to fish) Their dinner was so tasty, very soon there were six! (as they pretend to eat a sixth player joins them)

Six daring sailormen opened up a door (they face wing and pretend to open doors) In jumped another friend, so there was one more! (seventh player jumps in)

Seven daring sailormen all began to skate (all pretend to skate) It looked so much like lots of fun that their number came to eight! (eighth player skates on stage)

Eight daring sailormen all stood in a line (they line up at attention) And before they knew it, the line had stretched to nine. (ninth player quickly enters to join end of line)

Nine daring sailormen wondered where they’d been (they shade eyes with hands and gaze outward) Someone came to tell them, and that made ten! (tenth player enters, gestures outward)

Ten daring sailormen all went swimming for fun (all make swimming movements) And so they swam and swam and swam, until at last there were none! (they swim offstage)

Lancaster Lebanon Council Pow Wow Guide 1990

Name DAVY CROCKETT SKIT
Action Characters: Announcer, 6 Cub Scouts in Davy Crockett costumes; 7th Cub in dress clothes and wearing a coon skin cap.

Announcer: Tonight we bring you the story of a famous American, Davy Crockett - a brave and powerful man. Raised in the woods of green Tennessee, he soon learned to know and name every tree.

Cub 1: He learned to know the critters, from the Possum to the Bear, wait until you hear what he did with just a stare!

Cub 2: He scared a coon right out of a tree with just a grin and a big old stare. He tried it on a bear, but the bear wouldn't scare, so he challenged him to a fist fight and won him fair and square!

Cub 3: A streak of lightning Davy mounted; all the stars he named and counted. He caught the tail of a passing comet, and put a piece of sunrise in his pocket.

Cub 4: Davy was caught between a panther and a bear, so you see he couldn't use just a simple little stare. He aimed "Old Betsy" at a rock between the two - the bullet split that rock and left a trail of blazing blue. One piece of rock killed the panther, the other demolished the bear. A mighty combination - "Old Betsy" and Davy's stare!

Cub 5: Davy was a fighter honest, brave and true; but fighting, it was told to me, always made him blue. A treaty was signed. Davy helped make the peace. And in that land, fighting did cease.

Cub 6: This is a fine country. It's worth fighting for. Guess I'll head for the fort called Alamo, where the Texans are fighting for liberty.

Announcer: Folks liked Davy's way of doing things. They thought Davy ought to be a congressman and help run the country., The critters seemed to think so too. Even the crickets all chirped, "Crockett for Congress! Crockett for Congress!" In the nation's capitol, Congressman Crockett made this speech:

Cub 7: I'm Davy Crockett, fresh from the backwoods. I'm half horse, half alligator, and a little bit tetched with snappin' turtle. I got the fastest horse, the prettiest sister, the surest rifle, and the ugliest dog in Tennessee.

ALL BOYS: SING "DAVY CROCKETT"

Name Did You Have V-8?
Action Cast: Weakling, three or four Thugs, Old Lady, Director, Cameraman

Setting: Street Corner Set in a Studio

Weakling: Hi there. I'm advertising the great effects this wonderful vegetable cocktail, V-8, has on your stamina. You, Sir. (To a tough looking thug.) Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug: Duh, no. Real men don't drink V-8.

Weakling: Sure they do. Watch! (He beats up thug.) See? I had my V-8 today!

You Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug 2: (Has crowbar) No, I don't need it!

Weakling: Sure you do. (He beats up thug.) You can tell I do! And you Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?

Thug 3: Ask me again and I'll beat you up.

Weakling: Heh, heh. Did you have your V-8 today? (Thug tries to beat him up, but weakling takes care of him no problem.) So you see, having your V-8 is great for you.

An old lady walks in; weakling looks puzzled, whispers to director saying he hadn't heard about an old lady in the script; director says to go on and ask her anyway.

Weakling: Excuse me, Ma'am. Did you have your V-8 today?

Old lady: As a matter of fact, young man, I did -- and I'll prove it! (She beats him up.)

Name Did You See That?
Action Stanley, in a strong European accent "Hello there, I am Arthur Stanley Livingstone, the world famous ornithoptitologist! (That means I watch birds, you know.) And this is my nephew and assistant, Todd. Say hello Todd."

Todd, not really paying attention "H'lo"

Stanley "We are here today on location in the midst of the African rain forest, and we should see some very rare birds indeed! I can hardly contain myself. Right Todd?

Todd "Oh. Uh, yeah."

Stanley slowly, carefully stalks along, looking around, listening for the slightest peep. Todd shuffles after him.

Stanley, turning around, staring with wide open eyes for a second, then jumping up and down "Did you see that!! Did you see that!!"

Todd "Er, what"

Stanley "You mean you missed it?"

Todd, pauses a second, then admits it "uh, yeah"

Stanley "Well! My word. Todd, that was a very rare bird, the Oohweeoo-plit-plit-plit-awaah. And you missed it. It's named after it's call, you know."

Todd "Mmm, what's it sound like?"

Stanley, after a suspensful pause "peep!"

Stanley continues his slow stalking and looking around, Todd follows after him.

Stanley, stopping and looking up wide-eyed. Todd actually walks into him. "Did you see that!! Did you see that!!!"

Todd "Er, um, well"

Stanley, somewhat cross "Well?"

Todd "No."

Stanley, after a long sigh "Now that, my dear boy, was an Ooh-aah bird. Have you heard of the ooh-aah bird?"

Todd "No"

Stanley"The Ooh-ahh bird, Todd, is a three-pound bird that lays a four-pound egg." Pantomiming the egg-laying process "Oooooooooooh .. ahhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Stanley and Todd continue their pacing about the stage

Stanley, turning around and yelling at Todd "Did you see that!! Did you see that!!!"

Todd, deciding to be clever "Er, um, ah, yes! Yes, I did see that!"

Stanley "Then why in the blazes did you step in it?"

Name Dinner Special
Action Characters: two customers, waiter. Let actors develop actions and dialogue from the situation

Props: table with tablecloth, candles, menus, etc. Most important - a storybook

Two customers enter a fancy seafood restaurant, study the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders

One customer orders shrimp, the second says, "I'd like a lobster tail, please."

Waiter says appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two but face audience and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster...."

Name Dirty Socks
Action 4 scouts, One large can (Billy can or gallon can) with water placed in the center of the stage.

About a 5 on the Gross chart.

1st scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )

" THIS CAMP COFFEE IS GETTING WORSE! "

2nd scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )

" THIS CAMP TEA IS GETTING WORSE! "

3rd scout (Walks to billy carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink. )

" THIS CAMP CHOCOLATE IS GETTING WORSE! "

4th scout (Walks to billy, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he says. )

"I THOUGHT THAT WOULD GET THEM CLEAN!"

Note: (from author)

In England we have nesting sets of aluminium cooking pots with a steel wire handle. They look like a small straight sided bucket or paint pot. These are called Billys or Billycans. We also have larger cast iron or steel cooking pots usually oval in shape. Most of these are army surplus and are known as Dixies.

Name Disappearing Pop
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: can of pop, empty; table or stand SETUP:

The first person walks in with a can of pop, open and ready to drink it. He sets it down and moves away a little as a second person comes by and starts to talk with him. A third person walks by from the other direction, sees the pop can sitting there and guzzles it, leaving the empty. The first person returns to the pop can, looks at the empty can with a puzzled look on his face, shrugs his shoulders, and then burps as loudly as he can.

Name DISCOVER AMERICA
Action (Fractured History Tale)

CAST: LOUWEEGEE CHRISTO ANTONIO GENO NAVIGATOR MARIO LOUIE (all in sailor costumes) INDIAN (In appropriate costume.)

PROPS: Table Boats, if desired

NARRATOR: Scene 1. Christopher Columbus and his sailors are standing by their ship talking.

LOUWEEGEE: Hey Christopher, I hear you are going on a trip.

CHRISTO: How many times do I have to tell you Louweegee, I did not trip!

LOUWEEGEE: No, no. I mean in the boat.

CHRISTO: Yea. We’re going to saaa-ail away.

ANTONIO: We ‘re gonna take three boats.

GENO: We’re takin’ the Nina, the Pinta and the Watchamacallit.

CHRISTO: I wish you would stop calling the Santa Maria the Watchamacallit. She’s my fastest boat.

NARRATOR: Scene 2. Christopher Columbus and his crew are aboard their ships and are now on their journey.

GENO: How long is it going to take, this cruise, navigator?

NAVIGATOR: It’s going to take one, two, three … maybe more.

MARIO: Only one, two or three days?

ANTONIO: Mario, he means months!

(All the crew stand around looking at the map)

LOUWEEGEE: Where did you say we were going?

CHRISTO: We’re trying to find a short cut to India … there we can get rich fast!

NAVIGATOR: (Pointing to map and tracing line across it) See, we can go this way.

ANTONIO: How do you get east when your going west?

LOUIE the LOOKOUT: You wanna fall off the world?

NARRATOR: Scene 3. It is now several months later with the discouraged crew still aboard ship. Shading his eyes with his band, one sailor suddenly shouts excitedly.

ANTONIO: There’s some ground!

NAVIGATOR: That’s "Land-Ho," your supposed to yell.

LOUIE the LOOKOUT: Where! Where! I don’t see anything.

GENO: Louie, why don’t you turn that glass the right way?

(All shade their eyes and watch the same direction. One of the crew points at something and says:)

MARIO: Look! There’s one peoples!

(Indian walks slowly out from side stage. Approaches ship. He raises hand in salute, palm out, and says:)

INDIAN: How! Me America.

(All the sailors jump up and down, throw their caps in the air and shout)

All: Hooray! Hooray! We discovered America!!

Name Doctor's Office:
Action First patient comes in hiccuping and asks to see the doctor. The second patient comes in cross-eyed, with a silly look on his face. The third person can't control his muscles and is all jittery. They are all asked to sit down. The first person is asked to go in. There is a real commotion and the patient comes out fine. The same thing happens to the second and third patients. The nurse tells the doctor it is time to go home. The doctor emerges with the symptoms of all his patients and goes offstage.
Name Doggie Doctor
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: chair, notepad pencil SETUP: A person comes to a psychologist and says that he needs help. The patient thinks that he is a dog.

[The patient is holding up his hands like a dog begging. Throughout the skit the person acting like a dog, scratching behind his ear, whining, panting with tongue out, etc.]

Doctor: "How long have you had this problem."

Patient: "Ever since I was a puppy."

Doctor: "Would you please lie down on the couch?"

Patient: "I'm not allowed to get up on the furniture."

Doctor: "Why haven't you seen a doctor sooner?"

Patient: "My family liked having me fetch the paper every day for them."

[Doctor's advice is to make sure that he gets all his shots and don't go chasing any cars.]

Name Doggie Doo
Action Cast: Two friends, doggie doo

Setting: Street

Two friends are walking along the street, perhaps having a conversation about something, talking about a movie or the latest hockey scores, when all of a sudden --

John: Hey Frank! Watch out! That may be doggie doo! Smell it to see if it smells like doggie doo!

Frank: (Smells it) Yep! Smells like doggie doo!

John: Touch it to see if it feels like doggie doo!

Frank: (Touches it) Yep! Feels like doggie doo!

John: Taste it to see if it tastes like doggie doo!

Frank: (Tastes it) Yep! Tastes like doggie doo!

John: Well! It's a good thing we checked and didn't walk in it!

Name Donkey
Action Campfire leader announces that due to a shortage of food we need to pray for a donkey, Kneels down and starts praying…

O Lord give us a donkey

O Lord give us a donkey

O Lord give us a donkey

A that point he decide that he is not loud enough and needs some help (Pull some people out of audience and repeat). (Repeat until happy you have enough people) Then turn to you Asst. and say "any donkeys" he replies "no but we've got a lot of saps"

Andy and myself have used this sketch a few times and it so far has always gone down well.

Name Earwash
Action Patrol of scouts line up facing audience. One announces that this is the Earwash Skit. Scout at end of the line drinks a glass of water. He puts his hands on his ears and shakes his head. Then he pretends to spit the water into the ear of the scout next to him. Repeat this process until the Scout at the end of the line shakes his head. This Scout spits out some water onto the ground.

This requires a scout who can hold water in his mouth and not be noticed.

Name Easter Bunny:
Action The Easter Bunny is out delivering his eggs and the police arrest him for breaking and entering a house. The police don't believe that he is the Easter Bunny, but finally decide to believe him and let him go. He decides to finish delivering and tries to enter another house where an old lady or man accuses him of stealing. The Bunny says, "Oh no, not again!" and is run off the stage by the old lady swinging a stick or umbrella.
Name Eat That Food
Action This very straightforward skit requires a lot of some sort of food (biscuits, marshmallows, or bananas are good), and volunteers. Contestants bet how long it would take them to eat ten marshmallows. Whoever bets lowest actually has to do it in that period of time.

"I can eat ten marshmallows in twenty seconds."

"I can do it in ten."

"I can do it in five."

"Eat that food!"

Name Echo (Baloney 1)
Action The club leader announces during the singing that he has noticed an echo in the room and he is going to try it out (also could be on a hike overlooking a canyon). The following is a dialogue between the leader and the echo - a person out of the room or out of sight.

Leader: Hello

Echo: Hello

Leader: Cheese

Echo: Cheese

Leader: Bologna

Echo: (silence)

Leader: (to group) It must not be working now. I'll try again. (to echo) + This leader is great.

Echo: Bologna

Name Echo (Baloney 2)
Action (Before the skit begins, one player hides a few feet into the woods behind the campfire circle, and plays the part of the ECHO.)

[PETER AND TIM enter]

PETER: Here we are, Tim, at the famous Echo Mountain. Why don't you give it a try?

TIM: Sure, might as well. [raises his voice] Hello!

ECHO: Helloooo.

PETER: That's fantastic! I'm gonna try it. [raises voice] Hi there.

ECHO: Hi there ....

[ROBIN and GARRY enter]

ROBIN: Hi, what are you guys up to?

TIM: We're trying out famous echo mountain. Shout something and hear it come back.

GARRY: OK, here I go. [raises voice] Baloney.

[Pause, waiting for ECHO, which does not come back]

ROBIN: Hmmm, it's not working. Let me try. [raises voice] Scouter John's a great guy!

ECHO: Baloney! [All exit quickly]

Name Echo (Baloney 3)
Action Once modified this to suit a space theme -- it was a tour around the galaxy to different planets, people traveled in a spaceship to get from planet to planet (a drawing of the USS Enterprise, no less,) and they went back to the starbase. But essential details of the dialogue, and of course, the joke itself, were exactly the same.

Cast: Guide, Tourists, Echo hidden in the bushes

Setting: A Tour of the Countryside

You might want to lengthen it a bit at first, to tell a more complete story, but for the sake of brevity, you might not.

Guide: (To tourist group) And this over here is the famous site where John Smith first discovered gold. Now if you'll follow me, we'll be going to Echo Point next. (Walks around a bit with group.) Here it is. What makes Echo Point so special is that whenever you call out the name of a food, it will echo three times. Listen. Yogurt! (Echo: "Yogurt! Yogurt! Yogurt!") See? Now, would anybody else like to try?

Tourist #1: I would. Banana! (Echo: "Banana! Banana! Banana!")

Tourist #2: Salad! (Echo: "Salad! Salad! Salad!") Hey! Neato!

Tourist #3: I want to try. Baloney! (Echo: "Baloney! Baloney!" -- ONLY TWICE!)

Guide: (After a pause,) That's strange -- it's never repeated a food only twice. Maybe we should wait a moment more. (Pause -- nothing happens.) I'm so embarrassed. Well, I guess we should go back to the base, where the food is so good!

Echo: Baloney!

Name Echo (It's about time)
Action A Scout enters the campfire area, walks around and collapses to the ground. He lays there seriously ill and dying. Soon another scout enters and finds the ill scout. He screams out: "There is someone lying here!" then the echo effect from outside of the campfire area. Soon the scout calls out, "I think he is ill!", echo effect. He continues, "I think he is very ill!" echo again. The Scout beginning to panic screams out "He is dying" with the echoes responding. Finally the scout calls out "He is Dead!". But this time the echoes respond in unison, "Its about time!"
Name Elevated Gum
Action CAST: 3-4 PROPS: none SETUP:

A boy enters chewing gum, walks around looking all over, finally sticks gum on the (imaginary) wall. A kid listening to rock roll on his portable stereo, dances in, leans on wall, hands sticks to gum. Tries hard to pull hand off the wall. The kid looks at the gum, stretches it, picks his nose, sneezes, etc.; all getting on the gum. Throws the gum back at the wall where it sticks. Dum, spacey, jock stereotype enter the elevator, leans on the back wall and the gum gets stuck to the following places: first head and wall, then head and hand, both hands, foot and both hands, both feet and hands, hands, knees, and hand to face. He finally gets free and sticks gum back on wall. First boy re-enters the scene after the Jock leaves, sees the gum and decides to chew it again; then leaves.

Name Emergency Room Doctor
Action The scene is an emergency room at a hospital. The Doctor is totally self absorbed, combing hair, looking in mirror etc. A guy runs in, a hiker with a branch stuck in his stomach. He is screaming in agony. the Doctor insists that he must ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient screams that he is losing blood. The doctor continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of house, how he got there etc. A phone rings and the Doctor is invited out to lunch. The Doctor runs off leaving the wounded man writhing on the floor. A stupid looking janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the branch out. The patient stands up, says thanks and leaves.
Name ENLARGING MACHINE
Action Hang a sheet or blanket in front of the audience. Announce the marvelous invention of an enlarging machine, and ask for objects to be enlarged. A stick is fed into the machine, out rolls a large log. Next, a rock is put in, and a boulder rolls out. A lady enters with a baby in her arms, stands next to the machine while searching in her purse, and accidentally drops her baby into the machine. Out runs a giant "baby" which has been previously dressed up and carries its mother offstage crying "MA MA!"
Name ERIC THE GREEN
Action Cast: 6 Cub Scouts playing T.V. Announcer, Cabin Boy, Crew Member, Ships Cook Leif Ericson, Eric the Red. (If you have more than 6 Cub Scouts they can be extra crew members.)

Scene: Takes place at ships landing in Greenland, where T.V. Announcer is waiting the arrival of the Vikings to interview them on the voyage.

T.V. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, through the magic of television and the 20th century, we are able to take you back in time to the landing of the Vikings, here in Greenland...the time is the 10th century...ah, here is a likely looking fellow now...(cabin boy in Viking dress walks on)...T.V. Announcer thrusts mike in front of him and says "welcome to Greenland, son, and how was your voyage?"

Cabin Boy: Terrible trip, worst I've ever seen...if you don't believe it ask Eric the Green! (He walks off stage.)

T.V. Announcer: Oh, that's too bad, but wait, I thought your Captains name was Eric the Red...hmmm, that's strange...well TV audience, here comes another member of the group. Sir, how was your trip to Greenland?

Crew Member: (Gives T.V. Announcer suspicious look) Terrible trip, worst I've ever seen...if you don't believe it, ask Eric the Green!

T.V. Announcer: There must be some mistake...all history books refer to the leader of the Norsemen as Eric the Red. This certainly is a mixed up crew. Well, here comes the ships cook...ah, sir, would you mind telling us your opinion of the voyage? (Ships cook walks on stage, gives him surly look...)

Ships Cook: Terrible trip, worst I've seen...if you don't believe it, ask Eric the Green! (He walks off stage.)

T.V. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, this is most puzzling...could it be that we are about to discover something new in history? Here comes the captains son, Leif Ericson...perhaps he can tell us something about this...Mr. Ericson, can you tell us something about your voyage?

Leif Ericson: (He walks on.)

Leif Ericson: Terrible trip, worst I've seen...if you don't believe it, ask Eric the Green! (He walks off stage.)

T.V. Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, there's only one man who can solve this mystery...and here he is now...(Eric the Red walks on stage...his face has green makeup on it and he clutches bottle marked SEA SICK PILLS...one hand holds his stomach.) Captain, captain, the world of television is awaiting your description of your exciting voyage to Greenland...!

Eric the Red: "I used to be known as Eric the Red...before this dreadful journey I led...it was terrible trip, the worst I've ever seen. Just call me sea sick...ERIC THE GREEN!...(T.V. Announcer throws up his hands and they both exit.)

Name Eskimo Pie
Action Scene: Group of Cub Scouts around a table.

Props: Ping pong ball, sponge, white golf tees, pan with ice cream bars in the bottom.

Cub 1: Isn't it great our leader is letting us make a pie for our den meeting treat?

Cub 2: Sure is. I don't know what kind of pie it is, but here are the directions.

Cub 3: Let's see, first you put in these walrus eyes.

Cub 4: Walrus eyes? Are you sure?

Cub 3: Says so right here. (Puts ping pong balls in pan.)

Cub 5: OK, next put in a pound of blubber.

Cub 4: A pound of blubber? Are you sure?

Cub 5: That's what it says in the recipe. (Puts in white sponges.)

Cub 6: The next thing to add are two dozen polar bear teeth.

Cub 4: I don't believe that. Why would you put teeth in a pie?

Cub 3: Hey, you have to have teeth to eat a pie!

Cub 4: Oh yeah, go ahead.

Cub 6: Here go the teeth. (Puts in golf tees.)

Cub 1: Now we let it freeze for one hour. (Put lid on pan.)

Cub 2: (Hold up sign that says "one hour later".)

Cub 1: Let's see what we've got. (Uncovers pot.)

All: (Look into pan and exclaim.) Eskimo pies!!!! (Pull out ice cream bars, open and eat.)

Name The Failed Reporter
Action "I'm a reporter. I have been for 12 years. And in all that time, I've never had a real scoop. Never. I'm a failure. I've done this long enough, so now I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself. One, two, ..."

"Wait! Wait! Why are you jumping?"

"I'm a failed reporter. I've never had a real scoop."

"Oh. You think you have it bad, I'm a truck driver, and I've got hemmorroids. I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."

"Wait! What are you all doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Oh, I'm a grade school teacher. I just realized that I can't stand whiney little kids. I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."

"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Well I'm a florist, and I've got hayfever." sneeze! "I think I'll join you."

"One, two, ..."

"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "I'm a dentist, hic and I've had the hiccups for the last hic five years. Would you like a tooth removed hic?" He holds one of those pointy dentist things, and each time he hics his hands jerk around "No!" "Then I think I'll hic join you."

"One! Two! Three!!!" They all jump, except for the reporter.

"Four people jump to their grisly deaths! What a scoop!" He runs offstage, scribbling furiously on his notepad.

Name Father Ted on Camp
Action Father Ted and Father Dougle sat on stage with a MSR Stove between with a pot on it. Behind Father Jack is a sleep in a sleeping bag.

Father Dougle: What's this red thing here then Ted?

Father Ted: It's a cooker.

FD: What does that do then?

FT: it cooks, that's why it's called a cooker.

(Dougle picks up pot)

FD: The pot, it's bubbling, Ted.

FT: it's boiling Dougle, make sure you don't touch it.

(Dougle carefully puts down the pot)

FD: Okay Ted! (Looks at hands and screams)

(Father Jack sits up suddenly)

FJ: LEGS! Where's me legs?

FT: You're in a Sleeping bag father Jack!

(Jack pass out, back to sleep)

(Mrs Doyle enters from the Side)

Mrs Doyle: Would you like a cup of tea fathers?

FT and FD: No thanks! Were okay.

Mrs D: ah go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.

FT: No thanks Mrs Doyle.

Mrs D: ah go on, just a little cup of team.

FT: Go on then Mrs Doyle.

Mrs D: No if you don't want it, I'll take to the sub camp office, they'll want some.

(Mrs Doyle walks off)

(Enter Matt from the Sub camp team singing his annoying song)

Matt: Scarr, Scarr, Scarr, tell them who we are, S C A R R, Scarr Scarr Scarr.

FJ: Music. AHH

(Jack jumps up and strangles Matt)

Father Dougle (to Ted): Time for our Activities, Ted.

Written: By the 1st Douglas Scouts at Lough Dan'97 in Ireland

From: Lough Dan Talent Show, Roundwood, Ireland, 1997

Name Firebuilding
Action When we entered the campfire theater the first four scouts walked in with large cans filled only with torn up news paper. The Staff immediately noticed and gave us their attention. One or two came over to see what was up. We let them examine the cans and they found only paper. As everyone was seated, the leaders delivered additional cans, these had water balloons covered with paper. I even threw some paper in the air as we delivered the cans. During the other skits, I sat down with staff carrying a dummy can and left it there. Now for the skit:

Have four volunteers stand across from each other with arms on shoulders making a square. The Next four volunteers bend over with their rears pushed out and their arms around the waist of the four who are standing. The Next four get behind the knees of the four bent over, on all fours. The announcer continues to talk about fire lays and the importance of building a great fire lay. Ham this up and joke about the funny logs the scouts have brought for the fire lay. With everything in place, the announcer reminds all of fire safety and that you must always put out the fire when you are finished. ( at this point the senior staff member was heard assuring the others, no fear, its only paper)The Staff was then properly "put out"! It was a great sales job, and worked so well.

Best skit and Best con at summer camp.--

-- Thanks to Merl Whitebook, Troop 1, Tulsa, Okla.

Name Fire Drill
Action Through the meeting or campfire, different people run through with some container (cups, buckets, cans, etc). Eventually the MC stops one of them and asks what's going on to which the reply is "your tent (car, house whatever) is on fire". Now when we do it we add a great deal to it depending on the location setting etc. The water carriers ham it up by making it look like a real effort or something very serious. The MC makes some comment to the audience each time one runs through including things like requesting a cup of coffee the next time someone runs through. Sometimes we have people "offstage" cheering the runner through. And sometimes we change the "punch line". Like MC: where's the fire?, runner: there's no fire, so so is thirsty, at which time someone walks across with a cup and wiping their mouth saying ahhhhhhh. I think you can get the idea from there.

-- Thanks to Hank Heine:

Name Fish
Action Scout walks on stage carrying a fishing pole.

Boy 1: Did you catch anything?

Boy 2: Yes.

Boy 1: How big was it?

Boy 2: It was THIS BIG. (Build up speech volume on THIS while spreading hands farther apart. On BIG, suddenly bring hands to about 6 or 7 inches apart).

Name Fishing
Action (The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)

Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.

Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore. Ready to start fishing ?

Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me. (Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start fishing. Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and catch more. Continue for several casts.)

Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.

Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit.. better get back.

Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)

Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?

Andrew: Nope.

Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?

Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both row away quickly)

Name Fishing for Suckers
Action Centre stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the

lad.

Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"

Fisher: "I`m fishing, what does it look as though I`m doing?"

Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."

Fisher: "I`m fishing for suckers."

Passer by: "Have you caught any?"

Fisher: "Yes you`re the third today"

Name Fishing on a Park Bench
Action Three guys are sitting on a park bench.

Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake (jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish.

Policeman comes in and watches them.

Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men.

Goober says they are his friends.

The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends.

Goober says okay and asks the others to climb into his boat.

The policeman ask Goober what he is doing: Goober says: "Somebody has to row the boat" pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).

Name Fishing Success
Action Five or six fishermen sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their lines. One fisherman is catching all the fish: the others have no luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fisherman why he's doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth, and nobody can tell what he is saying. The other fisherman get more irritated. After each question, the fisherman catches another fish, bigger than the last. (ham this up) The other gripe and protest. When the last person asks the question, the successful fisherman sighs, spits into his hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm."
Name Fish Market
Action CAST: Narrator, 2 actors PROPS: rope or cord SETUP: Two people, one a fisherman and the other a fish market manager come on and hold a long cord between them.

The fish market manager attempts to call the fisherman on the telephone to see if he has any fish today, and the fisherman acts as if he can't hear him.

Narrator explains the phone line must be drooping to close to the ground, so 'Volunteers' are brought out of the audience one or two at a time to hold the cord between the fish market and the fisherman. The fish market man attempts to call each time. When several people are holding the line, the market man is able to communicate with the fisherman.

The fisherman says that he doesn't have any trout but he does have a lot of suckers hanging on the line.

Name FISH SKIT
Action Characters: 2 fishermen, little boy. All three have a stick with a short string on it as a fishing rod. One has mouth full of gummy worms if you have them.

Scene: Two boys with "fishing rods" are standing together fishing through the ice. The rods hang without moving, as the boys are not catching anything.

Boy 1: Boy, am I cold. I don't know how I let you talk me into coming out in the middle of the night to go ice fishing. My feet are frozen to the ice, my nose is running, my ears are like ice, and I haven't even had a bite.

Boy 2: Knock it off! This is a great spot! Just wait till we catch a few.

(Boys stand a few seconds with no bites.)

Boy 1: It's 2:00 AM and we still haven't had a bite. I think my right ear just fell off.

Boy 2: Stop complaining! Soon they'll start biting; just wait.

Boy 1: (after a short wait) 3:00AM and still no bites! My other ear just fell off.

Boy 2: Wait! Wait!

Boy 1: Talk louder, my ears fell off.

Boy 2: Cut that out!!!

(Another boy walks onto the stage at some distance from the other two. He begins to fish, and catches one after another.)

Boy 1: It's 4:00 AM; my toes just fell off. I have to go to the bathroom, but I can't afford to have anything else fall off. We still haven't had a single bite. (Watches as the new boy catch more fish.) Say Charlie, that kid over there. (points) Look at all the fish he's getting!

Boy 2: Wow I wonder how he does it? (raises his voice) HEY-KID!

Boy 3: MMMMMMMM

Boy 2: You're catching fish over there, aren't you?

Boy 3: UMMM HUMM. (Nods his head and catches another fish.)

Boy 2: You got more than ten-don't you?

Boy 3: MMMMMMMMMM (Nods his head.)

Boy 2: How do you do it? We've been fishing here for hours without a bite, while you get them one after the other.

Boy 3: MMM MMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM

Boy 2: What?

Boy 3: MMMMM MMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMM

Boy 2: I can't hear you.

Boy 3: MMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMM

Boy 2: I don't understand you! What are you trying to say?

Boy 3: (Loudly spits a large something into his hand.) YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!!! (Puts the worms back in his mouth.)

Name Flasher
Action One member seems to be wearing nothing but an overcoat in front of the campfire. As each scout approached him, he would (with his back turned to the audience) flash the "innocent" bystander. Each time that he flashed, the person would either be frightened off or else roll down a hill in uncontrolled hysterics. After his third victim he turned to the crowd and asked "Hey what's the deal?" Revealing that he was wearing shorts with a letter-sized photocopy of the face of the leader, camp director or the like. Once again showing that it's not always so hot to be popular
Name Flea
Action CAST: 4-5 boys PROPS: none SETUP: Several boys are standing in a line, waiting.

[First boy scratches, then second, and so on down the line. Last boy feels it, digs around in his clothes.]

Boy: "Oh, there you are Marvin! I've been looking all over for you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin." (boy acts as though Marvin has hopped away)

Boy: "You come back here, Marvin." (goes out into audience looking and touching people, finds something on someone.)

Boy: "There you are Marvin, you've got to stay here." (looks at pretend speck)

Boy: "Hey you aren't Marvin!" (puts it back into the audience)

Boy: "Oh, Marvin, where are you?"

Name Flora the Flea
Action Performer

(The performer is putting his trained flea Flora through all her tricks, explaining all her tricks as she does them. His eyes follow every flip, jump, etc. as she performs and lands back in his hand.

The he asks her to jump to the ceiling. His eyes lose her and she doesn't return. He looks high and low (perhaps with the help of a friend) but can't find her. Finally he looks in someone's hair.)

Performer: (Delighted) Flora! There you are! I'm so glad to have you back.

(looks more closely.) But say ... this isn't Flora!

Alternate Ending ...

(When Flora has done all her tricks,)

Performer: Let's hear a big round of applause for Flora! (Begins to clap, then stops, horrified, realizing what he's done.)

Name Flying High:
Action Boys on a flight to Germany or other destination. They act up and really give the stewardess or steward (den leader, 11 year old patrol leader etc.) a hard time. Finally, one of them bumps into her/him and knocks a tray on him/her. The steward/stewardess smiles and says, "Why don't you boys just run outside and play."
Name Fly in the Soup
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: Set for customer, if available. SETUP: Waiter enters, puts down bowl of soup on the table and begins to leave. Customer picks up spoon and starts to dip it into soup.

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: (Returns, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.

Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top!

Waiter: (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.

Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian fly!

Waiter: Why do you say that sir?

Customer: BECAUSE NOW IT'S DOWN UNDER!

Name Food, Water and Mirror on the Sahara
Action 2 or 3 People, cup of water, combs, Narrator Setting: Sahara Desert

Narrator: Here are some poor, thirsty men on the desert who've been stranded on the desert for days. Let's watch.

(Two or three people are crawling, calling out for water. Time to really ham it up. Finally, they see the cup of water and stagger for it, reaching out. Finally, they get to the water and,)

People: Ahhhh! (Relieved-they take out combs, dip them in water and begin to comb hair.)

Name Foreign Exchange Student
Action Equipment: 4 scouts, Sticks
Preparation: 1 scout is the exchange student who cannot speak english another is his teacher and the other two are bullies with sticks.

Action: The teacher teaches student his new word which is "yes" after a while of getting to pronounce it he goes off into the real world. he is confronted by bullies who ask him "Do you wanna get pounded?" The student polietly answers "Yes!" the bullies ask "Are you sure?" The student again replys "Yes!" The bullies then beat him up with the sticks. He goes back to his teacher who teaches him to say "no" again he learns the word and goes into the real world. he is again confronted by the bullies who ask him "have you had enough yet?" The student polietly answers "No!" Again the bullies beat him up. Upon returning to his teacher he is taught to say "Maybe" He learns this and heads out again where he AGAIN confronts the bullies who ask him "You think you can take us?" He is hesitant to say anthing befroe replying "Yes!" "No!" "MAYBE!" he is once again pounced on.

Name Four Leaf Clover
Action A person finds a four leaf clover. He feels sure that it will bring him good luck. Another person runs into him. They accuse each other of running into each other. They start hitting each other. A policeman comes along, the other guy accuses the lucky person. The lucky person is hauled off to jail. The lucky person reappears, disgruntled and unhappy. Garbage is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined by a policeman for littering. The lucky man throws away the four leaf clover. Another finds it. The former lucky man comes back on stage. The person who found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a million dollars and has good luck since he found it. The former lucky man slumps down, groans, and begins to cry.
Name Fred the Trained Flea
Action "Here in my hand is Fred the Trained Flea. Fred will perform for you some amazing feats. Watch closely."

"Fred, do jumping jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!"

"Fred, do a somersault!"

"Fred, do a high jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down.

"Now Fred will do a long jump. I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a scoutmaster, or someone in authority.

"Fred, do a longjump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh! He seems to have jumped into your hair!"

Walk over to the volunteer, start picking through their hair. "Here we are .. no, that's not Fred." toss the flea over your shoulder "Ah! No, that's not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's not Fred either." "Boy, there's a lot of fleas in here." "Fred? Fred?" ...

Name Friends of Yours
Action CAST: 4 PROPS: bench SETUP: Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading. Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake, jumping off the bench and swimming around. Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling in fish after fish.

[A Policeman comes in and watches them for awhile.]

Policeman: (to Goober) "Hey, Mac, do you know these other two guys."

Goober: "Yes, officer, they're my friends. I brought them here for some fresh air." (looks knowingly at the officer)

Policeman: "I think you better take care of your friends. Take them home before they cause problems."

Goober: "Sure thing, officer." (to his friends) "Say, boys, climb into the boat."

[the others climb onto the bench and Goober pretends to row off stage.]

Name Gallagher
Action This is another skit well worth avoiding.

The basic idea is to get a wooden stump, a bunch of fruits and vegetables, and a very large mallet. You place each of the vegetables on the stump and hit them with the mallet, spraying bits of vegetables all over yourself and the audience. Tomatoes, watermelons, and squashes work fairly well. So does half-pint milk cartons. You want fairly explosive foods that don't stain clothes.

Botch didn't quite get thrown off camp staff for doing this.

Name Game Show
Action This skit starts out with a couple of scouts asking for some victims, er... volunteers, from the audience. The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the assistant scouts in charge of the 'Game Show'.

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two small tables are covered with sleeping bags, sheets or what ever you have handy. Balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables. The catch is that in-between the two tables a person is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets. This, of course, is well hidden by the sleeping bags. The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table. Don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc.

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.

Name game warden
Action A boy is sitting on the bake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign nearby. The game warden appears.

Fisherman: Are you the game warden.

Game warden: Yep!

Fisherman: Just teaching him how to swim (pointing to the worm on the pole)

Name Gathering of Nuts
Action CAST: Artist; from audience: 2 trees, 3 birds, 1 brook, 2 rabbits, 1 sun PROPS: none SETUP: Artist creates a 'living masterpiece'.

Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come here this evening at great expense to create one of my living nature paintings which will express the atmosphere of this camp! First I am going to need some trees.

[Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and are directed where to stand. They wave their arms gently.]

Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.

[Three birds are selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.]

Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on everything.

[A tall participant stands on a bench and smiles brightly.]

Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around.

[Assistant Leaders are chosen for rabbits, and hop around the scene.]

Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're always babbling?

[The brook takes his place laying down and babbles.]

Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature scene. I call it "The Gathering of the Nuts."

Name The Gathering of Nuts
Action The Gathering of the nuts - don't tell people the name of the skit. The narrator tells people that a bit of set up has to be done. Call the first few girls ( shills) up onto the stage and assign tasks ( you are a tree, rock, flower, pond etc.) Then tell people you are short girls in your unit and would like some volunteers from the audience. Put them in place as birds, animals giving them actions.

After you have assigned 5 or 6 jobs have one girl already on stage ask/say "You haven't told us what the skit is called" or words to that effect. The answer, yelled by all shills is "The gathering of the Nuts!!"

Name Gathering of the Nuts:
Action An announcer asks if the audience will help with the squirrel's harvest. Several boys dressed up like squirrels with paper ears, tails, and brown clothes go out into the audience bring back people known for their crazy behavior. They are gathered on the stage and the announcer says that the title of the skit will be, "The Gathering of the Nuts."
Name Ghostcatchers
Action Two guys start a ghost catching business. They go to this house and can't get rid of the ghost. The ghost finally leaves because one of the guys sings very badly and off key. The ghost can't stand it and leaves.
Name Ghost of the Bloody Fingers
Action JOHN: [enters, goes to clerk] Good evening. I'd like a room for the night.

CLERK: I only have one room left, sir. It's on the third floor. Here's the key.

JOHN: [goes around the campfire 3 1/2 times, enters through imaginary door, lies down] Boy am I tired, I've gotta get some sleep.

GHOST: [enters, spooky voice] I'm the ghost of the bloody fingers. This is the room where I was killed. Get out of my bed.

JOHN: [screams, runs around campfire 3 1/2 times, exits]

SIMON: [enters, goes to clerk] Hello. I'm new in town and I need a room for the night.

CLERK: We're very full sir, but I just had a room on the third floor come empty. [hands over key]

SIMON: ["upstairs" to room, lies down] Wow, what a day, time for a good sleep.

GHOST: [enters, spooky voice] I'm the ghost of the bloody fingers. This is the room where I was killed. Get out of my bed.

SIMON: [screams, "downstairs", exits]

DARIN: [enters, goes to clerk] I've been all over town trying to find a room. I'm very tired, I hope you have something.

CLERK: Well sir, we just had a room on the third floor vacated. Here's a key, have a good night.

DARIN: [up to room, lies down] Now for a good sleep.

GHOST: [enters, spooky voice] I'm the ghost of the bloody fingers. This is the room where I was killed. Get out of my bed.

DARIN: And you'll be the ghost of the two black eyes if you don't let me get some sleep.

Name Ghost With One Black Eye
Action Ghost, 3 Pedestrians Setting: City Street

#1: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A loony!

Ghost: (Comes out; scary voice.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

(#1 scared; drops loony; runs away)

#2: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A dollar!

Ghost: (comes out) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

(#2 scared; drops loony; runs away)

#3: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! Money!

Ghost: (Comes out.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!

#3: Keep it up, and you'll get another!

Name Giant Worm
Action On stage you have a boy conceled in a sleeping bag that is open on both ends, he is the Giant worm.

Several "hikers" happen upon the worm. The hikers are eating and carying with them a supply of candy bars. They look at each other in amazment ask ask each other "I wonder what he eats" The hikers hold some candy bars near the mouth of the worm. The worm gobbles up the candy bars wrappers and all. Then the worm quickly discards empty wrappers form the other end.(stuff happens). The hikers run away.

Another group of hikers comes along drinking soft drinks and repeats the routine.

The third group comes along with nothing to eat or drink. this group should have your smallest scout. this group also ponders what this giant worm would eat. At that moment the worm gobbles up the smallest scout. Then discards a pair of pants and shirt out the other end. The hikers run away. END OF SKIT :)

Name Ging gang gooly
Action At WEBELOS camp last week I was teaching the "Skits, songs and cheers" activity. We had each den produce a skit a song and a cheer. In addition I was teaching other songs so we could have decent volume on the communal songs. I was teaching Ging Gang Gooli (which I discoverd had never been heard before in this council!!!!!!) when a Scouter from a Pittsburg pack (who appears to be as big a nut about campfires as I am) asked if I knew the Great Grey Elephat story which went with it. I didn't, he told it to me, I shamlessly stole it!!!! (with his permision). Apparently this story came to him from Canada - so Thanks to our brothers and sisters in the Great Frozen North for this one.

THE GREAT GREY GHOST ELEPHANT

In deepest darkest Africa there is a legend concerning the Great Grey Ghost Elephant. Every year after the rains the great grey ghost elephant arose from the mists and wandered throught the land at dawn. When he came to a village he would stop and sniff the air, then he would either go around the village or through it. If he went around the village the village would have a prosporous year, if he went through it there would be hunger and drought.

The village of Wat-cha had been visited three years in a row by the elephant and things were very bad indeed, and the village leader Ging-ganga, was very worried, as was the village medicine man Hay-la-shay. Together they decided to do somthing about the problem.

Now Ging-ganga and his worriors whe huge men with big shields and Spears and they decided to stand in the path of the elephant and shake their shields and swords at it to frightenit off.

Hay-la-shay and his followers were going to cast magic spells to deter the elephant by shaking their medicine bags as the elephant approached which made the sound shalawally shallawlly shallawally.

Very early in the morning of the day the Great Grey Elephant came the villagers gatherd at the edge of the village on one side were Ging-gana and his warriors (indicate right side of camp fire circle) on the other was Hay-la-shay and his followers (indicate left side of camp fire)

As they waited the warriors sang softly about their leader

Ging Gang Gooli, Gooli, Gooli, Gooli Watcha Ging Gang Goo Ging Gang Goo Ging Gang Gooli, Gooli, Gooli, Gooli Watcha Ging Gang Goo Ging Gang Goo

As they waited the medicine men sang of their leader

Hayla, Hayla Shayla Heyla Shayla Halya Ho-o-o! Hayla, Hayla Shayla Heyla Shayla Halya Ho-o-o!

And shook their medicine bags

shallawally shallawlly shallawally shallawally.

And from the river came the mighty great grey elephants reply (Have all the adults do this)

Oompha Oompah Ompah Oompah!

The elephat was coming closer so the warriors beat their shields and sang louder (signal warriors to stand and beat thighs in time)

Ging Gang Gooli, Gooli, Gooli, Gooli Watcha Ging Gang Goo Ging Gang Goo Ging Gang Gooli, Gooli, Gooli, Gooli Watcha Ging Gang Goo Ging Gang Goo

then the medicine men rose and sang loudly

Hayla, Hayla Shayla Heyla Shayla Halya Ho-o-o! Hayla, Hayla Shayla Heyla Shayla Halya Ho-o-o!

And shook their medicine bags

shallawally shallawlly shallawally shallawally.

And mighty great grey elephant turn aside and went around the village saying

Oompha Oompah Ompah Oompah!

There was great rejoicing in the village and all the villagers joind to gether to sing

Ging Gang Gooli ........

Name Glass of Water
Action CAST: 3-4 PROPS: glass of water, comb SETUP: There is a glass of water in the middle of the stage.

First scout crawls across the floor crying for water. He dies dramatically shortly after beginning his crawl. The second person dies just short of the glass of water. The third person on his last bit of strength really hams up his desperation as much as he can. He reaches the water, takes out a comb, grooms his hair with the water, sighs with relief and goes off stage.

Name Going to Court
Action Version 1

This one is a run on that requires the above-mentioned partner whose been around for years and will be for years more, and good timing. One of the nice things about this one is that you can use as little as two appearances or if necessary, you can expand upon it to other situations involving the wordplay about "case" and court. Another line would be at the beginning where the litigant goes to someone for advice, but they say that they don't have a case, prompting them to go buy a briefcase.

Cast: Campfire Chief, litigant, briefcase

Setting: Campfire

Each time the litigant comes in, the campfire chief is about to announce or close a skit. Requires perfect timing or a chief who is able to blend in the litigant's entries perfectly, or both.

Chief: Hello? I'm trying to introduce the next item? What are you doing here?

Litigant: (coming in with briefcase) Uh, excuse me, but I need to tell you something. My inspection results today were terrible, so I'm going to (lift up briefcase) bring my case to court.

Next appearance, the litigant is crawling on the ground with a flashlight, without the briefcase:

Chief: Oh, it's you again. What are you doing down on the ground?

Litigant: I lost my case! I'm looking for it!

Next appearance, the litigant is up on a table, a high chair, a tall tree stump, in a tree, whatever, carrying his briefcase. He makes noise to get attention, and the chief shines a light on him.

Chief: What are you doing now?

Litigator: I'm bringing my case to a higher court!

Last appearance is a little dangerous. Be careful to have plenty of open space where people won't get hurt, and that the chief is ready for this.

Suddenly the briefcase is flying through the air and the Chief catches it -- if only to protect the audience :) -- and exclaims:

Chief: (Flustered) What's this all about?

Litigator: My case got thrown out of court!

Version 2

From: Tom Oldershaw

Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing. Reply: "I'm taking by case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them. "I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).

4. This time, without a case: "I lost my case" [We also "lost the case" by searching all around the stage, cabinets under the stage, near the MC ('scuse me, 'pardon me), under his papers, etc. Then tell him you "lost your case."]

5. Entry with a banana and case: "What are you doing with that banana?" "I am appealing my case!"

6. Next time: Open and close the case as you walk across the stage. When MC asks what you are doing, tell him/her "...it's an open and shut case!"

7. Person enters, case open and inverted. MC asks, "Now what are you doing?" Person replies, "My case got overturned."

Name Gone Fishing
Action Characters: Dad, Mom, Jimmy, Johnny and Jerry.

Props: A large box containing lots of fishing gear - tackle box, fishing gear, waders, etc.

Dad: (coming in from work) Oh boy! My new fishing gear is here! Did I get everything I ordered?

Mom: I think so, but you'd better check and make sure.

Dad: Let's see... my new waders, my new casting rod and reel. And my new lures... 500 assorted lures. I now own the most advanced technology for catching fish that money can buy!

(Jimmy and Johnny enter)

Jimmy: You got your new fishing gear! When are you going fishing Dad?

Dad: Just as soon as I put on my jeans and my new fishing sweater.

Johnny: Can we go, Dad? Can we?

Dad: Why sure, boys. I can teach you fellahs all about fishing in the great outdoors. By the way, where's your brother?

Mom: I haven't seen him in awhile.

(Jerry enters carrying an extremely long string of cardboard fish)

Jerry: Hi Dad! Look what I caught!

Dad: Where did you get those?

Jerry: Fishing.

Dad: With what?

Jerry: With a stick and a bent safety pin for a hook.

Dad: A safety pin? (Looks at his pile of equipment.) Get me a stick! I'm going fishing with you!

Name GONE FISHING
Action Three boys sitting on a bench or chairs in the front of the room. The two boys on outside have fishing poles, the one in the middle is reading a newspaper. Boys with lines act like they are fishing.

Cub 1: Sure haven't been catching much.

Cub 3: I haven't even had a nibble.

Policeman: (walks on from offstage.) What are you guys doing?

Cub 1: Fishing, sir.

Policeman: Can't you tell this is a pack meeting?

Cub 3: No, it's a pond!

Policeman: (nudges man with paper and he lowers it) Do you know these two characters?

Cub 2: (folds newspaper) Sure, they are my friends.

Policeman: In that case, you'd better get them out of here.

Cub 2: Yes, sir. (reaching behind chair, picks up a paddle and acts as if he is paddling away.)

Name Good Granny
Action Equipment: 4 adults
Preparation:: Practice and the okay from the adults you'll be using(or making fun of.)

Action To understand this skit, you must first know that the adults in my troop are called grannies. You need one guy to work at a imaginary cash register and he needs to be able to do one of the kid's voices from GoodBurger. (The first customer walks up, with 4 adults in the background.)

Cashier: Welcome to GoodGranny, Home of the good granny! Can I take your order?

1st Customer: I would like a good granny, please.

Cashier: Here you go. (Customer walks off with granny. 2nd customer walks up.)

Cashier:(same as first time)

2nd Customer: I would like a good granny.

Cashier: Uh, we don't have one of those.

2nd Customer: Okay, how about an okay granny?

Cashier: Here you go. (Customer and granny walk off.) This is continued until you run out of adults. You need to know the personalities of your adults for this to have maximum effect.

Name Good Soup
Action CAST: 4 Scouts and the cook. PROPS: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop (a large rag would work). A chef's hat or apron would also be useful. SETUP: Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with the spoons.

Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.

Scott : Boy, this is sure good soup.

Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.

David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.

Matthew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.

Cook : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys! Get out of my mop water!!!

Name Go Cart
Action CAST: Driver, go-cart PROPS: none SETUP: One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart'.

Driver: Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble! Now the front wheel has come off. (Selects member of audience) Would you come over and give me a hand. Thanks.[Selected person may have some comments to respond to. Then they are led to the cart.]

Driver: Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be the front wheel. Now let me try it again. (Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)

Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)

Driver: Now what is it?

[Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags again.]

Driver: Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help. (Selects someone else) Please come over here and be the suspension. That's right, just hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts engine.)

Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)

Driver: (Getting off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help. (Selects more help. New help is positioned at rear wheel.)

Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel (indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a big help. Thanks. (Driver gets on cart, starts engine)

Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)

Driver: (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now! All I needed was a few NUTS to get it going!

Name Granny's Candy Store
Action Paint a verbal picture of the various scouts acting as a cash register (person says ching, ching), popcorn machine (goes pop, pop), door (person holds arms horizontal,swinging saying creak, creak), tree, chair, etc. Have three guys standing there with no parts to play. Have several scouts come in one at a time, as customers. They ask Granny for various items of candy; licorice, gum, etc. Finally disgusted, a customer asks what she does have, and she says all she has left is these three suckers standing in the corner.
Name Granny! Wake Up!
Action Cast: Grandson, Granny (2 people), Volunteer, Victim, campfire blanket(s)

Setting: In Granny's Room

Granny is in bed (say on the floor,) and of course is covered with blankets. Your two grannies lie down on their backs, as close together as possible, with heads in opposite directions. The head of one is exposed, the other being covered and where Granny's "feet" are.

Try to figure out a way to set up the audience such that it seems like the right way to be addressing Granny, such as Her being afraid of getting any worse and wanting to be completely covered up to avoid getting cold.

Grandson: (To Granny) Granny! Wake Up! It's time for your pill! (Pause -- no response.) Granny! Wake Up! Oh no! She may be dead! (Ham it up, boys!) My gosh, I'll need some help! (Get volunteer.) Help me wake Granny!

Both of them: Granny! Wake UP! Wake Up!

Grandson: Oh, what ever will we do? She needs to take that pill! I think we need more help! (Get victim.) Will you help us? Just call out with us to wake up Granny.

All of them: GRANNY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Grandson: Maybe if you stand over her and ask her for a sign that she's still alive.

Victim: OK. (Stands over her) Granny! Wake Up! Please! Give me a sign!

Granny's "back end" rises up and hits him on the behind.

Name Grecian Fountains
Action Equipment: Two sheets, two pitchers of water, classical music (tape), and a tape player.
Preparation: Practice! This skit is guaranteed to bring even the most dificult crowd to its knees. It is best performed by two or more high profile members of the group. The two "Grecian Fountains" must be able to keep from smiling for maximum effect.

Action: The two actors walk to the front of the stage, wearing the sheets as togas. For added effect, they may be wearing their swim trunks underneath along with hiking boots and mismatched socks, or a crown of leaves. One announces, in the most sarcastically sophisticated voice he can muster, that the two are well known members of the "Grecian Fountains" Dance Society. The two take up their positions at opposite sides of the stage as the music begins. After a few measures, one "Fountain" begins taking slow, graceful steps in time with the music. He moves gradually towards the other "Fountain". When he is near the audience, he stops, faces sideways, and takes a long drink from his pitcher. He then begins spitting the water out of his mouth in a long, steady stream. When he is finished he freezes as the other "Fountain" begins a similar promenade, ending with another stream of water. The next rotation becomes a little more artistic as the Fountains stand gracefully on one foot while spitting, or whatever other classical moves they can imagine. Eventually, one Fountain approaches his stoic counterpart, drinks the water, and releases a steady stream on his friend's feet. The wet-footed Fountain makes a slow circling approach around the other, and may release a stream directly onto his friend's chest. (A face shot is great if you can talk your Scouts into it!) You get the idea. There are a dozen ways to ham this one up. The ending usually results with one Fountain graciously pouring the remaining contents of his pitcher onto the other Fountain's head. Neither Fountain should ever smile or show anything but the most serious expression he can muster.

Name Greek Theater
Action Setting: Dress scouts in togas. Have them come on stage as if to recite the Iliad. Scouts tell jokes from Boys Life magazine.
Name Green Side Up! Green Side Up!
Action Characters: A Building Contractor, A Couple (if lady isn't available, changes can be made for one person)

Contractor (inside house): Okay, we need a color for the wall in the living room. (walks to space that is living room).

Wife: I like white.

Husband: No, how about blue?

Wife: How 'bout tan?

Husband: Okay.

Contractor: Okay...(writes down on paper) um.. wait just a second. The contractor goes to the window looks out, he opens the window leans out and shouts, "Green side up!"

This repeats for two more rooms. Each time after the Contractor says "Green Side Up", couple converses between themselves and are not sure about the sanity of the contractor.

After the last room:

Husband: Mr. (whatever you want his name to be), why do you keep yelling "Green Side Up!" outside the window? We didn't order any green wall paper!?!

Contractor: Oh. I am sorry folks. Boy scout troop is being lead by Scout Master and we just want to make sure the sod gets laid down right.--

Name Guinness Spitter
Action Equipment: A can (gallon size ideal)
Preparation: The Catcher is the key performer. He must practice so that he can swing the can of water around without spilling or revealing the contents to the audience. He must also be able to tap the bottom of the can without being seen.

Action: A Scout loudly proclaims himself as the Best Spitter in the World. He boasts about his spitting prowess, claiming that he can spit farther than anyone else. Other Scouts, planted in the audience, challenge him to prove it. The Spitter agrees to a demonstration and asks for someone in the audience to catch for him. The Catcher volunteers. The Spitter explains that he will stand about 20 feet from the Catcher. When the Catcher learns that he is to catch the Spitter's spit, he complains. The Spitter then "finds" the water bucket at the edge of the campfire stage. The Catcher agrees with obvious relief. They set up a short distance apart. The Spitter winds up and spits. The catcher reaches up and catches with a solid thump. The Spitter takes a bow but the audience is not impressed. They say anyone can do that, they want something better. So the performance is repeated, this time at a greater distance (and maybe with a corkscrew spin on it.) After several tries, the Spitter claims that he can spit all the way around the world! The audience reaction is predictable. They set up; the Spitter spits, the Catcher ducks, waits, moves into position, and catches the spit (the Spitter may choose to dive out of the way just in the nick of time as the spit comes sailing up behind him.) Now the planted Scouts yell that the spitter is a fake! They say he couldn't really spit all the way around the world. The Spitter says, "Oh Yeah? Show them!" The catcher turns and throws the water into the crowd.

Name Hairy Hamburger
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: none SETUP: A man enters and sits down in a restaurant and orders a hamburger. The waiter bring out his hamburger and the man starts eating it.

Customer: "Waiter! There's a hair in my hamburger!! What kind of a joint are you running here!!"

Waiter: (Inspects the hamburger) Why, I'm so sorry sir. I'll bring you a fresh one right away!"

[Another one is brought out, and it has a hair in it. It is taken back and replaced. The third hamburger also has a hair in it. The man gets upset and demands to see the cook. The cook comes out.]

Customer: "I would like to know just how you make your hamburgers."

cook: "Nothing special. All I do is roll the meat into a ball and squeeze it into patties."

[He demonstrates, making patties by placing the meat under his arm and squeezing.]

Name Halloween Candy
Action Characters: Dad, 3 trick or treaters (Cub Scouts dressed in Halloween costumes with bags for trick or treating)

Props: Candy, etc, as called for in skit/table --(Dad piles candy up on table as he collects it from kids)

Dad: (to 3 trick or treaters as they enter) Well, I'm glad you made it home safely! How was trick or treating this year?

Cub #1: It was great, Dad! We got a lot of great stuff.

Dad: Let's see what you have there!

Cub #1: I got this big candy bar and all these chocolate candies.

Dad: Let me have those. Those could be dangerous. The wrappings might be loose, and they might have gotten germs on them. (turns to Cub #2) what did you get?

Cub #2: I got a box of raisins and shiny red apple!

Dad: I's better take those. That apple might contain a razor blade! (turns to Cub #3) What did you get?

Cub #3: I got bubble gum and taffy.

Dad: Give it to me! That could ruin your braces! Do any of you have anything else?

Cub #1: Just these peppermint candies we got right here at our own house! Can't we keep those?

Dad: I'd better take them. You can't be too careful! Now off to bed! (trick or treaters exit)

Dad: (to audience as he runs his hands through the pile of goodies he has collected on the table) The things a father has to do to protect his children! (pause) I love Halloween!

Name Hamming It Up
Action (Several Cub Scouts with homemade pig masks. There are many ideas on mask-making in the Cub Scout Leader How-To Book.)

Piggy #1: I sure had a high fever last night.

Piggy #2: How high?

Piggy #1: Two bales.

Piggy #3: Two bales? That's no way to take a temperature.

Piggy #1: Of course it is. I have hay fever!

Piggy #4: Hey, why did the pig cross the road?

Piggy #5: I give up. Why?

Piggy #4: It was the chicken's day off.

Piggy #6: What do you think my Uncle Porky Pig sang when he joined the navy?

Piggy #7: I don't know. What?

Piggy #6: (singing) "Oinkers aweigh, my boys, oinkers away."

Piggy #8: What do you call a pig who crosses the road twice but refuses to take a bath?

Piggy #5: What?

Piggy #8: A dirty double-crosser.

Piggy #3: (holding up a blank piece of poster board) Here is my famous painting of five hogs eating in a field of corn.

Piggy #2: I don't see a field of corn.

Piggy #3: The hogs ate it all.

Piggy #7: I don't see the five hogs either.

Piggy #3: Of course not. Why should the hogs stay around when the corn is gone?

Piggies (all): And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of our tale!

(All pigs turn around and show off curly tails.)

Name HANS AND FRANZ
Action Props: Box with a lever sticking out of it. Costumes of weight lifters. Cover over sign on box that says "Voting Booth".

Hans: I'm Hans.

Franz: And I'm Franz.

Both: And we're here to (clap) pump you up! (Point to audience.)

Hans: We have a lever to pull here today.

Franz: Ya, and we aren't no weakling men, we will have no trouble pulling it.

Hans: Hear us today, remember us next week, and understand what we do next year. Let's pull the lever, Franz. (Both try but cannot pull the lever.)

Boy 1: (Walks on stage, pulls lever down and pushes back up.) Having some trouble pulling the lever down?

Franz: No problem, we were just checking the tension.

Hans: Ya, we'll show you now! (Try again and fail.)

Boy 2: (Walks on stage and pulls lever and pushes it back up.)

Franz: Hey, how did he do that?

Boy 3: It's easy. Anyone can do it.

Hans: You tink so?

Franz: Third time's a charm. (Try again and again cannot do it.)

Boy 3: (Walks on and pulls lever and pushes back.) This is easy, but pulling the lever has little to do with strength. You see (removes sign cover) all you have to be is a registered voter to do it.

Name HAPPINESS IS - MISERY IS
Action CAST: 2 to 8 Cub Scouts, or more (Cubs alternate; first boy says: "HAPPINESS IS…," second boy says : "MISERY IS…"

PROPS: Hold up cards or cardboard cutouts (painted) of smiling and sad faces that boys can make themselves.

1ST CUB: HAPPINESS IS…Hearing your Dad has won an all expense paid trip to Hawaii.

2ND CUB: MISERY IS…when you find out that the trip is for two and you have to stay home with a baby-sitter.

1ST CUB: HAPPINESS IS…When your Dad drives you to school in his brand new car and all your friends are there to see you.

2ND CUB: MISERY IS…When you get out and the door falls off and lands on your toes.

1ST CUB: HAPPINESS IS…When your Mom takes you and your friends for a ride in her new convertible with the top down.

2ND CUB: MISERY IS…When it starts to rain cats and dogs and the top won’t go up.

1ST CUB: HAPPINESS IS…When you’re flying in outer space in a big space ship and you are in command.

2ND CUB: MISERY IS…Waking up with a big headache after you’ve fallen out of bed from the top bunk.

1ST CUB: HAPPINESS IS…Getting to do it yourself - build your own motorcycle kit and your Dad is going to help you put it together.

2ND CUB: MISERY IS…Opening the box and finding the instructions written in Japanese.

1ST CUB: HAPPINESS IS…Getting a bike for your birthday.

2ND CUB: MISERY IS…When you find it has three wheels.

Name Harlem Globetrotters
Action Three scouts are doing laundry, each is sitting behind a bucket which holds his "laundry". Two of the buckets really have water and a rag or two. All three work at scrubbing and wringing water from their laundry for a few seconds. One sitting on the end shakes the water from his hands getting his neighbor slightly wet. This provokes the scout in the middle who retaliates with a splash back ... escalate in comedic fashion till the one on the end throws a wet rag at the face of the "scout" in the middle who ducks. The rag sails on till it smacks the scout on the far end (previously not involved in the water fight) in the face. The smack-ee picks up his bucket to dump on the others who take flight into the audience.

The Punch line: When the actors are in the crowd the smack-ee tosses the contents of his bucket in a wide arc over as much of the audience as possible. In the version I saw the bucket was filled with pieces of newspaper but in a Scouting setting a bucket full of leaves would work just a well. If the actors have a little talent and practice this can be extremely funny.

Name Hat Skit
Action Shower cap, ball cap, candle on firm base.

(This skit is done by one person. A hat type or position and voice indicates the character. The Mother talks in a high voice with the lower lip out and up, and wears a fancy shower hat. The Father wears a ball cap with the peak to the left side and talks out of the left side of his mouth. The educated son, a normal voice, and wears the ball cap to the front. The other son wears the cap to the right, and talks out of that side. The father and other son have drawls. The candle is burning, in front of the performer.)

FATHER: Well, it is sure good having you home from college son. Hope you're getting a good education.

ED SON: Oh I am, it won't be long and I'll graduate.

SON: Sure enough you won't want to be stayin' down here on the farm.

MOTHER: Now, Marvin, Tom'll be visitin' often enough.

FATHER: [yawning] It's been a long day, and hearin' about all that college learnin' has made me tired. I'm goin' ta turn in.

ALL: [indicate agreement]

MOTHER: This durn'd candle's always a problem to put out, but out it's got to go. [tries to blow it out, but because of lip, air goes up] Hey Pa, I can't do it again, you try it

FATHER: [blows, but air goes sideways] Cain't do it neither Ma. Marvin, you have a go.

SON: [blows, and blows, but air goes to other side] Ain't no good Pa. I try and try, but all I get is chapped lips. Tom, show us what all that educamation has done fer ya.

ED SON: [licks finger and thumb, pinches out flame - exits]

Name Have You Seen my Belly Button?
Action Cast: Dog owner, Passengers on bus, stuffed animal

Setting: City Bus

Owner goes around on the bus asking people if they've seen his Belly Button. Some ignore him, women gasp, people are horrified, some respond, "The nerve of him!" "How crude!" "What a rude person!" Finally he spots the toy and exclaims,

Person: Ah! Belly Button! There you are, you bad dog!

Name Heaven's Gate
Action You can get your favorite leader or friend with this one.

Need: 5 or more scouts (1 is an announcer, 1 is an Angel).

Announcer: Here we are at the Gates of Heaven.

Scout 1: (Walks up to angel at gate) Hello, I see I've come to Heaven.

Angel: Well, you're not in yet ! First you've got to tell me how you suffered on Earth.

Scout 1: Well, I spent a week eating camp food.

Angel: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough. (Scout 1 exits dejectedly.)

Scout 2: (Enters) Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.

Angel: Fine, fine. And how have you suffered ?

Scout 2: I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my feet.

Angel: Sorry. That's not enough suffering to get into Heaven. (Scout 2 exits)

Scout 3: (Enters) Can I get into Heaven ?

Angel: How did you suffer ?

Scout 3: I'm in (Pick someone's name who can take a joke) (troop/pack/six/class, etc.)

Angel: Well, come on in !!

-- From The U.S. Scouting Service Project

Name Herman The German
Action I. Man named Herman

A. Lived in Germany

B. Liked to jump off trees and dive into swamps

C. He had been through a lot of hardships throughout his life

II. A man watches Herman diving

A. The man tells Herman he has a lot of potential and he can help

B. After a lot of practice, the coach has Herman try out for the Olympics

III. Goes to trials or Olympics

A. Does really well on first two dives

B. Does belly smacker on third

C. That's okay he has been through hardships before

IV. Repeat III as many times as necessary

V. Moves to America because Germany does not want him anymore

A. Tries out for American team

B. Belly flops third dive

C. That's okay he has been through hardships before

VI. Quits diving

A. Moves to a house in California or visits California

B. Walks along the Golden Gate Bridge and sees man drowning and jumps in to save him, or someone pays him to jump

C. Did not see big hard ship coming underneath and goes all the way through it

D. That's okay he's been through "hard ships" before

Name Herman, The Trained Flea
Action The trainer has a flea various tricks, when suddenly he loses Herman, his trained flea. He searches around for Herman, calling for him, eventually a person is brought forward with a flea in his hair. The punch line is, "This isn't Herman!"
Name HE DEN _______ TITLE HOLDERS
Action Boys come onto stage and speak in unison:

We all excel in Feats of Skill, Some of us hold titles you see. Just listen to us dear friends, And that we're skillful you'll agree.

One boy steps out of line toward audience and says:

I hold the title, Of strongest boy in my den. Do you really think, It's because of my friend?

(As this boy says the first line, other boys take clothespins out of pockets and place on noses. Then as boy says second line, he takes a toy skunk from behind him and holds it up for audience to see.)

Another boy steps out of line and says:

I'm called the muscle man Of my den this year. I guess it's all here, Right between each ear!

(As boy says last line, he takes a much-too-small hat from behind his back and tries desperately to fit it on his head.)

Another boy steps out of line and says:

I hold the title Of the fastest of all; It's because I'm always first When it's time for chow call!

(As boy says the last line, he takes a handful of cookies out of his pocket and starts eating them.)

Another boy steps forward and says:

In magic I'm skillful As you will soon see; We'll all disappear As we count to three. (Boy takes a magician's hat from behind him and puts it on.)

All boys count in unison 1 - 2 - 3. Curtain closes.

Name Hiccups
Action Characters: Den leader, Cub Scouts

Props: Chairs for boys - set up as for den meeting around table.

Den Leader: I want you all to work on your craft now - making kites for the pack kite flying contest. Do your best. (Den Leader leaves room - boys start to use materials to make craft)

Cub #1: (hiccup, hiccup) I can't make my kite (hiccup). I keep hiccuping (hiccup). I better go play Nintendo and rest (hiccup).

Cub #2: I know what to do. Hold your breath while I count to ten. It works every time. One, two, three, ...ten. (Cub #1 holds breath)

Cub #1: (lets out breath - loud hiccup) It didn't work! (hiccup)

Cub #3: Try putting a pinch of sugar under your tongue. It works every time.

Cub #1: (tries sugar under tongue - hiccup, hiccup) That didn't work either.

Cub #4: Here, try breathing into this paper bag. That always works!

Cub #1: (breaths into bag - hiccup) Nothing works for me (hiccup).

(Den Leader returns. Cub #2 runs up to him.)

Cub #2: Mr. Smith - Billy keeps hiccuping and he can't do his work. I guess he better go play Nintendo while we finish his kite.

Den Leader: Billy, come here. Let's hear you hiccup so I can see if I should let you go play Nintendo.

Cub #1: (silence)

Den Leader: Go ahead, hiccup!

Cub #1: (total silence)

Den Leader: Well, I guess you better go back and finish your kite. (Turns to audience.) It works every time!

Name Hiccup for Me
Action A boy comes out and says something like, "Hic - I can't - Hic - get rid of these Hic-ups". Another person comes out and asks what wrong. He is told and yells "BOO!" to help the boy get rid of his hiccups. It didn't work. Several more people try various methods to get rid of the hiccups and they are fail. Last method is tried and seems to work, but just as he leaves the stage starts hiccuping again, so he falls to the floor in despair.
Name How do I do That?
Action There are roughly 255 quintillion quazillion variations of this skit out on the market, including robbers, suicide pills, car crashes and so on. You may more commonly know this one as "Veech Boton?" I'll give you the version I learned and the only non-rancid version I've seen yet. [This is also similar to "Submarine Patrol" here in the Big Book.]

Version 1

Cast: 5 Guys kneeling in line (1st is captain, last is dummy)

Setting: Submarine

Captain: (Looking through periscope) Aim torpedo 1!

2: Aim torpedo 1!

3: Aim torpedo 1!

4: Aim torpedo 1!

5: How do I do that?

4: How do I do that?

3: How do I do that?

2: How do I do that?

Captain: With button 1!

And so on down the line.

5: Oh! (Presses button 1.) (Poof!)

Captain: Ahch! We missed!

And so on down the line.

Captain: Fire torpedo 2!

And so on down the line, after which is, "How do I do that?" "With button 2!" on down the line. Continue down through to torpedo 4 (or 5 or however many,) each time the captain becoming more frustrated and annoyed and calling the guy names etc. Each exclamation, for the best effect, should be repeated down the line. Finally, they run out of torpedoes and then...

Captain: The only thing left to do now is to kill myself (shoots himself.)

And so on down the line.

5: How do I do that?

Version 2

Same kind of situation, but this time it's a bunch of garbage collectors, racing their truck down their route.

Driver: Okay! Try the first one! (They miss.)

Others: Darn! Next time we'll get it right! (And so on at every stop.)

Finally...

Driver: Well, guys, we missed all of the garbage stops. I guess the only honorable thing to do is to pick up the garbage properly! (And they do.)

Name How Indians Tell Time at Night
Action The Master of Ceremonies announces that the next skit as, "How Indians tell time in the dark". He recruits a few scout to dance (Indian style) around the campfire fire and Indian chanting at the same time. The MC stops and says "listen" hearing nothing he says this is not working. He then recruits more volunteers, dance sing chant, etc. He stops the group to listen, (still nothing). He gets even more volunteers, repeat dance, sing chant, the final time when he stops the group to listen someone from offstage yells: "Would you be quiet! Don't you know its 2:00 o'clock in the morning?"
Name How Much?
Action Characters: Bob (a cashier), Paul (a Webelos Scout) and Mr. Jones (Cubmaster).

Setting: Bob stands behind counter (table) waiting on Paul. He has a computerized check-out machine (decorated box). Groceries indicated in script are ready to be checked out (empty cartons).

Paul: Hi Bob! How much are these eggs?

Bob: Seventy cents a dozen (scanning eggs).

Paul: How much for two dozen?

Bob: One dollar and forty cents.

(Paul writes down the prices on a pad as Bob scans each item)

Paul: How much is one pound of coffee?

Bob: Two dollars and 89 cents (scans coffee).

Paul: How much for one can of peas?

Bob: Thirty-three cents (scans peas).

Paul: How much is one box of Betty Crocker Cake mix?

Bob: Seventy-nine cents (scans cake mix).

Paul: How much is a pound of American cheese?

Bob: One dollar and 59 cents (scans cheese).

Paul: And a bottle of grape juice?

Bob: Seventy-nine cents (scans grape juice). Say, you certainly are keeping good records of what you spend.

Paul: One package of oatmeal?

Bob: One dollar and 49 cents (scans oatmeal).

Paul: Now, how much does all that cost?

Bob: That's nine dollars and 28 cents.

(Mr. Jones enters)

Mr. Jones: Hi, Bob! Hi, Paul! Are you buying food for the Webelos overnight camp out?

Bob: Do you want all this in paper or plastic?

Paul: Oh, no! I don't want to buy anything. I just had a math problem today. "How much would the following items cost at today's prices?" Thanks for the help, Bob! Bye!

Name How to Wash An Elephant
Action Before introducing this stunt, choose three people to leave the room. They should not overhear the narrator. Narrator explains to audience that the stunt is called "How to Wash an Elephant", a classic example in communications. He tells the following story and pantomimes the motions as he goes.

Narrator: One morning, Farmer Friendly went out to the barn to begin his chores (pantomime walking). He threw open the barn door, and to his surprise, he found an elephant in his barn (pantomime throwing open door, surprise). The farmer didn't know what to do with the elephant so he decided that the first thing to do was to wash it. He led the elephant from the barn (pick up the elephant's trunk and walking with it over your shoulder, open and close barn door). He left the elephant near the pump, got a bucket and scrub brush and pumped the bucket full of water (pantomime the actions). Now he was ready to begin. First he scrubbed the left side (lift up elephant's ear and wash that). Then he was ready for the stomach (lie down on floor; wriggle under elephant and scrub underside). Next, the right side (repeat actions as for left side). Then he scrubbed the elephant's face (pantomime scrubbing between eyes and down length of trunk). Almost done (walk to rear of the elephant, gingerly lift up tail and quickly scrub there). There, that's done! (Pantomime throwing out rest of water, putting the brush in bucket and setting bucket beside pump. Take the elephant by his trunk and lead him back to the barn, open door, lead him in, go out and shut door behind.)

Narrator tells audience he will call people back in, one by one, and pantomime the stunt, without benefit of narrative. The first person will do what he remembers for the second person, and so on. He will, of course, have no idea what the motions mean, so it can be very funny. By the time the actions are pantomimed for the third person, it will be distorted and bear little resemblance to the original version.

After all three have tried their luck, the narrator explains the story and tells them what they were doing.

Name Ice Cream
Action ANNO: Ladies and gentlemen you are about to see a scene from an ice cream store with the worlds largest selection of flavours.

CUSTOMER: [entering] Wow, what a place. Tell me, what flavours do you have?

CLERK: [recites off many many flavours (with lots of hand gestures and head scratching and running out of breath) starting with Vanilla. Finally he says] Which would you like?

CUSTOMER: What did you say first?.

CLERK: Vanilla!

CUSTOMER: I'll take that.

CLERK: [chases customer out]

(The success of this skit depends on the elaboration and gestures of the clerk while listing flavours)

Name Ice Fishing
Action Two scouts come in and act like they are cutting the ice to fish, they stand or sit fishing when from backstage someone calls out "There are no fish there". After hearing this they seemed amazed or think the other one is making noises, but they move anyways. Then the two make another hole and start fishing again, again they hear the voice "There are no fish there". Again amazed! this continues once more and once more they move. After making their hole and start fishing this time they hear "This is the Ice rink manager there are no fish there".
Name IF I WERE SANTA
Action A short, silly skit about scampish elves and their concern for Santa.

CAST: SANTA 9 ELVES EXTRA ELVES (Non-speaking parts)

PROPS: 1 large sign on wall or drapes saying "DO NOT DlSTURB - SANTA’S SLEEPING" paper and pencil, 1 large sign saying "DECEMBER 24" standing on stage 1 envelope addressed to Santa.

SETTING: All elves are standing on stage whispering loudly when Chief Elf walks in.

CHIEF ELF: Hey! Keep the noise down. Can’t you see Santa’s trying to catch a few winks. (He points to "Do Not Disturb" sign) This has been a rough week, and the mail is still pouring in.

1ST ELF: (holding up envelope) Did you read the one about wanting the real E.T. sent to him for Christmas?

2ND ELF: Why IF I WERE SANTA, I’d send him an EGG TURNER! (All elves laugh.)

3RD ELF: Oh, Santa knows how to handle requests like that. His real problem is transportation. It gets pretty cold riding in an open sleigh, IF I WERE SANTA, I’d buy a racy TRANS AM, maybe with a small sun roof … and a stereo.

4TH ELF: (interrupts) You can’t land a Trans Am on a roof, but I’d consider harnessing my sleigh to 8 white horses. They’re faster than reindeer,

5TH ELF: (disgusted) Since when have you seen a horse with a RED NOSE!

(All elves laugh and laugh.)

6TH ELF: It doesn’t matter what Santa rides in. It’s that bright red suit. He’d look so much thinner in a black tuxedo puttin’ on his top hat (starts dancing around) and ready for a night on the town.

(All elves shake their heads and turn their back on the elf who is still dancing around.)

7TH ELF: Forget the car; forget the tux. Don’t you know it’s Santa’s boots. IF I WERE SANTA, I could climb down a chimney faster in a pair of NIKES - much better traction.

8TH ELF: (excitedly) I’ve got the answer! It’s that heavy bag of toys Santa carries, IF I WERE SANTA, I’d pack everything in a suitcase with wheels. It’s the latest thing in luggage y’know.

CHIEF ELF: (rubbing his chin and thinking for a moment) I vote we stay up ALL NIGHT and list the ways to make Santa’s job easier. That way he’s sure to get more sleep.

(Chief Elf grabs pencil and paper. Elves huddle together whispering loudly. Elves look up and see Santa entering rubbing his eyes and yawning. All elves suddenly become very quiet.)

SANTA: (standing with hands on hips and speaking in a loud, clear voice) My suit is all pressed and my shoes polished bright. I’ve packed up my bag with the toys made just right! I’ve hooked up my sleigh to eight tiny reindeer, And shined the red nose that guides me each year! So, IF I WERE AN ELF, I would heed this advice: I’d say "Nighty, Night, Santa" and be quiet as mice!

(Elves walk off stage slowly one by one saying "Goodnight Santa," but the 7TH ELF stays behind for a moment. then walks slowly up to Santa.)

7TH ELF: Y’sure you don’t want a pair of NIKES, Santa?

(7th Elf hands Santa a pair of Nikes, then runs off stage. Santa looks at Nikes, shakes his head, starts to chuckle, then takes a bow!)

Name Igor
Action No props are needed, although the actors can make up bits of costumes that emphasize their roles. The evil professor can wear a long white lab coat. Some rehearsal is wise, to get the most out of each performance.

A large Scout lies stiffly in the middle of the stage. The Professor enters and introduces himself, giving a very Russian-sounding name. He boasts about his great abilities and how he will prove that he is the greatest scientist in the world. He has created a monster named Igor, who can obey three different commands! With these commands, the Professor will control the world.

The Professor is interrupted by a loud knock on the door (from off-stage). A Scout enters, trying to sell a subscription to home delivery of the local newspaper. The Professor refuses, but the Scout persists. The Professor turns to the audience and says, "Now you will see what I can do with my monster!"

He turns and points to Igor and says, "Igor! Stand!" Igor slowly stands up. The Professor says, "Igor! Walk!" Igor stiffly walks toward the Scout.

He says, "Igor! Kill!" Igor reaches out and strangles the Scout, who dies with a great show of anguish.

"Ha! Ha!" says the Professor, "Now you see what I have achieved! Now you know that I can control the world with Igor and my three commands!" Igor slowly goes back and lies down.

The scene is repeated at least twice more, with a Girl Scout selling cookies, a religious zealot, a vote-seeking politician, or a door-to-door salesman. Each time, the Professor boasts, he is interrupted by a persistent salesman, and he uses the three commands. Each salesman is killed off.

The Professor finally comes to the front of the stage, with Igor lying among the bodies behind him. He boasts again about his three commands, and how he will use them to control the world. All he has to do is say, "Igor! Stand!" Igor stands.

"Igor! Walk!" Igor walks toward the Professor, who does not notice him.

"Igor! Kill!" Igor kills the Professor, turns, and lies back down.

Name Indian Skit
Action Scene: White man on stage; Indians enter, beating drums and line up in half-circle.

White man: White man glad to see red man. White man hope big chief feel tip top.

Indian: (calling to friend) Hey Joe, come here and listen to this guy talk.

ALL DANCE

Indian: Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he called for Geronimo and Falling Rocks, the two bravest warriors in his tribe. The chief instructed each to go out and get buffalo skins. Whoever returns with the most skins would be chief. About a month later Geronimo came back with one hundred pelts, but Falling Rock never returned. Even today as you drive through the West, you can see signs saying: "Watch Out for Falling Rocks."

ALL DANCE

White man: Why were the Indians the first people in North America?

Indian: Because we had reservations.

ALL DANCE

Indian: There once was an Indian chief whose name was Shortcake. He lived in the mountains with his wife, Squaw. One day Shortcake died, and a sympathetic Indian asked Squaw what she would do with him. She answered sadly, "Squaw bury Shortcake."

ALL DANCE

Indian 1: I hear your name is Sitting Bull.

Indian 2: Yes, that's right.

Indian 1: Then, why aren't you sitting?

Indian 2: I'm on vacation.

ALL DANCE

Indian 1: Hey, why are you wearing so many feathers?

Indian 2: To keep my wigwam, of course.

ALL DANCE

White man: What is that you're wearing around your neck?

Indian: These are bear claws.

White man: Oh, I suppose that they hold the same meaning for you as pearls do for us?

Indian: Well, not quite. Anybody can open an oyster!

Name Infant Tree
Action Equipment a sappling and a bunch of scouts Preparation hiding places for scouts Action a bounch of scouts starts runing around yelling "THE INFANTRY IS COMING" over and over again (optional: you can have scouts planted in the audience). once all of the scouts have hidden, one scout comes out with the sappling and a plant in the audience yells 'what's that?' the scout replies, 'the infant tree'
Name In the Furniture Store
Action You need a furniture store salesman and a customer who knows what is happening. Before the salesman can sell anything, he needs stock. Call for volunteers from the audience: four to lie down to make the rug; three to crouch as the couch; one or two chairs; a lamp; and most important, one good natured fellow to get down on all fours as the coffee table. When all are ready, a customer enters and asks to see a couch. The salesman shows him the furniture, extolling its high quality and low price. He pays particular attention to the coffee table: beautiful, sturdy, mark and mar-proof, etc.

The customer shows some interest. The salesman pats and wiggles the coffee table to show how firm and steady it is, then picks up a cup (empty) and says something like, "See this cup of water? Pretend it's coffee. When it sits on this table, you know it will never spill!" He places the cup between the shoulder blades of the coffee table and jiggles it gently. "See!" The customer says he'll think about it and leaves. The dejected salesman dismisses all the furniture except the coffee table and leaves. The coffee table tries to figure out how he will get up without spilling what he thinks is a cup of water all over himself. Cheer him on!

Name Is Anyone Brave Enough To Look at this Monster?
Action Leader: Is anyone brave enough to look at this monster?

(You may have had to prime some volunteers first).

As the hands go up, they look at the face under the blanket, and fall back in mock horror.

After this has happened several times, you select some unsuspecting adult in the circle, and ask the question. If they agree, the blanket is lifted, but the "monster" falls back with fright!

Name Is a Train Comin' Today?
Action Grandma, Grandpa Setting: Train Station

Grandma: (In old voice) Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the south today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the south, returns, and in an old voice,) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the north today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the north, returns.) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the east today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the east, returns.) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the west today?

Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the west, returns.) No, Grandma.

Grandma: Good. We can cross the tracks now.

Name Is Captain Kidd Afraid of Himself?
Action Cast: Captain Kidd, Other people walking by, Mirror

Setting: Street

C.K.: I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, ugliest pirate to roam the seas. Watch this. (Tries to scare first man walking by.)

Man: I'm not scared of you!

C.K. keeps on trying to scare people going to work ("Late for work!") walking the dog (Dog runs up and starts to play with C.K.) kids (they laugh, "Hey! Halloween isn't till next month!") and so on. Finally, he's quite dismayed.

C.K.: Hmm. Maybe I'm not so scary after all. Maybe I should go into movies. (Looks at himself in the mirror.) Ahhh! (Runs away scared.)

Name Is It Time Yet?
Action Version 1:

Have several boys standing in a line (facing the audience) with one arm on the next boys shoulder. The first boy in line looks at the second and asks the second boy, "IS it time yet?" The second boy asks the third boy the same question and so on down the line. The boy at the end of the line looks at his watch and says to the boy next to him, "No, its not time yet," and this continues on up the line to the first boy in the line again with each boy saying it in turn. This can continue a couple times; then when it gets to the last boy, he says, "It's time!" and when the message gets back to the first boy each boy moves his arm from the other's shoulder and puts his other arm on the boy next to him.

Version 2:

Line of 5-8 Scouts standing with left foot crossed over right, right arm crossed over left.

First Scout in line asks: "IS IT TIME YET?" -

Second Scout asks third, etc down the line.

Last Scout says: "NO"

Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time.

After a lonnnnnnnng pause, First Scout asks: "IS IT TIME YET?"

It goes down the line as before.

Last Scout says: "NO"

Again and the word is passed back.

Another long pause...............

First Scout asks again: "IS IT TIME YET?" etc and,

Last Scout says: "YES" the answer is passed back. Just after the first Scout gets the word, they all change to right foot over left and left arm over right.

Version 3:

Text from Best of Leader Magazine Cut Out pages:

Six to ten players sit in a line facing the audience, legs stretched out in front of them, left leg crossed over right at the ankle. The player at one end asks the one beside him, "Is it time yet?" The question passes from person to person down the line. The last player looks at his watch and tells the person beside him, "No, not yet." The reply passes from player to player back up the line to the first person. Players send question and answer up and down the line three or four times, each time becoming more and more impatient and fidgety. Finally, the end player replies, "Yes, it's time now." The news passes from one to another up the line to the first player who says, "Oh, thank goodness!" At this point, all the players uncross their legs and re-cross them right over left.

Version 4: Five people are sleeping side by side in a tent. A little guy on one end, the scoutmaster on the other.

After a 10-second wait, the little guy climbs over everyone, shakes the Scoutmaster awake, and asks, "Is it time yet?"

"No, it's not time yet, go back to sleep" The little guy crawls back.

After a 10-second wait, the little guy climbs over everyone, shakes the Scoutmaster awake, and asks, "Is it time yet?"

"No, it's not time yet, go back to sleep" The little guy crawls back.

After a 10-second wait, the little guy climbs over everyone, shakes the Scoutmaster awake, and asks, "Is it time yet?"

"Yes, it is time!" Everyone gets up, then goes back to sleep in a different order. Something like 1,2,3,4,5 => 4,1,5,3,2. (Omigod, I specified a permutation in a scout skit. There is no hope for me.)

Name Is There Life on Other Planets
Action Characters: Roger Rabbit, Bugs Bunny, Silvester, Tweedy Bird, Raphael, Casper.

Setting: A conference room. Characters are seated with there backs to the audience. The characters do not face the audience until the end of the skit.

Roger Rabbit: (stands) Ladies and gentlemen. Please come to order. I have called you here today to make an important announcement. I am sorry to tell you that after exhaustive studies, we have come to the conclusion that there cannot possibly be any life on the planet nearest us.

Bugs Bunny: but what about the changes in color from white to green that have been observed on the planet's surface? Don't these indicate weather changes and some kind of atmosphere?

Roger Rabbit: All tests show that there is some atmosphere on the planet, but it is not enough to sustain life as we know it.

Silvester: Then how do you account for the ditches or canals that have been seen with our telescopes?

Roger Rabbit: Latest viewing indicate that these are merely natural ground formations, and there is no proof whatever that they are made by any living beings.

Tweety Bird: Then we must conclude that the flying saucer stories are all hoaxes?

Roger Rabbit: No, of course not. Most of these sightings have perfectly logical, scientific explanations, and the rest are the direct result of mass hysteria.

Raphael: Then all the strange sounds picked up on radio receivers come from our own transmitters or are produced by atmospheric disturbances?

Roger Rabbit: I'm afraid so.

Casper: I, for one, am extremely disappointed. I've always been sure we had neighbors on other planets, or at least on the one nearest to us. Perhaps not life as we know it, but some kind of intelligent life, totally unknown to us.

Roger Rabbit: Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to adjourn this meeting. I can see no point in discussing this matter further. The tests have been so conclusive that any intelligent person must accept the fact that there is no life on (Pause)

All: (stand and turn to audience) Earth!

Name Its All Around Me!
Action You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"

"What? What's all around you?" the first player asks. The other replies,

"My belt, of course!"

Name I Gotta Go Weee!
Action Cast: Patrol asleep (ie. lying down) in tent

Scout 1: Scouter, I gotta go wee!

Scouter: Go back to sleep.

Scout 1: (A little later) Scouter, I gotta go wee!

Scouter: Go back to sleep!

Other Scouts wake up and mumble, "Aw, keep quiet," "Stop whining," "You're keeping us awake," etc.

Scout 1: (A little later) Scouter, I gotta go wee!

Scouter: (Annoyed) Go back to sleep!

Other Scouts wake up and mumble, "Aw, keep quiet," "Stop whining," "You're keeping us awake," etc.) (continues once or twice more. Finally,

Scout 1: But Scouter, I really gotta go Wee!

Scouter: (Really annoyed and exasperated) Fine, Johnny, GO WEE!

Scout 1: (Sits up, starts wiggling arms and calls out,) WEEEEE! WWWEEEEEEEEEEE!

Name I'm Gonna Get You!
Action Cast: Murderer, BUTTER knife, Jar of peanut butter, Sleeping Family Members

Setting: In House at Night When All Are Asleep

Thief is looking around the house, with a flashlight perhaps and holding the BUTTER knife (anything else would be overkill, and dangerous) and is always saying, "I'm gonna get you!" in a way that COULD suggest he's trying to find the members to kill them in their sleep. Be CAREFUL to only make references that are VERY vague. He goes around in the different rooms of the house, sometimes saying, "Not here," perhaps in reference to sleeping people. Finally,

Murderer: Ahh! They sure do keep the peanut butter in a crazy place in this house! (Starts to enjoy the PB using the butter knife.)

Name I'm Russian!
Action One of those skits that may be inappropriate.

Cast: 4 Russians, 1 Person late for work

All actors come out one at a time, using Russian accents except the last person.

#1: (Comes out) I'm Russian!

#2: I'm Russian! Thank you! (Bows.)

#3: I'm Russian! Qvestions?

#4: I'm Russian!

#5: I'm late for work and I'm rushin' too!

Name I Saw a Bear
Action You get three to a dozen people all in a row, each doing the same thing. They should be volunteers, except for one the one who is leading it, who is on the end.

The leader:"I saw a bear!"

"Where?" say all the volunteers

"There!" says the leader, and the leader points in some direction, and the volunteers all do too.

You do this over and over again, but the leader does something different every time. The volunteers (and the leader) have to keep doing all the previous things. Eventually you are squatting down with your legs crossed and arms pointed in a knot or something, then the guy leading it falls sideways and knocks everyone down like dominoes.

Name 'I Would Rather Be' Song
Action Characters form into a line across the stage area in order of appearance, character 1 on one end, and the last character on the other end of the line. Each person steps forward 1 big step as he does his character, and then steps back into line when done.

Chorus I: (Everyone) If I weren't a cubscout ______ there's nothing I'd rather be. If I weren't a cubscout

1st person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.

Chorus II: (Everyone) And as you pass him by you'll always hear him cry...."

1st person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)

Chorus I: (Everyone)

2nd person: (Steps forward) A ________ I would be.

Chorus II: (Everyone)

2nd person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)

1st and 2nd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE)

Chorus I: (Everyone)

3rd person: (Steps forward)A ________ I would be.

Chorus II: (Everyone)

3rd person: (Does line and actions for character TWICE)

3rd and 2nd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE)

1st, 2nd and 3rd person: (Do lines and actions for characters ONCE) etc, until last character has been presented...

Chorus: (Everyone)If I weren't a Cubscout ______there's nothing I'd rather be.

If I weren't a Cubscout ______Why, there's NOTHING I'd rather be!!!

Characters and lines:

Robin Hood - Rob from the Rich, Give to Poor, Come on Little John, let's get some more. King's Cook - Blackbirds, Pig Fat, Stir it in big vat King's Torturer - Pull the lever, turn the wheel, that'll teach you not to steal King of England - Blackbirds! Blackbirds! you know I hate this pie King's Executioner - Drum rolls, heads roll, how I love my job Court Jester - Please laugh, don't cry, I don't wanta die. Merlin - Backbirds, Pig Fat, Sir it in a big vat. Knight - bang, clink, clang, how am I supposed to fight in this thang Queen of England - Pussy cat, Pussy cat, get out from under my chair

This version was from David Robertson - Cubmaster Pack 399 - ASM - Troop 83 Rockwall, Texas

Either post them to the list, or send to me and I will compile in a week or so.

Name Jailhouse Skit
Action Equipment: None
Preparation: Have 3-5 scouts pretend to be behind jail bars. Each should pretend to be in a different 'cell.'

Action: Characters: 3-5 'jailbirds,' jailer, new inmate.

Jailer (as he escourts the new inmate to his cell) OK, here is your new home. Don't expect to get out anytime soon !! (Jailer laughs maniacally as he leaves.

Jailbirds taunt new inmate. After a few moments of silence ...)

Jailbird 1 (yells): Five !! (Other jailbirds laugh hysterically while new inmate looks confused).

Jailbird 2 (yells): Twenty-Two !! (Other jailbirds laugh while new inmate looks even more confused).

Jailbird 3 (yells): Forty-Three !! (Other jailbirds laugh while new inmate continues to look confused). (This can go on for several jailbirds depending on the # of scouts available. When all jailbirds have had their 'turn,' a moment of silence and then ...)

New Inmate: I don't understand ! What's going on ? Why is everybody laughing ?

Jailbird 1: Well, we've been here so long that we have memorized every joke we know.

Jailbird 2: So to save time, we just give each joke a number.

New Inmate: Gee, I think I'll give it a try ... (yells) Seventy-Five !! (absolute silence - no one laughs)

New Inmate: What did I do wrong ?

Jailbird 3: I guess some people just can't tell a joke !

Name JC Penney
Action Version 1:

One Scout is standing on stage. A Second Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "Those are nice shoes. Where did you get them?" The Second Scout says, "J. C. Penny [J.C. Penny is a department store in the USA.] " and walks off.

A Third Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "That's a nice shirt. Where did you get it?" The Third Scout says, "J. C. Penny" and walks off.

A Fourth Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "That's a nice pair of pants. Where did you get them?" The Fourth Scout says, "J. C. Penny" and walks off.

A Sixth Scout walks up. The First Scout says, "That's a nice hat. Where did you get it?" The Sixth Scout says, "J. C. Penny" and walks off.

A Seventh Scout walks up wearing only a towel. The First Scout says, "Who are you?" The Seventh Scout says, "I'm J. C. Penny."

Version 2:

Cast: Person standing on street, 3 Friends passing by, JC Penny in underwear/swim suit only

Setting: Street Corner

Remember that all of the friends come from the same side of the stage, and leave on the same other side (ie. all are walking in the same direction.)

Person: Hey, Frank! Nice to see you! Hey, I like those shoes! Where'd you get them?

Frank: JC Penney! Look, I gotta run! Bye!

Another friend comes up.

Person: John! Nice shirt! Where did you get it?

John: JC Penney! Real nice clothes! See you!

Another friend shows up.

Person: Steve! Hey! The pants! I love 'em. Where'd you get 'em?

Steve: JC Penney! Bye!

JC Penney comes running through.

Person: Hey! Who are you? Why are you running around like that?

JC: I'm JC Penney! I'm trying to get my clothes back!

Version 3:

CAST: STORE CLERK J.C. PENNEY CUSTOMERS (as many as desired)

PROPS: Table for checkout counter Cash register(optional) Towel Various articles of clothing (Suggest Cub Scout uniform parts)

SETTING: Clerk in store.

1ST BOY: Hi. Do you have a Cub Scout neckerchief?"

CLERK: Yes we do. Just a minute. (Clerk goes off stage or behind a curtain. Sounds of a scuffle are heard. Clerk returns with neckerchief, customer pays and leaves)

2ND BOY Do you have a Cub Scout shirt? (same thing happens)

3RD BOY: Do you have a pair of shoes?"

CLERK: Let me see... (goes off stage same thing happens) You're in luck, we have one pair left in that size.

4TH BOY: Do you have a pair of socks?

CLERK: Hmmmm, let me check." (Same thing) Yep, we got a pair"

5TH BOY: Do you have a pair of Cub Scout pants?"

CLERK: No we're all sold out. How about shorts"

5TH BOY: That would be OK"

(Same thing but when clerk returns and starts to ring up sale, boy from offstage or behind the curtain walks out wrapped in a towel.)

J.C. PENNY: (Grabs the shorts.) That's the last straw! I quit this crummy job. (Walks offstage.)

Name JEB AND EBB
Action No campfire is complete without the two Hillbillies, Jeb and Ebb. Barefoot, jeans and plaid shirt, droopy hats and a bit of wheat or straw sticking out here and there.

EBB: Where ye been, Jeb? I ain’t seen you in four years.

JEB: I been off to college learnin’ ’bout spellin’ and history and triggernometry and such. What have you been up to?

EBB: I opened a pet store back home. Yes sir, you’ll have to come and see me sometime standin’ there amongst my dumb animals.

JEB: Well, make sure you’re wearin’ a hat so’s I’ll recognize you Ebb.

EBB: Why look, there’s a bunch of cows over there, Jeb.

JEB: Not a bunch, Ebb, a herd.

EBB: Heard of what, Jeb.

JEB: Of cows, Ebb.

EBB: Of course I’ve heard of cows, Jeb.

JEB: No, Ebb, I mean a cow herd.

EBB: I don’t care iffen he did hear us, Jeb. We was just talkin’.

Name Join the Army!
Action Cast: Army Recruiter, Trainees

Setting: Gymnasium

Recruiter: (To audience) Join the army and learn some great skills! You can become rough and tough like me! For instance, you can learn wrestling! (Two trainees wrestle on the floor) And how about judo! (Trainees do a judo flip) And Tai-Chi! (Trainees do Tai-Chi moves.) And my personal favorite, Karate! (Tries a Karate chop on a trainee; trainee blocks it, recruiter hurts himself and runs away crying.)

Name Joke Teller
Action A patrol of scouts are sitting around the campfire, eating their dinner. Every once in a while an older scout will yell out a number and all of the scout will laugh hysterically. All except one new scout who just looks around. Finally after three or four numbers have been yelled he the new scout ask his patrol leader about what is going on. The Patrol leader explains that at some camps they got in trouble for the jokes they told so they memorized the jokes. Each member just says a number in order to tell a joke. The Patrol leader gives the new scout a book of jokes to learn. The new scout finds a joke and yells "52". Nothing happens. He asks the patrol leader why no one laughed. The patrol leader says: "Some guys just don't know how to tell a joke!"
Name Jumbo Burgers
Action Cast: 2 People, Radio Voice

Setting: Park

#1: Boy, what a lunch! Those Jumbo Burgers were really strange -- but good. I wonder why they wouldn't tell us what kind of meat was in it?

#2: Oh, you know, they tell that, then people will expect the kinds of spices and other ingredients they put in and they'll lose their secret recipe.

#1: You're right. But I'm still curious.

#2: Yeah, but forget it. Maybe we'll go back tomorrow and have another. Let's turn on the radio.

Radio Voice: Jumbo the Elephant from Lodge's traveling circus died last night during a performance from a heart attack. And for this week's "Poor Taste" award, given to restaurants for serving poor quality food, goes to Richi's Burger House. It appears that they have been serving "Jumbo Burgers" whose origins seem to be a little vague .... (Guys realize what they ate and start to throw up.)

Name Jungle Interview
Action Cub 1: We're here to interview the jungle animals.

Cub 2: Tell me, Bagheera, how do you keep your fur so shiny and bright?

Bagheera: I rub it with baby oil, day and night.

Cub 3: Hey Kaa, you're skinny enough to slide, but tell me, how do you open your jaws so wide?

Kaa: I chew a lot of Hubba Bubba to keep my jaws just like "rubba"!

Cub 4: Baloo, how come your fur's so soft and thick?

Baloo: Ah ha! That is my trick.

Cub 5: Tell me, Hathi, how do all the animals hear your warning?

Hathi: I practise, and gargle with Scope every morning!

Cub 6: Howdy Raksha. How do you keep your fangs so sharp and bright?

Raksha: I clean them with Crest and steel wool every night!

Cub 7: Akela, why has your hair turned so grey?

Akela: You take my wolf cubs for a day: see if they don't turn your hair grey!

All: And that's the end of our jungle advice; we hope you really found it nice!

Name Karate Orientale
Action Once done with a Pirate theme whereby instead of having a karate expert, had a pirate who was good with a sword. No change in progression or punchline, though.

Cast: Karate Expert, 3 Muggers, 1 Mugger with a gun

Expert: I now can feel safe when I walk through the park and not have to worry about muggers now that I know karate from all over the world. For instance,(mugger sneaks up to him, gets a karate chop,) Hiii-Ya! I learned that Japanese Karate Chop in Osaka, Japan. (Another mugger sneaks up.) I learned this --(flips him) -- the Chinese Mugger Flip -- in Southern China. (Yet another mugger sneaks up.) I learned the Round the World Kick, like this one (does a turn kicks him) in Korea. So you see, I'm quite safe in the Park.

Suddenly another mugger runs in and shoots the expert dead.

Mugger: That was a shot from a .45 special I got from the Sears Catalogue!

Name Keep Canada Beautiful Contest
Action Otherwise known as "The Contest" in the Leader Magazine. Text from The Best of the Leader Cut Out Pages. You could just as easily do this as Keep America Beautiful or any other country for that matter.

Cast: 6 Cubs

Setting: Five Cubs Sitting in Their Clubhouse (indicated by appropriate signs) playing a game.

Cub 1: (Runs in, very excited) Hey, you guys! Did you hear about the big contest?

Cub 2: What contest? What's it about?

Cub 1: The "Keep Canada Beautiful Contest," that's what!

Cub 3: Are there prizes? A contest is no good without prizes.

Cub 1: Sure, lots of prizes. Neat ones like bicycles and radios, and lots of good stuff!

Cub 4: (Gloomily) I bet it's hard. Contests with neat prizes are always hard.

Cub 1: Nope! It's easy. Even the rules say it's SIMPLE -- in big letters. The winner is the one who picks the easiest way.

Cub 5: The easiest way to do what?

Cub 1: The easiest way to keep Canada Beautiful. That's what I've been talking about!

Cub 6: (With a swagger) Ha! Then I'm a cinch to win!

Cub 1: Why's it so cinchy for you? What's your great way to keep Canada beautiful?

Cub 6: (Takes out comb and combs his hair) See! That's the easiest way I know to keep Canada Beautiful.

The others look at him, then at each other. Quickly they surround him, carry or drag him to a large box marked TRASH, and dump him in.

Cub 1: Like he said, fellahs, we're a cinch to win! That's the easiest way I know to keep Canada beautiful. (they exit, laughing while Cub 6 stands up in the trash box with a disgusted look on his face.)

Name Knot Demonstration
Action A person comes out with a length of rope. He proceeds to give a knot demonstration some of which do not turn the way he expects. He has creative and imaginative names for his knots such as the double hitch back loop tie, clove hitch with a triple loop bight, etc. The last knot he ties is one that he says that a person can't loosen. The more they try to loosen the knot the more it tightens. He demonstrates a temporary version of this around his neck. He pulls on the knot when he is finishes and exclaims, "Oh no, I've tied the wrong knot, I've tied the permanent version, and leaves the stage choking.
Name Lawnmower
Action (One boy is on his hands and knees as the mower.) OWNER: [yanking imaginary rope, while mower splutters] This darned old mower, I can't get it going. I need some help. [gets help from another Six member]

1ST HELPER: So, you just want me to yank on this rope, and get it started, easy! [yanking rope]

MOWER: [splutters, bobs up and down]

1ST HELPER: I'm sorry can't seem to do it. Have you checked the gas?

OWNER: Yes, I have. Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else has a strong arm. [selects another Six member] What I need you to do is give a real good yank on the starting rope and make it run.

2ND HELPER: Sure thing. [yanks rope a couple of times]

MOWER: [bobs up and down, splutters, coughs]

2ND HELPER: Sorry, I can't do it either.

OWNER: What I need is someone big and strong. [selects Leader] (Leader will probably make some comments to throw you, but let him talk and get him to pull the rope.)

MOWER: [splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run]

OWNER: There, all it needed was a good jerk.

Name LAWNMOWER SALESMAN
Action CHARACTERS: 2 CUSTOMERS LAWNMOWERS, played by 2-6 Cub Scouts SALESMAN

SCENE: In front of a store

(Cub Scouts are down on their hands and knees representing lawnmowers. The salesman is waiting for a customer.)

CUSTOMER: (Enters) Hi! I need a lawnmower. Mine blew up this morning.

SALESMAN: Sure thing. Let me show you some of our models. (Pointing to first boy) Here we have our cheapest model. It has a stall free engine and is really a great model. Here - I’ll demonstrate.

(Salesman tries to start it by pulling cord.)

1ST BOY LAWNMOWER: BRRRRRRMMMM BRRRRRRMM BRRM BRM (then dies)

SALESMAN: Must have a bad spark plug. Oh well, let me show you another model. Notice the fuel injection in the front. It’s a very good machine. I’m sure you won’t have any trouble with it.

(Salesman tries to start it by pulling cord.)

2ND BOY LAWNMOWER: BRRRRR RRMM, BRRRRRR RRM, BRRRR RR RRM, BRRRRRMMM (then dies)

SALESMAN: They must have forgotten to put in the fuel.

(Using as many boys as needed, each may be a different model lawnmower. All of the models used do not start until the last one.)

SALESMAN: This is our last and final model. It is our most expensive mower, the Super Duper Lawn Queen. It has ten horse power motor. I’m sure this one won’t fail.

(Salesman tries to start it.)

LAST BOY LAWNMOWER: BRRR RR RRM, BRRRRM, BRRRM. (Then dies)

SALESMAN: I can’t imagine what’s wrong with it. Let me see if I can find someone to help me get it started.

(Goes to audience and gets someone, Cubmaster, or any adult in the audience. Asks person if he or she will come up and help start the lawnmower. Person from audience comes and tries to pull cord.)

LAST BOY LAWNMOWER: BRRRM BRRRM BRRRRMMMMM (really takes off.)

SALESMAN: That’s all it needed, A BIG JERK!

Name Leaders at Camp
Action Equipment Low table, sleeping bag, small shoes, mirror, and other items as called for by the script.
Preparation The fascinating thing about this skit is that everything appears miniature to the audience. The humourous aspects come from the actions, and the fact that you are poking fun at your Scouters.

Action The skit is staged like the picture. The two boys portraying the Scouters kneel behind the low table, which is covered by the sleeping bag to hide their legs. They place their arms across the table and put the small shoes on their hands.

During the skit they wiggle these "feet" to emphasize some of the happenings (like a cold washcloth on the face). Two more boys laying on a second table, heads hidden behind the chests of the first two, become the arms of the "Scouters". The scripting is designed to make the most of these arms (which are not coordinated with the minds of the bodies they serve.)

The concept is that Scouters Rick and Frazer have just been awakened (late?) at camp by a Scout who tells them they will miss breakfast if they don't get a move on. The 'hands' find a wash cloth and cold water and begin to wash a face, then pass both items from Scouter Rick to Scouter Frazer. Next you might use a mirror and comb hair, brush teeth, put on a hat and neckerchief. This is all done with appropriate comments and passing of items. Finally, the Scout returns to inform the leaders that they have been so slow that there's no breakfast left except cold toast, which is passed over to the 'hands', which in turn 'feed' Scouter Rick. The curtain comes down when Scouter Frazer calls out to everybody to get ready for Inspection.

You can tie your wording in to a recent camp, and devise your own lines, BUT, do remember to be clean, fair, and funny, and last of all, remember that you also have to face your Scouters after the skit.

Name Learning English
Action Yet another which may be considered inappropriate.

Cast: Narrator, French Person, Storekeeper, Border Guard

Narrator: This man (indicate French person) wanted to learn English so that he could go to the US to do some shopping. So he went to a store and bought a radio (transaction made with shopkeeper.) He listened to it all the time until finally, when he thought that his English was good enough, he went to the border.

Border Guard: Where are you going, Sir?

Frenchman: (Crackles a response, like radio with bad reception.)

Name Learning the Alphabet
Action Cast: Teacher, Kid

Setting: Classroom

Kid: (To teacher) May I go to the washroom?

Teacher: First you have to recite the alphabet.

Kid recites the alphabet BUT leaves out the letter P.

Teacher: You forgot the letter P. What happened to it?

Kid: It's running down my pants!

Name Letters from Home
Action CAST: 2 scouts PROPS: Two sheets of paper, envelopes optional. SETUP: Scouts are at camp and have just received mail from home. Scott and Robin enter reading their letters.

Notes: With this skit it is possible to put each boy's script on a sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they were reading the letter.

Scott: Gee, it's always nice to get a letter from home when you're at camp.

Robin: Hey, look, I got a letter from my Mom.

Scott: Me too. Listen, my Mom says she's writing this letter slowly, because she knows I can't read fast.

Robin: Mine says I won't know the house when I come home.. They've moved!

Scott: Oh, my Dad has a new job with 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Robin: Our neighbors started keeping pigs. Mom got wind of it this morning.

Scott: Oh, my goodness. My little brother came home from school crying because all the other boys had new clothes and we can't afford any for him. Mom says she got him a new hat and lets him stand in the window.

Robin: There was a washing machine in the new house. But my Mom put four shirts in it, pulled the handle and they disappeared. Guess it doesn't work right.

Scott: My Mom had her appendix out and a dishwasher put in. And, oh, my sister had a baby this morning. Mom doesn't know if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because she doesn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl.

Robin: Oh, dear, there's a P.S. It says, I was going to send you $ 10.00, but I had already sealed the envelope.

Scott: Well, it's nice to know things are normal at home.

Robin: Yep.

[Both exit]

Name Let Me Have It!
Action This is an old, old vaudeville stunt. It depends on the interaction between the players and the crowd. Overacting and showing off should be encouraged. The only prop needed is a length of rubber tubing, such as a piece of old bicycle inner tube.

The skit should be practiced, both for the greatest effect and for the protection of the Scout, who must know how to absorb the blow. The Scout turns his back to the Master of Ceremonies. He bends partly forward, and pulls the tubing over his shoulder. When the tubing is released, he falls forward and rolls toward the opposite shoulder. If he holds the tube properly, it will fly over his shoulder with a 'Snap!' He will not be hurt unless he takes the blow squarely. The Master of Ceremonies should know what is going to happen and how he should act, but he does not have to know when he will receive his long-distance phone call.

The Skit

The Master of Ceremonies is presiding over a Court of Honor or a campfire. A Scout runs onto the stage and interrupts him dramatically, " I have a long distance telephone call for you!"

The Scout has a length of rubber tubing. He hands one end to the MC, explaining that this is the phone line. "I'll get the line straightened out and connect you. When I say 'Ring-Ring', you hold it up to your ear and say 'Let me have it', and you'll get your call."

The MC looks skeptical, looks at the Scout, then at the tube, then at the Scout again and finally agrees. The Scout stretches the line and says, "Ring- Ring". The MC looks at the audience, then at the Scout, and plays dumb. "What was I supposed to say?"

The Scout walks back and repeats his instructions very patiently. He rehearses the MC, making him repeat the lines. They try again. The Scout stretches the line further than before. He says, "Ring-Ring". The MC forgets again.

The Scout goes through it all again. This time he gets the audience to help by saying the key phrase, "Let me have it!" With a big grin for the audience, he repeats this several times.

This time he stretches the tube to its limits, turning his back to the MC, bending over, and holding the tube over his shoulder. He looks at the audience. "Ready?" "Ready!" "Ring-Ring."

The MC looks at the audience and grins. Now he understands. "Wait. What am I supposed to say?"

The Scout frowns at the audience, loses his temper, and calls out, "Let Me Have It!" The MC lets go.

Name LEWIS AND CLARK GET LOST
Action Character: 4 Indians, Lewis and Clark

Scene: 4 Indians on stage, Lewis and Clark enter.

Lewis: Hello Indians my name is Lewis.

Clark: And mine's Clark, and we're exploring our way across this new land.

Indian 1: We don't think its' a new land. We've lived here for many moons.

Lewis: Great! You should know your way around very well.

Clark: And that's great because you see, we are lost. Could you help us find our way to the Missouri River?

Indian 2: Missouri River? Never heard of it.

Indian 3: Me either. I've heard of the Misery River, but it's downstream quite a ways.

Indian 4: I once ate some liver from a cow from Missouri, but I guess you're not looking for the Missouri Liver.

Lewis: You are all crazy. You've lived here all these years, and you can't tell us how to get to the Missouri River?

Clark: You must not roam much.

Indian 1: The may well be, but at least we aren't lost!

Name Lie Detector:
Action A transparent container (i.e. an old vase) and a coin with a string attached. The container sits on a table with a cloth over it. Have two guys start up a conversation where one tries to convince the other that the container and coin is a lie detector. The coin jumps up and down pulled by another person below the table when somebody tells the truth. The second guy doesn't believe the first guy that the vase is a lie detector. Punch line is that the boy with the container and coin says he isn't lying and that he hasn't lied in his whole life where the table falls over with the container revealing the boy underneath.
Name Lightening Strike
Action A group of scouts are out hunting along with the troop chaplain. The Troop Chaplain says "Look there goes a duck." A Scout using imaginary rifle takes a shot, and missing says something beginning with Dang. (Dang, I missed. Dang, missed again. Dang cant hit anything, etc.)

Each time the chaplain explains that he is the chaplain and cautions the Scouts for their language and that they will anger the Lord. Finally the chaplain being somewhat put outs says: "If you use that language once more, the Lord will strike you down on the spot!". Repeat the scenario, There is one, bang, Dang missed again. Then from outside of the campfire are is a loud band, One of the Scouts yells look out for the lightening, and the chaplain fall to the ground. A voice from outside the campfire says in a deep voice, "Dang! Missed Again!"

Name Lights, Camera, Action
Action This skit is performed on a Hollywood sound stage, you have a director, cameraman and actors: Doctor, leading man and maiden. The man is on his death bed, maiden runs to call for the doctor, doctor comes and says he can't help, with the maiden at his side the man dies in her arms. The maiden sobs on the doctor shoulder. The Director every time stops the movie here and changes the directions: Too slow, too fast, too sad, too happy,. The real fun comes from the actors following the instructions, fast is running and voices like bees, slow is slow motion, etc. (when the man dies slow, it takes forever.) The last direction is do it normal, everyone performs and the director is please, the director instructs them to do it again and says to the cameraman, now put the film in the camera!
Name Light's Better
Action between skits a scout walks to the front of the fire in the way of the MC and starts searching for something. MC asks "what are looking for?" scout replies with "my flashlight" (or whatever). MC asks "where did you lose it?" Scout points off in the darkness and replies "over there somewhere." while still looking for his lost item around the campfire. MC asks "well why are looking here then?" Scout replies "the light's better!"
Name Listen!
Action CAST: 4-6 PROPS: none SETUP: One person is moving along a wall/ground listening and listening.

Other people come along and ask him what he is doing. He says dramatically, "Listen," and the others do.

One of them says, "I don't hear anything", in a disgusted voice. "LISTEN", he says more dramatically and they listen some more.

Again someone says, "I don't hear anything." The original listener says, "You know," with a faraway look, "its been like that all day."

Name Litter Hurts
Action A scout comes out and begins talking about low impact camping and the importance of preserving nature. As he walks around, he sees a piece of litter and picks it up. He complains about the thoughtlessness of campers who litter. Next a scout enters and drops lots of litter in his path. Other scouts rush the littering scout and beat him up. Finally they pick up the littering scout and ask him if he has learn anything fro this experience? He answers painfully: "I learned that every litter bit hurts!"(exit holding injured parts of body.)
Name LITTLE BUNNY FRU-FRU
Action Little bunny Fru-fru, hoppin' though the forest, Scoopin' up the field mice and battin' them on the head. Along came the good fairy, and she said: "Little bunny Fru-fru, I don't want to see you Scoopin' up the field mice and battin' them on the head. I'll give you three chances to change your ways, and if you don't obey, I'll turn you into a goon."

So the next day . . . [Repeat-two more chances . . . ] So the next day . . . [Repeat-one more chance . . . ] So the next day . . . [Repeat]

"I gave you three chances to change your ways and you didn't obey, so now I'm turning you into goon. Pooff! You're a goon.

And the moral of this story is . . . . . . 'Hare today and goon tomorrow!'

Name Little Green Ball
Action First scout comes on and says 'Oh no I've lost it' He then starts to search around on the floor. Second scout comes in and asks what he is looking for. First scout replies that he has lost his little green ball. Both scouts continue searching the floor. Several more scouts come on and are told about the lost little green ball. even members of the audience can be persuaded to join in the search. After enough time has been dragged out, the first scout, sticks a finger up his nose and says "Don't worry I will have to make another one" YUK!!!!!
Name Little Wolf and Crazy Bear
Action Little Wolf: wolf howl Crazy Bear: bear growl Cowboys: Yippeeee" Buffalo: "Hides"

Now Little Wolf and Crazy Bear were from a tribe of American Indians who got their food hunting buffalo. They roamed the plains, always on the look-out for buffalo. But since the cowboys had come to their land, the buffalos were scarce. Little Wolf and Crazy Bear had a hard time finding any buffalo to feed their people. But they didn't have any trouble at all finding cowboys. In fact, they had to hide quite often so the cowboys wouldn't shoot them. Up and down the plains Little Wolf and Crazy Bear roamed searching out the buffalo and hiding from the cowboys.

One day, Little Wolf saw something moving through the brush and he called to Crazy Bear. "Hey, Crazy Bear, what is that?" I don't know, Little Wolf", replied Crazy Bear, "But it looks like it might be good to eat." Little Wolf laughed and said, "I think it belongs to the cowboys." "Well, I know it's not a buffalo" replied Crazy Bear. So Little Wolf, a true Indian hunter, pulled back his bow and the arrow went straight to the mysterious animal. Crazy Bear then went to work skinning and preparing it to take back to the tribe.

After all this work, the two Indian hunters were hungry, so they built a fire and cooked some of the meat. "This tastes too good to be a buffalo" said Little Wolf. "Yea" said Crazy Bear. "Those cowboys sure raise good meat. I wonder why they kill our buffalo?"

When Little Wolf and Crazy Bear took the meat back to the tribe, all the women wanted more of this meat. So the hunters set out to find the cowboys and find what this strange animal was. When Little Wolf and Crazy Bear came on the cowboy camp, it was early in the morning. The cowboys were still asleep. Little Wolf and Crazy Bear saw one of those animals sitting way out form the camp, so they decided to kill it and drag it away. "Hey Buffalo Bill, did you see that?" asked one of the cowboys. "Sure did" was the reply. "I see someone finally got Sitting Bull."

Name Living Xylophon
Action CAST: 5-6 PROPS: none SETUP:

The instrument consists of several kneeling performers. The player strikes each on the head with a fake mallet or his fist as if playing a xylophone. Each player utters a single note when struck. Simple songs such as "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" can be played this way.

Name Lobster Tail
Action Two Scouts enter a fancy seafood restaurant, seated by Host, given menus, they study and discuss the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders. One customer orders shrimp. The second says, " I'd like a lobster tail, Please." Waiter says appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two but faces audience, and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster......."
Name Looking For skits
Action The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers from the audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).

The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the 'Game Show' (thank you Vanna...)

After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding type work VERY well) are covered with sleeping bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket to resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags, or sheets or what ever you have handy) The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table, and don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.

Bring in the first contestant...

It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.

Bring in the next contestant...etc

This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.

Name LOST DOG
Action CAST: DAVE BOB

SETTING: Dave is crying

DAVE: Boo hoo hoo!

BOB: Hey Dave, why are you crying?

DAVE: (still sniffling) I lost my dog

BOB: Maybe he’ll come home.

DAVE: No, he won’t come home. He’s lost.

BOB: Why don’t you put an ad in the lost and found column of the newspaper?

DAVE: No. It wouldn’t do any good.

BOB: Well, why not?

DAVE: Because my dog can’t read!

Name Lost Gum
Action Preparation Needs about 4-5 boys to make this work. Action The first boy enters onto the stage whistling and while walking across the floor, stops and exclaims, "Yuck, I just stepped on bubble gum!" He pulls the "gum" off of his shoe, throws it down and walks off the stage. The 2nd boy walks onto the stage whistling, stops and yells, "Gross, I just stepped on bubble gum!" He pulls the "gum" off of his shoe, throws it down and walks off the stage. This is repeated by the remaining boys, except the last boy. The last boy walks onto the stage, stops, looks down at the ground and very happily yells, "There's my bubble gum!" and makes a motion with his hand as if he's putting the gum in his mouth.
Name Lost Item around Campfire:
Action First boy searches the ground around the campfire. Second boy: "What are you looking for, maybe I can help you find it. First boy: "I dropped my neckerchief slide." Second boy: "Where were you standing when you dropped it." First boy: "Over there." (He points into the darkness." Second boy: "Then why are you looking over there." First boy: "Are you kidding? It's too dark over there. You can't see a thing."
Name LOST MONEY
Action CAST: Several CUB SCOUTS

SETTING: 1st Cub is circling around and looking down at the ground.

2ND CUB: What are you doing?

1ST CUB: I dropped my money and I’m looking for it.

2ND CUB: Well, I’ll help you look

(Other Cubs come up one at a time and ask him what he is doing. He tells them he lost his money and they agree to help look. Eventually there are several boys circling around looking for the money on the ground.)

LAST CUB: What are you doing?

1ST CUB: I’m looking for the money I lost.

LAST CUB: Where did you lose it?

1ST CUB: Down the street by those houses.

LAST CUB: Then why are you looking for it here?

1ST CUB: Because this is where the street light is.

Name Lunch Break
Action CAST: 2 workers, announcer. PROPS: Lunch bags or pails. SETUP: 2 workers at a construction site at lunch time. Workers enter with lunches and sit down together.

Announcer: We see here a construction site. It is now lunch time, and two friends are about to eat.

Worker 1: (Opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh!! Egg salad sandwiches again!

Worker 2: Look, if you hate them that bad, I'll swap with you. (Both pretend to eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh!!! Egg salad sandwiches again!

Worker 2: O.K... I'll trade with you again. (Both pretend to eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhh!! Egg salad sandwiches again!

Worker 2: (Angrily) Look, if you don't like egg salad sandwiches, why don't you ask your (wife/mom/significant other) to make something else?

Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant other)?? She's got nothing to do with it. I make my own sandwiches!

Name Mad Reporter:
Action The scene is a bridge where a very depressed reporter is about to jump off (the end of the stage or a platform could be the end of the bridge). The reporter says that he has had it, can't get a big story, all washed up and wants to end it all. He calls out, one, two, swinging his arms when another person shows up and asks what is going on. He tells him his sad story which encourages him to tell him his; they both get depressed and decide to jump. They call out, one, two, and another person shows up. They each tell this person their sad story and he decides to jump to. Once more they call out One, ... Two, ... Three ! All the people jump except for the reporter who runs off saying; "I've got a great story, two people jump off the bridge. Wait until the boss sees this." A building could be used as well as a bridge.
Name Martian Mamma:
Action Mamma is washing dishes, back to baby. Baby says that he wants a drink. "Right in front of you dear", says mamma. Baby picks up green drink. Baby says that he wants Martian Cream Pie, getting real pushy, aggressive, and bratty; throwing the drink on the floor. Baby tells mamma that he spilled his comet juice. Mamma turns around putting out two fake arms telling the baby that she only has four arms.
Name Measurement Problem
Action Need: 3 scouts (2 older scouts and 1 cubscout).

(Two Scouts come on stage carrying a long pole. They prop it up, then stand back and look at it.)

Scout 1: Now, there are several ways we can figure out the height of this pole. How do you want to start?

(The Scouts unsuccessfully try various methods of estimation to calculate the height of the pole. The conversation goes something like....)

Scout 1: According to my calculations, that pole is about 2 m high.

Scout 2: There's no way. It has got to be shorter than that. Just look at it.

(This kind of exchange repeats several times as the Scouts obviously become more and more exasperated. A Cub strolls onto the stage.)

Cub: Hi! (he watches a bit) What are you guys trying to do?

Scout 2: We're trying to measure the exact height of this pole.

Scout 1: We haven't had too much luck, yet, but we'll get it.

Cub: Why don't you just lay the pole on the ground and measure its length?

Scout 1: (scornfully) Cubs!

Scout 2: I'll say. (To the Cub) Didn't you hear right? We want to know how tall the pole is - not how long it is

Name Medical Genius:
Action Setting is the office of a famous psychiatrist. He is seated behind a table. Nurse brings in a patient with a flowerpot on his head. Another patient enters and runs around, waving his arms as if flying. Next patient keeps brushing his clothes and complains about bugs crawling on him. Doctor says: "For heaven's sake, don't brush them off on me.!"
Name Mike the Midget
Action This is a Tim Conway sketch. You set up a puppet-theater like stage. Mike the midget is really two people. One person's head shows, and his arms are in pants and sneakers are on his hands. The other person stands behind, and puts their arms through a shirt, pretending to be the arms of Mike the Midget. Try having the hands slap a fly, or scratch the chin or head. Try having the feet do a dance, or fight with the hands. I don't remember any text to this.
Name MILESTONES IN THINGS THAT GO.
Action Here's a skit that has a special added attraction - the audience can join in the fun as they try to guess the famous names in transportation history.

To present this verse skit, you can use 10 Cub Scouts - one for the Narrator and one to deliver each verse. If you have fewer Cub Scouts, they can say more than one, just change the placard. Make a placard for each verse with the famous person's name printed on the back. Print the name large enough on the placard for the audience to see clearly. Attach the placard to the actor's back. After the actor has delivered his verse (allowing the audience a little time to try and guess the name of the person he represents), the actor turns around to reveal the name on the placard. The Narrator recites the first two verses. No costumes or scenery are required.

NARRATOR: Transportation through the years Has changed, we are aware, Because some men had vision, And were not afraid to dare.

Although we see the evidence of all that they have done, Let's see if you can guess their names Presented, one by one.

1. We bet you don't know our name, But we first gave man his wings, As we soared aloft in a balloon And made men feel like kings! Who are we? (Montgolfier Brothers)

2. Until I came along and helped, Fast boats were just a dream, For I got rid of sails and oars; I gave the boat its steam! Who am I? (Robert Fulton)

3. I gave to life its "ups and downs," So many men would say The elevators makes tall buildings Possible today. Who am I? (Elisha Otis)

4. As people peddle down the street, From grannies to little tykes, They all owe me a debt of thanks, 'Cause I invented bikes! Who am I? (Pierre Lallement)

5. As trains crisscross the continents, My humble head is bowed. "Father of the locomotive" is The name of which I'm proud. Who am I? (George Stephenson)

6. As soon as you say "airplane," Our name quickly comes to mind; But when we started, pilots were Quite difficult to find. Who am I? (Wright Brothers)

7. Though I did not invent it, I played a major part In mass-producing autos. I'd say I gave the car its start! Who am I? (Henry Ford)

8. "Father of the modern rocket" Is the title I enjoy. So when he takes you to the moon, Remember, that's my boy! Who am I? (Robert H. Goddard)

9. I'll have a fuel-less motor That will hit the marketplace, And stop pollution of all kinds And go faster into space. Who am I? (You?)

Name Military Genius:
Action Sergeant is drilling a group of uniformed men, who are a pretty sloppy lot - shoestrings untied, shirt tails out, collars unbuttoned, hats at odd angles etc. Sergeant drills in a march, but they go in the wrong directions, trip while turning, and so on. Finally, he has of the group marching left and the other half marching right. He instructs them to reverse direction and turn and march toward each other. Instead of passing between each other, they meet head on and all fall down. Sergeant weeps bitterly into a large handkerchief, steps among the prostrate bodies and pretends to jump up and down on them.
Name Mind Reading
Action The mind reader sits behind a table with a number of slips of paper before him. One at a time he names a famous person and his or her good turn. He writes the name of the person on a slip of paper, folds it in half, and places the slip in a clear glass. He then asks someone to come up and take a slip of paper out of the glass, look at it, but do not tell him the name written upon it. The mind reader then pours water into the glass and stirs until they are thoroughly saturated. He then pours off the water into another glass and throws the paper away into a waste basket. After examining the water in the glass, he announces the name of the slip drawn. Solution: Write the name of the first person named onto every slip of paper.
Name Missed
Action Scene 1: Guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.

Scene 2: Same guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.

Scene 3: Same guy says. "If I don't get it this time, I'll shoot myself!" Juggles balls. Drops one. Exits (Sound of gunshot)

Same guy re-appears, snaps fingers and says, "Missed!"

Name MISTER BONES
Action CAST: MR. JONES MR. BONES CHOIR, behind Mr. Jones and Mr. Bones with banjos and tambourines

COSTUMES: Boys are dressed like minstrels.)

MR. BONES: Mr. Jones, why does the chicken cross the road?

MR. JONES: To get to the other side. Ha! Ha!

MR. BONES: That’s not the reason the chicken crosses the road, Mr. Jones.

MR. JONES: All right, Mr. Bones, whey does the chicken cross the road?

MR. BONES: So she can see where she’s been.

CHOIR: (Stomp feet, slap hands, laugh, twang banjos, and shake the tambourines.)

MR. JONES: All right, Mr. Bones, why do hens lay eggs?

MR. BONES: I don’t know, Mr. Jones, why do hens lay eggs?

MR. JONES: Because if they didn’t, they’d break them.

MR. BONES: Mr. Jones, that joke’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

CHOIR: (Stomp feet, clap hands, laugh, twang banjos, and shake the tambourines.)

MR. JONES: If you had two horses and one of them went to the left and the other went straight ahead. Then the one went to your right and the other turned around and then the one went to the left and the other came back, what would you have?

MR. BONES: I don’t know, Mr. Jones, what would you have?

MR. JONES: A lot of horse maneuver. Har de, har, har!

CHOIR: (Stomp feet, clap hands, laugh, twang banjos, and shake the tambourine.)

MR. BONES: Mr. Jones, who was that person I saw you with last night?

MR. JONES: That was no person. That was my mother-in-law.

MR. BONES: Your mother-in-law? I thought it was your father-in-law.

MR. JONES: No, sir, my father-in-law has long hair.

CHOIR: (Stomp feet, clap hands, laugh, twang banjos, and shake the tambourine.) CHOIR: Sings: While the sexton rang the church bells Lard was rendered by the choir; While the preacher preached his sermon, Someone set the church on fire. Holy smoke! The preacher shouted In the rush he lost his hair. Now his head resembles heaven, For there is no parting there.

Name Mixed Body Acting
Action CAST: 4 PROPS: sheet or blanket, large shirt or jacket, various objects such as bowl with food, comb, shoes, SETUP:

Fasten a shirt backwards around the first person's neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second person stand behind the first and put his arms through the shirt sleeves. A sheet is held by two others behind the head of the first person, hiding the second person. The second person tries to do various ordinary acts such eating from a bowl, tying shoes, cooking and cracking eggs (on the narrator as one possibility) etc.

Name Mixed Up Magic
Action Child is told to clean room. The child hates to clean his room so he gets out his book of magic spells and use one to clean the room. Unfortunately, the room gets worse with clothes etc. thrown in >from offstage. This happens again twice. The child decides he might as well clean up this mess and proceeds to do so. When the room is finally clean, the child is ready to throw the magic book in the garbage. The child talking to himself says, "Enough of this Hocus Pocus". More stuff flies in. The child moans not again!
Name Mr Potato Head
Action Equipment: A flashlight , four people, story teller, volunteers pulled out of the audience
Preparation: the four people are told that they are part of a crumbling lighthouse.. old and falling down. The Story teller tells the story of the waves beating against the shores ( be creative and add to the story) The four people are back to back in a square and pass the flashlight around the outside of the square to the story tellers instructions.

Action: As the story teller tells of the beautiful shores and the waves beating one day one side of the lighthouse gives way and collapses... the story teller can do this by stoping the flashlight or pointing at one of the sides. (the side can fall over forward ) I need help from you to fix the light house... the story teller would get a person from the crowd and place them head first on all fours into the square under the one light house side legs that had colapsed (this means that their rear end is exposed to the crowd. This goes on with story in between each time untill all four sides of the light house have been collapsed and repaired. Then the story teller would finish by saying how strong the newly repaired lighthouse was and (elaborate etc) and the punch line is that the story teller says " and on a clear and beautiful evening all you can hear is the waves beating against its shores) -- all of the light house people reach down and paddywack the bottoms of the unsuspecting support people underneath thier legs.(not too hard just enough to hear a wave effect.)

Name MUSCLE BUILDING CHAMPS
Action CAST: 6 boys in uniform holding props as described below.

Setting: All boys come on stage and one at a time step forward and speak their lines.

ALL TOGETHER: We all excel in building muscles We’re champs at that, you see; Just listen to our stories And we re sure you will agree.

1ST BOY: I hold the title of strongest in my den Do you suppose it’s because of my friend?

(Holds up toy skunk. Other boys hold their noses.)

2ND BOY: I’m known as the den’s muscle man this year, Most of my muscle is between my ears.

(Pulls out small hat from behind his back and tries desperately to fit it on his head.)

3RD BOY: I hold the title of fastest of all, I’m first in line for the chow basket call.

(Pulls out bag of cookies and begins eating.)

4TH BOY: I’m known as the champion of the high jump, One time I missed and got a big lump.

(Rubs head, with painful expression on face.)

5TH BOY: To keep in shape, I exercise each day, I wonder why my muscles turned out this way.

(Removes sweatshirt to show colorful padding on arms and legs.)

6TH BOY: I’m the champ at making things disappear, you see, Watch us all disappear, as I count to three.

(He counts slowly 1-2-3 as curtain closes.)

Name Musical Genius:
Action The announcer makes a flowery introduction about how fortunate the audience is to have the opportunity to hear the splendid vocal group about to perform. After the introduction, the group marches onto stage and lines up across the front. The announcer states that their first number will be that appealing ballad "The Little Lost Sheep". Following a short musical introduction, singers open their mouths and produce a long, loud "Baa-a-a".
Name Musical Toilet Seat Salesman
Action A scout is a door to door salesman, selling Musical Toilet Seats: If you have some cardboard make props like toilet seats. Salesman approaches each home knocks on the door and sells the seat:

Salesman: "Good morning sir, I like to show you the newest thing in electronic technology. My company has developed the new musical toilet seat. Would you be interested in buying this modern day marvel?"(ham this up, plead beg, ect. be a door to door salesman) Customer 1: "Do you have one that plays Dixie?" Customer 2 asked for "Eat the Rich" . Customer 3 asked for "Star Spangled Banner" Salesman, I sure do, Here it is, I hope you like it. I'll come back tomorrow to make sure you are satisfied."

The next day the Salesman goes back and asked of each customer: How did you like the musical toilet seat.? Customer 1: "It was great, it played dixie and I sat there with a bucket of fried chicken enjoying each note. Customer 2: "It was great. I listen to the music while I read a copy of the Rolling Stone magazine." Customer 3: "I hated it, It just did not work out.

Salesman responds to Customer 3: "we have never had an unsatisfied customer, what went wrong? Customer 3: " It's that music. "Every time I sit down on the toilet, it starts playing the Star Spangled Banner and I have to stand up again!"

Name My Baby Elephant
Action Have one or two of your larger girls dress up in a gray camp blanket with sock trunk and Guide scarf ears (safety pinned together). One girl walks the elephant out into the ring saying it is a pet and can do tricks. Do a few - stamp out a number, trumpet, dance in a circle etc.

Then for grand finale, she can jump over a person. Have the "elephant jump over one or two girls lying side by side". Then add the "person to whom you would like to tease" Unbeknownst, the elephant has a water bottle or dish soap container loaded with water ready to squirt. On the final jump, as they jump, mention that unfortunately the baby is not yet toilet trained! The elephant squirts just as this is being said, it takes the crowd a second or two to realize its just water.

Name My Belt
Action One belt

A scout walk-on and says "it's all around me" "it's all around me"; in time a leader yells "what's all around you?" The scout replies "my belt".

Name Nanook
Action Nanook is an unusual young Scout who is very proud of being self-sufficient, and likes to tell us about his ability. He is a little uncoordinated, much to the delight of the audience.

This skit is best presented indoors with a relatively small audience, so Nanook's demonstration is appreciated up close. The skit is best if not rehearsed.

Preparation

Nanook is two people. One is seen by the audience from the waist up. His hands are inserted into a large pair of boots that are propped up on the table. He has a blanket-covered hunch back, which conceals the second Scout. The second Scout reaches his hands under the arms of the first; these are Nanook's hands. The visible Nanook should be a Scout who likes to talk and can keep a happy outlook in the face of some physical discomfort.

Collect all materials in advance, and plan the order in which they will be used. Encourage the Scouts to suggest ideas, but do not plan too many activities. The skit should not run more than 10 minutes at the most. A plastic sheet on the floor will help with the cleanup.

The Skit

The curtain opens, and Nanook is seated behind a table. The table is draped with a blanket or sheet so that the audience cannot see behind it.

Nanook introduces himself, gesturing with his hands. He knows that he looks a little strange, but he is a very capable and independent Boy Scout. He is very proud that he knows how to take care of himself. Nanook would like to show us how he gets up in the morning. As he demonstrates, he talks about what he is doing.

"First, I wash my face." A Scout brings a basin of water and a washcloth. He washes, getting water over a wide area.

"Then, I shave." Applies shaving cream and shaves. (Use a safety razor without a blade!)

Because the person operating his hands cannot see, the results are, well, interesting. He washes off the soap and dries his face on a towel.

Nanook then puts toothpaste on his toothbrush and brushes his teeth. He brushes his hair.

Once he has cleaned up and the washing materials have been removed, it is time for breakfast -- a good big bowl of oatmeal, which he eats with a large spoon. He uses a big napkin to wipe his face. "Umm, that was good!"

Now he is ready to face the day. All he needs is his hat, a knitted cap.

Nanook thanks all the nice people for coming to see him. He hopes they have enjoyed their visit!

Name Napoleon`s Last Farewell
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: none SETUP: The narrator walks to the center of the stage and says that he would now like to present for his audience, that historical event, Napoleon`s last farewell to his troops, after his defeat at the battle of waterloo. He builds up the atmosphere, by asking his audience to imagine these thousands of soldiers, weary from days of fighting etc. When this has been built up enough, 'Napoleon' enters, sticks his right hand under the left breast of his jacket, walks forward and says...

Napoleon: "FAREWELL TROOPS".

Name Nature Girl
Action Our Juniors have a favorite, I hope I can explain it in text because it involves quite as bit of 'attitude'!!

The scene is played over a number of times in different ways. The basic sketch is an acting set with a director. The players are:

The director Set Assistant (the person who announces the 'take' and raps the 'thingy' (!! ??!!)) The Nature Girl The mom The doctor The ambulance (made up of around 4 girls) The camera person

Nature girl in center of stage, Director to the side. Set Assistant enters.

SET ASSISTANT: "Nature Girl, scene one, take one" (exits) DIRECTOR: "Action" NATURE GIRL: " Hi, my name is Susie, I love nature, I love everything about it! I love the trees, I love the sky, I love the flowers, I love that snake....Oh it bit me.." falls to ground. MOM: (enters) "Oh no! My daughters been bit by a snake! Doctor, Doctor!!"

Doctor enters flanked by four girls, two in front and two behind carrying flashlights. They twirl flashlights over their head and say "Woo, Woo, Woo Woo".(like a siren) When they reach the fallen Nature Girl, the doctor leaves the 'ambulance' and joins mom at daughters side.

DOCTOR: "What seems to be the problem?" MOM :"My daughters been bit by a snake" DOCTOR: "I'm afraid it's dead" MOM: "Not the snake my daughter!"

DIRECTOR: "Cut, Cut, It needs to be happier. Let's try it again" CAMERA PERSON: "Director, Director....." DIRECTOR: "Not now, not now.. "

They play the whole scene again from the top. The Assistant snaps the frame and announces 'Scene one, take two". Only this time it is played overly happy!! They belly laugh through all the lines.Even when the mom calls for the doctor, and the doctor says 'It's Dead" (this plays very funny).

Again the director says 'Cut' and this time it's too happy and they need to 'tone it down'. This time the scene is played again (scene one, take three) very somber and monotone, with no feeling or express, (this is a riot!!). The assistant again runs up crying"Director, director..." , but the director says 'Not now."

At the end of this scene the Director says "Let's try something different, let's try 'Valley Girl style'"! This time through (scene one, take four) all the players say 'Like' in front of everything they say. As an xample:

Like, my name is Susie, I , like, love nature.etc. Like , oh, like, it bit me! Like, I'm afraid it's, like, dead. Like, what seems to be the problem?"

The really big joke is when the amublance arrives saying, "Like woo, Like woo, Like woo!!"

At the end of this version, when the camera person runs up saying, "Director, director..", the director finally says "What?" and the camera person replies. "There's no film in the camera!"

This is one of the best skits I have ever seen done at campfires and our troop thanks the 'unknown ' troop we saw perform it at Whispering Oaks last year!!!

Name News Flash!
Action Cast: Reporter, Editor, toy gun

Setting: Newsroom

Editor: Okay, you're new on the job, so I'll give you a tip. You have to go and get a current story. Something new.

Reporter: Right, boss. Great news.

Goes out, comes running back in.

Reporter: Boss! Boss! Two weeks ago John Doe died falling into a manhole!

Editor: That's old news. I told you, something more recent.

Reporter: Fine, boss. Something newer.

Goes out, comes running back in.

Reporter: Boss! Boss! A week ago there was fire downtown!

Editor: (A little annoyed.) That's still old news. Something even more recent.

Goes out, comes running back in.

Reporter: Boss! Boss! A car wreck two days ago!

Editor: (Annoyed) No good! Too old! Something new! That's why they call it news!

Goes out, comes running back in.

Reporter: Boss! Boss! Editor of a major newspaper got shot today!

Editor: (Interested) Oh really? Who?

Reporter: You! (Shoots him with toy gun, and the editor falls to the ground.)

Name New Blue Cheer
Action All items are imaginary.

SALESMAN: Ladies and Gentlemen. I want to introduce you to the greatest development in laundry products, New Blue Cheer! Even one spoonful in a bowl of water [demonstrates] will make our dirtiest laundry fresh and clean! Let me demonstrate. Now, I have some socks I gathered up around the tents. First of all John's socks. Dip, dip, dip, in the New Blue Cheer. Dip, Dip, Dip, and the water comes clear. Now smell. Ah, Fresh. Now Paul's socks. Dip, dip, dip, in the New Blue Cheer. Dip, dip, dip, and the water comes clear. Ah, Fresh. Now Akela's socks. Dip, dip, dip in the New Blue Cheer. Dip, dip, dip, and the water comes clear. [holds to nose] Uhgg! Dip, dip, dip in the New Blue Cheer.

Name New Saw
Action CAST: Lumberjack, store owner, announcer. PROPS: Chain saw (fake or pretend) SETUP: Owner is in his hardware store in a small north woods lumber town.

Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small north woods lumber town.

Lumberjack: (Enters) My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let me cut more wood, or I'm going to go broke!

Owner: Yes, sir! For only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own crosscut.

Lumberjack: (Handing over money) O.K. great! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly) There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half as much wood.

Owner: Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another try.

Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted) This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it won't cut half the wood of my old saw! I want my money back!

Owner : Yes, sir! Just let me check it out here. (Pulls starter rope)

Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)

Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh! What on earth is all that noise?

Name Nosebleed
Action One of those skits the kids can do really easily, but becomes rancid very quick.

Cast: Person with nosebleed, 3 Pedestrians, 4th Pedestrian

Setting: City Street

Nosebleed person is looking down at the ground. #1 comes in and looks around, then down, and mumbles,

#1: Hmm, what's going down, man? (No answer.)

#2 walks in, does the same thing, as does #3. #4 walks in, looks up for a moment, then asks,

#4: What are you guys doing?

Nosebleed: I don't know what these guys are doing, but I've got a nosebleed!

Name No Rocket Scientist
Action Setting: Rocket pilot in cockpit on one side of stage. Ground control with computer on other side.

Rocket Pilot: Mayday! Mayday! Engine on fire. Mayday!

Ground control: We read you. Hang in there. We're going to try and lock in on you with our computer.

Rocket Pilot: Well, hurry up! I can't hold on much longer. I'm surrounded by flames.

Ground Control: O.K. This is critical. Before you eject -- state your height and position.

Rocket Pilot: Oh, I'm about 5 foot 6, and I'm sitting down. Bye! (Pretends to push eject button and jumps out of cockpit.)

Name NO SKIT
Action A setup is quite good do something like make some announcents and then start anouncint that den so and so is qoing to give a skit. Then notice what is going on behind him.

Version 1

The first girl sits, crying (loudly) and the second girl goes up and says, "What's wrong?" The first girl whispers in the second girl's ear and the second girl bursts (loudly) into tears and sits down beside the first girl. The third girl goes on stage, sees the first two crying and asks what is wrong. The second girl whispers in her ear and the third girl breaks down and puts her face in her hands, sobbing. This continues until all the girls who wish to perform have joined the sobbing line (in my girl's case this is ALL of them!). Then the leader goes up, announces to the audience, that her whole Pathfinder unit is crying and says "My gracious, girls, what's the matter?!"

The whole line of weeping girls look up and loudly announce in unison, "We haven't got a skit!!"

Exit to wild applause!

Version 2

CAST: As many as you wish

SETTING: 1ST Cub walks on stage in tears. He carries on, crying incessantly and blowing his nose.

2ND CUB: (Enters) What’s wrong?

1ST CUB: (Whispers in his ear)

(They both cry and carry on.)

3RD CUB: (Enters) What’s wrong?

1ST CUB: (Whispers in his ear)

(They both cry and carry on.)

(This continues in the same way with as many Cubs as you need.)

LAST CUB: Why is everyone crying?

ALL: We don’t have a skit!!!

Version As cute as it is, it really only is a skeleton. Maybe you could use it as a gag to either place in the order as with any other skit, or get the campfire chief involved, so that when he calls up the group, you can make it look like they really don't have a skit. You know, call them up, have one person start to cry, another, and at the appointed time, have the chief ask, "Let's get a move on. Get your skit moving! We're having a campfire here." "But we don't have a skit!"

Cast: Leader, three or four Kids, Campfire Chief (in campfire blanket)

Setting: Tent Area

Swasin: (Crying on stage)

Kid 1: (Sees leader; goes to him.) Swasin! What's the problem?

Swasin: (Whispers in kid's ear.)

#1 begins to cry too.

#2: Hey! What's the problem?

#1 whispers in #2's ear, and he starts crying too. Continue with #3 and #4.

Finally, Campfire Chief comes around.

Chief: Hi! I've come around to collect skit names for the campfire tonight!

Hey! What's the problem?

All: We don't have a skit!

Name Nutty Fisherman
Action Center stage is a lad fishing from a can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad and asks "What are you doing there ?" Scout "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?" Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for." Scout: "I'm fishing for suckers." Passer by: "Have you caught any?" Scout "Yes you're the third today!"
Name Offensive Bus Passenger
Action CAST: 5-6 PROPS: socks SETUP: Several scouts are returning from summer camp. They all pile into a car.

One by one the Scouts start holding their noses, coughing, fanning the air in front of their faces, etc. They are all looking at a specific scout as this proceeds. One scout finally complains to the offensive scout that he is stinking everyone out. The offender says that it isn't his fault. The scout accuses him of a peculiar smell, and asks if he has taken a bath, washed his shirt, and finally asks if he changed his socks. The offender claims that he sure has. Irritated, the offender pulls a pair of dirty, smelly socks out of his back pocket as proof.

Name Oh-Wa-Ta-Goo-Siam
Action CAST: 1 PROPS: none (turban) SETUP:

A guru with a turban on his head comes out and sits down in the middle of the stage. Members of the audience are solicited to take part in the session. They are told to repeat the magic phrase after the guru. When ever this phrase brings enlightenment, they may return to the their seat in the audience.

All sit cross-legged on the guru repeating the guru's actions and words. The guru moves his arms and chants "Oh... Wa... Ta... Goo... Siam..." All chant with him. Keep it up for a long while. Eventually everyone catches onto the fact that they are really saying, "Oh, what a goose I am."

Name Oh I Have Some Rotten Eggs
Action Props: peanuts, various types of candy, and eggs, blown out and refilled with water

Song:

Oh, I have some peanuts, some peanuts some peanuts Oh I have some peanuts, I'll give them to you. (Oh oh I forgot this line - it is the same length as the following one - I think its "I'll give them for nothing") They're free and they're lovely Oh I have some peanuts, I'll give them to you.

While singing this you throw the peanuts to the girls sitting in front of you.

The song continues with substituting various candies for peanuts (usually with progressing quality).

The last verse is:

Oh, I have some rotten eggs, some rotten eggs some rotten eggs Oh I have some rotten eggs, I'll give them to you. (Oh oh I forgot this line - it is the same length as the following one - I think its "I'll give them for nothing") They're free and they're stinky Oh I have some rotten eggs, I'll give them to you

(while singing this you throw the water filled eggs (not completely full, just enough to put a bit of weight to them to the girls sitting in front of you)

Its quite funny, but you can only do it once..... oh, and our eggs didn't break when we threw them so the girls threw them back at the leaders :)

Name Old Movie Scene
Action CAST: PROPS: 1 or 2 flashlights, depending on the area to be covered. SETUP: Act out a scene as in an old-time movie. Any kind of simple script (western, heroine and villain, etc.) can be written. Must be dark. 1 or 2 scouts are setup with flashlights between the action and the audience. The actors move slower than normal, while the flashlights are flashed back and forth across the stage area. Experiment with how fast the flashlights are moved to get the right effect.

Run through a short movie scene. Just as the scene is about to end, the narrator says, "Oh no! Something's wrong - it's going backwards!" Then run through the whole scene backwards. Keep the scene short, to only a minute or two.

Name Old Socks
Action A group of scouts approach a scout and smell a foul odor. After some carrying on, the scouts determine it smells like old socks. One scouts says: "Good Grief, when is that last time you washed your socks? The Scout replies: "1959". The other scout says" "goodness, you mean you have not washed your socks in 35 years!" The Scout says " what are you talking about?" The other scout says: "You said you hadn't washed you socks since 1959". The Scout with a big grin says: "well what the big deal its only 2100 hours now!"
Name Olympic Drama
Action Have den line up on stage. One scout steps forward and announces that this is the first international exhibition of a new Olympic event. This is the cue for the rest of the scouts to grin as wide as possible. The narrator announces that this was the Standing Broad Grin.
Name OOOOOO A Bug!
Action Have a huge wag of chewing gum (or homemade modeling clay), green and black, lying on a plate in the middle of a table on the stage. First boy walks in, looks at the table and comments on how gross the bug is. Other boys come in one at a time commenting on how terrible the bug looks, that someone needs to step on it, not sure if it's dead etc. The last boy comes in asking if anyone has seen his gum, sees the gum on the plate and tells the other boys never mind picks up the gum and pretends to put it in his mouth and walks away. The the other boys comment on how disgusting and sickening that was.
Name Operation
Action The set-up is similar to the baseball skit with a horizontal poncho screen, except this time it's backlight with a Coleman lantern about ten feet behind it, so everything in front of the lantern and behind the poncho is silhouletted. The "patient" is brought in and made to lie down behind the poncho. He is then opened with a bow saw (with suitable kicks of his feet) and objects (mess kits, canteens, etc) are "removed" from "inside" his body. All of this actually happens behind the patient (closer to the lamp), but the screen makes it look one dimensional. For a finale, the patients head can be removed with an axe and he can get up and walk around the front of the screen with an oversized shirt buttoned above his head.
Name Over the Cliff
Action The Senior patrol leader arrives with his troop and begins to admire the view from the top of the cliff, upon which they are standing. He begins to organize things and asked for various items such as food, saw, matches, water, etc. Each time another scout says begins to look in his pack and tells the SPL that he either left the item at the car or lost it on the trail. The SPL get more angry with each answer. He finally asked who brought the tent. At last a scout says he did. The SPL says "Finally, no food, water, matches, or saw, but at least we have a tent. Okay pitch the tent." The Scout says :"But... but" The SPL screams 'I said Pitch The Tent! The Scout throws the tent over the edge of the cliff!
Name Painting the Walls
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: 2 coats, paint bucket, brushes, ladder optional SETUP: Leader is up front, about to continue program.

A painter wearing two coats pushes through the crowd to the front, excusing himself. He excuses himself saying he is a painter and is supposed to paint this area. The leader asks him why he is dressed for winter. The painter replies that he was told to paint the room with two coats.

Name PAIN IS WHERE YOU FIND IT
Action CAST: DOCTOR PATIENT (Add extras according to the number of boys in den)

SETTING: Doctor’s office

DOCTOR: Good morning Mr. Smith

MR. SMITH: (Bending over in pain.) Oh...Oh...this pain!!!

DOCTOR: Where does it seem to be?

MR. SMITH: In my back. I can’t straighten up.

DOCTOR: When did the pain start?

MR. SMITH: This morning when I was getting dressed.

(At this point the Doctor examines Mr. Smith. He can call in other specialists to look at Mr. Smith too.)

DOCTOR: (Bending over and doing something to patients legs.) There now, try to straighten up.

MR. SMITH: (Flashing a big smile.) Doctor!!! My pain is all gone!!! It’s a miracle!!!

DOCTOR: Of course it has … your suspenders were fastened to your socks.

Name Panther Tracks
Action Two Scouts are walking along when they spot some interesting tracks.

Scout One - "Hey!! Look animal tracks! I wonder what kind of tracks are those?"

Scout Two - " They look like cat tracks, big cat tracks. Let's take a closer look."

Scout One - "Gee... you don't suppose these are Mountain Lion tracks, do you?

Scout Two - Down on hands and knees examining the tracks with a magnifying glass, looks up and proclaims with certainty; "No, these are definitely Panther tracks; absolutely no doubt about it".

Scout One - "How can you tell? They just look like big cat tracks to me".

Scout Two - "Its easy, you just need to be observant, look closely at the bottom of this track over here; see, there is an ant squished at the bottom. And there is one in this track over here too. The animal that made these tracks was purposely stepping on ants as he walked."

Scout One - "OK I'll buy that, its a big cat that likes to squish ants, but I still don't see how you can be so sure that it was a Panther?

Scout Two - "Why its easy, Just look at this strange pattern; (scout pointing to each track in turn) Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Dead Dead Ant, ....."

Name Park Bench (Fishing)
Action Preparation: (This skit is done totally in pantomime, and will be very effective if the actions and gestures are very clear and well rehearsed.)

Action: Three men are sitting on a park bench. Two of them are going through the motions of fishing (casting and reeling in). A policeman appears and is puzzled by their actions. He scratches his head and looks amazed. He asks (with gestures) the third man what they are doing. The third man gives the policeman the finger on the lips sign for quiet and indicates they are fishing. The policeman points out there is no water. The third man points to his head and makes the sign to indicate that the other two are crazy. The policeman suggests (through actions) that the third one take the two fishermen home. At this, the third man calmly picks up an imaginary pair of oars and starts rowing the park bench away.

Name Park Bench
Action Hobo; tattered clothes, charcoal rubbed on for whiskers.

Three boys are sitting on a park bench. The Hobo enters, looks longingly at the bench, yawns, and stretches. He walks around bench, but nobody leaves. He sits down on the end and starts scratching for fleas. One by one the others on the bench leave. Hobo smiles gleefully, stretches out and goes to sleep.

Name Pass the Pepper
Action Setting: Family Sitting at the Dinner Table, talking in a very thick Southern Drawl.

Ma: Pass the peppa, Pa.

(Goes down the line to Pa, who responds)

Pa: Here's the Black Peppa, Ma.

(Goes down the line to Ma, who responds)

Ma: No, not the Black Peppa, Pa.

(Goes down the line to Pa, who responds)

Pa: Oh. Here's the Chili Peppa, Ma.

(This goes on through different kinds of Peppa i.e. Banana Peppa, Jalepeno Peppa, Red Peppa, Green Peppa, and so on until,)

Ma: Can't you pass the toilet peppa, Pa?

Name Paul Smith
Action Man enters wearing a shirt; Compare asks, "Were did you get the shirt from?" The man answers "Paul Smith" and walks off. More Scouts enter one at a time each with a different piece of clothing. They all are asked the same question which is followed by the same answer. Finally a Scout walks on in just a towel and the compare ask who he is …he answers "Paul Smith".

From: Knockerdown Farm Parent and Son Camp, 1996

Name Peanuts
Action Version 1

Cast: policeman; three boys; police chief. (Policeman hustles scuffed looking boy up to boy sitting at the table marked CHIEF.)

Policeman: Here's a bunch of trouble- makers for you, sir.

Chief: O.K. constable. I'll deal with this. (dismisses officer, turns sternly to Boy 1.) Well, now. Why are you here?

Boy 1: (embarrassed) I threw peanuts into the lake. (Chief looks puzzled)

Chief:(sternly to Boy 2 ) Any why, then, were you brought in??

Boy 2: (defensively) I threw peanuts into the lake.(Chief scowls angrily)

Chief: (Bellows at Boy 3) And you! What have you got to say for yourself?

Boy 3: I'm Peanuts, Sir! (All exit)

Version 2

Cast: Judge, Bailiff, 3 (or more) Scruffy Guys, Peanuts (person)

Setting: Courthouse

Judge: Order in the court! Order in the court! Bring in the first case!

Bailiff brings in a scruffy guy.

Judge: What's your problem?

#1: Duh, I like to throw Peanuts against walls! Hic!

Judge: 30 days psychiatric treatment! Next!

Bailiff brings in two more such characters, one likes to throw Peanuts out the window, into a lake, likes to hit Peanuts with a hammer and so on. Judge responds the same way and becomes increasingly bored, saying "Oh, not another," "Why do they send me all the loonies," and so on. Finally the bailiff brings in the last, really scruffy, bloodied, shirt torn, no shoes, so on.

Judge: What's your problem? (Sigh....)

Peanuts: I'm Peanuts! (Passes out.)

Version 3

Cast: Narrator, 3 Scruffy guys, Curious Person, Peanuts

Setting: Building Roof

Narrator explains that these four guys are on the top of a building and looking over the edge.

Curious person: What are you guys looking at?

#1: I threw Peanuts over the edge of the building.

#2: I threw Peanuts over the edge of the building.

#3: I threw Peanuts over the edge of the building.

"Peanuts" comes crawling up to the top of the building.

Curious person: Who are you?

Peanuts: I'm Peanuts! (Passes out.)

Name Peanuts in the Lake
Action Each person has a handful of peanuts hidden away (except girl's peanuts which are visible), perhaps in campfire blanket pocket. All family members are present on the stage.

Cast: Girl, Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Cousin, Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother, Friend etc. and a Bag of Peanuts.

Setting: Up at the Cottage, Lakeside Resort, Beach

Girl: Gee! I've got all these great peanuts! I want to throw some into the lake! I'll go ask Ma if I can. Ma! Can I throw peanuts in the lake?

Ma: Are peanuts biodegradable, dear?

Girl: What?

Ma: Are peanuts biodegradable? You don't want to hurt the lake.

Girl: Gee, I don't know.

Ma: Then you'd better not throw peanuts in the lake, darling.

Girl: (On the side) I'll go ask Pa.

Repeat the scene through each person. Use appropriate hamming it up and histrionics, such as "Granny always lets me do whatever I want" and a hard of hearing, senile uncle. All still ask the biodegradable question, girl occasionally responding, "Bio de what?" "Biodependable?" ("No, Biodegradable!") sometimes being told, "You go to school, don't you? Ask your teacher!" She always responds that she doesn't know and goes on to the next family member. Finally, she gives up.

Girl: Well, I guess I'd better find out what biodegradable means, and if peanuts are biodegradable. (She leaves.)

Ma: Hey gang! She's gone now! Peanuts are biodegradable! (Throw peanuts into crowd.)

Name Pencils
Action Version 1

Man Wearing Cap Sideways (looking Goofy) holding pencils says, quietly: Pencils, Pencils, Pencils

People Walk by in disgust

Good Scout: Let me help you sell your Pencils

Vendor: Okay!

Good Scout: First you need to get their Attention first you must Yell "PENCILS!" Now you try it

Vendor: Quietly "pencils"

Scout: Louder

Vendor: a little louder "PEncils"

Scout: Really Loud

Vendor: Jumping up and Yelling at the top of his lungs: "P_E_N_C_I_L_S!!"

Scout: Okay, Now how much are they?

Vendor: Duh, I dunno

Scout: Say "3 for 5"

Vendor: 3-4-5

Scout: Okay are they Sharp?

Vendor: I dunno

Scout: Say Some are, Some aren't

Vendor: Some are , Some aren't

Scout: Okay if someone does not want to buy them what do you say?

Vendor: I dunno

Scout: Say If you don't someone else will

Vendor: If you don't someone else will

Scout: Good, that ought to help you have a good day!

Man enters holding magazine...

Vendor jumps up and knocks the magazine out of man's hands yelling ,"PENCILS!"

Man: Do you know how much this magazine costs?

Vendor: 3-4-5?

Man: Is the rest of your family as smart as you are?

Vendor: Some are, Some aren't

Man: Would you like me to knock your head off?

Vendor: If you don't someone else will!

Hope ya like it, quite popular in the San Joaquin area.

-- Thanks to Bill Warren, Scoutmaster Troop 515 Tracy CA

Version 2

A sales manager is trying to teach a dumb salesman how to sell. The manager tells the trainee to listen to him carefully and he will teach him how to sell. He gives him the following instructions:

1. Hold pencils in your hand and say, "Pencils for sale." Practice saying that.

2. Next people will ask how much they are so say, "Ten cents. Three for a quarter."

3. Then they will ask what color so you tell them yellow.

4. Now they will either buy them or they won't. If they don't buy say, "If you don't, someone else will."

The manager has him repeat the instructions back and leaves him on his own. What happens is that the trainee is left on his own and starts calling out pencils for sale when another person rushing by and the trainee doesn't notice him and they collide falling to the ground. They have the following dialogue:

1. The customer asks if he knows how much the suit cost and the trainee tells him ten cents, three for a quarter.

2. The customer getting mad asks the trainee who do you think I am, to which the trainee replies, "Yellow."

3. The customer really mad says, "Do you want someone to punch you in the nose." To which the trainee replies, "If you don't, someone else will."

At this point the customer beats up the trainee salesman and they leave the stage.

Name Pencil Salesman
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: pencils in a cup SETUP: A sales manager is trying to teach a dumb salesman how to sell. The manager tells the trainee to listen to him carefully and he will teach him how to sell.

[He gives him the following instructions.]

1) Hold pencils in your hand and say, "Pencils for sale." Practice saying that.

2) Next people will ask how much they are so say, "Ten cents. Three for a quarter."

3) Then they will ask what color you have, so you tell them yellow.

4) Now they will either buy them or they won't. If do buy say, "I would appreciate that very much."

[The manager has him repeat the instructions back and leaves him on his own. The trainee is left on his own and starts calling out pencils for sale. Then another person goes rushing by and the trainee doesn't notice him and they collide falling to the ground. They have the following dialogue:]

1) The customer asks if he knows how much the suit cost and the trainee tells him ten cents, three for a quarter.

2) The customer getting mad asks the trainee what do you think I am, to which the trainee replies, "Yellow."

3) The customer really mad says, "Do you want me to punch you in the nose." To which the trainee replies, "I would appreciate that very much."

[At this point the customer beats up the trainee salesman and they leave the stage.]

Name Pet Shop
Action Customer, Shopkeeper Setting: Pet Shop

Customer: I'd like to buy a turtle.

Shopkeeper: Well, here's one of the only three turtles I have left-they sell real well out here but turtle shipments are few and far between.

Customer: Gee, thanks! Just the kind I was looking for, too!

(Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is a little distraught.)

Customer: Look! He's dead already! How old was he?

Shopkeeper: Here, here. Let me see. Hmm. Look, having pets die on customers on the first day they buy them is bad for business, so here's a new one. No charge.

Customer: Thank you! That's so gracious of you.

(Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is more distraught.)

Customer: Are you sure these turtles are okay? This one died on me too!

Shopkeeper: Let me see. Hmm. Well, here's the last of my three turtles, and though I won't get another shipment for a while, you can have it for free.

Customer: You are the nicest man I know. Thank you so much!

(Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is hysterical and crying.)

Customer: What are you trying to do to me? This one died too!

Shopkeeper: Let me see this. This is bugging me too. Say. They all have scratches on the shells. Why? What were you doing with them?

Customer: (Sniffing) Well, I was only trying to give my car a turtle wax!

Name Pickin' Cotton
Action A guy is standing in the middle of the ring. Someone wanders in, stage left, carrying a boombox.

"Hey, nice radio! Where'd you get it?"

"Pickin' Cotton" and he continues wandering off stage right.

Another guy wanders in wearing a fancy shirt, stage left.

"Wow, cool shirt! Where'd you get it?"

"Pickin' Cotton" and he wanders off stage right.

Another guy wanders in wearing bright pants and fancy shoes, stage left.

"Awesome shoes, man. Where'd you get them?"

"Pickin' Cotton" and he wanders off stage right.

A guy limps in, stage left, beat up and wearing nothing except a towel wrapped around him.

"Who are you??"

"I'm Cotton!" and he limps off stage right.

Name Pickpocket
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: various personal items, and a pair of long underwear. SETUP: 2 pickpockets, Freddy Fingers and Hands Harry meet and embrace each other enthusiastically.

They tell where they've been in the last few years, and as they say good-bye, one says to the other, "oh, you may want this." He gives back his watch. The other one says, "Well, as long as you were so nice, you can have this back." and returns his billfold. This exchange of articles continues until Freddy hands back Harry's pair of underwear. Harry looks into his pants, and admits that Freddy is still the master of the trade.

Name Pie in the Face
Action This skit requires pie plates, shaving cream, towels, 3 plastic raincoats, or something similar (i.e. plastic bags). At least five people need to be involved. There is the narrator, the three members of the pie in the face team, and the person(s) who delivers the pies to the pie in the face team. This skit works best if everyone in the skit is serious, official, and ceremonious. Play up the ceremony and the official part of he skit.

The skit starts off with the narrator about the history of the grand art of pie throwing. He introduces the three members of the team who will receive the pie in the face. The team marches out and stands at attention.

As the narrator continues to talk a person comes out with three pies on a tray and hands them to the three members of the pie in the face team. The narrator describes the various pie in the face throws that have evolved thru the centuries. In every case the person in the middle receives the pie in the face. Examples of pie throws are the classic pie in the face, the pie on the top of the head, the double pie in the face, the pies on the side of the head, and the swing, miss and hit. You can have the person in the middle change places and still get a pie in the face. The last thing that happens is that the guy in the middle who was getting all the pies in the face gets the other two members of the pie in the face team.

During all this keep the members of the pie in the face team supplied with pies. This can go on as long as you would like. Another thing is wipe off the pie in the face team faces once in a while. Be original and creative with skit.

Name Plane Landing
Action CAST: 4 PROPS: none SETUP: Pilot/co-pilot and control tower operator/assistant are located on opposite sides of the stage area. Co-pilot makes engine noises.

Assistant: "I think that there is a plane overhead."

Pilot: (yelling loudly) "Pilot to control tower, "I'm coming in. Give me landing instructions!"

Tower: (in loud monotone as if through a microphone) "Roger, land on runway number 2."

Pilot: (loudly) "Roger, landing on runway 2 in 10 minutes."

Tower: "Control tower to pilot, why are you yelling so loud!"

Pilot: "Pilot to control tower, because I haven't got a radio!"

Name Play Ball:
Action The scene is set with an umpire, a catcher, a pitcher, first baseman, second baseman and third baseman. The players run out to their positions, start talking and acting like they're ready to play ball. The Umpire tells the players to play ball. Then the pitcher looks around with a worried expression and starts to cry. The catcher goes out to see what is matter and starts to cry as well. Follow the same routine with First, Second and Third Baseman. The Umpire finally asks in expiration what is the matter. The pitcher replies that they don't have a ball.
Name PLC Meeting
Action Scene: Six to eight players sit around a table scattered with papers, a couple of water glasses, etc. They mime a discussion, some jotting down notes, etc. Enter the narrator, outfitted as a news reporter. In confidential tones, the reporter explains that this is an important meeting of the Patrol Leaders Council, gathered on this occasion to make some very important decisions. As the narrator says something like, "Let's see if we can get a bit closer to hear how things are going", the group at the table add some mumbling and unintelligible arguing to their mime. Occasionally, they punctuate the din with outbursts such as, "No, no!"; "I disagree!", "That's better"; "No way!"; "That might work"; and the like. finally, the hubbub dies, the group settles back. One member stands and announces, "hen it's decided; a Large pizza with mushrooms, onions cheese, sausage and pepperoni., hold the anchovies." "All: Agreed!"
Name Poison Spring
Action One by one the boys drag on stage crying for water. Each reaches a bucket with a ladle and takes a drink, splashing some water to show there is really water in it and dies. Ham up the dying as much as you want. More than ladle may be needed so that there is plenty of water to slosh around. The next to the last person starts to drink from the bucket, when the last person comes in sees all the dead bodies and yells for the other guy to drink from the bucket, that it is poison. The last person throws the bucket in the audience which really only contains rice or confetti; only the ladles had water.
Name Pop Commercial
Action Have one fellow standing, holding an unopened pop bottle, the next holding a bottle opener (or stands ready to open the container, one hand as if holding the container and the other hand raised over it), the other two doing nothing. The first guy examines the bottle real close and passes it to third guy who guzzles it, pretend or for real, and passes the empty container to the last guy. This guy looks at the empty bottle or container with a sick look on his face and then burps as loudly as he can.
Name Post Office / King's Royal Paper
Action Version 1: Post Office

Cast: Post Office Clerk, People in line, Person, a few letters and small boxes, and one wrapped box with a roll of toilet paper in it.

Setting: Post Office

Person is last in line, clerk is behind a desk, serving people, box with toilet paper

1: 5 stamps, please.

Clerk: $2.00, please.

2: My mail, please. (Clerk hands it to him.)

3: This to Albuquerque.

Clerk takes it.

4: Has my package arrived yet?

Clerk: (Checks.) No, I'm sorry Sir.

Next day, same type scenario occurs, with person 4 always last in line, always asking for his package, which hasn't arrived yet. Each day this repeats, his legs become more and more crossed, he's more fidgety, more nervous, more anxious, more desperate, till finally, on the last day he's up again.

4: (Yelling out) Has my package arrived yet?

Clerk: Yes Sir! Here it is!

4: (Relieved, tearing open the box) Thank you! Now I can go to the washroom!

Version 2: The King's Royal Paper

Essentially the same type of cast plus a guard; you also need newspaper, a notepad, scrap paper, cardboard and so on. Have servants ham it up when their head is about to be cut off.

King: I want my Royal Paper!

1: Here, Sire, The Royal Newspaper!

King: No! That's not it! Guard, Off with his head!

2: Sire! Your Royal Writing paper!

King: Fool! Off with his head!

3: Your Highness! Here is The Royal Scratch Paper!

King: (Furious) If I wanted to draw I'd have called for Crayons! Off with his head!

4: Your Grace! Here is the Royal Paper! (Hands him the toilet paper.)

King: Thank you! (Runs off to washroom.)

Name Potted Plant
Action A scout pretending to be a delivery boy comes wandering through the meeting with a potted plant which he says is for Mrs. Mergertroid. He comes back through the meeting several times each time saying, "Potted plant for Mrs. Mergetroid." Each time the potted plant gets bigger. The last time he comes in carrying a small tree. Finally the leader says there isn't any adults here, just kids. Delivery boy looks at the card and says. "Oh for heaven's sake. I've been reading it wrong, the plant is from Mrs. Mergetroid For ; Name of some one in the unit."
Name Prayer to the Gods
Action Narrator: "Good evening Scouts! So what did you think of the weather to today?" [choose from below:]

-"It wasn't too great was it? That's because the weather gods of camp __________ were not pleased with us. SO, to make them happy, so that we'll have good weather tomorrow, we should offer them a little prayer. TO help us in the prayer, can we have a few staff members: _________ ___________ and ____________."

-"What a beautiful day we had today!! Right? We should praise the gods of Camp _____________ for the good weather. If we don't. we may not be so lucky tomorrow. To lead the prayer, as symbols of the whole camp, can we please have the following staff members: ___________ _____________ and _____________."

Narrator: "Now, listen carefully, our staff members. You must say these exactly as I tell you, and exactly HOW I tell you, or the gods won't be happy. You must pray to:

"Oh-wah - God of the water."

"Tah-jer - God of the sky."

"Kai-yam - God of the land."

(repeat the three names slowly and clearly. Have them repeat them until correct."

Narrator: "Now, you have to chant the three names, IN ORDER. First you start slowly, but each time you say it, you go faster, and you blend the three names together. Now let's try it.."

It should sound like this:

Oh-wah..... tah-jer.... kai-yam....

oh-wah... tah-jer... kai-yam...

oh-wah.. tah-jer.. kai-yam..

oh-wah, tah-jer, kai-yam

OH WHAT A JERK I AM!!!

Make sure that do it correctly or it will not come out right.

Name Presents for the Teacher
Action CAST: 4-6 PROPS: presents for teacher, box SETUP: Kids are bringing in presents for their teacher on the first day of school.

The teacher can tell what the child's parents does by the present he brings, such as apples from parent's fruit stand, baker's child brings rolls, candy maker brings candy. The last person brings in a crudely wrapped package, with yellow liquid leaking out. The teacher tastes the liquid and states that his father must run a bottling factory. The child replies that no, his dad is a dogcatcher, and there is a puppy in the package.

Name Prisoner
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: none SETUP: A prisoner is being brought before a judge for robbery.

The policeman says that he caught him red-handed. Judge asks if it is true and the prisoner says,

"Well, maybe so and maybe not".

The prisoner is asked if he has stolen before and he replies,

"Mmmm... now then".

Judge, impatient now, asks where he stole these things and the prisoner replies

"here and there".

Judge tells the policeman to lock him up! Prisoner asks when he will get out of jail. Judge smugly says,

"Oh, sooner or later."

Name Puppy in the Box
Action CAST: 4 scouts PROPS: A cardboard box, and a stuffed dog (or rabbit, etc.) SETUP: Several participants are gathered around outside the store, chatting. Roger enters holding the box.

Roger : Hi guys, would you hold this box for me while I go into the store? (Exits)

Martin: I wonder what's in the box?

Gerry : I don't know, but something is leaking out!

Bob : (Rubs finger against the bottom of box, then licks finger) Hmmm, it tastes like lemon soda.

Martin: (Also rubs box and tastes finger) No. I think it's more like chicken soup.

Roger : (Returns, looks in box) Oh, you naughty puppy!

Name PUSH-BUTTON RADIO
Action Scene: One person is pushing buttons (thus changing stations) on a pushbutton radio. Offstage, five people read the parts below. The following radio programs are mixed up with hilarious effects -- a talk on Cub Scouting, a prize fight, a soap opera, a political speech, and a commercial on conflakes.

NOTE: Since this skit requires quite a bit of reading, it will be best for 10-12 Year olds, scouts or adults to perform. Rehearse at least twice. The first and last part of the lines are the most important. The second reader should begin immediately after the first reader finishes, erc. This is one time the actors should be instructed not to wait for laughs.

CUB SCOUT: Good evening, friends! Tonight, I am going to tell you about Cub Scouting. Cub Scouting is a home-centered program for boys, their leaders, their families and...

POLITICAL (passionately): ...scoundrels in high places! I say to you, we must send to Congress men and women of integrity who will stand up to temptation and say...

SOAP OPERA (with feeling): ...let me hold you in my arms, darling! Yes, sweet, come close... closer still... and let me put my strong arms around you, and then...

FIGHT (fast stoccato): ...a hard looping right to the stomach! Wow! Whatta fight this is, folks! Murphy swings a left to the jaw, a right to tht head, a left, a right, another right, and the Butcher goes down. He drops straight back on his...

COMMERCIAL (loud and brassy): ...large, economy-size package. Yes, friends, ask your grocer today for htis big, family-size box of Chlorophyll's Crummier Cornglakes... the only cornflakes with the built-in crumb! Once you have tasted Chlorophyll's, you'll say...

POLITICAL: ...how in the world can they do it? How can these men, these elected servants for the people, put politics before principle in such a brazen and outragous effort to advance their own selfish cause? There is only one thing that will put a stop to their selfishness. I mean none other than...

CUB SCOUT: ...a group of overworked den leaders. The answer to this, of course, is to select assistant den leaders who can help out where needed. When you ask someone to be a den leader, just walk right up and say...

SOAP OPERA: ...take your hands off me! Don't come near me! I cannot stand you... do you hear? I hate you...

CUB SCOUT: ...in this way, of course, a person is more likely to say "yes". And then there is only one thing to watch out for...

FIGHT: ...another hard right to the stomach! Now the Butcher is moving in, and Murphy's looking bad... very bad. He has a cut on his forehead and his left eye's swelling fast. In fact, he reminds me of...

COMMERCIAL: ...a soggy bowl of leftover cornflakes. So accept no substitutes! Always choose Chlorophyll's cornflakes for the crumminess you love to crunch. Start your day with a big bowl full of Chlorophyll's swimming in heavy cream and covered with strawberries... and a large heaping of...

POLITICAL: ...crooked politicians! Yes, my friends, I repeat to you again and again that dishonesty in government, whether local, state, or national, is a shame and a disgrace to our fair land. There is only one thing we can do about it. Only one thing will save our proud and mighty nation...

CUB SCOUT: ...four full dens in every pack! More boys in your pack means more boys to enjoy the fun and benefits of Cub Scouting, as well as more families to share in the leadership. With a full pack, a Cubmaster can look the den leaders in the face and say...

SOAP OPERA: ...Kiss me, you fool! All I ever expected from you was...

FIGHT: ...A hard right to the stomach! And I can see what's coming now...

COMMERCIAL: ...another bowl of soggy, leftover cornflakes. So remember, always use Chlorophyll's...

POLITICAL: ...because they're poison... yes, poison. The best solution to political dishonesty is...

CUB SCOUT: ...more and better Cub Scouting everywhere! (Curtain)

Name Push a rope
Action rope

Between skits a scout walkes across the council circle dragging a rope behind him. MC asks "why are you dragging that rope?" Scout replies "ever see someone push a rope?"

Name Quazimoto II
Action (A guy hunched over, with a squinched eye) Oh. Hello there. I'm Quazimoto, the hunchback of Notre Dame. I ring the bells. (He demonstrates pulling the ropes which swings the bells, and the big bells ring.) I still need an assistant, so I put another ad in the paper. (knock knock knock) Oh. That must be him now. (Go down the long winding spiral staircase, still hunched over.) I have a long winding staircase, you know. (Continue going down.) (Open the big heavy door.) Hello?

Hi! I read your ad in the paper, and I want to be your assistant!!! (Guy with no arms, or arms behind his back.)

(Contemplate) I thought you were dead.

That was my brother! He so wanted to be a bellringer, that was his life's ambition! His greatest dream! With him dead, I felt that I just had to come and take his place!!

(Contemplate) But you don't have any arms.

I really really really want to ring bells! Please please please, give me a chance!

(Contemplate) Well. OK. Walk this way. (Go up the staircase, hunched and arms dragging)

I can't, I don't have any arms! (going up perfectly straight with arms behind them)

OK. Here are the bells. Here is how I ring them (up, down, up, down, bong, bong, bong, bong). I don't know what you're going to do. You don't have any arms.

I can do it! Just watch! (He gets a running start, then whacks the bell with his face.) Booooong!!!

(Quazimoto, who has an amazed look cross his face) Wow...that was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard! Please, Please do it again!

(The assistant gets a running start, misses the bell and falls to his death.) AAAAH! (splat)

Ew. Squished bellringer.

(Knock knock knock) (Quazimoto descends the staircase)

(Police come in) Quazimoto, do you know this man??

(Quazimoto turns the guy over, looks at the face, puts him down again.) No. But he's a dead ringer for his brother.

Name Quazimoto, the Hunchback of Notre Dame
Action (A guy hunched over, with a squinched eye) Oh. Hello there. I'm Quazimoto, the hunchback of Notre Dame. I ring the bells. (He demonstrates pulling the ropes which swings the bells, up, down, up, down, and the big bells ring, bong, bong, bong, bong.) It's hard ringing these bells. (Contemplate that.) So I put an ad in the paper for an assistant. (knock knock knock) Oh. That must be him now. (Go down the long winding spiral staircase, still hunched over.) I have a long winding staircase, you know. (Continue going down.) (Open the big heavy door.) Hello?

Hi! I read your ad in the paper, and I want to be your assistant!!! (Guy with no arms, or arms behind his back.)

(Contemplate) But you don't have any arms.

I really really really want to ring bells! Please please please, give me a chance!

(Contemplate) Well. OK. Walk this way. (Go up the staircase, hunched and arms dragging)

I can't, I don't have any arms! (going up perfectly straight with arms behind them)

OK. Here are the bells. Here is how I ring them (up, down, up, down, bong, bong, bong, bong). I don't know what you're going to do. You don't have any arms.

I can do it! Just watch! (He gets a running start, then whacks the bell with his face.) Booooong!!!

(Quazimoto, who has an amazed look cross his face) Wow...that was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard! Please, Please do it again!

(The assistant gets a running start, misses the bell and falls to his death.)

Ew. Squished bellringer.

(Knock knock knock) (Quazimoto descends the staircase)

(Police come in) Quazimoto, do you know this man??

(Quazimoto turns the guy over, looks at the face, puts him down again.) No. But his face rings a bell.

Name Quiet Please
Action Siren - siren sound Dog - woof, woof Policeman - loud whistle Librarian - SSSh Pigs - oink, oink Chickens - squawk, squawk Ducks - quack, quack Boys - Stamp feet and sing "La, la, la." Screamed - everyone scream Loud Crash - everyone clap

It was a beautiful fall afternoon in --(your towns name)-- , Louisiana. In the balmy air the rich aroma of lumber being milled in nearby Bogalusa was very prominent. The only sounds to be heard were the faint moan of a fire SIREN in a neighboring subdivision, the distant barking of a DOG, and the occasional whistle of the POLICEMAN at the Main Street intersection. Within the Parish Library, someone turned a page too loudly and the LIBRARIAN said, "SSSh!". On the highway at the outskirts of the town, a farmer was slowly driving his animals to the market. Each time he hit a bump, the PIGS grunted, the CHICKENS squawked, and the DUCKS quacked. Yes, all was peaceful in --(your towns name)--.

Suddenly, two BOYS appeared on the quiet street. They were singing and marching in time to the rhythm. They reached the center of town where the POLICEMAN blew his whistle to let them cross at the crosswalk. Still singing, the BOYS marched up the steps of the library. The LIBRARIAN looked up quickly and said, "SSSh!". Each BOY took a book, then sat down at one of the tables. One of the BOYS looked around the almost deserted library and remarked, "They'd do a lot more business in here if they had comic books!" Guess what the LIBRARIAN said? That's right ---"SSSh!".

Outside, the DOG's barking could be heard more strongly. The POLICEMAN blew his whistle as a car approached the intersection, followed by the farmer's truck. As they started up again, the woman driving the car signaled a right turn. Oddly enough, her car made a left turn. The farmer slammed on his brakes and there was a LOUD CRASH! Down went the tail gate of the truck and out tumbled the PIGS; the crates burst and out flew the CHICKENS and the DUCKS. The DOG, who was quite close, began an excited chase, barking wildly.

Frightened, the PIGS ran up the library steps grunting, followed by squawking CHICKENS, quacking DUCKS, and the barking DOG. The LIBRARIAN was so startled she had time to let out only one "SSSh!", before a CHICKEN flew into her face. The BOYS jumped up and delightedly burst into song. In rushed the POLICEMAN, frantically whistling. From across the street, old Miss Curious saw the disturbance, and called the fire department. In the distance began the whine of the SIREN, which grew louder as the fire truck approached the library.

At that moment in the Parish Library these things were going on: The PIGS were grunting, the CHICKENS were clucking, the DUCKS were quaking, the DOG was barking, the BOYS were singing, the fire SIREN was screaming, the POLICEMAN was whistling, and the LIBRARIAN was hopelessly saying over and over again "SSSh, SSSh!". And for a while as least, all these things were going on a the same time! ...But an hour later, everything was peaceful again in --(your towns name)--. The PIGS, DUCKS and CHICKENS had somehow been caught and put back into their crates, and the POLICEMAN again stood at his post by the intersection.

And the LIBRARIAN? Well, she looked around the library at the floating feathers, the muddy floor, the disarranged books, the overturned tables, and the broken chairs. ... And then, all of the sudden, she SCREAMED!

Name Radio Skit
Action Equipment Baby clothing, mock up of a radio, drape to divide scene from those providing radio voices. Preparation Action (From the audience we see a "baby" seated in front of the radio. The rx various voices are gathered behind the drape and must speak in a loud clear voice, or have a microphone and amplifier. The "baby" must know the script well and "twiddle" the radio dial just at the right points. )

ANNO: [stage front] This skit takes place in a living room where a baby is playing with the radio. [exits]

BOY SCOUT: Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Today we are going to discuss the wonderful experience of camping. One of the best places to go camping is ....

TRAVEL: ... over the Pacific Ocean. From this height you are able to see the ocean ships as they sail into port. And, just as your plane is ready to land ....

NEWS: ...at Buckingham Palace. The Queen will be receiving many of the highest officials, one of whom is ....

WESTERN: ... Black Bart, one of the dirtiest and roughest gun fighters in the West. He has killed the Sheriff of Gory Gulch and now has come face to face with ....

NEWS: ... the deepest mystery the police have ever had to solve. No one knows .....

FASHION: ...what is to be worn on the beaches this summer. First, here is a smart little 3 piece number, the skirt of which can be removed. Our beautiful models wearing the latest bathing apparel ....

WEATHER: ...have caused temperatures to soar to a new high. However, we can look for rain later in the day, which will effect ....

BOY SCOUT: ...the grease pits and latrines. At camp this is very important for cleanliness. Now about setting up tents, first ....

COOKING: ...take out the pie shell. While it cools, start to mix the filling by taking a cup of ....

WESTERN: ... Sassafras. That's what I said, give me a glass of Sassafras. Make it snappy, or I'll shoot the place up. Now you know who's boss around here! Pete, throw me-a dirty rotten .... COOKING: ... cream pie. Decorate with swirls of whipped cream and ....

TRAVEL: ... rub it on your back to comfort your sunburn. For those who burn easily, there is always ....

WEATHER: ... snow which will bring out the overcoats and give us ....

FASHION: ... the new covered look. This reminds us of the days when....

NEWS: ... The mothers of the ##th Scout Group will hold a bake sale, followed by a guest speaker who will be ....

FASHION: ... the Beetles. The Beetles music is again sweeping the country and influencing fashion. Everywhere they go the noise is terrific, reminding one of ...

TRAVEL: ... Mount Etna, one of the largest and most exciting volcanoes. In fact there is nothing more exciting than ....

BOY SCOUT: ... the Boy Scouts!

ALL: (step out for a bow]

Name Raisin Skit
Action CAST: 4 Scouts PROPS: none SETUP: 1st Scout comes out, gets down on all fours, pretends to be a table. 2nd Scout enters and looks at the table.

2nd Scout: "Ahh, a fly, I think I'll pull it's wings off.

[Proceeds to pick it up, pluck the wings, put it back on the table, and walks off. 3rd Scout comes out and looks at the fly on the table.]

3rd Scout: "Oh, a fly with no wings, I think I'll pull it's legs off."

[With great precision and animation, picks up the fly, removes it's legs, and puts it back and walks off. 4th Scout comes out and looks at the fly.]

4th Scout: "Say, a fly with no wings or legs. I think I'll pull it's head off."

[Then proceeds as the other Scouts before him. Last Scout comes out looks at the table, then carefully inspects the object without picking it up and says very quickly.]

Last Scout: "A raisin!"

[Quickly picks it up and puts it in his mouth.]

Name Reggie and the Colonel
Action Characters: Reggie; big, dumb, Bermudas, high socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, moustache, carries gun in front of him. Colonel; short, limp, monocle, no gun, just small knapsack, has cane.

Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced English accent.

Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look... Did you see it, Reggie

Reggie: See what??! No, no, where, where??

Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a beautiful condor, 8 foot wing span, beautiful colors.

Reggie: No. I didn't see it.

Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer attention. (They continue walking).

Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?

Reggie: No, what?

Colonel: A spotted Zebra...Wish you'd pay closer attention.

Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie?? Did you see it?

Reggie: No I missed it ... what was it?

Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.

Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh aah bird??

Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays a 3 pound egg, like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (face lights up). (continue walking).

Reggie: Whispers to audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend like I saw it. I'll fool him.

Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it! (excited) Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!

Colonel: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it?!!!

Name Reporter Looking For A Story
Action CAST: 4, or more PROPS: none SETUP: A long bench or the edge of a (low) stage is a bridge. One person is standing on it, swaying and saying

1st Person: "Ready... Set..."

[The second person enters and comes up to him.]

2nd Person: "what are you doing up there?"

1st Person: "I'm really depressed because I just lost my job, so I'm going to jump and end it all."

2nd Person: "Wait, I'll join you. My wife just left me and I don't want to live without her."

[The 2nd Person gets up on 'bridge' and prepares to jump]

Together: "Ready... Set..."

[3rd Person enters]

3rd Person: "What's going on"

1st Person: "I'm really depressed because I just lost my job, so I'm going to jump and end it all."

2nd Person: "My wife just left me and I don't want to live without her, so I'm going to jump and end it all."

3rd Person: "Wait, I'll join you. My house burned down and I don't have anyplace to live."

Together: "Ready... Set..."

[This can go on as long as you can think of reasons to jump. The last person to join them enters...]

Reporter: "I'm a reporter and I have to find a story by 5:00 or I'll be fired. It's almost 5 now, and the whole city is so quiet that I'll never make it."

[He joins the line of people]

Together: "Ready... Set... JUMP!"

[Everyone jumps off the bridge, except the reporter, who walks away writing on his notepad...]

Reporter: "What a story: (# of people) jump off the (local name) Bridge!"

Name Reporter (Hot News)
Action Pots and pans or similar to make sound of explosion (Do not use fireworks!) Preparation Action ANNO: The city editor of our local newspaper is talking to a new reporter, let's listen in.

EDITOR: All right, I think that's everything. Just remember, the way to get ahead in this business is to develop a "nose for news". You've got to learn to spot the news almost before it happens. Now get out there and get me some Hot News to fill it.

REPORTER: Sure Boss, Hot News! [exits]

REPORTER: [enters a moment later] Boss, Boss, I got a story on a train wreck in Hamilton!

EDITOR: [angrily] That happened last week! I told you, get me some Hot News! Now get out of here! [REPORTER exits]

REPORTER: [enters a moment later] Boss, I got some Hot News! A boat sank in the harbour yesterday, and is plugging the channel!

EDITOR: [furious] I've told you before, old news is no news! Now if you don't get out there and get me some Hot News your fired. [sternly points to door]

REPORTER: [exits] Old news is no news, get some Hot News, learn to spot it BEFORE it happens.

REPORTER: [running in] Boss, this is it! The building across the street just blew up!

EDITOR: [skeptical] Sure, sure, sure.

ANNO: [offstage] KAABOOOM! [rattles pots and pans]

Name Reporter (Scoop)
Action MARTY: [standing, swaying, as though to jump off bridge]

DON: [enters] Hey, what are you doing?

MARTY: I'm a reporter, and I haven't had a good story in weeks, so I'm gonna jump off this bridge!

DON: Well, I'm a pilot, an' my last plane crashed, an' nobody will let me fly again, so I'm gonna jump too! [both start to sway]

TOM: [enters] Stop, stop! I'm a teacher and I cannot stand the kids anymore. I'll jump with you! [three sway]

BOB: [enters] Wait, don't jump yet! I'm a lion tamer, and I'm allergic to animals. I'll jump with you! [four sway]

DICK: [enters] Hey, move over, I'm a Disrict Commissioner. All the boys in my district do is play floor hockey. I'm going to jump too!

MARTY: O.K., all together then, [swaying] One, Two, Three [steps back while others jump, scream]. Wow, have I got a story now! Four local men jump off bridge!

Name Restaurant Minutes
Action The scene is two guys enter a greasy spoon type of restaurant that has a customer and a grill type cook with a stained apron. The cook says that all they have is soup and a hot dog. The first man says he will take the soup and the other man says he wants the same. The cook tells them if one wants the soup the other has to have the hot dog. The second man agrees and asks to have mustard put on the hot dog and the waiter leaves. The third asks if they steal, referring the cook. The first man says the cook will steal your shirt off your back if he could. The first second man get their order, the cook dropping the silverware, then wiping them off with his dirty apron. Second man tells the cook that he wanted mustard on his hot dog. The cook squeezes mustard off his apron onto the hot dog. First man says that there is a fly in his soup. The cook retrieves the fly out of the soup, squeezing it, telling the fly to spit it all back. The third man disgusted, makes a comment and walks out without his pants. His pants have been stolen.
Name Retired Scoutmaster
Action Equipment: A blanket and a tall staff or walking stick.
Preparation: None.

Action: A scout drapes the blanket around his shoulders, hunches over, and leaning on his staff, slowly walks across the stage. A group of boys run up to him and pretend to beat him up until he falls to the floor. Then they run away. A voice offstage says, "An old man in the city." Repeat the above, and after the boys run away, the voice says, "An old man in the country." When the group of boys attacks the man again, he swings into action, using his staff like a ninja with a few karate yells thrown in. He stops when all of the boys are unconscious on the floor. He then puts his blanket around his shoulders and walks offstage using his staff. The voice offstage says, "Retired Scoutmaster."

Name Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor
Action Cast: Dr. Mad, Igor, Bank Manager, Cable Company, Electrician

Setting: Dr. Mad's Laboratory

Dr. Mad: (Talking to crowd, with one of those sinister, horror movies voices.) I just love my new invention, Igor. He is a robot and is such a good servant. I would just love to demonstrate him to you. (Someone knocks on the door.) Ah! Here's my chance. Come in!

Manager: Hello, Sir. I've come today to talk to you about your banking. It seems your account is overdrawn by twenty million dollars.

Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward manager.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles manager, then lies down on his table.) This is so neat what I've invented. (Someone knocks on door.) Oh, someone else is at the door. Coming!

Cableman: Hello, Sir. I've come today to disconnect the cable, because you haven't paid you cable bills in 6 months.

Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward cableman.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles cableman, then lies down on his table.) I say, what an invention. (Someone knocks on door.) Oh, someone else is at the door. Coming!

Electrician: Hello, Sir. I've come today to talk about your power consumption and how to reduce it. I seems that you are often short-circuiting the system.

Dr. Mad: Oh, please, come in. I would love to discuss this over coffee. But first, may I show you my newest invention? This is Igor. You see, whenever I say, Rise, Igor, he rises (Igor rises.) And if I say, Walk, Igor, he walks (Igor walks toward electrician.) And should I say, Kill, Igor, he kills (Igor strangles electrician then lies down on his table.) Without a doubt, a great invention. (To audience again.) I am so impressed with myself and my invention. You see, all I have to do is say, Rise, Igor and he gets up (Igor Rises.) Then I just say, Walk, Igor and he walks (Igor walks to Dr. Mad.) And just by saying, Kill, Igor, I solve many problems! (Igor strangles Dr. Mad.) AHHHHHHHH!

Name River Run
Action The narrator tells the audience they are going to explore the wilderness. He sets the scene with members of his patrol. Two members are the river, (they are always moving around. The Trees, bushes remain still. The uniformed volunteers play the rocks and they in the front with their backs to the rest of the cast. The narrator walks to each person as he describes the items.) Then trees, bushes, squirrel, rabbit, etc. When you run out of members, solicit two or three volunteers to be the rocks. Sit them down in front of the rest of the scene.

Now the narrator says: "Come with us now as we explore the beautiful wilderness. Here with have these great oak trees, mixed among the giant pine trees. Next we have these rabbits and squirrel playing in the wilderness. And we find these rocks. Remnant of the very beginning of our planet, nestled here near the river bed. These are wild gooseberry bushes. Notice the berries are growing all over. Finally we come to the rushing river. Always moving, the river tumbles down the canyon, hurries through the rapids and washes up against the rocks!" (at this point the people playing the river grab buckets of water and douse the persons playing the rocks.)

Name Rocket Genius
Action CAST: 4-6 PROPS: 'rocket' SETUP: The scene is the launching pad of a large rocket (fake it, or can be cut from a large piece of cardboard.)

There is an elaborate countdown, but the rocket fails to go off at zero. All those present inspect it and check on a number of highly-scientific-sounding devices - the supersonic sector wire; the exhaust fin fanstand; the sub-stabilizer exidizer, etc. All seem perfect. Finally a small boy speaks up.

Boy: (Holds up a power cord) "I've found the trouble. Somebody forgot to plug it in.

Name ROLLICKING ROBOTS
Action CAST: DEN CHIEF ANNOUNCER, ROBOT NARRATOR, 6 ROBOTS (Cub Scouts)

DEN CHIEF: Den presents "The Rollicking Robots From The World Tomorrow."

(Robots enter slowly in a line, then turn to face audience)

ROBOT NARRATOR: We ‘re the very latest triumph of engineering skill; We can walk, we can talk, we can raise an arm at will; We ‘re really rather handsome, all gleaming steel and chrome; Oh, everyone should have a little robot in the home.

You’ll never have to feed us, our wants are very few; A sip of battery juice and a nut and bolt or two; Our actions are dependable, just like a metronome; Oh, everyone should have a little robot in the home.

(As each boy takes his turn, he steps forward stiffly, takes three steps and bows before he speaks.)

ROBOT 1: When Junior has some homework that no one can explain, Were just the ones to help him, with our electronic brain.

ROBOT 2: Those nights when father moans and groans about his income tax, We’ll do the calculations, if he’d just feed us the facts.

ROBOT 3: We can help with mother’s gardening when she’s setting out her plants, Our feet are built for digging holes or stamping out red ants.

ROBOT 4: If sister fears she’ll oversleep cause she stayed out late at night, Just let us know the proper time, we’ll wake her up all right.

ROBOT 5: We’ll be glad to mind the baby when he’s crawling on the floor, And shock him, oh so gently, if he’s heading for the door.

ROBOT 6: To cheer you up, we’ll bring you music straight from our transistors; And even go into a dance while rattling our resistors.

(Robots dance: Three slide steps to left; then three slide steps back to position. Three bounces forward; then three back to position. Swing left arm and right leg forward and back; then right arm and left leg. Repeat these kicks, then bow.)

ROBOT NARRATOR: We hope we have convinced you of our many splendid uses, And we faithfully promise not to blow out any fuses. We’ll be always be at your service with our every volt and ohm, Now don’t you think that you should have a robot in your home?

Name Rowing
Action CAST: A Speaker, 4 or more fishermen. PROPS: A plastic or cardboard sheet, if desired. SETUP: A speaker is starting what looks like the introduction to another skit or part of the program when this skit begins. Four or more people sneak up behind the speaker and set sets of plastic or cardboard (chairs on hard floor) down so that "the speaker can't see them." They then begin to go through the motions of casting a line and reeling it in. After the audience is watching what the group is doing a while, then the "speaker" looks over.

Speaker: "What are you doing?"

Fishermen: "We're fishing!"

[fishermen go back to their motions and the speaker resumes talking. After a short time the speaker looks over again.]

Speaker: "But you can't fish here!"

Fishermen: "Why not?"

Speaker: "Because there's no water here!"

Fishermen: "Oh, well, they weren't biting anyway!"

[The fishermen then turn their chairs so that they are lined up in a single line, facing in the same direction. They go through the motions of putting their gear away, and then, acting as if they are rowing a boat, slide their chairs backwards across the stage.]

It worked well in a gymnasium and at the hall where we showed it to the leaders at roundtable. Perhaps the fishermen could sit on plastic garbage bags, or pieces of plastic sheet such as that which is used for ground cloths and simply scoot across the ground when it is time to "row" away.

Name Rubbish
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: none SETUP: 1st scout walks to center of stage and starts talking in a loud voice.

1st scout: "Empty cornflakes packet, banana skin, old tin can, bottle top, sweet wrappers, broken bottle, moldy cheese, milk carton."

2nd scout: (Enters) "Say, what do you think you're doing?"

1st scout: "I'm talking a load of old rubbish."

Name Russian Pianist
Action The world renown Moresofi Vodka is introduced to perform his original composition Chopinsky Stickovich. He plays Chopsticks.
Name Salesman
Action A scout begins to sell white water balloons to scouts at summer camp.: He is yelling water balloons for sale. Various customer come up to he to buy one. However they want colored balloons and the salesman only has white balloons. The salesman is very rude to them. He replies: What's the matter. These plates are the same shape as what you want only a different color." Finally one of the first customers comes back and asked to buy a balloon. The Scout hands the salesman a penny for the balloon. The Salesman stops him and says: "Hey what this, they are 10 cents!" The customer replies: "What's the matter, the coin is the same shape as the one you want, a similar size, only a different color!"
Name Saloon
Action Cast: 2 Cowboys, Sheriff, Goofball

Setting: Saloon

#1 2 and the sheriff are in talking to each other while goofball is polishing his gun.

#1: I'm so brave that I once faced a pit full of hissing, poisonous snakes and shot each one before I climbed out.

#2: That's nothing. I once was all alone helping all sorts of people when a flood came through town.

Sheriff: I'm really brave, that's why I'm sheriff. I once put away 20 bad guys all by myself.

(Goofball's gun fires accidentally.)

Goofball: (All three guys run off, really scared.) Gee, I was only washing my gun!

Name SANTA KNOWS ABOUT RUDOLPH'S NOSE
Action Characters: Santa Clause; 6 Elves (wearing Santa hats made from red crepe paper); Rudolph (wearing cardboard or paper band around head with horns attached.)

Scene: Santa sitting in an easy chair by fireplace reading newspaper. It is Christmas Eve.

Elf 1: (Comes running to where Santa is sitting and breathlessly says:) Oh Santa, come here. Bad news I must tell. Rudolph's nose is all frozen. Not a thing can he smell!

Elf 2: (Running in as other elf exits.) Hey Santa, listen here, while sad news I tell you. Poor Rudolph's nose is cold and it's turning all blue.

Elf 3: (Hurrying in as 2nd elf leaves.) Oh Santa, I've come to tell of Rudolph's plight. He has a cold in his nose that has put out his light!

Elf 4: (Follows 3rd, etc.) Santa, Oh Santa! I'm sorry to tell. Rudolph's nose is all warm and he doesn't feel well!

Elf 5: (Same as above) There's something I must say, but I'd really rather not. You see, poor Rudolph has a nose that's very hot!

Elf 6: (Same) Santa, please come! See Rudolph's burned nose! It's all black like charcoal, not red like a rose!

(After all elves have entered, spoken their parts and left, then Rudolph comes in and Santa holds up his hand to keep him from speaking.)

Santa: (While Rudolph hangs his head.) No! Don't say anything, but please let me guess. Your friends were all lying, so you've come to confess. I knew all the time that it was only a plot. For how could your nose be both cold and hot?

Rudolph: Well you see, Santa Claus, I was feeling quite low, and decided on our trip I didn't want to go. But now I've learned a lesson. The truth is always best. It could have saved me from this embarrassing mess!

(Santa pats Rudolph on the head. Rudolph smiles and scampers off stage.)

Name SANTA’S HELP-IN
Action CAST: SANTA with list and empty sack. HELPERS, 6 (or more, if desire) with red caps, working tools and toys. HELPER ‘X’ (last helper) with green cap.

SETTING: Santa’s Workshop, with all 7 helpers busy working on toys and whistling or singing "Jingle Bells." As curtain opens, Santa enters, puzzled, despaired, checking list in his hand.

SANTA: Ho! Ho! Help! This is an unusual list from the Cub Scouts of Pack (fill in your pack number). We’re running out of time! Good grief! Sakes alive.

(Santa sits down with sack opened, looking very, very sad.)

HELPER 1: I’ve worked hard on trains; Have they run out of brains?

HELPER 2: It’s clear to see They don’t want trucks from me.

HELPER 3: Surely Santa, you know the score. That’s no ho! ho! Please tell us more.

HELPER 4: I know, great red and white one … they need a change. (He rattles coins in his pocket.)

HELPER 5: That’s right wise leader. Any new ideas in our "goody range?"

HELPER 6: Shazam! Me thinks the Cubs are tired of toys; How about more arrow points for those boys?

HELPER X: (Runs across stage, carrying large cardboard shield with arrow points glued on.) Sock it to ‘em Santa!

(He places shield in Santa’s sack. All stand and bow together, go off singing "Jingle Bells.")

Name Sap Running Through theTrees
Action DIRECTOR: As I was wandering through the woods the other day I saw a beautiful scene, and I wanted to recreate it for you tonight.

First, I need some trees. [selects four tall people, to stand in a line] There were birds twittering around the branches. [selects two birds] There you are, just move around twittering as the trees move their branches, thank you. There was also a little rabbit hopping through the grass. [selects rabbit] Just hop about amongst the grass, thanks. It looked so beautiful, but then along came this Scouter [picks a Scouter] who ran in and out amongst the trees looking for his boys. [Scouter runs in and out, around trees] He made so much noise that the rabbit hopped off [rabbit exits] and the birds flew away. [birds exit] In fact there was nothing left, but the Sap running through the trees!

Name Sarge And The Private
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: none SETUP: The Sarge and the private are walking.

Private: "I want to rest!"

Sarge: "No! we have to finish this hike. Keep going!"

Private: "But my feet hurt" etc.

[Whining. Here you can be creative, add a few more excuses...]

Sarge: "Absolutely NOT!!!"

Private: "Ill cry..."

Sarge: "Go ahead!"

Private: "WaaaaaaHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Here Sarge gives in and they rest.]

[Next the private wants to stop and 'take a wee' You can always use the "Weeee!" when the Sarge finally gives in after the same Rigmarole. Next a drink, and finally food. But this is only a day hike so there is no food. After more tears, the Sarge finds a worm and the private will only eat it, on the threat of more tears, if the Sarge eats half. Of course when he finally does, the private starts bawling again.]

Sarge: "Now what's wrong!"

Private: "You ate my half."

Name SAVED BY THE DINNER BELL
Action Characters: 8 boys in a lifeboat. Props: If a lifeboat is not available, the scene must be set by a narrator. As the scene opens, we find boys from Den drifting at sea in a lifeboat.

Boy 1: We are sure lucky to get this lifeboat.

Boy 2: Yeah, it saved our lives.

Boy 3: How long have we been out here?

Boy 4: Seems like a week.

Boy 5: (Looking at his watch.) Three days, two nights, six and a half hours and thirty seconds.

Boy 6: Hope we get rescued soon. I'm getting hungry.

Boy 7: Let's go swimming.

Boy 8: Better not, there might be sharks out there.

Boy 1: Or some weird sea monster.

Boy 2: And they get hungry, too.

Boy 3: Wouldn't it be great to find some deserted island like Robinson Crusoe did?

Boy 4: Yeah, and we could do what we wanted to?

Boy 5: Just think, an island of our very own. No freeways or pollution. No school or homework!

All Boys: Yeah!

Boy 7: What would we do for television?

(Mother's voice off at a distance: "Johnny!....")

Boy 6: Did you hear that? Sounds like someone calling me.

(Mother's voice, a little louder: "Johnny...")

Boy 6: It's my mom. Guess, it's dinner time. Well, I've got to go. See you all tomorrow. (Boy steps out of the boat and exits.)

Boy 8: Guess I'd better go, too. It's getting late. (Boy exits.)

Boy 7: Me, too! See you later, (Boy exits.)

Name School's on Fire
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: glass SETUP: Scout runs through area several times holding a glass of water. Finally the leader has enough.

Leader: "What ARE you doing?"

Boy: "The school is on fire!"

Leader: "How do you expect to put the fire out with a tiny glass of water?"

Boy: "This ain't water, it's gas.

Name Scientific Genius
Action The scene is the launching pad of a large rocket which can be cut from a large piece of cardboard. There is an elaborate countdown, but the rocket fails to go off at zero. All those present inspect it and check on a number of highly-scientific-sounding devices the supersonic sector wire; the exhaust fin fanstand; the sub-stabilizer exidizer, etc. All seem perfect. Finally the smallest boy says: "I've found the trouble. Somebody forgot to put in the fuel.
Name Scoutmaster's Brains
Action A Scout goes to the trading post and asks to buy some tenderfoot brains, that'll be 25 cents. OK, (money and brains exchanged).

Narrator: six months later. Same Scout back at trading post. "I'd like to buy some second class brains." "That'll be 50 cents." OK, (as before)

Narrator: six months later I'd like to buy some first class brains - 75 cents - OK...

Narrator: a year later I'd like to buy some star brains - 1.00 - OK...

Narrator: a year later I'd like...Life brains - 1.25 - OK

Narrator: a year later I'd like... Eagle brains - 1.50 - OK

Narrator: 15 years later Same Scout goes to trading post again. "I'd like to buy some Scoutmaster's brains" "That'll be 200 dollars an ounce" "200 dollars, why so much?"

"Do you have any idea how many Scoutmaster's it takes to get an ounce of brains?"

Name Scoutmaster's Gift
Action Six or seven scouts each bring in a wrapped present. The "presents" can be anything (paper clips, envelopes, a pencil, a block of wood); The Scoutmaster (camp director) being honored stands in front of the group. Scout 1 comes up with his present (paper clips, for example) and gives it to the SM.

SM opens the package. "Oh gee, paper clips! How nice!"

Scout 1: "Oh it was nothing, Mr. Jones. My dad works in a paper clip factory."

Scout 2 comes up with his present (envelopes, for example) and gives it to the SM.

SM opens the package. "Oh boy, envelopes. Thanks, Tommy."

Scout 2: "No problem, Mr. Jones. The old man works in a stationery store."

And so on to the last one -- Last scout comes up with a box, dripping water out of the bottom, and says, "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, but my dad works in a pet store..."

Name Scoutmaster's Saw
Action Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store near Camp _______ home of the oldest surviving Scoutmaster.

Scoutmaster (very old man): "My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let me cut more wood for camp!"

Owner: "Yes, sir! For only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your old crosscut." Scoutmaster: (Handing over money) "O.K. great!" (Exits)

Announcer: "The next day."

Scoutmaster: (Enters tiredly) "There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half as much wood."

Owner: "Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another try."

Scoutmaster: "O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back! You can count on that!" (Exits)

Announcer: "The next day."

Scoutmaster: (Enters exhausted) "This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it won't cut half the wood of my old saw! I want my money back!"

Owner: "Yes, sir ! Just let me check it out here." (Pulls starter rope)

Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)

Scoutmaster: "Oh, my gosh! What on earth is all that noise?"

Name Shape Up!
Action Cub 1: I can lift an elephant with one hand.

Cub 2: I don't believe you.

Cub 1: Give me an elephant with one hand and I'll show you.

Cub 3: I can bend bars with my bare hands.

Cub 4: Iron bars?

Cub 3: No, chocolate bars.

Cub 5: Why are you jumping up and down?

Cub 6: I took some medicine and forgot to shake well before using.

Name Shut Up!
Action Shut Up, Trouble, Police Officer, Narrator Setting: Woods, Then a Police Station (as per narration)

Narrator: There once were a brother and sister called Shut Up and Trouble. They liked to go on walks together. (SU T are walking through the woods.) One day, they were walking along in the woods together and Trouble got lost. (T walks off; SU looks around but can't find her.) So Shut Up went to the police station to report a missing person.

Police officer: Can I help you? What's your name?

Shut Up: Shut Up, Sir.

Police Officer: That's a bit impolite. What's your name, boy?

Shut Up: Shut Up, Sir.

Police Officer: You should watch your manners, boy. What's your name?

Shut Up: Shut Up, Sir.

Police Officer: Young man, are you looking for trouble?

Shut Up: Yes, Sir, she's lost! Do you know where she is?

Name Shut Up and Her Dog Trouble
Action Cast: "Shut Up," her dog "Trouble," teachers, school secretary, vice-principal, principal.

Shut Up skips on-stage with her dog Trouble. She introduces herself to the audience: "Hi, my name is Shut Up. Don't laugh. That's really my name. And this is my dog. Her name is Trouble." While Shut Up is talking, Trouble runs off. Shut Up calls Trouble but can't get her to return. She is upset about losing Trouble but has to gone to school. She tells the audience that today is her first day at the new school. At school the teacher asks what her name is. She answers "Shut Up." The teacher keeps asking and gets the same answer, so she sends Shut Up to the principal's office. The secretary asks her name and is told, "Shut Up". The vice-principal is called. You can add more teachers or vice-principals if you want. At last the principal comes and demands, "What is your name young lady?" Shut Up - "Shut Up" Vice-principal - "Shut Up is it? Are you looking for TROUBLE?" Shut Up - "I sure am! Have you seen her?"

Name Sidewalk Climbing
Action Cast: 1 Sidewalk Climber. 2 - 3 Passers-by and 2 offstage personnel

Also needed: "Tools" - Climbing tools or even two tent stakes will work. Long rope

The skit begins with the "sidewalk climber" lying on his stomach on the floor. (The plastic garbage bag is used if needed to prevent splinters) The rope is tied around the climber's waist (like a safety line) and leads offstage (to the offstage personnel.)

In the climber's hands are "climbing tools" which can be anything that a climber would use to climb rocks, or even sticks, it really doesn't matter too much.

The climber simulates climbing up a rock formation by getting a good hold with his tool and pulling up (sliding across the floor), then getting a good hold with the other tool, etc....

1st Passer-by: What in the world do you think you're doing here?

Climber: "Why, I'm sidewalk climbing! It's a really dangerous hobby. It takes a lot of strength and concentration. One mistake and it's all over!" (Continues climbing)

1st Passer-by: "You're crazy!" (Passer-by walks off.)

Climber: Continues to make the climbing action across the floor.

2nd P-by: "Hey mister/lady, what ARE you doing there?"

Climber: "I'm sidewalk climbing! Not everybody can do this sport. It takes a great deal of training and strength. One slip and it's all over!"

2nd P-by: "What a nut!" (The passer-by takes one of the tools and walks off the climber now has to try to climb with only one tool - makes it look a lot harder.)

Climber: "Oh no! Thank goodness I still have THIS tool, I think I can still make it!" (Continues "climbing.")

3rd P-by: "Wow, look at this weirdo! Just what is it you think you're doing?"

Climber: "I'm SIDEWALK CLIMBING!" (Climber must grunt out the words due to the extra effort it takes to climb with only one tool.) "This is a really dangerous sport and I lost one of my climbing tools. All it takes is one wrong move and I'm in real trouble!"

3rd P-by: "This is really dumb! You're just lying on the sidewalk! There's nothing dangerous about that. Nothing will happen if you slip. Here..... I'll PROVE it to you!" (Passer-by takes the last tool out of the climber's hand.)

Climber: "Oh No!" (and tries to hang on to the tool) (Just as the tool is taken out of the climber's hand, the offstage personnel pull on the rope and pull the climber out of sight, as the climber yells "Ahhhhhhhhhh.... look what you've done now!")

3rd P-by: Looks at audience with a sheepish look on his/her face, shrugs shoulders, and quietly walks off the stage.

Name Six A Side
Action Enter left six very despondent players. Five are in very large oversize shirts. Luke is wearing a very small cub jersey back to front. The Team is very varied in size.

Ed: That's it then. We're out of the six a side competition for this year.

Adam: What a beating, seven- nil in the first round.

Harry: It was a disgrace.

Luke: What will the rest of the pack say at next Wednesday's meeting?

Chris: it's not the rest of the pack I'm worried about, what's Akela going to say?

Owen: Akela said he would be here in time to watch us in the second round.

Ed: He's giving up half his Saturday overtime just to come and see us play. He'll murder us!

Harry: Do you think we could have a collection towards his lost over time pay?

Chris: Perhaps we could bribe him not to mention the score.

Adam: You must be joking. He wouldn't keep this quiet if we paid him a thousand pounds.

Owen: It wasn't our fault. We were just unlucky.

Luke: Other teams have been unlucky before to lose seven - nil.

Ed: Yes, but not when they only played five minutes each way.

Harry: They were tougher than us, and at least twice our size.

Adam: That goalkeeper was massive. At least six feet tall, and almost as wide as the goal.

Owen: It was impossible to get a shot through.

Ed: Getting a shot through! The ball was never out of our half.

Luke: And that striker, so fast we didn't stand a chance. I never saw the ball going past.

Chris: That's because you had your eyes shut for most of the game.

Adam: The referee was bent! There was tripping, kicking and shoving all through the game.

Chris: And that was just their linesman!

Ed: I was the only decent player in our team. It was just I never had any passes.

Chris: It would have been better if you had come down the field and helped us. You spent all your time chatting to their goalie.

Ed. Akela said I'd got to keep up the pressure. I couldn't do that by staying in defence.

Owen: All the goals were offside for a start. He should never have allowed any of them.

Ed: But the rules say you can't be offside in a six a side game.

Luke: Nobody told us. If we'd known that the result would have been different.

Owen: You must be joking! I wouldn't have gone near any of their forwards; they'd have trampled me to death.

Harry: (He points off right) Hey. Look, here's Akela.

Luke: Excuse me, I've got to go somewhere quick!

(He attempts to go off but is restrained by Chris and Adam)

Owen: You stay here and face the music like the rest of us!

(ENTER RIGHT, AKELA)

Akela: Hello boys. How are we doing then? Through the first round OK?

Chris: Well, no not exactly.

Akela: You mean you lost?

(The team all keep quiet, but nod)

Akela: Ah well, never mind. After all, half the teams in the competition get knocked out in the first round. What was the score?

(The team looks at each other)

Ed (to Luke): You let 'em in, you tell him.

Luke: Err, seven - nil, Akela

Akela: Seven - nil! Oh well it could have been worse. After all, a Brownie Pack entered a team; it's the first time it's been allowed I bet they got a right thrashing. Anyone know how the got on?

Ed: They won, actually.

Akela: They won! They must have been playing a team of deadbeats. Who was it?

(They start nudging each other, the push Luke forward)

Luke: Well actually Akela, it was us!

Akela: What!

(The team rush off right, followed by Akela)

Written by Dave Parker (Akela 63rd Derby Kingfishers)

From: 1st Church Broughton Cubs, Derbyshire, 1996

Name Six Wise Travelers
Action The six wise travelers came to a river and discuss ways to get across. One of them sees a boy with a boat and asks him to take them across. the boy says they can use the boat, but he will not take them across. The travelers all get in the boat and it sinks. They scramble out of the river and count themselves, but do it wrong and come up short a person. This can be done more than once. They tell the boy if he can find the missing traveler they will give him a bag of gold. The boy counts them. gets it right, they give him the gold telling the boy how good he is and that maybe he will grow up to be as smart as they are. The travelers then jump in and swim across the river.
Name SKY DIVING
Action Props: Plane out of cardboard or three chairs. Signs saying 3000 ft., 2000 ft., 1000 ft., 500 ft., two backpacks for parachutes. Boy in cock pit flying plane. Instructor and pupil with parachutes in back seats. 1st Cub walks by with sign saying 3000 ft.

Instructor: "Pull your rip cord when I say." (They jump out of plane and act like they are free falling.)

Pupil: Now Sir? (Second Cub enters carrying a sign saying 2000 ft.)

Instructor: Not yet. (Third Cub enters carrying a sign saying 1000 ft.)

Pupil: Now?

Instructor: Wait! (Fourth Cub enters carrying a 500 ft. sign.)

Instructor: (Pulls his ripcord.) Now pull the rip cord, now!

Pupil: (Shrugging.) No need to now. I can jump from here!

Name Slug Trainers
Action CAST: 3-4 PROPS: sleeping bag, brown cotton balls SETUP: Several slug trainers bring on their trained slug and deposit it in the stage center. The slug is a person encased in a sleeping bag.

On command the slug performs various trick such rolling over, sitting up, playing dead, leaping in the air slightly, etc. A volunteer is brought from the audience and is told that the slug is trained to crawl over the human body. The volunteer lays down and the slug crawls across him leaving a dribble of water or brown cotton balls. The trainers apologize.

Trainer: "Sorry, but our slug isn't potty trained."

Name SMART DOG
Action CAST: TOM JOHN John’s DOG

TOM: That’s a nice dog you have.

JOHN: Thank you. He’s nice and he’s smart.

DOG: Arf!

TOM: A smart dog, huh? What’s his name?

JOHN: Snoop.

DOG: Arf!

TOM: What- kind of dog is he anyway?

JOHN: A police dog.

DOG: Arf

TOM: A police dog? He doesn’t look anything like a police dog.

JOHN: Of course he doesn’t. He’s a police detective in disguise!

DOG: Arf!

Name SMOKEY'S DEPUTIES
Action Characters: Narrator, 3 boys in Smokey Bear costumes with "Deputy" badges, clown.

Scene: Outdoor scene with cardboard trees and buses. Posters as indicated in script.

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen. For the first and only time, in our stage we present a trio of performing bears directly from Yellowstone Park. (Gesturing with sweep of hand.) Take it away bears!

Bears: (enter singing...Tune: "Polly Wolly Doodle")

Oh, bears like cake, and bees like pie And a little bit of honey is fine' But we don't like sparks in our national parks, And in forests of spruce and pine. So beware, so beware, Put your campfires all the way out. Let the fire burn down, sprinkle water all around Put them out without a doubt.

Bear 1: Listen friends. Before you strike one match in my forest, check the Forest Ranger or an adult camping guide.

Bear 2: Never build a fire without an adult to help you.

Bear 3: That's right! Remember to have a bucket of water or dirt handy, right next to the fire.

Bear 1: And when you're through with the fire, don't go away and leave it. No sir. Let the fire burn down. Break up the coals with a stick. Sprinkle water or dirt on the fire until it is cold.

Bear 2: Be sure to check the fire to see that it is cold out before you leave the campsite.

Bear 3: Now everybody, please join us in the chorus of our song:

So beware, so beware Put your campfires all the way out Let the fire burn down, sprinkle water all around. Put them out without a doubt.

(During the chorus, clown crosses stage carrying sign which reads: "You are no Match for Fire" When he reaches mid-stage, he turns sign over. On back side it reads: "Don't clown around with fire.")

Name Soldier In the Battlefield
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: notepad and pencil SETUP:

A 'soldier' falls on the ground moaning that he is about to die. The medic kneels over him frantically trying to record his name for the records. He keeps on asking his name, but he is in too much pain to bother with his name and keeps on asking for help. In desperation the orderly tells the soldier that he is dying and that he needs his name to tell his mother. The soldier reply that his mother already knows his name.

Name Someone Chanted Evening
Action CAST: Friar, Brother Daniel, 2-3 or more monks. PROPS: Blankets and rope to make Monk's Cassock. SETUP: Monks are lined up in a block, as if in church pews, looking somber.

Friar: Good morning, everyone.

Monks: Good morning, Friar.

Friar: For our morning prayers today, we are going to practice chanting. All together now, repeat after me - (Chanting) Morning, morning, mor-or-ning.

Monks: (Rather raggedly) Morning, morning, mor-or-ning.

Friar: Not bad, but we need to get more feeling and rhythm into it. Let's try again.

[A couple more attempts are made, each one better, then on the third try it sounds excellent, but one Monk chants loud and clear, "Ev-en-ning".]

Friar: Cut, Cut! What was that?

Br. Daniel: What's wrong, Friar? I thought it sounded good.

Friar: (Breaking into song) Someone Chanted Evening!

Name Sounds of the Lost Scoutmaster
Action A quick 2-person skit, if the Storyteller, the Lost Scoutmaster or last minute volunteers do the sound effects.

Cast: Storyteller, Bird, Frog, Tree, Breeze, Lost Scoutmaster

Storyteller is telling the story to the campfire crowd, while the other actors, with the exception of the Lost Scoutmaster, have the option to hide in the woods, sit in the crowd, or stand beside the story teller. I suggest the first, for effect. The Lost Scoutmaster, however, must hide in the woods.

Storyteller: You know, I love camping. It's not like being in the city at all. You hear sounds that you can only hear out in the country. For instance, lots of birds. (Bird chirps a lot, sings a bird song.) Ah, isn't that lovely? And the frogs. They have one of those great sounds. (Frog calls out ribbit sounds.) And though there's breeze in the city, it's just not the same as the breeze in the country. (Light breeze being called out.) Let's face it; there are trees in the city, but how many? The breeze through a forest is so nice (Light breeze, slight swishing of the trees.) But the sound I love to hear the most when I go camping is the sound of the Lost Scoutmaster. (Heavy thumping of the feet; calls out, "Where in the world am I?")

Name Sour Notes
Action The director tunes up the orchestra or chorus and they begin to make music. One by one each player hits a sour note. Each time the director gets upset and throws the player offstage. Repeat until only the accompanist and the director is left. The director then turns to the accompanist and begins a solo. The director hits a sour note and the accompanist jumps up and throws the director off stage coming back on stage with a smug look on his face, bows to the audience and exits.
Name Space Derby Skit.
Action While Cub Master is doing the pack meeting Two adults enter. They are wearing coveralls and motorcycle helmets. They carry their jet (made from an eight foot piece of Styrofoam and set it by the derby track They pay no attention to what Dan is saying..

Cub Master: " Excuse me, gentlemen, EXCUSE ME GENTLEMEN!!!"

This gets First adult's attention and he taps Second adult on the shoulder. They both turn and face Cub Master like men from Devo.

Cub Master: "What are you two trying to do?"

Both Second adult and First adult make flying motions with their arms.

Cub Master: "Oh you two think you are going flying do ya?"

Both Second adult and First adult nod their bodies yes from the waist up. They butt heads??

Cub Master: "Which one of you is the pilot?"

First adult raises his hand.

Cub Master: "What does the other guy do?"

Second adult make the sign of the cross and put his hands together to pray.

Cub Master: "Oh you pray huh? Do either of you two have any flying experience?"

First adult and Second adult pull out paper airplanes from their coveralls and fly them.

Cub Master: "Is that the only experience you have.

Both Second adult and First adult nod their bodies yes from the waist up. They butt heads??

Cub Master: "I'm afraid I am going to have to see your flying permits before I let you take off on our course."

First adult and Second adult look at each other, dig through their pockets, then look at Cubmaster and shrug.

Cub Master: "Well if you don't have any permits you know what that means don't you?"

First adult and Second adult wave good bye and pick up their airplane and leave.

Cub Master: "Yes it means good-b

Name Spelling Contest
Action Contestants have numbers on their shirts and the judges have badges to distinguished them from the contestants. Need a list of spelling words, toy guns (or hand if necessary) and a trophy. There are two judges and four contestants. Judge #1 asks are you ready for the annual spelling contest. The contestants say yes and Judge #2 tells them good luck and let's begin. The first contestant steps forward misses the word and is shot by the judge. Second contestant steps forward, spells the word, the judges confer, answering right. The third contestant spells the word wrong and is shot. Contestant #4 comes forward spells his word, the judges confer, say he is wrong and one raises the gun to shoot him. Contestant #4 tells the judge wait, he is sure the word is spelled right. The judges confer again, say the contestant is right and they are wrong and shoot themselves. Contestants #2 and #4 say that they guess that means they both win and walk off together with the trophy.
Name SPL's Too Tough To Be Tasty
Action Cook'm and Eat'm that is what our Troop does!

A mamma bear (or other large carnivore) enters a butcher shop. She asks the butcher what he has special today.

Storekeeper: "Road kill possum, only $.50/LB"

Mamma Bear: "No thanks what else?"

Storekeeper: "Fresh venison $1.00/LB"

Mamma Bear: "No thanks, had that last week."

Proceed through several more choices each slightly more expensive than the last. The shopper refuses each one.

Storekeeper: "How about some fresh Boy Scout, $30.00/LB"

Mamma Bear: "Thirty dollars a pound? Why so expensive?"

Storekeeper: "Did 'ya ever try to clean one?"

Name SPOOKS FROM FIRE ISLAND
Action Try this skit during Fire Prevention week. It was developed by Den Leaders at a Cub Scout leaders’ conference at Philmont Scout Ranch.

CAST: 7 GHOSTS, Cub Scouts dressed as ghosts (Or use decorated ghost paper puppets.)

SETTING: Dim lights Draped sheet over table for graveyard effect.

1st GHOST: I smoked and smoked and smoked in bed and now you see that I am dead.

2nd GHOST: My Pop said frayed wires were O.K., I became a spook without delay.

3rd GHOST: I saved oily rags to use again, no telling what I might have been.

4th GHOST: We thought the campfire under control, I just climbed out of my 6-foot hole.

5th GHOST: While in a hurry the hot grease splattered; I didn’t know it really mattered.

6th GHOST: I played with matches, it was such fun, ‘Til I caught fire and began to run.

7th GHOST: I filled with gas the lawn mower hot, so like the others now I’m not.

Name SPRING
Action Gather to the front of the group some people to be trees, birds, and babbling brooks. Then ask for a volunteer to be the most important part, the hero. When he comes to the front, have him run among the trees. Have a little narrative and then say; "Maybe the rest of you wonder when we know it's spring; that's easy, because the sap is running through the tress."
Name Spring is Sprung!
Action A one person skit that is one of my perennial favorites, and another one of those repetitive skits.

Cast: Poet, Grass, Flowers, Birds, Frogs, 3 Trees, Victim

Setting: A Poetry Reading Session

DO NOT READ THIS POEM IN ITS ENTIRETY; READ IT LINE BY LINE AS INSTRUCTED; AT EACH STOP, GET YOUR VOLUNTEERS!

Spring is sprung,

The grass is growing,

The flowers are blooming,

the birds are singing,

And the froggies are ribbitting.

The leaves on the trees are growing,

And the sap is running through the trees.

The poet is standing in front of the crowd and announces his ode to spring.

Poet: This is my latest poem, called Sp-ring is Sp-rung. (A great place to ham it up, by lengthening out all the "r" "l" words.)

Reads out the first line and proceeds to the next -- stops at "the grass..."

Poet: Hmm. I need some grass to demonstrate. (Get "grass.") Here, do just like this (crouch down; hands over head, put together pointing up, then stand up slowly.) Now, let's start again.

Starts again, the grass grows on cue, and gets to third line -- stops after blooming.

Poet: I need at least one flower. (Get "flower.") You would be a great help. Just like the grass, only make a circle with your hands instead when you're standing up.

Starts again, grass grows, flower blooms, gets to the fourth line, just before the word "birds" and of course stops.

Poet: I need a couple of birds. (Get "birds.") On cue, you will chirp like birds, and perhaps flap your arms.

He starts again, gets to the frogs, hits his head with his hand,

Poet: I forgot the frogs. (Get "frogs.") You guys know how to jump like frogs and go "ribbitt?" Good. Remember, on cue.

Yet again, he starts from the beginning, and guess what happens when he gets to the trees? You got it, Pontiac -- he gets 3 trees, spreads them a few feet apart and instructs them to lift out their arms like tree branches, and wiggling their fingers, of course on cue.

Poet: I think I may have it right this time.

Once more from the top he goes, and BEFORE he starts the last line, he gets the victim,

Poet: Oops, I forgot the last person. (Get your victim now.) Now on cue, you will simply run back and forth between these here trees. Got it? Great.

Once more he goes through the poem and gets through it all the way.

Name
Name St. Peter
Action CAST: 4, announcer PROPS: SETUP: St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates, looking saintly, greeting new arrivals.

Announcer: Here we see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Ian: (Walks up to St. Peter) Hello, St. Peter. I see I've come to Heaven.

St. Peter: Well, you're not in yet! First you've got to tell me how you suffered on Earth.

Ian: Well, I spent a week eating Camp <camp_name> food.

St. Peter: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough. (Ian exits dejectedly.)

Doug: (Enters) Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.

St. Peter: Fine, fine. And how have you suffered?

Doug: I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my feet, and fell into poison ivy.

St. Peter: Sorry. That's not enough suffering to get into Heaven. (Doug exits)

Brad : (Enters) Can I get into Heaven?

St. Peter: How did you suffer?

Brad : I'm in (Pick someone who can take a joke) (troop/pack/class, etc.)

St. Peter: Well, then, you've suffered plenty! Come on in!!

Name Star Gazing
Action A scout walks to the center of the campfire looking up at the sky, keeping his head and neck very still. Soon he is joined by another scout and then another and so on. Each scout looks around and then begins to look toward the sky. The last scout enters and asked the scout next to him, "what are we looking at. He answers "I don't know." and then that scout asked the next until the question and get to the original scout. The original scout replies: "I don't know. I've got a stiff neck!"
Name Statues in the Park
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: none SETUP: The scene is a park with a statue. (boy, posing as a famous statue such as The Thinker or The Discus Thrower) A person introduces himself as Dr. Arthritic Kneecap of the University of Amputation and Mutilation.

Dr. Kneecap explains having discovered a formula to revitalize calcium and mineral deposits. It even would work on this statue he says. The doctor pours the bottle on the statue which slowly comes to life. The statue and the professor talk about being alive. The doctor then asks the statue what is the first thing you want to do. The statue says that he wants to kill 5,000 pigeons with his bare hands.

Name STIFF NECK
Action CAST: SEVERAL CUB SCOUTS

1ST CUB: (Enters, looking up at the sky.)

2ND CUB: (Enters, looks at the first person who is still looking at the sky, and then also looks up at the sky.)

NEXT CUBS: (Enter, one by one, look at the first person who is still looking at the sky, and then they too look up at the sky.

(This continues for a while until all but 2 CUBS are standing around looking at the sky.)

NEXT-TO-LAST CUB: (Enters, looks at the previous people who are still looking up at the sky, and then he too looks up at the sky)

LAST CUB: (To NEXT-TO-LAST CUB) What are you looking at?

(NEXT-TO-LAST-CUB, in turn, asks the person ahead of him the same question and it goes on up the line until it reaches the 1ST CUB.

1ST CUB: I’m not looking at anything. I have a stiff neck.

Name Storm at Sea
Action You begin by asking for two volunteers (usually YOU pick the two most mischievous girls).

Ask them to pull a kagoule (a raincoat, for North Americans) over the two of them and lie down on the ground (they are supposedly in a ship at night at sea). You ask them each to look up one of the sleeves, which are pull vertically up towards the sky.

Then the leader starts to tell the story of a ship at sea, getting caught in a storm. You ask the two volunteers in the kagoule to roll from side to side, as if they were being tossed about at sea.

The leader then continues with the story, stating that there is a lighthouse in view, at which point the leader shines a torch down each sleeve, and ask the girls whether they can see the beam. Which they confirm they can.

The sea gets rougher and rougher, when suddenly a huge wave breaks over the deck. At this point,the leader tips a mug of water down each sleeve.

This story usually receives screams of laughter from the audience girls, when they see the mugs of water and they realize what is about to happen, and then the screams from the 'volunteers' as the water goes down the sleeves of the kagoule and soaks them.

It a good way of getting your own back on those cheeky ones, but BEWARE of their revenge !

Name Submarine Patrol
Action All the Scouts are standing in a line one behind the next. Each time the first boy says his line to the second boy. The second boy repeats it to the third. This continues until it reaches the last boy in the back. The boy in the back then replies. This message gets relayed to the front in a similar fashion.

First to last- Lower periscope (last boy flips a switch)

Last to first- Periscope lowered (first boy turns his hat backwards and looks through periscope)

First to last- Fire torpedo 1 (last boy flips a switch)

Last to first- Torpedo 1 away.

First to last- We missed.

Last to first- Darn!

First to last- Fire torpedo 2 (last boy flips a switch)

Last to first- Torpedo 2 away (All the boys get into a football huddle, arms interlocked)

All together- "We sunk a rowboat! We sunk a rowboat!"

Name Submarine Training
Action Another 2-person skit you can use on the spur of the moment, if you just so happen to have the props, the main ones being the raincoat and drawings.

Cast: Story teller, Victim, appropriate sound effects Helpers, raincoat, cup of water

Storyteller: I need a volunteer to take submarine training. (Put victim under the coat and hold up an arm of the coat to use as a periscope.) Now to be a good submarine captain, you must be able to use the periscope. So let's practice a bit. Can you see the fire? How about those tents? The table? The moon? The stars? (Continue until (s)he becomes proficient.) Let's start our mission. You are the captain of this fine submarine, the S.S. Kaput. You are to bring it about on maneuvers and sink enemy ships. So here we go, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Oh! Here comes an enemy ship to the right! Can you see him? (Show a drawing of a ship.) Blow him up! (When he fires, sink the ship.) Good going! Now turn the submarine to port, and then to starboard (Left right.) Oh, Oh -- there's a storm brewing. (Shake him a bit.) Do you see that Island? Try to go there to seek cover. Can you see the waves? My, aren't they big? And they're crashing against the rocks! What a big storm! Can you see it? Can you see the waves? No? (Pour the water down the arm.)

Name Submarine (Version 1):
Action Get one volunteer from the audience and the den/patrol lines up sitting in a straight line with the volunteer at the end. The scout in front (Captain) looks through his periscope and yells, "Enemy Ship!" which is repeated down the line. The Captain then issues the following commands which are repeated down the line: "Fire Torpedo One!...."We Missed!"...."Fire Two!"..."We Missed!"...."Fire Three!"...."We Missed Again, You Blockhead"...."Enemy Torpedo Coming our Way!"...."We've Sprung a Leak"....as the last command is repeated the next to the last person throws hidden confetti on the last person in line; the volunteer.
Name Submarine (Version 2)
Action CAST: PROPS: hats SETUP: The cast is lined up in a straight line, with the torpedo operator at the far end. The Captain, hat on backwards, looks through the periscope.

Captain: (Yells) "Enemy Ship!" (This is repeated down the line to the operator at the end.)

Captain: "Fire Torpedo One!...." (repeated down the line)

Torpedo: "I don't know how." (repeated back up-line)

Captain: "Pull the red chain, push the blue knob" (pulls on the person's hat and pushes his chest, repeated down line, and the operator fires the torpedo) "We Missed!"....

Captain: "Fire Two!"... (repeat above) "We Missed!"....

Captain: "Fire Three!".... (repeat above) "We Missed Again, You Blockhead"....

Captain: "Enemy Torpedo Coming our Way!".... "We've been hit!"....]

[The Captain takes out a gun (hand like a fist with thumb up and first finger out) and shoots himself, falling down dead. This is repeated down the line to the last person who looks at the gun with a confused expression]

Torpedo: "I don't know how!"

Name Successful Fisherman
Action Five or six fishermen sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their lines. One fisherman is catching all the fish: the others have no luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fsherman why he's doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth, and nobody can tell what he is saying. When the last person asks the question, the successful fisherman sighs, spits into bis hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm." --from Akela Walt Vandekieft, 1st Port Wallace Cubs, Dartmouth, N.S.
Name Suckers
Action 2 towels

you will need 2 actors( a grocery store cashier and a costomer) and 2 volunteers who do not know anything about the skit

first, you must ask for two volunteers from the audience. when they come up ask them to each hold up one of the towels. now have your customer walk into the store. he asks you for a chocolate bar and you reply by saying "sorry we don't have any chocolate bars". The customer seems disapointed so he asks for a soda. You reply by saying,"sorry we don't have any soda". Again the customer is disapointed so he asks for some gummy bears. you again answer him by saying "sorry we don't have any gummy bears". the customer is now very angry and asks" what do you have in here?" you say " all I have are these two suckers" and point to the people holding up the towels

Name Suicide
Action A News reporter enters the stage and complains that there is no news. He sees a cliff and decides to jump off. He stands on the edge of the cliff ready to jump; he begins to swing his arms and to count to three…. 1…2…as he gets to two a Second person runs on shouting STOP! What are you doing? The new reporter explains. The Second mans decides that he'll Jump too, as he is the sheriff of this small town and there is no crime and his cell is empty. As they both prepare to jump a third man runs on…1st and 2nd men explain what they are doing…. He decides that he will also jump because he is a Doctor with no patients. Then a Dairy farmer runs on as he has an udder disaster because his herd has no milk. Finally they all jump except for the reporter…he shouts excitedly " wow! Now I really have a story to write about! Four People jump from a cliff in mass suicide!"

From: D-Bar-S Scout Ranch, MI, 1994 (were I was on staff)

Name Superhero Hall of Fame
Action Equipment: Several boyscouts (superheros), two volunteers (one preferably a scoutleader), and a cup of water.
Preparation: Prior to the skit, tell the boys that they will be impersonating superheros in a hall of fame. Let them pick out superheros to impersonate, but the last one must be aquaman. Backstage, just before walking out, have aquaman take a gulp of water and have him hold it in his mouth.

Action: Have the boys line up in front of the audence with Aquaman on the end. Call your "helpers" up out of the audence and tell them that they will be going through a superhero hall of fame. As you go down the line, tap or hit each boy to start. The boy will impersonate the charactor; Superman acts as if he was flying, The Flash as if he was running, so forth down the line. At the end of the line, Aquaman gets tapped, but does nothing. You turn to the leader and ask him to help you. You both pump his arms as if you were at an old fasioned well. Aquaman then turns to the leader and sprays him in the face with water. Then you RUN and hope that the scoutleader is slower!!!

Name Super Clutz
Action Once done at a campfire and it went smoothly. Then when it was finished, the author was exiting the stage and accidentally kicked over a lantern. Eerily appropriate, wouldn't you say?

Cast: Super Clutz, Little Kid, 3 People

Setting: City Street

Super Clutz is wearing a jacket for a cape, inside out shirt, inside out shorts, backwards hat, etc.

Little Kid: (Crying) Super Clutz! Can you help me? I've lost a quarter!

Super Clutz: OK. I'll try my best! (Walks around on streets, looking to ground for quarter.)

Man: (Calling out from burning building) Super Clutz! The building is on fire! Help Me!

Super Clutz: Sorry, I'm busy! (Walks around some more.)

Woman: (Being mugged) Help me, Super Clutz! They've taken my purse!

Super Clutz: Sorry! I'm busy! (Walks around some more.)

Man: (From wrecked car) Super Clutz! Get me out of here before the car blows up!

Super Clutz: Sorry! I'm busy!

Little kid runs up to him.

Kid: Super Klutz! I found my quarter! It was in my pocket all the time!

Name Tag, You're It
Action Two counselors everyone recognizes, Chuck and Ray.

Chuck with a club is chasing Ray, who is running. Run through the audience, hide behind the master of ceremonies, whatever. No holds barred, Ray must run and Chuck must grab him. But they both run out of the ring without one catching the other.

Next interlude, Ray comes into the ring panting. Has anyone seen Chuck? Ray is trying to hide, but Chuck seems to find him wherever he goes. Don't tell him where I am! Then you hear Chuck yelling from outside the ring, and Ray runs off. Chuck chases after him, intent on blood it seems.

Next interlude, Chuck comes into the ring panting carrying his club. Has anyone seen that no-good Ray? Chuck is going to get him, and when he catches him he's going to give it to Ray good. Ray is actually hiding in the audience, wearing a poncho and groucho-marx glasses. Chuck spots him, Ray jumps up and runs off.

Next interlude, they come crashing in again, but Ray trips. Chuck towers over him, raises his club, then taps him with his other hand. "You're it!" He drops the club and runs. Ray picks up the club and chases him.

Name Taking the Penguins for a Ride
Action Equipment "Penguin Keeper", penguins, police officer Preparation Action A man with a busload of penguins chugs across the stage. A police officer stops the driver and asks, "Where are you taking these penguins?" The driver replies, "I'm taking them to the beach." The officer advises him to take them to the zoo instead. The driver obliges, changes direction, and chugs off with the penguins. The driver chugs back on stage with his busload of penguins. The police officer stops him again: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!" The driver replies, "I did. They had a great time. Now I'm taking them to the movies."
Name Tankety Tank
Action This skit requires little preparation and no props, and has only two speaking parts. It can use a cast of hundreds, and it is full of blood, gore, and dead bodies. That makes it perfect for Cub Scouts and campfires.

Preparation

The Wizard and the lone Scout need to rehearse their lines, and everybody should practice a few times. The practice is as much fun as the skit. Encourage all participants to ham it up. The Wizard should wear a long bathrobe.

The Skit

A lone Scout rushes onto the stage and screams that the enemy is coming. He has no weapons to fight with! What should he do? "I know. I'll have to ask the Wizard. It's my only chance to save humanity from the terrible enemy."

The Wizard enters the stage, and the Scout rushes to him begging for help. The Wizard tells him not to panic, and hands him a secret invisible sword. The Wizard explains the sword, and tells him to say, "Stabety Stab!" when he uses it. The Wizard assures the Scout that this magic sword will protect him.

The Wizard retires to a quiet corner of the stage.

The Scout is delighted. He waves the sword around, and tells everybody about it. He boasts about what he will do with it. He moves to one end of the stage.

Several enemy soldiers sneak onto the other side of the stage, saying, "There he is" and "Let's get him." The Scout panics as they approach, worries aloud about what to do, and finally remembers to use the magic sword. Yelling "Stabety Stab!" over and over, he kills all of the enemy in a mighty battle. He is very proud of himself, and boasts of his ability.

More enemy soldiers begin to enter. The Scout starts forward, yelling "Stabety Stab!" but the enemy keeps on coming. The Scout rushes back to the Wizard for more help. The Wizard gives him an invisible gun, telling him to yell, "Bangety Bang!"

Again the Scout boasts about his weapon, goes into battle, and kills all the enemy. Again he boasts that he can defeat any enemy with the Wizard's magic weapons.

The situation is repeated, and the Scout tries "Bangety Bang!" and "Stabety Stab!" without success. This time the Wizard gives him a magic laser, for which the Scout yells, "Zapety Zap!" Again he kills all the enemy and boasts. The Wizard quietly disappears.

A single enemy soldier enters the stage. He is the biggest Scout in camp. He creeps slowly forward, as our Scout boasts about how easily he can defeat the enemy. The enemy soldier ignores the "Stabety Stab!", "Bangety Bang!", and "Zapety Zap!", as the Scout tries them several times. The Scout looks desperately for the Wizard.

The enemy moves faster across the stage. As he knocks the Scout down and runs over him, he yells, "Tankety Tank! Tankety Tank!"

Name Telephone Answering
Action Pete: "Hello, this is Pete."

Pat: "Hello Pete. What's up?"

Pete: "I'm in Winnipeg and I'm broke and I need $100 right away."

Pat: "What's that, Pete? I can't hear you. Must be a bad line."

Pete: "I said I want to borrow $100."

Pat: "Pete, I can't hear what you're saying. Bad line."

Operator: "Hello, this is the operator. I can hear him clearly."

Pat: "Then you give him the $100!"

Name Telling Time
Action Group of scouts play like they are american indians. One asks the other what time it is and another one says he does't know, lets find out. They huddle in a circle with arms around each other and quietly chant "hey-ya hey-ya" while doing mild dance steps. then they break and walk around with their hand on their ears trying to listen to something. this is then repeated only chanting louder. Then it is repeated a third time yelling loudly. then when they are listening, a scout in the woods out of sight yells: "Quiet you indians, it's 3 oclock in the morning!"
Name Tenting
Action Scene: Two Cubs in a pup tent.

Cub 1: Tie up the flap. It's cold outside!

Cub 2: Oh, go to sleep and you won't feel the cold.

Cub 1: Oh please close the flap. It's so cold outside!

Cub 2: Jumps up, pulls down the flap, jumps back into sleeping bag). Now, there. Is it warmer outside?

Name Thar's a Bear
Action CAST: 1 leader, 4-8 volunteers PROPS: none SETUP: The object is to set up a bear warning system. Set up four to eight fellows standing shoulder to shoulder. The leader explains the warning system operates by having each person relaying the warning message.

Leader: "When a bear is sighted, the warning must be given out immediately, like this..."

[To the first person in line...]

Leader: "Thar's a Bar." (correct pronunciation is important)

1st Warner: "Whar?" (be certain that he pronounces it correct; if not correct him.)

Leader: "Over Thar." (pointing with his right hand and arm extended)

A to B: "Thar's a Bar." (if he points now, correct him.)

B: "Whar?"

A: "Over Thar." (now he should point, keeping arm extended for the rest of skit)

B - C: "Thar's a Bar." (... and so on until the last one says it to the leader).

[Go through the same procedure with the left hand. The third time have the right leg extended, squatting down. After the last time through the ritual...]

Leader: "You guys are hopeless!"

[then pushes the guy next to him so that the rest will fall like dominoes.]

Name The 5th Floor
Action Cast: Don, Mrs. G., Mr. G., Suzanne, Gary, Friend

Setting: Don is telling his friend a story about his strange friends.

Don: You know, in my friends' house, they have four floors. And each member of the family occupies a floor. The other day, for instance, I went to the kitchen on the first floor, and Mrs. G. was making a roast. I told her, "Mrs. G., you should bake it at 375 degrees." But she told me,

Mrs. G.: (Slaps him in face) Don, you're not making this roast. Keep quiet.

Don: Then I went to the second floor. Mr. G. was working on his model airplane. I said, "Mr. G., you should paint this part red." He told me,

Mr. G.: (Slaps him in face) Don, you're not making this plane. Keep quiet.

Don: Then I went to the third floor. Suzanne was doing on her hair. I said, "Suzanne, you should use some mousse." She spun around, really annoyed, and tells me,

Suzanne: (Slaps him in face) Don, it's not your hair. Keep quiet.

Don: I was losing my nerve, but I went to the fourth floor anyway. Gary was doing his homework. I suggested, "If you type it out, it'll look better and you'll get a better grade." He got really angry and told me,

Gary: (Slaps him in face) Don, it's not your report. Keep quiet.

Teller: Finally, I figured I'd go to the fifth floor and ...

Friend: But wait a minute. You said there were only four floors!

Teller: (Slaps him in the face) Keep quiet! This is my skit!

Name The Airplane
Action 7-Scouts acts as the pilot, co-pilot and radioman on an airliner. 4 other scouts are on the wings as the engines, on the wings of the plane.

The pilot announces to co-pilot that engine one has failed. Engine one (ham this up) sputters, makes noise and dies, Co-pilot instructs radioman to inform tower and tell them they will be arriving 15 minutes late(radioman radios tower and repeats message). Soon after engine two fails, repeat the process again but this time tell the tower they will be 30 minutes late. Then engine three with more panic tell the tower we will be 1 hour late. Finally the pilot announces the fourth and final engine has failed. The radioman then says: "Boys I'd better radio the tower, we may be up here all day!"

Name The Bad Turn
Action Cub #1: (to Den Leader) I did a bad turn.

Den Leader: Now, (Cubs Name), you know you should always do Good Turns.

Cub #1: I tried. Honest.

Den Leader: OK.

(Each Cub enters and says similar things to the Den Leader)

Last Cub: (carrying a small fry pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good turn. Watch. (flips pancake over and catches it in pan) But, you should see the mess in the kitchen! (other Cubs look ashamed)

Name The Banana-Bandana Sketch
Action Magician: "Hello, hello, what a wonderful crowd we have today! My first trick will be the Disappearing Bandana Trick. For this trick I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

A (fake) volunteer comes up from the audience.

M "Now don't watch me." The magician and volunteer face in opposite directions. The magician takes out a bandana (or hankerchief). "First, of course, you need a bandana. Do you have a bandana?"

The volunteer, holding up a banana: "Yep."

Magician, opening his bandana and waving it a bit "First, open up the bandana."

The volunteer obediently peels the banana.

Magician, carefully folding the bandana"Now fold it."

Volunteer "Um, fold it, you say?"

Magician, slightly irritated "Yes, fold it."

Volunteer, folding the banana "Well, OK"

Magician, folding the bandana smaller "And fold it again, and again."

Volunteer fold the banana several times, making mush, and making facial expressions like he's not sure the magician is in possession of his senses.

Magician, holding his fist out behind him: "OK? Now, stuff the bandana into my fist."

Volunteer, stuffing the mushed banana into the magician's fist as the magician turns around and stares in disgust "Fine, have the banana. I'm through with this stupid skit!" and the volunteer storms off stage

Name The Baseball Game
Action This is great fun in warm weather at a campfire, and it takes a little practice for the perpetrators. There is plenty of room for variation, depending on what the Scouts can imagine and how the volunteers react at the time. As usual, the Scapegoat gets wet.

Preparation

You will need an Announcer and a Pitcher, but the Batters will be volunteers. The first Volunteer should be told what is happening ahead of time, so that his performance shows others how it's done. Set up a sheet a backdrop. Two Scouts hide behind it, one with a flashlight and the other with a bucket of water (but be sure that the audience does not see the bucket). The flashlight is held against the sheet to simulate the ball. The movement of the light is the key to the whole skit.

A baseball bat or a thick stick is needed for the batter, and a baseball glove for the Pitcher. Use a roll of canvas and a stick (or something similar) to simulate the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's glove (done by a Scout behind the sheet). If it is dark, have two strong flashlights shining on the Pitcher and Batter.

The Skit

The Announcer comes on stage and tells the audience that there will be a baseball pitching demonstration. He introduces the Pitcher as the greatest pitcher of all time, who will show us his famous specialty pitches. After a buildup about how great the Pitcher is, the Announcer positions the Pitcher at one end of the sheet.

The Announcer asks for members of the audience to volunteer to try to hit this famous pitcher's best pitches. The first volunteer is given the bat and placed at the other end of the sheet. The Announcer explains that the Pitcher will throw one pitch, and the Batter must do his best to hit the ball.

The Pitcher winds up and pretends to throw, as the Announcer narrates ("He's set. He winds up. There's the pitch!" The Scout behind the screen moves his light rapidly down the sheet. The Announcer yells, "Fast ball!" The Batter swings hard. We hear the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt. The Announcer says, "A strike! You're Out!" The Batter returns to his seat.

Another Batter is recruited. This time the Announcer calls out a curve ball, which curves wildly across the sheet. The Batter is again called out. The process continues with a knuckleball and a screwball.

Finally, the Announcer introduces the famous Pitcher's dreaded Secret Pitch. He asks for a special volunteer, of especially outstanding baseball ability and unusual courage, to try to hit this pitch. A Scapegoat is volunteered by the Announcer and encouraged to come up.

The Batter is carefully placed, and the ball is pitched. As it comes to the Batter, the Announcer cries, "Watch out! It's a spitball!"

His warning comes too late, as water cascades over the sheet onto the Batter.

Name The Beer Commercial
Action Actor(s), Director, Cameraman, Others in a studio Setting: Studio

Director: Okay, People! Let's get going!

Cameraman: But Sir!

Director: No interruptions! Action!

(Actor, speaking in a dull voice, does a commercial for Scout Beer, talking about its great taste, made from dishwater and leftover porridge, and lots of the special ingredient, "Hop to it," which the Scout leader often said, from Scout camp when ...)

Director: Cut! That sounded like you don't like the stuff! Sound sincere! Okay! Let's try it again!

Cameraman: But Sir!

Director: No buts! Action!

(Actor begins again, appropriately sincere, and there are the usual interruptions by the director, saying it's too fast, too slow, whispers into the actor's ear (who then checks his zipper) until finally, everything goes smoothly. )

(All the while, the Cameraman keeps on interrupting the Director at the same time.)

Director: Cut! And Print! That was fantastic! Let's get out of here!

Cameraman: But Sir! We don't have any film!

Name The Bigger Jerk
Action A simple, one person skit that is great for those loose moments in a campfire.

Cast: 1 Person, log (or imaginary mower), "Volunteer," Victim

Person: (Groans and grunts as he's bent over carrying "heavy" mower.) Uhh. (Lets it down.) These old models, I tell you. They are so heavy, and they don't work well. Maybe I should buy a new mower this week. Well, let's get going. (Pulls rip cord to start, but it won't start. Makes appropriate sputtering noises. Tries again and again. Maybe get a "volunteer" to help. Again, no success. Get your victim to try, and on first try, it sputters to great life!) I guess it just needed a bigger jerk!

Name The Blue and Gold Banquet
Action Characters: Some Cubs dressed as parents and seated at a table decorated as for a Blue Gold banquet. One Cub Scout dressed as a Cub waiter -- with an apron and a towel over his arm.

Narrator: It is the annual Blue Gold banquet at Pack 999. Every year, the Cub Scouts at Pack 999 serve as waiters and cooked for their parents. The boys try very hard to do a good job, but every year a few little things seem to go wrong. Let's see what is happening this year....

Parent #1: Excuse me, Johnny. Is this coffee or tea? It tasted like kerosene.

Cub waiter: Then it's coffee. The tea tastes like gasoline.

Parent #2: I hope you'll hurry and bring my food. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.

Cub waiter: Then you've come to the right place!

Parent #3: Why do you have your fingers on top of my food?

Cub waiter: (serving plate with his hand all over it) So it won't fall on the floor again.

Parent #4: Why are you stomping on my steak?

Cub waiter: (stomping something on floor) Because when you told me to bring you your food, you said to "step on it."

Parent #5: I'm afraid there's a fly in my soup.

Cub waiter: Don't worry. There's no extra charge.

Parent #5: There really is a fly in my soup.

Cub waiter: What did you expect at a Blue and Gold banquet -- a humming bird?

Narrator: Ah, yes. Another Blue and Gold banquet at Pack 999. Good eating, everyone.

Name The Briefcase
Action Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing.

Reply: "I'm taking my case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them.

"I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).

4. Final entry, without a case: "I lost my case"

This can of course be expanded. Seen in a variety show with many other things happening (mostly knock-knock jokes) in turn. Can be good when done properly.

Name The Bubble Gum in the Studios
Action A quick, 2-person skit you can use to fill a moment when a six or patrol isn't ready (but should be.)

Cast: Announcer, Boy

Setting: Stage

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the world famous WHEEL OF FISH! (Boy comes crawling onto stage.) I say, young man, what are you doing down there?

Boy: (Looking up) I'm looking for my bubble gum!

Announcer: Well, where did you lose it?

Boy: Backstage!

Announcer: Then why look here?

Boy: The lighting is better here!

Name The Bubble Gum on the Street
Action Kid, Dog, Basketball Player, Car, Jogger and Old Man Setting: City Street

Kid: Blowing bubbles is just great. Watch. (Blows imaginary bubble; it pops and lands somewhere on the ground.) Hmm. Where did it go? I should look for it. (Goes around and exits, still looking for it.)

(Enter dog, who stops, sniffs at gum, pees on it, and exits. Basketball player is dribbling ball when it gets stuck on the gum-he tries to loosen it and finally does. Car drives right over it. Jogger goes by, his foot gets stuck on it; old man comes by and his cane gets stuck on it. Finally, Kid comes back.)

Kid: Ahh! There's my piece of gum! (Picks it up, pops it in his mouth and continues chewing.)

Name The Cancer Sketch
Action Three scouts surround a scout on a table.

"Oh, Doctor, do you think you can save him?"

"I don't know. The patient has a bad case of cancer. This will be tough. Knife."

The nurse hands him a knife. "Knife, sir"

"Fork"

The nurse hands him a fork. "Fork, sir"

"Salt and Pepper"

The nurse hands him salt and pepper. "Salt and pepper, sir"

"We have found the liver"

"Here are the bowels, sir" Bowels smell bad. "Eewwww!"

"Monkey wrench. I have found the cancer." Nurse hands him a monkey wrench.

"Tweezers. There, that should do it."

"You have removed the can, sir!" The nurse holds up an old tin can.

Name The Candy Shop
Action Ask for two volunteers, who just stand there in the candy shop.

A customer comes in and asks for chocolate covered cherries. Sorry, no chocolate covered cherries. Peanut brittle? Sorry, just sold our last peanut brittle. Toffee. You must have toffee. Um, well, not today. Licorice? Fresh out of licorice.

Well, what do you have? "Well, all we've got are these two suckers."

Name The Candy Shop
Action Ask for two volunteers, who just stand there in the candy shop.

A customer comes in and asks for chocolate covered cherries. Sorry, no chocolate covered cherries. Peanut brittle? Sorry, just sold our last peanut brittle. Toffee. You must have toffee. Um, well, not today. Licorice? Fresh out of licorice.

Well, what do you have? "Well, all we've got are these two suckers."

Name The Candy Store
Action This one can be really hammed up and included the kid walking up in a dance kind of way and the old storekeeper, being old, very laboriously climbing up a ladder, getting the candy jar, coming down, counting out the candies, and so on.

Cast: Old storekeeper, very young kid (4 years old)

Setting: A Candy Store

Kid: (Kid walks up to storekeeper and asks) I want five of those penny candies way up at the top.

Storekeeper: You mean those penny candies, way, way, waaaaaayy up top?

Kid: Yes, please.

Storekeeper: Sigh! (Kid takes innocent pleasure in watching the storekeeper go up.)

Storekeeper climbs up and get him five candies, and receives the five cents.

This scene repeats itself several times over 3 more days, with the storekeeper being more and more tired each time and becoming equally more frustrated until,

Storekeeper: Oh! I see that kid coming. I know what he's coming to get, so I'll climb up now to get the candies before he comes in and have it ready for him. (Kid walks in.) I bet I know what you want. I bet you want five of the penny candies from way up top, right?

Kid: Nope! Not today!

Storekeeper: Sigh! Now I have to climb back up to put them away. (He climbs up, puts them away, then comes down.) Now, sonny, what would you like today?

Kid: I would like three of those penny candies way up at the top!

Name The Candy Store Another Version
Action Props: Need a Scout stave, or a stick about 1" diameter x 5' long.

Pick out 2 unknowing people from the group to hold up either end of the stick about elbow high. Let them know the stick they're holding in now a counter in a candy store.

Scout #1 stands behind the stick, acts like he's working behind the counter.

Scout #2 strolls up..."Hmm...a candy store...gee, I'm hungry." Goes up to the counter.

#1: "Can I help you?"

#2: "Yea, I'd really like a Hershey bar."

#1: "Sorry, fresh out of Hershey bars."

#2: "Thanks anyway" and leaves dejected.

Repeat the above scene 3 or 4 times with different scouts, asking for different candy bars, all with the same negative response.

Finally, have all the scouts enter the "store".

#2: "Gee, mister, we asked for Hershey bars, Milky Ways, etc., and each time you said you were fresh out. Do you really have any candy in this candy store?"

#1: "Why, sure I do."

#2: "Well, what do you have?"

#1: "Well, especially for you today, right here I have TWO SUCKERS ON A STICK!"

Name The Car
Action Have the girls putting on the skit start to build a car - one person is a wheel, seat, steering engine etc. Each couple of people have the engine try to run. The girls in the know, splutter, groan and sound like a dying engine.

Add a few volunteers from the audience - each with a job - the car continues to rattle and groan. Add one last person ( on whom the joke is played) asking them to hold together two "parts". This time the car purrs - turn to the audience and say " just what I thought...we needed one more nut!"

Keep in mind that you should pick people with a sense of humour or the joke can fall flat.

Name The Chase
Action Two scouts on stage talking about last night's whatever. From off stage someone starts screaming " There after me, there after me!" The two scouts on stage look around wondering whats going on. The screaming runs on stage and trys hidding behind the other scouts who move out from his way, all the time still screaming, '' There after me !!'' over and over. Other souts ask ''Who's after you?'' Screaming scout answers ''The squirrels! They think I'm NUTS!!!'' Every one runs off stage
Name The Coffee Table
Action This one was done at a District Cuboree, by the ADC Cubs and his Service Team. They pulled in Pack Scouters to help as 'furniture' and left the best piece of furniture to some justly deserved scouter - which is where the punch-line becomes obvious.

Scene: A new apartment which the owner is trying to sell. Initially the apartment is empty.

The first potential occupant is shown around, and the beautiful view, well laid out kitchen, etc. is stressed. This person leaves the scene muttering about looking for a furnished place.

The owner then solicits the help of Pack Scouters to act as pieces of furniture (Dining table, sofa, TV, etc - anything but a coffee table).

Once the pieces are in place a new client is shown around, andmore interest is expressed, however this person leaves muttering about the need for a FULLY furnished apartment.

Our creative owner then gets more help from Pack Scouters, perhaps as a throw-rug, hall lamp, reading lamp, etc. This can be dragged on for as long as necessary, depending on audience reaction, cold weather, etc. At some point the owner asked the 'justly deserving' scouter to help out. <Totally unsuspecting, I walked right into this one !> This scouter is asked to represent a coffee table - so he must be on his hands and knees.

A new client is then shown around, and, after the appropriate comments on the apartment layout, furnishings, etc., our client asks "What floor are we on?" at the response of "40th floor" our client looks out of the 'window' and staggers away, holding head, "I feel faint, I'm afraid of heights !"

Our sincere owner then suggests that the client sits down and has a glass of water - <a large cup of water is handed to the 'owner' by a helper>. After taking a couple of sips, the client places the large cup of water on the coffee table, and then leaves.

The owner then makes some comment about it being too difficult to sell/rent the apartment, and decides to return all the furnishings. In a load voice he thanks the Scouters for helping with the skit and asks them to return to the campfire circle.

Unforunately, our 'justly deserving' scouter cannot move, as he has a large cup of water placed squarely on his back.

The cubs were very quick to spot how this skit was to end - thankfully it was warm evening and it didn't take long for me to dry out.

Name The Compass
Action CAST: Scoutmaster, announcer, 3 or more Scouts. PROPS: A compass and a map. SETUP: Scouts are gathered around the SM with the map and compass.

Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.

Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination. John, you try that.

[John Does as instructed, exits, re-enters]

Scoutmaster: In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use that to find where you are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill top.

[Other boys Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments. This continues for a few moments]

Scoutmaster: All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up tonight's compass lesson. There is just one more important point! Never, never buy a TATES compass.

Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass?

Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"

Name The Complaining Monk
Action Monk, Abbot, narrator Scene: Abbot's office

Narrator: This skit is about the monks in a monastery who are only allowed to speak two words every ten years. Our friendly monk is about to come in and say his two words, after ten long years of silence.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: Bad food!

Narrator: Well, ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He of course is not quite as young as he used to be, and walks a touch more slowly.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: Uncomfortable bed!

Narrator: Well, yet another ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He is really old at this point, having been at the monastery for thirty, long, devoted years.

Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?

Monk: I quit!

Abbot: I'm not surprised! You've been here for thirty years and all you've done is complain!

Name The Council Fire
Action Characters: Any number of Indians including one Big Chief.

Setting: Indians grouped around a campfire. All are very sad.

1st Indian: I fear big trouble in making. (all grunt)

2nd Indian: Must do big magic to stop many wars.

3rd Indian: How?

4th Indian: Big worry makes head ache with thinking. (all grunt)

Big Chief: Great Spirit give me wisdom to treat problem. I must go to White Man. (Rises from campfire and goes to center of stage. He addresses the audience.) We all wish for peaceful moons and plentiful corn. Maybe we need know word from each other. Please help me and repeat after me the words I say.

Big Chief: Oh Wa

Audience: Oh Wa

Big Chief: Ta Goo

Audience: Ta Goo

Big Chief: Si Am

Audience: Si Am

Big Chief: Very good, I think we are learning. (all Indians nod in agreement) Please one more time to go faster into land of knowledge. (Repeat chant as before only faster and faster until it is fast enough so that they can combine syllables and come up with the meaning: "Oh What A Goose I Am")

Name The Dangerous Tent
Action Cast: 2 guys, 2 bikers

Setting: Campground

#1: Well, time to go to bed. AND I GET THE TENT! (Beats up little guy.)

#2: But... Oh well, it's no use. (He sets up his sleeping bag under the stars.)

Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises come in.) Ha! Ha! Let's beat up this guy! (They beat up little guy.)

Next morning,

#2: Hey! Last night some bikers came here and beat me up!

#1: You're just jealous that I took the tent. Be a man.

The next night and morning, the same routine occurs, with the little guy complaining even more. Finally, the big guy lets the little guy have the tent, with much ado about him being a wimp. That night,

Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises come in.) You know, I think we've beat up on the guy outside enough the past two nights. Let's beat up the guy inside the tent tonight!

Name The Dead Body
Action CAST: 2 (may use another for the police dispatcher to expand on the skit) PROPS: none SETUP: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps,

Scout: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where?.... Uh..." (looking for a sign)

"I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g..." (confused)

"Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm!"

Name The Dead Fly
Action Equipment: 4 boys and a boulder
Preparation: line the four boys up backstage and have them come in on cue. set the boulder in the middle

Action: Have the first boy come in and look at the rock and say,"hey cool, a dead fly i'm gonna pull its head off" have the boy walk off stage and the next boy walks in and says" hey cool a dead fly i'm gonna pull its wings off". Have this boy run off and have the next boy come in and say" hey cool a dead fly i'm gonna pull it's wings off". Have him walk off stage and another scout walk on casually looking around . when he sees the boulder he says "cool a raisin" have him act as if hes eating something and then say" juicy" and then walk off the stage

Name THE DEN MOTHER'S BOUQUET
Action Characters: Six Cub Scouts in summer uniform or Cub Scout T-shirts.

Scene: A nature walk.

Props: Cub - fashioned bouquet, with strands of ivy.

Cub 1: Gee, Fellas. I don't think Mrs. Brown's having a very good time.

Cub 2: Well, you didn't help things much, giving her that garter snake.

Cub 3: I was just trying to help her collect stuff for our nature display at pack meeting.

Cub 4: Yeah...and you heard what she said! "Nothin' ever again, that moves by itself."

Cub 3: So...now I know better!

Cub 5: Don't worry about a thing, you guys. I'm gonna fix everything.

Cub 6: Yeah? How?

Cub 5: Well, you know how nutty women are about flowers? So, I picked her this neat bunch of flowers...(he holds up bouquet, with trailing strands of ivy)... See?

Cub 6: Oh no... (wails). We'll never get to go on another hike!

Cub 5: How come?

Cub 6: Cause...that's poison ivy!!

Name The Dudley Doright Skit
Action The only one who knows what is going on in this skit is the narrator. Everyone else is actual volunteers from the audience. It may work best if the narrator just wings it; here's one go at it.

"For this skit, I need four volunteers from the audience. You, you, you, and you. Now this is the Dudley Doright skit. You're going to be Snydely Whiplash, the evil villian. Can you do an evil villian laugh?"

whiplash "Hnuck, hnuck hnuck!"

"Well I suppose that will do. How about, 'Curses, foiled again'?"

whiplash "Curses, Foiled Again!"

"OK, stand there and look evil and scheming. Now you will be Dudley Doright, the Canadian Mountie, the hero. I need you to say, 'I'll save you, Nell!'."

Dudley"I'll save you, Nell!"

"Fine, fine. You, you're Nell. You're a maiden in distress. Look more distressed. Now cry for help."

"Help! Help! Oh save me, Dudley!"

"And you have to say, 'My hero!' whenever I mention Dudley. Dudley."

"My Hero!"

"Um, yes. And you're Dudley's horse, Horse. Look horselike. Now our continuing Stooory begins with the evil Snydely Whiplash carrying off Nell (Whiplash, you're supposed to be carrying Nell. Pick her up, carry her. Keep looking evil.), where was I, carrying Nell to the railroad tracks and tying her in front of the approaching train."

"In, fact, let's have a fifth volunteer" pick someone large "You're the train. You're going to run over over Nell if Dudley doesn't rescue her."

"Now where was I. Ah, Snydely Whiplash is carrying off Nell. He's tying her to the railroad tracks. He gives an evil laugh. Nell is crying for help. The train is chugging along the track in the distance, slowly approaching. Dudley hears Nell's cries for help, and he rides to the rescue."

"When Snydely Whiplash sees Dudley Doright, he starts quaking in his boots" Snydely bites his fingernails and shakes his knees.

"Dudley, the very image of manhood, is about to foil Snydely's schemes. He flexes his muscles. He does jumpingjacks. He does pushups."

"Snydely, sensing the opportunity, sits on Dudley, and gives an evil laugh, as the train comes closer and closer!"

"Horse, peacefully grazing, nibbles through Nell's ropes."

"Nell escapes! She pulls Snydely back and sits on him! Snydely curses."

"Curses! Foiled again!"

"While Dudley, brushing himself off, wanders in front of the oncoming train! What will happen next? Will Dudley survive? Will Snydely ever succeed? And what about Horse? Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of Dudley Doright, the Canadian Mountie!"

Name The Dumb Actors
Action "I once directed this skit and, having prepared it with the kids a few weeks prior to the actual campfire (and the kids being from another group), I'd forgotten that I had to arrange for their brooms. So in the middle of the skit, I remembered about the brooms and quickly ran into the camp kitchen to get the brooms!

"It seems to me that this one perhaps could use a little "setting the scene" -- perhaps start off with the "actors" standing around on break, and the Director calling them in, saying that they'd had enough time already. On that note, I once participated in the presentation of this skit. I was a fifth cleaner who was sort of on break, sort of working. I had a coffee cup, a broom, some towels, etc. I would go up and clean the camera, sweep around the son who was lying on the ground, occasionally try to interrupt, but not quite manage to, etc. After a verbatim presentation as follows, I added in, "Yeah guys, let's get back to work!"

"Otherwise known as "At the Movies" from the Leader Magazine -- text from the Best of the Leader Magazine Cut Out Pages." Author

Cast: Director, Others in a Studio (Clapper Board, Lighting Men), Mother, Son, Doctor, Undertaker, brooms for the actors

Director: Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene one, Take one!

The actors play the scene without the least sign of emotion as lighting people follow and cameraman films. Mother is flipping pancakes at the stove when son walks in.

Son: Mom, I don't feel too well. (He collapses)

Mom: (Goes over, looks at son.) Oh, I'd better call the doctor. (Moves to the phone, dials making click, click, click sounds.) Doctor, come quick. My son's collapsed.

Doctor: (Enters, checks pulse and breathing.) He's dead. I'd better call the undertaker. (Goes to phone, dials making dialing sounds like Mom did.)

Undertaker, you'd better come. I have a dead body here.

Undertaker: (Enters and begins to measure the body.)

Director: (Jumps up.) Cut! Cut! That was terrible. You had no emotion AT

ALL! Let's do it again. This time, give me more emotion!

Cast: (Exiting) Right. More emotion.

Director: Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene one, Take Two!

The actors redo the scene, using exactly the same words, but with great hammy histrionics. Mom weeps uncontrollably throughout, son dies very dramatically, etc. At the same point as in Take One, the Director yells, "Cut! Cut!"

Director: That was better, but too fast. Let's try again. This time, slow it down. Lights, Camera, Action!

Clapper: Scene on, Take three!

The actors redo the scene in slow motion -- talking slowly, mowing slowly. For example, when the telephone is dialed it goes click ... click ... click ... and after the doctor check's the son's pulse, the son's hand falls slowly back to the floor, etc. The Director yells "Cut!" in the usual place.

Director: That was far too slow! Let's speed it up!

This time the actors do the scene so quickly that the son throws himself to the ground, the doctor is there before Mom can hang up, and so on.

Director: (At the same place) Cut! That was absolutely terrible! Actors? Do you call yourselves actors!!??

Cast: Actors? Who said anything about actors? We're the cleaners! (All pickup brooms and exit.)

Name The Elevator
Action CAST: elevator operator, 4-5 passengers PROPS: none SETUP: An elevator operator is opening the elevator doors and intoning "Ground Floor, going up".

A passenger gets on and begins to jiggle slightly. The elevator operator intones each floor with a description of what's on that floor. (Women's Clothing, Toys, men's clothing, household, etc.) A passenger gets on at each floor and begins to jiggle as well. As the elevator gets higher the passengers begin to jiggle more. When the top floor is reached the passengers begin to jiggle like mad, the operator intones "BATHROOMS" and they all rush quickly off. The operator suddenly looks funny, begins to jiggle, shouts "ME TOO!" and runs off the stage.

Name The Enlarging Machine
Action CAST: 3-man 'machine' crew, leader, etc. PROPS: large log, twig, small rock, large rock, buckets of water. SETUP: Two scouts hold up a blanket with a person behind it with a large log, large rock, and water. The crowd is never to see the setup of the person behind.

Leader: I have just invented an enlarging machine. Whenever something is put in, it comes back out bigger. I want people to come up and try it out, and help me prove it really works. Can I have a volunteer?

[The 1st volunteer is told to throw over the blanket a small twig... out comes the log -- wow amazing].

[2nd vol. is told to throw over a small pebble... out comes the large rock -- wow again (be careful where you throw.)]

[3rd vol. (previously setup) is asked to spit over the top of the blanket... the blanket falls and the volunteer is drenched.]

Variation 1: Drench the leader. Just don't get anyone wet without asking first.

Variation 2: Instead of ending on water take a small scout and throw him in. A large troop/staff/leader member comes running out and chases the person that tossed him in.

Name The Fire
Action You need two players and a behind-scenes person to move the fire (an artificial campfire with invisible strings attached).

The players sit by the fire, reading, doing a puzzle, etc. The fire moves slightly. They don't notice. It moves again; they don't notice. This continues until, finally, the fire is pulled off stage. At that point, one of the players looks at the other and says, "Looks like the fire's gone out again!" - thanks to Scouting (UK) magazine

Name The Firing Squad
Action Version 1: Commander:"Lead the prisoners this way! They must be put to death by the Firing Squad"The Commander, followed by the 5 guards, followed by the 3 prisoners, walk across stage. The prisoners linger at the end.

One of the prisoners: "We've got to escape! If we say there's a natural disaster, maybe the guards will panic and we can escape in the confusion." They catch up with the guards.

Commander:"Bring out the first prisoner! Prepare to shoot him! Ready! Aim!"

Prisoner, waving his arms: "Earthquake!"

The firing squad panics, some hit the ground, some run away, the first prisoner escapes in the confusion.

Commander: "Fools! Our first prisoner has escaped! Bring out the second prisoner! Ready! Aim!"

Second prisoner, waving his arms: "Tornado!"

The firing squad panics, some hit the ground, some run away, the second prisoner escapes in the confusion.

Commander: "Fools! Our second prisoner has escaped! Bring out the third prisoner! Ready! Aim!"

Third prisoner, waving his arms: "Fire!!!"

Version 2: Probably taken from "You Can't Do That on Television."

Cast: Rifle squad, Commander, Person to be executed

Setting: Jail Person about to executed is standing at pole, doing a crossword puzzle.

Commander: Ready, aim ... What are you doing?

Person: The crossword puzzle from today's New York Times. A real tough one.

Commander: Did you know I'm about to have you executed?

Person: Sure. Here ... a four letter word meaning burning ... Hmm ... Do you have any idea?

Commander: Four letters -- burning -- (takes puzzle, walks in front of pole, person sneaks away) -- F-I-R-E ! FIRE! It fits! Firing squad shoots and he buckles over with one of those knowing looks on his face.

Name The Fisherman
Action Props needed: one chair, one fishing pole, green garbage bag half filled with crumpled paper.

The Scene set-up: Leader sits on chair, holding pole, making like he is fishing. Another leader announces that the scene takes place on a frozen lake. The sitting leader is obviously a successful fisherman, because look at all of the fish that he has in his garbage bag.

First Leader: (Walks on) Wow! Look at all of the fish! What's your secret? Etc., etc...

Fisherman mumbles a reply but doesn't open mouth... first leader says can't understand reply... while first leader is trying to get fisherman to say something, second leader walks on, and goes through the 'Wow... What's your secret?' routine.... Fisherman mumbles a reply, but still doesn't open mouth. Continue this until all of the leaders are on stage, with all leaders commenting on 'What's your secret?'.... Once all of the leaders are on stage, everyone starts to get angry at fisherman for not replying in a way that they can understand.., etc., etc.

Finally, fisherman cups hands under his mouth, and goes 'Patooee', and says something like: 'Well, the secret to my success is that you have to keep the worms warm!'.

Grossed the cubs out, but this skit has been done at every campfire since then.

Name The Fishing Trip
Action Cast: 4 to 8 Cub Scouts.

Props: Fishing gear, a small row boat or cardboard silhouette of a boat, and a sign that says "boat dock".

Setting: The scene starts with the boat about 10 feet away from the boat dock. The Cub Scouts and their Den Chief are on their way to go fishing. The first Cub stops at the dock then walks out across the water and gets in the boat.

Boy 2: Hey wait for me! (he walks out to the boat)

Den Chief: Oh well... (steps into the water and pretends to fall in and drags himself back to shore)

Boy 3: Hey wait up. Here I come (walks out to the boat)

The Den Chief tries and fails again. The sequence continues until all the boys are in the boat and only the Den Chief remains on shore. Finally, one of the Cub Scouts says: "Should we tell him where the rocks are?"

Name The Flea Circus
Action Characters: Ringmaster, Cub Scouts in Uniform (any number).

RINGMASTER: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to introduce the Den _____ Flea Circus. We will now present Hugo, who will walk the tightrope. When he reaches the center, he will turn a double somersault. May we have silence, please?

[Two Cubs stretch a string. Third Cub places "flea" on the string. Cubs follow movement of flea with exaggerated head movements, as it walks to the center of the string, and turns the somersault. One boy with his mouth open gets too close to the string and gulps as if he had swallowed a "flea".)

FIRST CUB: [Puts hand over mouth, gulps loudly.] I swallowed Hugo! [Begins to cry and leaves stage.]

RINGMASTER: Err...uh...well... On with the show. Our next act is about to begin. Homer will jump from this boy's hand into a dish of water. Keep in mind the size of this tiny fellow.

[Boy makes motion of tossing "flea" into dish, then retrieves him in hand.]

RINGMASTER: Well done, Homer. Give the little guy a big hand.

[Boy claps quickly, forgetting Homer...looks shocked, and slowly parts hands, sobs and runs off stage.

RINGMASTER: Too bad. But we must compose ourselves. Our next fabulous act features Hector, the weight lifting Flea. Hector is the strongest flea in the world. That rock may not seem large to you, but think of how small Hector is... compare his size to the size of this rock.

[Boy puts Hector on table, proudly points to him, flexes muscles, and points to Hector again.]

RINGMASTER: [To boy] Hold up that rock so the audience can get a better look at it.

[Boy holds up rock in one hand for audience to see... then plops rock back down on table without looking. Looks around for Hector, picks up rock and finds smashed Hector.]

BOY: Hector! Hector! [Sobs, hangs head, and leaves stage.]

RINGMASTER: We seem to be having a bit of hard luck. But the show must go on. I now introduce Harry, the bare-back riding flea.

[Boy removes shirt, then pretends to place "flea" on his bare back, then runs off stage yelling.]

BOY: Hang on, Harry! [Looks over shoulder while running offstage.]

RINGMASTER: [Relieved.] He made it! And now Hiram and Hillary will perform their world famous trapeze act. Hillary will make a triple somersault and Hiram will catch her.

[Boys hold up trapeze made of soda straws with a string through them. Two boys each hold one. Third boy places "flea" on trapeze and begin to swing it.]

RINGMASTER: There they go! Watch them swing! Hillary lets go, she's turning a somersault. One, two, three, and Hiram catch.. er.. misses her!

[Boys begin looking for Hillary on the floor.]

BOY: There she is! Points to floor near second boy.]

SECOND BOY: Where? [Takes a step where other boy pointed.]

BOY: You just stepped on her! Oh well, she needed more practice, anyway. Say, [to Ringmaster] we have another flea act for you. He's a man eating flea! [Opens box] Oops, he got away!

[Ringmaster begins to scratch frantically, yells help several times, and runs off stage. (Preferably into audience. ;) )

BOYS: [Chasing him] Hey! Bring back our flea! We want our flea!

[Curtain]

Name The Fly
Action Guy is sleeping, fly buzzes, he tries to shoo it away, doesn't work, buzz buzz, he gets up and tries to swat it with a mime flyswatter. Misses, misses, can't find the fly, back to sleep.

Fly comes back, swat swat swat, jerk head about tracking the fly, swat swat, lose track of it, where is it? back to sleep.

Fly comes back, angry now, swat swat swat swat swat ... you got it! Pick it up by the wing, look at it real close, try to make it fly again, no it's just dead. Eat it, go back to sleep.

Name The Fortune Teller
Action This is a campfire skit. You can plan it carefully if you want. If you have a good spontaneous actor, he might be able to ad-lib responses to each object presented to him, without advance planning. The Announcer should always tell the audience what object is given to the Fortune Teller, because they usually will not be able to see clearly.

The Skit

A small tent is set up, with an old lady sitting in front of it. This can be a Scout wrapped up in a blanket, who speaks with an old lady's voice. An Announcer introduces her as a very accurate teller of fortunes who can predict a person's future by touching anything belonging to the person.

The Announcer calls up a series of Scouts. He asks the first Scout what he has brought, and the Scout produces a pencil. The Announcer hands the pencil to the Fortune Teller and asks her to tell the future of the owner. The Fortune Teller waves her hands and mumbles some words and then predicts that the owner will become a writer.

The scene is repeated. A Scout produces a comb from his pocket, and the Fortune Teller predicts that he will become a hairdresser. A third Scout has a dollar, and she predicts that he will become a successful banker.

After several of these, the Scapegoat is summoned from the audience. The announcer asks what he has to show the Fortune Teller. No matter what the Scapegoat suggests, the Announcer says it is not good enough. Either it has been done before, or it is too easy, or "That's no fun!", or any other reason. Finally, the Announcer suggests that the Scapegoat try his shoe, and makes him take it off.

The shoe is handed to the Fortuneteller, who repeats her mumbo jumbo. (If the Fortune Teller is a good pantomime, this is a wonderful opportunity to make faces, hold her nose, etc.) She then announces, "You will take a long walk in the woods!" She throws the shoe far into the woods.

Name The Four Seasons
Action The narrator narrates, everyone else is volunteers.

"I need eleven volunteers for this skit."

"This skit is called the Four Seasons. You three are trees. You three are leaves in trees, get up in the trees. You're poison ivy, cling to the roots of one of the trees. You're tree's blood, you run through the trees. You two are birds, flit from tree to tree and sing. And you're the babbling brook. You have to babble."

"Babble babble babble babble ..."

"In the spring, the leaves come out on the trees. The birds flit from tree to tree."

"In the summer, the leaves open up and the sun shines down on the forest. The birds form flocks"

"In the fall, the leaves drop from the trees. The birds fly away south."

"In the winter, the brook freezes and stops babbling. All seems still in the forest. But beneath it all there is still life. Look! The sap is still running!"

Name The Frightened Hunter
Action Cast: Story teller, hunter, game warden

The story teller tells the story, while the hunter pantomimes the story and his actions. The game warden comes in on cue.

Story Teller: There once was this hunter who was hunting for several years in the same location. Every year, he would see a deer grazing on the edge of a cliff, which was just outside the allowed hunting zone. The deer would never come into the hunting zone. Now this was a very big deer, and would have been a wonderful prize. But the hunter was always unsure, and didn't want to lose his license. Finally one year, the hunter decided that he was going to shoot the deer anyway, as he wasn't having much luck. He went up to the deer, saw that it was dead, and threw it over his right shoulder, then put his gun over his left shoulder. All of a sudden, the game warder came up to him.

Game Warden: Excuse me, sir, I was just watching you. What's that over your shoulder?

Hunter: (looking over left shoulder) That's my hunting rifle.

Game Warden: And what's that over your other shoulder?

Hunter: (looking over right shoulder, and shakes off the deer) AAHHHHHH!

Name The Frogs Go Whee!
Action Little frogs, a frog leader. Preparation Action A frog leader is directing a frog chorus. They can be singing any song you all know -- just sing it in "ribbits." One by one the little frogs come up and tug on the frog leader saying, "I wanna go WEE! I wanna go WEE!" The frog leader whispers, "Not NOW!" and sends each back to its place in the chorus. Repeat this until each little frog has asked to go "wee" and the leader is at wits' end trying to hold the chorus together. At last the leader gives up. "ALL RIGHT. You can all go wee now!" As the leader turns away, the little frogs all jump into the air together and yell "WHEEEEEE!"
Name The General Store
Action The scene is a general store, with the Storekeeper behind the counter. The counter is easily represented by a long table with a few items piled on it.

Behind the Storekeeper is a curtain, which conceals another Scout, the Storekeeper's Son. He has a full change of clothes with him.

The Skit

The Storekeeper introduces himself. He explains that this is his store and his Son helps him to run it. He is very proud of how hard he works to satisfy every customer, no matter what the customer wants.

A customer enters, walks up to the counter, and asks for a hat. The Storekeeper turns and calls out, "Hey Son, I need a hat." The curtain moves, and a hand reaches through with a hat. The customer admires it, and they agree on a price. The customer pays, puts on the hat, and walks out acting pleased.

Other customers repeat the process for a jacket, a shirt, shoes, socks, and a pair of pants. Each time, there is more movement of the curtain, and a longer delay before the clothing is handed through the curtain. There are sounds of grumbling, and the Storekeeper reminds his son about their commitment to sell whatever the customer needs.

The last customer walks in hesitantly and asks in embarrassed tones for underwear. The Storekeeper does not hear him, and makes him repeat it until everybody can hear clearly. Finally he says, "Oh of course. Underwear! Son, we need some underwear." Nothing happens.

The Storekeeper repeats his request several times, each time emphasizing the word, "Underwear." There is no answer. He apologizes to his customer for his lazy son, and says he will get the underwear himself. He stomps off behind the curtain.

The curtain shakes, and we hear, "No, Pa! No, Pa! No!" The Son runs through the curtain and across the stage wearing only underpants.

Name The German POW Camp
Action A colonel standing straight and goosestepping is followed by five prisoners of war, hunched and tired and cold.

"Ziss iss a P.O.W. Camp, and you vill march!"

The last prisoner sneezes"Achoo!"

The guard turns around "Who iss it who sneezed? Did you sneeze?"

First prisoner: "No"

"Liar!" The colonel shoots the first prisoner, who falls down dead. They keep marching.

The last person sneezes. "Achoo!"

... and so on, until the colonel has killed all but the last prisoner, and they are still marching. The last prisoner sneezes again, "Achoo!"

The guard turns around "Who iss it who sneezed? Did you sneeze?"

"Yes, it was me"

"Gesundheit!" and they march off stage.

Name The Ghost of Midnight
Action This one is similar to the Ghost With One Black Eye, but each is different enough to merit their own title (after all, going through all of the skits, you'll realize that many skits are simple variations on another.)

Cast: Ghost, Family asleep in house

Setting: House at Night

Ghost: (Going up to Mom, wakes her up -- uses scary ghost voice.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Mom: Ahhh!

Ghost: (To Dad -- same thing.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Dad: I'm getting out of here!

Ghost: (To son.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Son: Help! Mommy!

Ghost: (To daughter.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!

Daughter: (Looks at watch.) Aww, shut up! It's only 11:45!

Name The Good Samaritan
Action A Scout walks out from backstage, stumbles, and falls on his face. He struggles noisily to get up, but keeps his forehead on the floor. He sometimes succeeds in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the floor, and his butt in the air. He rotates in this position, keeping his forehead in one place. He calls for help for help, repeating "My forehead is stuck!"

As he struggles, other Scouts walk casually past. They ignore him, or look with curiosity, but they do not help.

Finally, a Scout comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet. The victim is effusively grateful, but the rescuer just looks at his face. He reaches out, plucks something from the victim's forehead, and pops it into his mouth. "Thanks," he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere around here!"

Name The Greatest Spitter in the World
Action Another 2-person skit you can plug in.

Cast: GSITW, Partner with metal pot (with a bit of water in it) and a pebble

Setting: Boardwalk, Circus, Amusement Park

Separate GSITW and partner by about 15 feet.

Partner: Ladies and Gentlemen! May I present to you the Greatest Spitter in the World! He does all kinds of tricks with a mere spit! Let him show you the simple spit first!

GSITW sends off a regular spit, which is caught in the pot by the partner. When it's supposed to land, he hits the bottom of the pot with a secret pebble he holds in his hand.

Partner: Ladies and Gents! That is not all he can do! Watch his fastball!

Again, another spit which immediately "lands" in the pot. Continue with tricks, such as slow spit, high spit, round the world spit (in which case each turns around, backs facing each other, and the spit takes a while to come around but indeed does,) curve spit, and so on. Finally,

Partner: Now for his last spit! It's a really difficult spit but we think we have it! It's a high, quadruple axle, curvy, spring jump spit! We must have absolute silence for this one!

GSITW spits up, partner follows it up, doing 4 spins, it curves side to side, begins to jump up and down in air, then he seems to lose it ... no, there it is ... he goes side to side, trying to catch it, he trips and spills the water on the crowd.

Name The Great Aug
Action Important Guy: "OK, Aug, I want you to sell these pencils."

Aug: "Pen-solls"

Important Guy: "That's right, Aug. Now, when you see someone coming down the street, I want you to tell them what you're selling."

Aug: "Pen-solls"

Important Guy: "Yes, Aug. Be more enthusiastic about it!"

Aug, waving his hands in the air: "Pen-Solls!!!"

Important Guy: "Very good, Aug. Now, people will want to buy your pencils, and they'll ask how much they are. They come in $2, $5, and $10 packs. Got that?"

Aug: "Pen-solls?"

Important Guy: "No: Two, Five, Ten."

Aug: "Two .. Five ... Ten!!!"

Important Guy: "I think you've got that. Now Aug, one more thing. Someone might ask why they should buy your pencils. If they ask that, Aug, I want you to tell them this. 'If you don't, somebody else will'".

Aug: "If you dont ... somebody else will!"

Important Guy: "Very good. Now, get out there and sell pencils!"

The important guy wanders offstage, and Aug wanders to the other side of the stage. A man on the street approaches Aug. Aug runs to him waving his hands.

Aug, in his face: "Pen-Solls!!!"

Man on street: "Hey, you're a real jerk! How many people have you done this to?"

Aug "Two, Five, Ten!"

Man on steed: "You're really asking for a punch in the mouth, buddy."

Aug "If you don't .. somebody else will!"

Man on street punches Aug, who falls flat, that's the end of the skit.

Name THE GREAT SEAL
Action Scene: Group of Cub Scouts are talking.

1st Cub: Bet you never heard of the Great Seal of the United States.

2nd Cub: You lose. I certainly have heard of it.

1st Cub: Okay. I'll bet you don't know where to find a picture of it.

2nd Cub: You win. Where?

1st Cub: On a dollar bill. Look. (Holds up dollar bill.)

2nd Cub: You mean the picture of George Washington?

1st Cub: No, turn the bill over and look at the two circular designs.

2nd Cub: That's the Great Seal? Why are there two designs?

1st Cub: That's the front and back of the Great Seal, like the front and back side of a coin.

3rd Cub: What do the designs mean?

1st Cub: First there is the eagle. That's our national symbol. The shield over the eagle's breast has 13 strips.

4th Cub: For the 13 original states?

1st Cub: Right!

5th Cub: (Looking at bill.) What's the eagle holding in his beak?

1st Cub: It's a ribbon with the words "E pluribus unum" which is Latin for "one from many".

4th Cub: Meaning one nation from many states?

1st Cub: Right!

3rd Cub: What's the eagle holding in his claws?

2nd Cub: I know. There is an olive branch, the symbol of peace, with 13 leaves.

4th Cub: And he's holding 13 arrows in the other claw, which means that we intend to defend our freedom.

1st Cub: Do you know why the eagle is facing right?

2nd Cub: It means that peace is right. Peace is first.

3rd Cub: What does the pyramid mean?

1st Cub: The pyramid is a symbol of strength and lasting power. But notice that it's flat on top - unfinished. That means the nation is unfinished. We still have a big job ahead.

4th Cub: What is that triangular eye above the pyramid?

5th Cub: I think it represents God watching over us.

3rd Cub: Gosh, I never realized there was so much crammed into the Great Seal.

1st Cub: And I'll bet you never realized it was right on a $1 bill.

Name The Greyhound Bus
Action Cast: Shopper with a BIG package higher than his head, Pedestrian, People who are Cars and One Bus

Setting: Busy Intersection

Cars and trucks whiz by and don't stop for pedestrians.

Shopper: Excuse me, Sir, could you tell me when there's nothing coming down the street, so that I may cross?

Pedestrian: Sure. (Pauses until cars stop whizzing by. Bus begins coming down the street.) Now you can cross. There's only a dog coming. (He begins to cross; bus hits him.)

New Setting: Hospital Ward

Pedestrian: (To shopper in bed) Gee, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.

Shopper: It's all right. These things happen once in a while. But tell me, why did you say there was a dog coming down the street when it was really a bus?

Pedestrian: Well, it was a Greyhound!

Name The Growing Machine:
Action The cardboard box needs to be large enough to hold one of the players and various props. "Load" it and push it on stage, where a narrator explains that this marvellous machine has been invented by tonight's guest, Professor..., who will demonstrate its tremendous powers. He introduces the professor, who enters carrying a bag of his props.

The professor explains he has invented a wonderful machine that makes things grow. He proceeds to demonstrate. He pulls a small piece of paper from his sack, pushes buttons, etc., and throws in the piece of paper (sound effects, flashing lights). The player inside throws out a paperback book. The demonstration continues with small ball in, large ball out; piece of string in, hunk of rope out; etc. Finally, the professor throws in a baby doll. The player inside jumps out in baby clothes, cries "Daddy!", and chases him off stage.

Name The Hair Cut Machine:
Action The cardboard box needs to be large enough for a player to poke in his head. Face the opening away from the audience. Set up a striped pole and use a few other barbershop props. The "customer" wears a tight fitting light-coloured bathing cap to hide his hair and, over the cap, a long scraggly wig loose-fitting enough that he can shake it off when he needs to but well enough anchored that it won't fly off too early.

Barber is on stage. Customer enters and asks for a hair cut. Barber checks him out, announces he thinks this is a job for his brand new haircut machine, and convinces the customer to try it. Customer sticks his head into the back of the box and barber turns it on (sound effects). Customer yells, flails, flops and goes through incredible contortions, shaking off the wig in the process. Barber, unperturbed, turns off the machine. Customer pulls out "bald" head and races screaming off stage.

Name The Heart Attack
Action Cast: Heart Attack Victim, 2 "Rescuers"

Setting: City Street

HAV is walking down the street and all of a sudden, he falls to the ground, holding his chest. Two men come up and seeing this, they begin CPR.

#1: Mister! (Claps hands.) Hmm. Check for breathing! I'll check for a pulse! (nothing) We need to do CPR. Give AR!

#2: (Does two breaths)

#1: (Pumping chest, counting aloud) 1,2,3,4....15! Again!

(Repeats 3 times; then checks; then.)

#1: Okay -- check for breathing, and I'll check for a pulse! (They check.)

Nothing! Switch!

All THREE, including victim, switch places!

Name The Highest Tree climber in the World
Action Again, this can be a 2-person skit.

Cast: 2 Friends, HTCITW

Setting: Campfire

Tree climber is hidden in the woods and is able to ruffle a bush or tree.

1: You know, they say there's this really good tree climber trying out for the Olympics. I wonder if he's practicing around here?

2: Call out and see!

1: Hey! Tree Climber! You around here?

Climber: Yep!

1: You practicing?

Climber: Yep!

1: How high are you?

Climber: Oh, not high. About 100 feet.

1: Wow! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 200 feet.

1: Fantastic! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 275 feet.

1: Neato! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 325 feet.

1: Great! Can you go higher?

Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 400 feet.

1: Gee! I'm amazed!

2: Excuse me, Sir, but I have a book here that says that the highest tree in the world is only 360 feet high!

Climber: Ahhhhhh!!!!!! (Thump!)

Name The Important Meeting
Action Equipment: Newreporter, members in a meeting
Preparation:

Action: Six to eight players sit around a table scattered with papers, a couple of water glasses, etc. They mime a discussion, some jotting down notes, etc. Enter the narrator, outfitted as a news reporter. In confidential tones, the reporter explains that this is an important meeting of the group committee, gathered on this occasion to make some very important decisions.

As the narrator says something like, "Let's see if we can get a bit closer to hear how things are going," the group at the table add some mumbling and unintelligible arguing to their mime. Occasionally, they punctuate the din with outbursts such as, "No, no!", "I disagree!", "That's better", "No Way!", "That might work" and the like. Finally, the bubbub dies, the group settles back. One member stands and announces, "Then it's decided; a 12 slice pizza with olives, mushrooms, lots of cheese, but hold the pepperoni." All respond: "Agreed".

Name The Important Papers
Action Version 1: CAST: king, 3-4 couriers PROPS: papers, roll of toilet paper SETUP: The setting can be either a king or a boss in his office.

The leader beckons to a courier or assistant that he wants his royal/important papers. The person runs in with a sheath of papers, the king/boss is quite agitated, tosses them aside and demands that they bring him his important papers.

Other people bring in other papers one at a time, but the king/boss throws them all aside and gets more and more upset, demanding that he must have his important papers.

At last the court jester/office boy comes in with a roll of toilet paper. The king knights him/boss promotes him, thanking him profusely, and runs off the stage in visible relief.

Version 2:

ROYAL GUARD: (enters and announces) "His Majesty, the King!" (King enters, followed by his court. He sits on his throne)

KING: (bellowing authoritatively) "Bring me my important papers."

A ROYAL SUBJECT: (humbly offering some documents) "Here, sire, here are your important papers.

KING: (slaps the documents away) "BAH! Bring me my important papers."

ANOTHER ROYAL SUBJECT: (humbly and scared offering documents)"Here, your majesty. Here are your papers".

KING: (in a rage) "Off with his head! I want my important papers!" (just then a knave walks by carrying a roll of toilet paper)

KING: "Ahh, my important papers!" (grabs roll and exits quickly).

Name The Infantry
Action A variation of the Viper.

A scout runs in to a camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! The infantry is five miles away!" The soldiers look up, mumble, and act nervous.

A scout runs into the camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! The infantry is one mile away!" The soldiers stand up and start gathering their gear.

A scout runs into the camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! They're just over the hill!" All the soldiers scream and run away, opposite direction that the scout came from.

Two people run in from the direction the scouts came from, carrying an infant tree. They run after the soldiers.

-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins

Version 2:

Cast: 3-4 People, Person carrying a sapling

#1: (Runs in) The Infantry is coming! Go to the bomb shelters!

#2: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Save yourselves!

#3: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's help them!

#4: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's watch the tanks!

(A moment later)

Person: And here it is, the Infant Tree.

Name The Injury
Action One person is laying on the floor. Two other people walk up.

First person: "Hey this guy is hurt." he goes and checks his heart beat.

First person: "No heart beat, help me do CPR"

Second person goes down and starts pumping on the chest and the first guy does the mouth blows. Do this for a little while.

Second person: "I'm getting kind of tired here I think it is time to switch."

First person: "OK, ready"

At this point the person on the ground gets up, one of the other people goes down and they start doing CPR again.

There you go, this is a good skit to do with leaders.

-- Thanks to Chris Hennessy

Name The Inspection
Action Cast: Leader, 3-4 Kids in messy uniforms, missing hats, inside out, not tucked in, and so on, and One Kid in perfect, full uniform

Setting: Meeting Hall

Leader: Troop! (Does the sign.) Line up for inspection.

Kid in perfect uniform is at end of line. Leader checks each one, says "Hmm," at each one, writes down something. Gets to last kid.

Leader: Johnny! You're in perfect uniform! How many times will it take for you to get it right! You make the others look bad!

Name The Invisible Bench
Action 4 (or more) scouts .

First boy is squatting as though sitting on an invisible bench. The second boy comes in and asks what the first is doing.

"I'm sitting on the invisible bench."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure, there's plenty of room."

Second boy pretends to sit.

A third boy comes along, and the scene repeats.

Go on for as many boys as you want.

When the last boy comes along, asks and is answered, he says "But I moved it over there this morning!"

Everyone sitting on bench says "AAAAHHHHHH!!!!" or "Oh No!" All seated boys fall down.

Name The Jump
Action One of those exceptionally good skits that is known out there but strangely is rarely ever done; always a hit. (Probably any good joke makes an exceptional skit; the key is not repeating it too often.)

Cast: Reporter, Doctor, Bus driver, Pilot, Mechanic, Cook, Tax Consultant (and/or just about whoever you need -- the only constant is the Reporter.)

Setting: Cliff

Reporter: I haven't had a single story in weeks, so I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff. (Swings arms to 1,2,3) One ... Two ... (Suddenly,)

Doctor: Hey! What are you doing?

Reporter: I haven't had a single story in weeks, so I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff. Why are you here?

Doctor: I haven't had a patient come to visit me in weeks. And I goofed all of the operations I've filled in for. Hey! Why don't we commit suicide together?

Reporter: That sounds great. (They swing arms to 1,2,3) One ... Two ...

Bus Driver: Hey! What are you doing?

Reporter: I haven't had a single story in weeks, so I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff.

Doctor: I haven't had a patient come to visit me in weeks. And I goofed all of the operations I've filled in for. So we're going to commit suicide by jumping off this cliff. Why are you here?

Bus Driver: I keep on having accidents with my bus, so they fired me. Hey! Why don't we commit suicide together?

Reporter and Doctor: That sounds great. (They swing arms to 1,2,3) One ... Two ...

Pilot comes in at the same time and asks what's going on -- same thing happens, he gets asked why he's here, so he says that he keeps on crashing planes. They all are about to jump when the cook comes in, and the same thing happens, and he says that he always burns the food he cooks. They all are about to jump when the tax consultant comes in and explains, the same way the others did, that he keeps giving bad tax advice and the government is jailing his customers for tax fraud. Finally, they all are about to jump, and they do -- except for the reporter who says,

Reporter: Hey! What a story!

Name The King's Message
Action Equipment Chair, blanket for cape, tinfoil crown, notepaper, tins in a big pot.

Preparation

Action KING: Listen carefully everyone! The palace is surrounded by that awful gang, the Yellow Fingers. I must get a message through to my friend, the King of Sardinia. Sir Lancelot, take this message [hands note] and go as fast as you can.

LANCELOT: Yes, your Majesty. [exits]

FX: [offstage Lancelot yells and groans, while tins are banged about to simulate battle

LANCELOT: [enters limping] They're terrible your Majesty. I could not fight my way through!

KING: Off to the hospital with you. Sir Ramsbottom, take this message and go forth.

RAMSBOTTOM: I'll do my best your Kingship. [exits]

FX: [as before]

RAMSBOTTOM: [enters, bad limp, arm hanging loose] I fought like a wild man your Kingship, but it is no use.

KING: Go and join Lancelot in the hospital. Sir Farthingsworth, it is your turn. The Kingdom depends on you!

FARTHINGSWORTH: Yes my Liege. I'll get the message through!

FX: [as before]

FARTHINGSWORTH: [crawling in] There is no hope my Liege.

KING: Off you go to join the others. Pages, come here! You have seen how terrible this gang is, but I have no choice. You must take the message.

PAGES: [in unison] Gladly your Majesty. [exit skipping]

KING: [pacing around campfire] Probably all is lost. They have been gone a long time now, but I heard no sounds of battle. They probably killed the little fellows off just like that. [snaps fingers]

PAGES: [enter skipping] There you are your Majesty, a message from the King of Sardinia.

KING: You've done it! You've done it! However did you manage?

PAGES: [breaking into song] Let your Pages do the walking though the Yellow Fingers.

Name The King's Raisins
Action "I am the King. Bring me my raisins!"

First squire "Here are raisins, sire, from the hills of California!"

"Those raisins are not fit for peasants! Bring me my raisins!"

Second squire "Here are raisins, sire, from the vinyards of France!"

"They are hardly worth sneezing at. Bring me my raisins!"

Third squire "These raisins, sire, were handpicked with tweezers by Benedictine Monks in Germany! Bring me my royal raisin supplier!"

Two guys drag in the royal raisin supplier

"Why have you not brought me my raisins?"

Royal raisin supplier "My rabbit died!"

Name The King's Royal Papers
Action Equipment: King, courtiers, queen, herald, court jester, etc.
Preparation:

Action: The king is on this throne. He beckons to a herald and whispers something. The herald announces, "The king demands his royal papers!" A courtier runs in with a sheaf of papers. The king tosses them aside. and says off with his head. guards takes the courtier to the exicutuioner and chops his head off. The herald makes the announcement again. The queen runs in with newspapers. The king tosses these aside too. and says off with his head. guards takes the courtier to the exicutuioner and chops his head off. Another announcement is made. The king is getting more and more agitated. The herald announces with desperation. People run in with magazines, letters, books, etc. None of this seems to be what the king means by "royal papers." and they loose thier head. The court jester (or the prince) comes in and presents the king with . . . a roll of toilet paper. The king grabs his sword, knights the jester, and runs off.
Name The Land Shark
Action The scene is a living room with a radio playing. A Scout is changing stations. There is an announcement, read from off stage: "We interrupt this station to bring you an important news bulletin. A criminal known as the Land Shark has been seen on the streets of this town! He knocks on the doors of suspecting people, disguises his voice, and upon entrance, devours them leaving no traces. If the Land Shark shows up at your door, do not open it, and call the police immediately. We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcast."

Scout, turning off radio: "I hope that Land Shark doesn't show up here."

Three loud knocks are heard. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Pizza delivery"

Scout: "Oh, great! Come on in!" He reaches offstage to open the door. Hands reach out and pull him off with a loud growl. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on another Scout: "I've heard so many rumors about that Land Shark. I'm curious." (Three loud knocks.) "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Luke Paterson from Metropolitan Life."

Scout: "What do you want?"

Offstage: "I need to review your policy. Your never know when something might happen!"

Scout: "Come in." Opens door. Loud growl. Grabbed and pulled offstage. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on an older Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Pharmacy delivery."

Scout: "I didn't order any medicine."

Offstage: "Candygram."

Scout: "From whom?"

Offstage: "Plumber."

Scout: "My pipes are fine! Say, I know who this is. It's that nasty Land Shark!"

Offstage, in a small voice: "I'm only a guppy, sir."

Scout: "Oh, all right. Come in, then." Opens the door and is pulled offstage. More growls. Curtain closes.

Curtain opens on an old, sharp Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"

Offstage: "Boy Scout Troop 144. Would you like to buy some fertilizer, sir?"

Scout, looks at the audience and smiles knowingly: "Just a minute." He gets a large stick and prepares to hit the Shark. "Come in."

He swings the stick offstage. There is a loud thump. A very young Scout in full uniform stumbles onto the stage and dramatically falls, face first.

Name THE LATE NEWS
Action Scene: 1 Cub Scout is seated on stage, turning the dial of a radio. The other den members are offstage voices. As the boy on stage turns the dial, we hear:

Voice 1: "Prepackaged pale purple pain pills will stop that ache in your bit toenail. A small bottle of 10 pills costs only a little more than...."

Voice 2: "...a new Chevy Citation which was the only car still running after 200 miles. All other cars in the race had run out of ...."

Voice 3: "...elephants, which were the only source of power available to lift the giant logs. The elephant trainer would sit with his legs locked around..."

Voice 4: "....the rocket, which will be launched from Cape Kennedy next week, will be the first rocket to carry..."

Voice 5: "....100 fat cattle and 200 hogs reported on the way to the stockyards. The animals will be fed..."

Voice 6: "...dynamite or TNT, which should open the passage to allow the boats to operate in the..."

Voice 7: "...bathtub when the water level is at least six inches deep and warm enough for...."

Voice 3: "...the giant logs, which will be used in the construction of..."

Voice 1: "...drug stores. Ask your friendly pharmacist for..."

Voice 2: "....a thunderbird, which maintained a speed greater than any other..."

Name The Lawnmower
Action CAST: Owner, lawnmower, 2 helpers, volunteer from audience. PROPS: none SETUP: One participant is on his hands and knees as the mower.

Owner: (Yanking imaginary rope, while mower sputters) This darned old mower, I can't get it going. I need some help. (Gets help from another participant.)

Helper #1: So you just want me to yank on this rope, and get it started? That's easy! (Yanking rope)

Mower: (Splutters, bobs up and down)

Helper #1: I'm sorry. I can't seem to do it. Have you checked the gas?

Owner: Yes, I have. Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else has a strong arm. (Selects another participant) What I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the starting rope and make it run.

Helper #2: Sure thing. (Yanks rope a couple of times.)

Mower: (Bobs up and down, sputters, coughs)

Helper #2: Sorry, I can't do it either.

Owner: What I need is someone big and strong (Selects a Leader. Leader will probably make some comments, but let him talk and get him to pull the rope)

Mower: (Splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run)

Owner: There. All it needed was a good jerk.

Name The LawnMower Sale
Action Here is a good one "to get" your favorite Scout Leader with.

Need: 3 or 4 boys as lawnmowers, 1 Salesman, and 5 or 6 customers

Lawnmowers on hands and knees in a row. Salesman standing around talking about lawnmower sales: "Lawnmowers, Good Condition, Sale today only. Come and try them"

Customer 1: (walks in) "Hey I'd like to buy a lawnmower. Can I try one?"

Salesman: "Sure give this one a pull" Takes customer to a lawnmower.

Customer 1: Pulls imaginary cord on mower, Lawnmower starts up (Scout makes noise and moves off stage with Cust. 1 pushing...

Repeat the above for (n - 1) lawnmowers. On the last mower, mower won't start, spits and sputters... This happens for all remaining customers. The salesman may even give it a try. Disgusted and concerned about the sale of his last mower, the salesman asks for a volunteer from the audience... Many hands will go up, but salesman will select someone special like Council Executive, Scoutmaster, Commissioner, or Camp Director ... This person will come up and mimic what the others tried to do... Of course the mower starts up immediately and moves off stage..

Salesman turns to audience: "I guess all it needed was a big jerk!"

All exit

Name The Lighthouse
Action CAST: 1 narrator; 3-6 Scouts for the lighthouse walls; 3-6 leaders, counselors, kitchen staff, etc., number to equal the Scouts and will be 'recruited' during the skit.
PROPS: 1 flashlight, or 2 if using 5-6 Scouts
SETUP: Scouts stand in a circle, facing out, feet spread 2' - 3' apart but touching feet of Scouts on each side. The flashlight is held at eye level and is passed around the circle. Scouts stand tall and hold the beacon's beam steady.

Narrator: "Many years ago the people of a seaside village built a lighthouse to warn approaching ships of a dangerous shoal near their harbor. It's beacon could be seen for miles, even in fog and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse stood firm and give safe passage to all who sailed by the village. But as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so did the lighthouse. The villagers could no longer make repairs, the ocean's waves wore away the foundation, the lighthouse started to sag and failed at its duty."

[The Scouts now stoop, heads lean to the side and bend their knees slightly; the light 'travels' a zig-zag path around.]

Narrator: "When the schooners and square riggers started to go aground on the shoals, the old villagers knew they had to call in experienced people to help with their problem. People who were pillars in their own communities and who were solid as a rock."

[Recruit your favorite 'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct them to go down on their hands an knees and into the walls. Leaders are facing in with their derrieres out, and are straddled by the Scouts who again stand tall and give a steady light.]

Narrator: "Now with these new rocks placed into the foundation, the lighthouse once again shines a bright beacon and stands firm in the stormy surf to withstand the pounding of the waves."

[Scouts drop the flashlight and then hand paddle the leaders/volunteers.] another varition is to get the leaders wet when the surf pounds the foundation.

Name The Lighthouse Sketch
Action First of two guys:"This is the lighthouse sketch. We need a volunteer from the audience to be the lighthouse. Any volunteers?" (Pick a girl, but don't say you need a girl.) "OK, you are going to be the lighthouse. I need you to stand up straight right here, and don't move. Oh, you're moving! Stand straight and still."

First guy:"Now we need to row out and light the lighthouse." The two guys sit on the floor, pretending to be in a rowboat. "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" They scoot along backwards to the lighthouse, like they are rowing a rowboat.

First guy: "Now it's time to light the lighthouse. Matches! Matches?"

Second guy, hitting his forhead: "We forgot the matches!"

Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back

First guy: "Matches? Good. Wick?"

Second guy: "We forgot the wick!"

Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back

First guy: "We've got the wick now? Good. Matches?

Second guy: "Um, ..."

First guy> "You forgot the matches again."

Second guy nods. Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back.

First guy: "Matches."

Second guy: "Matches."

First guy: "Wick."

Second guy: "Wick."

First guy: "Finally! Now it's time to light the lighthouse!"

Both guys kiss the girl on the cheeks, then run offstage as fast as they can. Hopefully the girl will blush, lighting the lighthouse.

Name The Lighthouse Story
Action A lighthouse keeper runs in circles, pretending to run up the spiral staircase at the lighthouse, to check on the light on top. The phone rings, and he runs down the spiral staircase. He misses the phone call, and goes back up. The phone rings again and he goes down again.

The lighthouse keeper answers the phone, and finds out that he has two friends coming over to visit. He goes back up the staircase to check light. Knock on the door or a bell rings. He goes down the staircase to anwer the door. He and his friends go up to the top while he checks the light. One friend faints. The lighthouse keeper sends the other friend down to call 911. He starts to call but forgets the number and goes back up to ask. He goes back down calls for the Doctor. He goes back up.

Door bell rings and they go down to answer the door. The doctor enters and they all go up the staircase to where the fainted friend is. The Doctor tells them the fainted friend has to go to the hospital. The pick him up and go down.

On the way out the door the friend asks what that other door is for. The lighthouse keeper says it is the elevator.

(GROAN)

Name The Little Green Ball
Action CAST: 3 - 5 scouts, members of the audience, as desired. PROPS: none SETUP: First scout comes on.

Note: This one is so old, but it appeals to the lads in my troop.

First Scout: 'Oh no I've lost it'

[He then starts to search around on the floor. Second scout comes in.]

Second Scout: "What are you looking for?"

First Scout: "I have lost my little green ball."

[Both scouts continue searching the floor. Several more scouts come on and are told about the lost little green ball. Members of the audience can be persuaded to join in the search. After enough time has been dragged out, the first scout sticks a finger up his nose.]

First Scout: "Don't worry, I will just have to make another one."

Name The Loon Hunt
Action Narrator, two hunters, Medicrin, Loon, wise man Setting: Out in the woods

Narrator: This is the story of the little-known Medicrin and two hunters' efforts to capture it. For instance, watch.

(The Medicrin, which has been dancing around during the Narrator's speech, suddenly spots the two hunters, who blunderingly, and unsuccessfully, attempt to catch the Medicrin. During the next speech, all actors act according to the Narrator's storyline.)

Narrator: Several times our bold hunters attempt to catch this Medicrin; they use traps, "Medicrin" calls, even a sick loon. (Every once in a while the actors make appropriate comments.) But all this was to no avail. Finally, they consulted a wise man.

Hunter 1: Wise man, we have been trying to catch the Medicrin for quite a while, but without any success. We even tried to lure it with a sick loon, because we'd heard that it was a good idea. What do you suggest?

Wise man: (In one of those old, strained, many years-of-experience sage voices,) You have been going about it almost in the right way. But the Medicrin also needs a sweeter trap!

Hunter 1: (Bewildered) Uh... Thank you, Wise man! Let's go!

Hunter 2: What did he mean by a sweeter trap?

Hunter 1: I don't know. Maybe we should feed our sick loon some sugar!

Hunter 2: Sugar?

Hunter 1: Yeah! You know, like sugar cured ham!

Narrator: And so our brave hunters took a bag of sugar and forced it down the loon's throat. Ahh ... Watch now as the Medicrin spots our loon.

(The Medicrin sees the loon and DIVES for it, at which point, the hunters capture the Medicrin.)

Narrator: Out brave hunters have finally succeeded in capturing the Medicrin. Which, just proves that ... A loonful of sugar helps the Medicrin go down!

Name The Lost Lollipop
Action CAST: Small boy, 2 Strangers. PROPS: none SETUP: Small boy is sitting, crying. Stranger 1 enters.

Stranger 1: What's wrong little boy, why are you crying?

Boy: (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop

Stranger 1: Have you looked for it?

Boy: (Continues to sob) Oh, yes, I've looked under my bed, in my sock drawer, and even in Charlie's pocket.

Stranger 1: I've heard that chanting often works. You think very hard about the lollipop until you can see it in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over again.

Boy: (Closing eyes tightly) Lollipop, lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop...

[Stranger 1 nods approval and strolls out. Boy continues chanting for a while, then starts crying again. Stranger 2 enters.]

Stranger 2: What's wrong, little boy?

Boy : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop, and I hunted and hunted, then this man told me to chant, and I did, and it didn't work!

Stranger 2: Chanted?

Boy : Yeah, like this (Demonstrates, then starts to cry)

Stranger 2: Don't cry little boy. Maybe we need more help.

Boy : (Turns to audience) You're my only help to get my lollipop back. Everybody, very softly now, chant with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop." (Gets everyone doing it in unison) Great! I think it's working, keep going now.

[Stranger 1 Re-enters]

Stranger 1: Hi little boy. Did it work?

Boy : (Loudly) No, it didn't, but I did find a whole lot of other suckers!

Name The Lost Quarter
Action CAST: 5 or more PROPS: None. SETUP: One person acts as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on the ground. Another, SCOUT 1, is groping around in the pool of light. A third person enters.

Scout 2: "What are you looking for?"

Scout 1: "A quarter that I lost".

[He joins Scout 1, and helps him search. A Scout 3 and Scout 4 enter and repeat the above scene. Finally one of them asks,]

Scout 2: "Where did you loose the quarter?"

Scout 1: (Pointing away) "Over there:.

Scout 2: "Then why are you looking here?"

Scout 1: "Because the light is better over here!"

Name The Magic Bandana:
Action Two guys come out, one is the magician, one his not so smart assistant. The magician introduces his act and sends his assistant to a table behind him. The magician facing the audience tells Herkimer to do exactly as he says. There is a table by Herkimer which has a bandana and a banana. The magician asks Herkimer to pick up the bandana and to perform various actions such as put the bandana in his right hand, fold it in half, fold the four corners together, stuff it in his left fist and upon one, two, three, it will disappear. However, Herkimer, picks up the banana, not the bandana and performs these actions. At the end when Herkimer is supposed to show his fist, for the disappearance of the bandana, he throws the mashed up banana at the magician instead. The magician chases him offstage.
Name The Magic Blanket
Action There is a blanket held up by two guys kneeling behind it. "This is a magic blanket. Anything that goes over it comes back enlarged".

"Oh, really?"

Put over a little bouncy ball, get a beach ball back.

Drop a pebble over, a big rock gets pushed out from underneath it.

Put one drop of water in a glass with an eyedropper, put the glass over, a full glass comes back.

Drink the water, pretty good, toss the rest of the water over your shoulder.

A pail of water is immediately thrown back at you.

Name The Medicrin
Action Submitted by Wayne McCullough

Presentation: The story calls for a narrator, a Hero, a Medicrin, a Loon, and assorted villagers. The narrator should have a loud, clear voice. There should be at least three villagers, but the more, the merrier (up to ten).

The narrator should read the story, and the characters should act out the parts. I personally feel no props should be used, and only the narrator should speak.

The narrator should read the story slowly and dramatically. Purely from the spoken point of view, the only humor in the entire story is the final punch-line. However, minor slapstick should be employed by the actors.

This is amusing mostly because of the punch-line. This story should not be evoked in excess.

The Medicrin

There once was a medieval village named Trinsic. This village was being terrorized by a vile monster, the Medicrin. Each night, the Medicrin would stalk down from the hills, and devour one of the villagers.

The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to pool their money together to hire the great hero Erik. <fanfare>

Erik came and listened to the complaints of the villagers. He consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins love to eat Loons.

So Erik hunted high and low to find a loon. He found one, captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village. He then had the villagers dig a deep pit.

Erik threw the loon into the pit, hoping to capture the Medicrin, and slay it.

That night, the Medicrin came . . .

It smelled the loon . . .

But it also smelled DANGER, and it ran off, devouring one of the villagers on the way out.

After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins also love sugar.

So Erik gathered up all of the sugar in the village, and threw it into the pit. The loon, not having eaten in days, devoured all of the sugar in a single gulp. Erik was struck with panic, and ran to and fro trying to figure out what to do next, but night had fallen, and the Medicrin would be there soon, so Erik crossed his fingers, and hoped for the best.

That night, the Medicrin came . . .

It smelled the loon . . .

It smelled danger . . .

But it also smelled the sugar, and the Medicrin dived into the pit, and devoured the loon. The villagers swarmed over the Medicrin, and slew it.

The moral of the story:

"A loon full of sugar helps the Medicrin go down."

Name THE MONGOOS
Action Props: Box with coiled spring in it and fur tied to end of spring. When box is opened spring will shoot fur out of box.

Setting: 2 Scouts talking about what they caught in the woods.

Object: Get other Scouts to look in box and see the Mongoose.

Cub 1: Did you see what we caught in the woods last weekend?

Cub 2: No! What was it?

Cub 1: It's a Mongoose.

Cub 2: A what?

Cub 1: A Mongoose, they are very quick and hard to catch. Did you know that?

Cub 2: Where is this Mongoose?

Cub 1: Right here in this box.

Cub 2: Can I look?

Cub 1: Sure! But don't scare it. (Peek in box lid carefully.)

Cub 2: Wow did you see how shiny and glassy the eyes looked?

Cub 1: You know they are so fast that they kill snakes by grabbing their head?

Cub 2: Wow that's really neat. (Get someone to look and let the box lid come open quickly, so fur flies.)

Name THE MOTORCYCLE DRIVER
Action CHARACTERS: CUB SCOUT 2 Ambulance Attendants

PROPS: HELMET, MOTORCYCLE (toy, battery operated or peddle), AMBULANCE (made from wagon), STRETCHER.

CUB SCOUT on MOTORCYCLE rides across the stage, as he gets half way he falls over.

AMBULANCE enters with two Cubs as AMBULANCE ATTENDANTS, who run over and pick up the MOTORCYCLE very carefully, put it on the STRETCHER, leaving the CUB SCOUT laying on the stage.

They put the MOTORCYCLE in the ambulance and drive off stage with the CUB SCOUT running after them.

Name The Motorcycle Gang
Action Sometimes the loser loses, no matter what he tries.

A small tent is set up on stage. It should be easy to collapse, and probably should not be your best tent; it gets collapsed by the weight of several Scouts.

Two Scouts walk on stage together. They call each other "Master" and "Slave" as they discuss the trip they are taking. They notice that it is getting dark, and decide to spend the night. The Master announces that he will sleep in the tent. As he climbs into the tent, the Slave starts to come in also. The Master tells him that there is only room for one person, and that the Slave must sleep outside. The Slave protests weakly, looks disgusted, and eventually lies down on the ground. They go to sleep.

A gang of motorcyclists roars onto the far end of the stage, making motorcycle noises and pretending that they are riding. They stop, discover and point at the sleeping Slave, and discuss among themselves, "Let's get him!" They rush across the stage and beat up the Slave, who screams and calls for help. The gang rushes away, "Let's get out of here!"

The Slave rushes to the Master's tent and wakes him. He tells excitedly about the attack, and begs to sleep in the tent. The Master refuses to believe him, accuses him of inventing the story, and sends him back to sleep outside. Again they go to sleep.

The motorcycle gang reappears, and repeats the scene. The Slave is terrorized and insists on sleeping in the tent. He gets down on his knees and pleads. The Master is angry, and calls him a coward. Just to show the Slave that there is nothing to fear, the Master decides that he will stay outside and the Slave will sleep in the tent.

The motorcycle gang appears again, and confers at some length. They decide, "This time, let's get the guy in the tent!" They knock the tent down and fall on the Slave - again.

Name The Motorcycle Shop
Action Equipment: A bucket of water. (Isn't that standard for all scout skits?)
Preparation: none

Action: The motorcycle dealer introduces himself and his shop. He stocks many types of motorcycles, and they are all in excellent condition. In fact, he will demonstrate how good the are by making a sale to the next customer who walks in the door. First, of course, he needs some volunteers from the audience. Three are selected, and each is briefed quickly as he comes to the front. (Choose scapegoats who have similar characteristics to the motorcycle they will represent.) The first is to go slowly when started. The second will go cery fast, almost losing its rider. The third should not go anywhere. The are lined up on their hands and knees facing the audience. Now, says the dealer, you can see what fine motorcycles I have. A Scout walks in and asks if he has any motorcycles for sale. Of course, the dealer is eager to show his stock. This is a Smith (use the person's name.) It's only 200 cc's, but a nive little machine. The dealer makes his sales pitch and invites the buyer to go for a ride. The buyer straddles the Smith, raises himself up and mimics using the kick starte. The buser makes motorcycle noises, not very energetically. He 'rided' (straddles and walks) teh Smith around in a slow circle, returning to the starting point. That's too slow, says the buyer. Do you have something a little more powerful? The next motorcycle is a 1000cc Yablonski. Again the buyer climbs on and operates the kick starter. The Yablonski roars to life and races around in a circle. The buyer can barely hold on. That's way too fast! I could kill myself riding that cycle! The deale says he thinks he has just the right thing, a Jones he recently received on a trade-in. It's in good condition and has about the right power. The buyer climbs on and tries to start it. He makes sputtering noises after each kick, but it won't start. After several tries, he complains that something just isn't right because the Jones won't start. He gets off and stand looking at the motorcycle. The dealer yells angrily to Joe, who is offstage. I thought I told you to put gas in the Jones! Joe replies, Sorry boss! I'll do it right now! Joe runs in before Jones figures out what is going on, and poors a bucket of water or a gas can of water on Jones' rear end.
Name The New Badge
Action Cast: Leader, 3 or 4 Kids

Setting: Meeting Hall

Leader: Boys, they're having a contest to redesign the World Conservation

Badge. So you guys should try to come up with some ideas.

Kids: Sure thing, Akela.

After a pause, #1 comes in.

#1: Here's an idea, Akela.

Leader: Hmm... not bad. But isn't that too dull?

#2: Akela! Look at this!

Leader: Really nice, but the design is too complicated for the badgemakers to put on a badge.

#3: I have a really good one, Akela!

Leader: Very good. But I think it's too big.

#4: This is it Akela! It's sure to be a winner!

Leader: This is perfect! It's bright enough, simple to make, and the right size. Where did you come up with this idea?

#4: It's a copy of the old badge!

Name The New Bike
Action Salesman, Buyer, 4 people to be bicycles, Victim The five "bicycles" are in doggy position.

Salesman: Here, Sir, is our most popular model. It also has an unbelievably low price. Try it.

Buyer: OK -- (tries it) -- no, it's not the right size.

Salesman: Then try this one. It's got 25 gears and goes really fast.

Buyer: No, I don't need that many.

Salesman: All right, try this one.

Buyer: I don't quite like the colour.

Salesman: This one is a great mountain bike; great reports from everyone.

Buyer: Hmmm... OK. Hey! I really like this!

(All of a sudden the mountain bike collapses-falls down.)

Salesman: My, I'm so embarrassed. Are you sure you wouldn't like to purchase one of the other bicycles? They're very good.

Buyer: Not really. I really liked this last one.

Salesman: Hold on, let me get one of my men from the back. (Get your victim.) Do you think you can fix this bike? (Instructs him to lift up the bike and pull this, tighten that.) Now Sir, try it.

Buyer: Hey! This is great! You've just sold this bike! What did your technician do?

Salesman: Well, I guess all that was needed was a nut to hold it up!

Name The New Car
Action Cast: Salesman, Buyer, 5 People to be Tires, Victim

Setting: Car Showroom

4 of the tires are crouched in "tire" formation as on a car. The fifth is the spare tire at the back.

Salesman: Here, Sir, is our latest and best model. It also has an unbelievably low price. Let me show you the quality. (He "kicks" one of the tires -- tire falls flat and makes a hissing sound.) My, I'm so embarrassed. (He "kicks" another tire -- same thing happens. Start hamming it up, interacting more and talking with the buyer, apologizing profusely and being very embarrassed. Salesman successively kicks each tire until all 5 are kicked. Finally,)

Salesman: Hold on, let me get one of my men from the back. (Get your victim) Do you think you can fix these flats? (Instructs him to lift up each tire and so on, and each one rises to original position.) Well, I guess all that was needed was a nut to hold it up!

Name The Nurses
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: pole, clipboard, pencil, broom SETUP: The scene is an emergency room at a hospital.

The admissions person is totally self absorbed, combing hair, looking in mirror, checking nails, etc. A guy runs in, a skier with a pole stuck in his stomach (a branch could be used also for a hiker). He is screaming in agony.

The nurse insists that she must ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient screams that he is losing blood. The nurse continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of house, how he got there etc. A phone rings and the person is invited out to lunch. He runs off leaving the wounded man writhing on the floor.

A janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the pole out. The patient stands up, says thanks and leaves.

Name The Nutty Fisherman
Action CAST: 2 Scouts PROPS: Cooking pot or bucket, fishing pole with line, stool. SETUP: Center stage is a lad fishing from a bucket. He keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on. After a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passerby: "What are you doing there then?"

Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"

Passerby: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."

Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."

Passerby: "Have you caught any?"

Fisher: "Yes you're the third today."

Name The Olde Lighthouse
Action See "The Lighthouse" in this Big Book.

Cast: Storyteller, Person with Flashlight, 4 "Girders" who are collaborators, 4Victims

Person with flashlight is the lighthouse -- he holds it on his head and turns around so the light turns around to act like a lighthouse -- also, he occasionally booms out a foghorn.

Storyteller: There once was this lighthouse that did a very fine job of being a lighthouse. It turned around all the time and gave a nice beam of light. It even had a foghorn in it. (Foghorn....) So it was a very fine lighthouse indeed. But after many years of fine service and many more storms, it began to be a little shaky in the wind. (Lighthouse begins to wobble.) So what the authorities did was to put in four girders to support the lighthouse so that it would give many more years of fine service. (Bring in your girders and place them around the lighthouse, facing outwards and bent over on a 45 degree angle, with arms stretched out. Lighthouse promptly becomes straight again, still continuing to turn.) And it indeed did do that. It stood straight for many long years until again storms caused it to be shaky in the wind. (Wobbles again.) So the port authorities again tried to get the lighthouse to become straight again. They figured boulders around the bottoms of the girders would do a great job, so they placed boulders there. (Place your victims in a crouching position, facing in toward the lighthouse, underneath the outstretched arms of the girders.) And once more, the lighthouse was straight. And it remained so for many, many years. During the first storm the lighthouse had to endure after the boulders were placed, the authorities watched to make sure that the lighthouse survived. They saw the rain coming close; they heard the wind; the water began to rise; and the waves came crashing in on the boulders (Girders start hitting the boulders' behinds or they get the bolders wet as the waves come crashing in on them.)

Name The Operation
Action A shadow show is where you have the bright light behind you and the sheet between you and the audience so that they see the shadows. Your heads can be seen over the top and on the sides, but the action MUST be shadowed on the sheet and be the main attraction. In case you decide not to use the shadow show, no problem. But you need a high table or bench so make it looks "real."

Doctor, Nurse, Patient, bright light, white sheet, frying pan, kitchen knife, large rope and wooden needle, all sorts of toys and other silly things to "take out" of the patient's belly. Setting: Doctor's Office

Patient: (Walking into office.) Doctor! Doctor! I need your help.

Doctor: (Real whacko.) Oh, good, come here and I'll fix you up good. Nurse, anaesthetize the patient!

Patient: But Doctor! (Nurse "hits" him on the head with frypan; he passes out.)

(Time to really ham it up; Doctor is real messy in opening up the patient with knife; he "finds" all sorts of things in the belly, each time explaining that this is a good part of the problem. Every once in a while during the action,)

Patient: (Wakes up.) But Doctor!

Doctor: Nurse! Put him under! (Nurse hits patient with frying pan, restrains, etc.)

Finally, the doctor is finished and sews him up.

Doctor: (Tapping shoulder of the patient, who wakes up.) Do you feel better now?

Patient: But Doctor! I just need to use your phone!!

Name The Outhouse in the Yangtze River
Action

Note: Some may find this offensive (Mainly Chinese people)You can use a scoutmaster and boys and have "Who pushed the latrine into the lake" or something like that.--

You need: A boy to be the Chinese father, and three or four more boys to be his children.

The father starts out alone and calls his children to come to him. He is very angry. They all line up behind him.

Father: "As you know, someone has pushed the outhouse into the river.(To first son) Was it you?"

First Son: "No Father!"

Father: (To second son) "Did you push the outhouse into the river?"

Second son: "No Father!" He asks all of them, and they all say no.

Father: "In America, George Washington chopped down his Father's cherry tree. He told his Father 'I can not tell a lie'. When his Father heard this, he did not punish him, but he honored him for telling the truth." Now can someone tell me who did this?"

Second son: "I cannot tell a lie either Father. It was me!"

Father: "Why you little!" He runs up and starts strangling his son. Other sons try to keep him off.

Second son: Father! Why are you punishing me when I told you the truth? You said George Washington did not get punished!."

Father: "George Washington's Father was not in the tree!!"

All exit

Note: Some may find this offensive (Mainly Chinese people)You can use a scoutmaster and boys and have "Who pushed the latrine into the lake" or something like that.--

Thanks to Chris Whong of Boy Scout Troop 763, Wheaton, MD

Name The Outing
Action Setting: Den Chief is narrator. He is taking the boys on a nature hike. As the narration is read, the boys pantomime (suggested movements below). The Cub Scouts real names may be substituted for those shown below. If desired, scenery may be used, such as trees, shrubs, etc. Curtain opens with boys lined behind Den Chief, ready to take hike.

Den Chief: I'll take you on a nature hike You boys in Gold and Blue You'll know what hiking's all about Before this day's through.

Boys: (Sing Chorus to tune of the Kool Aid Song) Cubbing, Cubbing...It's great We love Cubbing...can't wait.

Den Chief: Whose magnifying glass is this? You should have held it higher! You see, the rays came from the sun And set poor Tom on fire!

(Den Chief holds up an imaginary magnifying glass while Tom grabs the seat of his pants and dances around.)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: But never fear, Salt Creek's nearby First aid is what we're learning Oh boys, you threw the wrong guy in, It's Tommy here who's burning.

(Another boy shakes himself off and frowns)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: Please don't wade out into the green You'll drown and I'll not know, Besides a snapping turtle there Just bit off Bill's big toe.

(Bill hops around holding his foot)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: Please, Steve, don't hang there by your knees You're apt to come to harm, CRASH. What's that you're trying to say You think you've broken your arm?

(Steve holds his arm and pantomimes pain)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: I know you're from the city, Rick And I'm not one who gripes, But black cats from these woods of ours Just don't come with white stripes!

(Rick holds up an imaginary skunk, while other boys hold their noses)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: Your foot's caught in a gopher hole, Is that your trouble, Gary? Well, don't go away. I'll be right back A snake has bitten Larry.

(both boys pantomime their predicaments)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: Alright now, Bill, where's the treats? We all could use a snack. But a hole tore in your paper bag About a half mile back?

(Bill holds up imaginary bag and looks sheepish)

Boys: Chorus

Den Chief: OK boys, hit the trail for home. I hate to be a pill But this ain't a dance I'm doing, I just sat on an ant hill.

(Den Chief squirms and wiggles around scratching himself)

Name The Outlaw
Action I was recently on staff at Camp Birch of the 95' staff, and this was the most popular of them all we did.

This is set in the western era in the 1800's. Characters:

An Out Law, Partner, swinging doors(that squeak when opened), One person playing Wife of the Out Law, the Son of the Out Law, Camera person, Very Outgoing Director with German accent.

ANY MISSPELLINGS ARE INTENTIONAL, THIS IS HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRONOUNCED

Director: Pleses(Places), Pleses, evedybody. Now do we haave thees down?(Be creative)

(Every one nods)

Director: Aaalrright aand aaction.

Out Law: Say there pardner, got a match.

Pardner: Yep.

Out Law: Can I have it.

Pardner: Nope.

Out Law: I think I'm gonna take it, what are YOU gonna do about it.

Pardner: I'ma gonna shootcha. (quickly pulls out gun and fires)

Out Law: (Falls to ground)

Son: Daddy, daddy. (Huddling over Out Law)

Wife: OH! MY POOR HUSBAND!(Huddling over Out Law)

Director: (in a perturbed and angry voice) Cuuuuuuuuuuut! Thaat was terrible, were do we get these aactors. Let's do it again, do eet slowwwwer / faaster / like an opra.(CHANGE WORDING AROUND EACH TIME, it will sound repetitive if you don't)

(look of question in faces)

(repeat slower)

(repeat really fast)

(repeat like opra)

The End

This skit is hilarious, you can have fun doing it and adding your own episodes onto it.

-- Thanks to Bartley Davis

Name The Page (The Skit)
Action Cast: The Scout Master, Assistant Scout Master, The Eagle Scout, The Life Scout, The Tenderfoot, and the Monster.

Setting: A plague has taken over the Camp. A monster is lurking a nearby forest known as "Dark Forest" home of the monster: "Yellow Fingers". The only hope is to obtain a magic potion from the old sorceress.

Scout Master: Eagle Scout, our Camp is in ruins. The plague is killing everything in out camp. The Experts give us no hope. The only way to save our camp is to obtain the magic potion from the old sorceress, who lives in the nearby Dark Forest. However, beware of the monster Yellow Fingers, who if he catches you in the Dark Forest will squeeze you to death.

Eagle Scout: Yes, Sir, I will go, anything to save the camp and for Scouts everywhere.

(The Eagle Scout leaves and you hear a struggle and a deathlike scream)

Scout Master: The Eagle Scout has failed. Life Scout, you must slay Yellow Fingers and save the Camp.

Life Scout: Yes, Sir, I will go and save our Camp, I am prepared.

(The Life Scout leaves and you hear a struggle and a deathlike scream)

Scout Master: Call for my Star Scout, He must save the camp.

Star Scout: (acting afraid) Oh, my Scout Master, I don't think I have the training or skill to go into the Dark Forest, Isn't there anyone else?

(The Star Scout leaves and you hear a struggle and a deathlike scream)

Scout Master: My Eagle Scout, my Life Scout and my Star Scout have all

failed, Now who shall do battle?

The Page: I will. I will do it for my Scout Master and the Camp.

Scout Master: But you are only a page. You have ONLY earned your TENDERFOOT. You cannot believe that you have the skills to travel through the Dark Forest.

The Page: Send me Sir, I shall kill the beast.

(The page leaves and you hear a struggle and the page returns)

The Page: Yellow Fingers is dead. Here is your magic potion to save the camp.

Scout Master: Page, how is it that my Eagle, Life and Star Scouts all failed, but you, a mere tenderfoot has saved the camp?

The Page: Its very simple -- From now on let your pages do the walking through the Yellow Fingers."

Name The Parachute
Action Two scouts "on stage" First Scout showing the other a backpack.

First Scout: This is our top of the line parachute, guaranteed to work.

Second Scout: What is this cord for?

First Scout: That's the rip cord, you pull that and the parachute opens.

Second Scout: What's this other cord for?

First Scout: That's the reserve chute, if the first one fails to open you pull that cord and the reserve chute opens.

Second Scout: What if that one fails to open.

First Scout: Bring it back and we'll give you another one, no charge.

Name The Party Warehouse
Action Cast: Warehouse Person, Store Manager, 5 Customers, Two Victims, Broomstick

Setting: Party Supplies Store

Get two victims to hold, at each end, the broomstick -- this will be your manager's store counter.

Customer #1: Hi! I'd like to buy some balloons for my daughter's birthday party.

Manager: Of course, Sir. Let me check with the back. (Calling to back of warehouse.) Do we have any balloons?

Warehouse: (Calling from back -- an accent works well, or he's hard of hearing.) Let me check. (Pause) No! No balloons!

Manager: Gee, I'm sorry, Sir. Thank you for stopping by!

Continue with each customer trying to get cakes, party favors, "Just the bottom of the line, no frills birthday party supplies," candies, games for the little darlings, hats, and so on. Each time, the Manager calls back, the warehouse person responds that he'll check, says no, and the manager apologizes. Finally,

Last Customer: I've been waiting in line here for a while and I've noticed that you don't have anything that anybody wants. What do you have for parties?

Manager: (Slowly looks at each of the victims, considering each.) Well, I do have two suckers on a stick!

Name The Patrol Leader and the Tenderfoot
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: none SETUP: The patrol leader and 2 tenderfeet are walking through the woods on a nature hike. Tenderfoot 2 is not paying attention.

Patrol Leader: We're going to look for wildlife for your badge requirements. (excited, pointing with hiking staff) Look, look... Did you see it??

Tenderfoot 2: Oh, yes! It was amazing.

Tenderfoot 1: See what??! No, no, where, where??

Patrol Leader: Oh, Tenderfoot, It was a beautiful eagle, 4 foot wing span, beautiful colors.

Tenderfoot 1: No. I didn't see it.

Patrol Leader: You'd better pay closer attention. (They continue walking). Oh, Look, did you see it?

Tenderfoot 2: Yes, I sure did?

Tenderfoot 1: No, what?

Patrol Leader: A spotted Owl. I wish you'd pay closer attention. (and later) Did you see it?? Did you see it?

Tenderfoot 2: Yes, I sure did.

Tenderfoot 1: No, I missed it... what was it?

Patrol Leader: An ooh-aah bird.

Tenderfoot 1: Ooh-aah bird. What's an ooh aah bird??

Patrol Leader: An ooh-aah bird is bird that lays a square egg, like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhh (scrunch up face)- aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh (face lights up). You better not miss any more. (continue walking).

Tenderfoot 1: (Whispers to other tenderfoot) Next time I'll fool him. I'll pretend like I saw it.

Patrol Leader: Tenderfoot, Tenderfoot did you see it! (excited)

Tenderfoot 1: Yes! I saw it, I saw it!

Patrol Leader: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!

Name The Picnic
Action Characters: Mom, Dad, two Uncles and Billy. (Someone should introduce characters.)

Costumes: Everyone is in summer wear and ready for a picnic.

Props: Picnic basket, blanket spread out on ground, plates, cups, etc. and Billy with a ball.

Scene: Mom, Dad and the two Uncles are sitting around the blanket and Billy with a ball.

Billy: Mom, When do we eat?

Mom: As soon as your aunts arrive, Billy.

Dad: This is a great day for a picnic.

1st Uncle: The weatherman said we're going to have sunshine all day and the weatherman is always right! (sound effect of thunder)

2nd Uncle: Almost always right!

Billy: Mom, when are going to eat?

Mom: As soon as your aunts arrive, Billy!

Dad: Anyone here want to go to the Tiger baseball game with me next Saturday?

2nd Uncle: I will, we should have a roaring good time!

1st Uncle: You ain't just ly-in (lion)! That would be a Paw-fect day.

Billy: Mom, when are we going to eat?

Mom: As soon as your aunts arrive, Billy. (Billy leaves with disgust, but comes back quickly with some "ants". A large ant made from cardboard on a string and put it in front of his mothers face. Mom screams.)

Dad: What's the meaning of this, Billy!

Billy: I'm hungry!! Mom said we'll eat as soon as my aunts are here!

Name The Pilfered Warehouse
Action Otherwise known as "The Empty Boxes" in the Leader Magazine. Text from The Best of the Leader Cut Out Pages.

Cast: Manager, Guard, 3 Workmen, large cardboard boxes.

Setting: Factory Gate.

Manager: (To new guard) I'm giving you the very responsible position of gate guard at this factory. Because of the lack of vigilance by your predecessors, the workers have stolen so many finished articles that the firm is heading for bankruptcy. Your duty is to ensure this is brought to an end. Do you understand?

Guard: Yes Sir. I am to stop stealing.

Manager: That's right. You can search people if necessary. Now it's up to you, and let's see some results.

Guard: Very good, Sir. (Manager leaves; guard takes post; first workman enters carrying a cloth draped box.) Just a moment. What have you got in that box?

#1: What do you mean?

Guard: What have you got in that box? It's my duty to see that no one takes stuff out of the factory.

#1: Why didn't you say? There's nothing in the box. Look! (He shows everyone the box is empty.)

Guard: Oh, well, that's all right then.

#1 leaves and #2 enters, box draped as before. Guard and workman go through routine of looking in the box. Repeat with #3. After #3 has left, the manager races in enraged.

Manager: You idiot! I hired you to stop this pilfering. You've only been here half an hour and already we're losing things!

Guard: But the only people who went out were three men with boxes. I stopped them all and they all had nothing in them.

Manager: You fool! We make boxes!

Name The Pirate Family
Action A good joke on Scouting. Of course it can be easily modified, but keep the punch line.

Cast: Pirate Parents, three or four Pirates, one or two Beavers, Cubs or Scouts in full uniform

Mom: You know, we came from a great lineage of pirates. All were really mean and ferocious. For instance, there was Long John Silver.

LJS: (Comes out) Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum! Let's see if I can catch that bum!

Dad: And of course we can't forget Captain Hook.

Hook: (Comes out) Let's get that Peter Pan once and for all!

Mom: Then there was Captain Kidd that nobody was afraid of. But he was still a great pirate.

Kidd: (Comes out, looks funny) I may look funny but I'm great with a sword. (And he proves it.)

Mom Dad: But look at us! All we had were Cubs! (Cubs walk out.)

Name The Poor Excuses
Action VERSION 1

Boy, do skits ever present variations of themselves over time, this one over but a period of a month.

Cast: Army sergeant, 3 privates

Setting: Boot Camp

The three privates are in line, side by side, listening to the sergeant's instructions.

Sergeant: (using one of those yelling voices) OK men! Listen up! We're going to do a long, hard, invigorating, uphill quick march! I don't want any weenies! Left turn! (They all turn; sergeant takes up the front.) Quick forward march!

They all begin doing a quick march (stay in place, of course.) All of a sudden, the private in back sneezes.

Sergeant: Company Halt! OK, who did that? You? (Pointing to the first private.)

Private: N-n-no Sir!

Sergeant: I said no weenies! Integrity is important! All liars die! (Shoots the private.)

Private: Oh! You shot and killed me! (Dies.)

This last scene repeats itself with some variation, but essentially it's the same.

The scene continues to repeat itself until finally,

Sergeant: Who did that? You?

Private: Y-y-yes Sir!

Sergeant: Oh, you poor darling, do you have a cold? Here, have a tissue!

Version 2:

Essentially the same, but each private, having just been asked "Any objections?" giving a leering, threatening look, gives an excuse such as "I have to take care of my aging grandmother," "I left a tap running," and so on. Each one is killed, or dismissed, according to your desires. Finally, after all are dead or dismissed, he exclaims, "Ah, good! I wasn't looking forward to this march anyway. I'll just go lie down."

Name The Radio Skit
Action This is the Radio Skit. It requires 5 people to read the parts and one to tune the radio. Each part should follow right on the heels of the previous part to get the effect of changing stations on the radio.

CUB SCOUT: Good Evening, friends! Tonight, I'm going to tell you about Cub Scouting. Cub Scouting is a home-centered program for boys, their leaders, their families, and ...

POLITICIAN (passionately): ...scoundrels in high places! I say to you, we must send to Congress men and women of integrity who will stand up to temptation and say...

SOAP OPERA (with feeling): ...let me hold you in my arms, darling! Yes my sweet, come close...closer still, let me put my arms around you, and then...

FIGHT (hard staccato): ...a hard looping right to the stomach! Wow! Whatta fight this is, folks! Murphy swings a left to the jaw, a right to the head, a left, a right, another right and the Butcher goes down. He drops straight back on his...

COMMERCIAL (loud and brassy): ...large, economy size package. Yes, friends, ask your grocer today for this big, family-size box of Chlorophyll's Crummier Corn Flakes - the only corn flakes with the built-in crumb! Once you've tasted Chlorophyll's, you'll say...

POLITICIAN: ...How in the world can they do it? How can these men, these elected servants for the people, put politics before principle in such a brazen and outrageous effort to advance their own selfish cause? There is only one thing I know that will put a stop to their selfishness. I mean none other than...

CUB SCOUT: ...a group of overworked Den Leaders. The answer to this, of course, is to select assistant leaders who can help out where needed. When you ask someone to be a Den Leader, just walk right up and say...

SOAP OPERA: ...Take your hands off me! Don't come near me! I can't stand you - do you hear? I hate you...

CUB SCOUT: ...in this way, of course a person is more likely to say "YES". And then there is only one thing to watch out for...

FIGHT: ...another hard right to the stomach! Now the Butcher is moving in, and Murphy's looking bad - very bad. He has a cut on the forehead and his left eye's swelling fast. In fact, he reminds me of...

COMMERCIAL: ...a soggy bowl of leftover corn flakes. So accept no substitutes! Always choose Chlorophyll's corn flakes for the crumminess you love to crunch. Start your day with a big bowl full of Chlorophyll's, swimming in heavy cream and covered in strawberries, ... and a large heaping of ...

POLITICIAN: ...crooked politicians! Yes, my friends, I repeat to you again and again that dishonesty in government, whether local, state or national, is a shame and a disgrace to our fair land. There is only one thing we can do about. Only one thing will save our proud and mighty nation...

CUB SCOUT: ...four full dens in every Pack! More boys in your Pack means more boys to enjoy the fun and benefits of Cub Scouting, as was as more families to share in the leadership. With a full pack, a Cubmaster can look the Den Leaders in the face and say...

SOAP OPERA: ...kiss me you fool! All I ever expected from you was...

FIGHT: ...a hard right to the stomach! And I can see what's coming now...

COMMERCIAL: ...another bowl of soggy, leftover corn flakes. So remember, always use Chlorophyll's...

POLITICIAN: ...because their poison - yes, poison. The best solution to political dishonesty is...

CUB SCOUT: ...more and better Cub Scouting everywhere!

_______________________________

Name THE RAILROAD CROSSING
Action Cast: A conductor who sits on a stool and holds a very thick book; a hillbilly family, including father, mother and several children. All are dressed to fit their roles.

Props: Two ropes laid parallel in front of the acting area to represent a railroad track.

Father: (Addressing the mother) Be there a train from the North today?

Mother: (To first child) Be there a train from the North today?

(Each family member, in turn, passes this same message down the line to the Conductor, who thumbs through his big book.)

Conductor: No. There's no train from the North today. (speaking to last child.)

Last Child: (To the next child in line) No there's no train from the North today.

(This procedure is repeated, with message being passed back up the line until it gets to the Father.)

Father: (Addressing the mother) Be there a train from the South today?

(The same procedure is repeated with the conductor responding negatively. The Father then asked about trains from the East and West, with the message being passed from person to person. When the last message gets back to the Father, he says...)

Father: O.K. It's safe to cross the railroad tracks.

(The family proceeds to walk across the tracks).

Name The Raisin
Action Need: 5 Scouts (1 to be a table).

1st Scout comes out: Gets down on all fours, pretenting to be a table.

2nd Scout comes out, looks at the table and declares;

2nd SCOUT: "Ahh, a fly, I think I'll pull it's wings off" Proceeds to pick it up, pluck the wings, put it back on the table, and walks off.

3nd Scout comes out, looks at the fly on the table and says;

3rd SCOUT: "Oh, a fly with no wings, I think I'll pull it's legs off", With great precision and animation, picks up the fly, removes it's legs, and puts it back and walks off.

4rd Scout comes out, looks at the fly and announces;

4th SCOUT: "Say, a fly with no wings and no legs, I think I'll pull it's head off." Then proceeds as the other Scout before him.

Last Scout comes out looks at the table, then carefully inspects the object with out picking it up and says very quickly

LAST SCOUT: "A raisin !" and quickly picks it up and puts it in his mouth

Name THE RELUCTANT KNIGHT AND THE MAGIC HERB
Action (A Pantomime Skit)

CHARACTERS: KNIGHTS at least two in appropriate costume SIR QUAKE-A-LOT a seedy-looking knight with bent sword MESSENGER pageboy type MAGICIAN Merlin-type with white hair, beard and flowing robe LADY GWENDOLYN long robe, conical headdress with veil

SETTING: Courtyard outside medieval castle. Courtyard is center left of stage, with woods indicated at right front. Road to Black Knight’s castle is right rear.

NARRATOR stands to one side of stage. As he narrates, the characters enter, pantomime and exit.

NARRATOR: In days of yore, so we’ve been told Maids were fair and warriors bold. And when two Knights in battle sent They’d laugh and soon be friends again (Knights on horseback enter from opposite sides; battle, knock each other down, laugh, get up and slap each other on their backs.) But there was one unknightly Knight With rusty sword, who wouldn’t fight He’d shiver and he’d shake a lot; So he was called Sir Quake-a-Lot And though he had no hope to win, He loved the Lady Gwendolyn. (Enter Sir Quake-a-Lot . Others try to battle him. He shakes and tries to protect himself and faints. Gwendolyn enters, walks across and exits. All knights sigh. Quake revives, sighs the most.) One day a Messenger arrived, Who was more dead than was alive. "The Lady Gwendolyn" he gasped, "Has fallen into the Black Knight’s grasp. Which of you knights will be the braver? Who will go and try to save her?" (Messenger staggers on stage. Knights rush to help. He pantomimes message; when he asks who will go, they point to each other. Quake stands and watches.) And then a voice with a slight quaver Said "I will be the one to save her" The other knights sigh in relief – Then stare at Quake with disbelief. "His brain has kinks, methinks" one said. "This lad hath holeth in his head." (Sir Quake-a-Lot flourishes sword; pantomimes saving her. Other knights point at him, laugh, slap their knees in laughter. Quake exits to the woods.) As Quake-a-Lot approached the wood, He passed where a magician stood. He asked the magician to make him brave. The Magician said "‘Tis this herb you crave; Eat once a week forever more Thou wilt be coward nevermore." (Quake gallops to woods, where magician enters. They pantomime and magician points to green bush Quake picks and eats from bush.) As quick, he did partake a lot, A change came over Quake-a-Lot. His biceps swelled, he beat his chest, His crooked sword, he neatly pressed. Into the wood to save his Gwen, And soon was heard a knightly din. (Quake becomes strong man, beats on chest, bends sword straight, rushes off stage where mighty sounds of battle are heard.) Back at Court, the knights mourned Quake When battle sounds the ground did shake. But suddenly to their surprise, Two figures came before their eyes. The lovely Gwen on Quake’s right arm, And Quake, the warrior, safe from harm. (Battle sounds off stage. Knights listen, shake heads sadly, weep and blow noses into lacy handkerchiefs. Enter Gwen and Quake in shiny armor with bright sword.) The Knights ran forth and did proclaim That Quake should have a brand new name. Sir Sag-no-More’s his brand new start; Then Lady Gwen gave him her heart. Then all in merriment did feast and laugh, And all lived happily ever aft. (Knights run to Quake, present him with a sign saying "Sag-no-More." Gwen hands him a paper heart. All sit on floor and pantomime a feast, joined by magician.) If you’d adore to Sag-no-More, We’ll warn you at the finish; Don’t wish for a magician Just always eat your spinach.

Name The Restaurant
Action Cups of water, towel, apron

Plastic cups full of water, an apron and arm towel for the waiter.

Two volunteers are recruited from the audience. They get down on their hands and knees. The announcer welcomes everybody to his restaurant and introduces the volunteers as his tables. Some Scouts enter and sit or kneel around one table(you can also get volunteers to be chairs). They call for the waiter and order glasses of water. They sit and talk while they are waiting. Another group of Scouts also enters and orders water. The waiter serves both groups, placing glasses on the backs of the 'tables.' The groups sit and talk as they sip their drinks, returning them to the table each time. Version 1One or two at a time, the Scouts make their excuses, "This water is terrible!" "Let's go over to Joe's Bar and have another round!" "Sorry guys, I've got to be getting home." Eventually, the tables are left alone, with the glasses of water still full on the tabletops. Version 2 Someone yells fire and everyone yells fire leaving the tables with the glasses still on them.

The Master of Ceremonies moves on to the next event.

Name The Samaritan
Action A scout walks out from backstage, stumbles, and falls on his have. He struggles noisily to get up, but can't seem to get his forehead off the floor. He sometimes succeeds in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the floor, and his bum in the air. He rotates in this position, keepint his forehead in one place. He calls for help, repeating, "My forehead is stuck!" As he struggles, other Scouts walk casually past. They ignore him, or look with curiosity, but no one helps. Finally, a Scout comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet. The victim is extremely grateful, but the rescuer just stares at the victim's forehead while the victim thanks him. Ignroing the victim, the rescuer reaches out, plucks something off the victim's forehead, and pops it into his mouth. "Thanks!" he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere around here."
Name The Samurai Watermelon Cutter
Action You need three people, a bandana, a watermelon, a machete, and lots of room.

One person has the bandana around their forehead like a samurai. He closes his eyes and meditates like a samurai, slowly raising his machete.

The two people toss the watermelon in the air in front of him, then stand back.

"Hai!" The guy cuts the watermelon in half in midair with the machete. (I believe this comes from a Saturday Night Live sketch about a samurai chef who cut all manner of things (tomatoes, etc) this way.)

Repeat until the watermelon chunks are too hard to hit, then carve them up the normal way and everyone can eat.

Name The Scout Uniform
Action This skit needs two Scouts, both dressed in full Scout uniform, complete with shoes, socks, neckerchief, and hat. Only a little rehearsal is needed, and it is best to ad lib as the Scouts go along. Scout #2 should demonstrate Scout#1's requests as quickly as possible, playing for the audience's response. By the end of the skit, the second Scout will be a complete mess.

Scout #1: "Good evening Scouts and parents. Tonight my associate and I will demonstrate the proper way to wear the official Boy Scout uniform for all of our mothers present, and especially for the new Scouts and their mothers."

Scout #1 reads from a list: "First, notice the lovely shade of khaki and red. See how the colors complement each other?"

Scout #2 acts as a model, posing and waving his hand in a smooth motion from hat to trousers.

"Notice the badges identifying the patrol, rank, troop number, office, and council."

Scout #2 points to each patch in succession.

"Now notice the stiff collar, the neatly sewn shirt buttons, and the absence of lint in his trouser pockets."

Scout #2 turns up the collar, pulling his neckerchief askew. He begins to unbutton his shirt, and pulls out his pants pockets, dropping the contents on the floor.

"See the neat pant cuffs, shiny leather shoes, and crumpled shirt tails."

Scout #2 lifts a pant leg (which stays up), takes off and holds up a shoe, and pulls out his shirt tails and waves them at the audience.

"Also check out the regulation hat and belt, clean undershirt, and ears."

Scout #2 takes off his hat to show and puts it back a bit lopsided. He unbuckles his belt and leaves it hanging. Then he finishes unbuttoning his shirt to show off his clean undershirt. He sticks a finger in his ear, turns it, and takes it out and inspects it.

"Finally, notice the stitched shirt cuffs, color coordinated Scout socks, and clean hands."

Scout #2 unbuttons one shirtsleeve cuff and shows it off. He takes off a sock and waves it proudly, holding it up to his shirt for comparison. Then he stuffs the sock partly into a pocket and displays his clean hands.

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your attention. Scouts, I expect you to wear your uniforms as proudly as my helpful assistant wears his."

Name The Short Runway
Action CAST: Pilot, Co-Pilot, announcer; If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions. PROPS: Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if required. A compass. SETUP: Set up cast in 2 rows, as if sitting on an airliner.

Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.

Pilot: Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot?

Co-Pilot: (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look.

Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments.

Co-Pilot: (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to be on course. (Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it.

Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)

Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle!

Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)

Pilot: QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES!

Both: (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it!

Pilot: Boy that was a short runway!

Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too!

Name The Shrimpy Boxer
Action Version 1:

Cast: Announcer, big boxer, 72 pound weakling, fry pan

Announcer: Ladies and Gents! May I bring your attention to the center ring where we will have our main attraction! Little John will be fighting against a new contender, named Shrimpy! 1-2-3 Go!

They box -- Shrimpy gets hit this way, that way, is really losing until at the last moment, he throws one weak punch and Little John falls unconscious.

Announcer: 1! 2! 3! Shrimpy wins! Now let's look at that in slow motion!

Boxers get up, and the scene repeats itself slowly in slow motion, and when Shrimpy is throwing his punch, someone quickly -- and I mean unaffected by slow motion -- runs up and swings the fry pan against Little John's head.

Version 2:

Similar to the above, but it never gets to the fight. The Announcer is explaining the rules and says "We'll have none of this!" (kicks Little John in the groin) "Or this!" (breaks arm over his knee) "Or this!" (kicks in the knees) "And of course this! is prohibited!" (hits over the head with the fry pan) "Understood? Good! Go!" And of course one weak punch from Shrimpy knocks him out.

Name The Siberian Chickenfarmer
Action Farmer: "Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... chick ..."

Two military times come up behind the farmer.

Police: "Comrade! Vat are you Doink!"

Farmer: "I'm feedink my chickens"

Police: "Vat are you Feedink dem, Comrade??"

Farmer: "Corn."

Police: "Fool! There is a shortage of corn!!!"

They beat him up. Oof. Ow.

Police, dragging him away: "Three years in the work camps for you!"

Narrator: Three years later, ...

Farmer: "Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... chick ..."

Two military times come up behind the farmer.

Farmer, standing up some: "Uh oh ..."

Police: "Comrade! Vat are you Doink!"

Farmer: "I'm feedink my chickens"

Police: "Vat are you Feedink dem, Comrade??"

Farmer: "Wheat."

Police: "Fool! There is a shortage of wheat!!!"

They beat him up. Oof. Ow.

Police, dragging him away: "Five years in the work camps for you!"

Narrator: Five years later, ...

Farmer: "Here, chick chick chick ... Here, chick chick ... chick ..."

Two military times come up behind the farmer.

Farmer, standing up some: "Uh oh ..."

Police: "Comrade! Vat are you Doink!"

Farmer: "I'm feedink my chickens"

Police: "Vat are you Feedink them, Comrade??"

Farmer: "Rubles."

Police: "Rubles? But vy are you feedink them rubles, Comrade?"

Farmer: "They can buy their own food!"

Name The Sleep Walker
Action CAST: You will need three scouts or male scout leaders and one girl scout or lady leader. You can do this with adults or youngsters, but do not mix adults and youngsters. PROPS: Tie, scarf, jacket or other items (2). SETUP: The scene is that three boys are chatting in a group when from the side of the stage, a young lady walks on, hands in front of her, sleep walking. She walks up to the first boy, takes off his tie and walks off taking his tie with her.

1st Boy: "Hey, she's pinched my tie!"

2nd Boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry she'll bring it back when she wakes up."

[The girl walks back and takes the second boys jacket, she walks off carrying it with her.]

2nd Boy: "Hey, she's pinched my jacket!"

3rd Boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, don't worry she'll bring it back, when she wakes up."

[The girl walks back still sleep walking, grabs the 3rd boy by the arm and walks off with him.]

3rd Boy: "It's dangerous to wake sleep walkers, but don't worry she'll bring me back when she wakes up."

Name The Smart Scout
Action A young Eagle candidate is brought in for his Eagle Board of Review. He is asked if he has completed all of his required Merit Badges? The scout says, "Well, maybe so and maybe not".

The Scoutmaster asks the Scout if he has lived with scout spirit? The scout replies, "Mmmm ... now then".

Scoutmaster, impatient now, asks if him where he did his Eagle project and the scout replies "here and there". The Scoutmaster dismisses the Scout.

The Scout asks "when will I receive my Eagle award. The Scoutmaster smugly says, "Oh, sooner or later."

Name The Sneeze
Action A line of Scouts comes on stage marching. The scout in the back sneezes. The leader turns to the second in line and asks, "did you sneeze?" The second in line says "no". The leader says, "liar" and hits the second in line. He falls to the side.

The line of Scouts continues marching. The scout in the back sneezes.

The leader turns to the new second in line and asks, "did you sneeze?"

The new second in line says "no". The leader says, "liar" and hits the second in line. He falls to the side.

This continues until there is only the leader and one other Scout. They continue marching. The other Scout sneezes. The leader turns and says, "did you sneeze?" The other Scout says, "ahhhh yea". The leader says, "gazoontight" and pats him on the back.

Name The Sounds of the Wilderness
Action Four or five Scouts enter the stage (more can be accomodated) and stand facing the audience. The announcer explains to the audience, "If you listen quietly you can hear the sounds of the wilderness: the birds" (one Scout whistles a bird song, then stops).

The announcer continues: "... or the deer" (another Scout makes swishing sounds like a deer traveling through the brush, then stops).

The announcer continues: "... or the bear" (another Scout growls).

And so on, for as many Scouts has you have on stage.

Finally, the announcer says, "And if you are very, very quiet, you can hear the sound of the lost Boy Scout..." From offstage, you hear, "HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?"

Name The Sound Sleeper
Action Equipment: Sleeping Bags Drum fork and plate whistle curtian for hiding props (makes it more surprising and humorous) small table cement stage
Preparation: sleeping bags on ground (the Unwakable inside far right one) curtain set up - equipment in easy reach Characters (besides Unwakable) Scouts Patrol Leader

Action: Begining: Scouts asleep; snoring Bell rings, P.L. shouts "wake up or miss breakfast!"
Scouts: Wake up, yawn, get up; hurry off stage excitedly Unwakeable: lies there, snoring
Patrol Leader: Walks onto stage, says "Come on Jeremy, wake up!" in hasty voice
Unwakeable: snores
PT: "Come on, Come on, Come on. Come On! Come on" in a taunting, chanting voice.
U: snores
PT: "Come On!!!!!" in irritated, angry tone.
U: grunts a snore; resumes snoring.
PT: Pulls out whistle, blows into whistle
U: Snores
PT: Storms off stage, frustrated. Returns with drum and drum mallet Begins Druming and chanting "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Since nothing happens, puts drum on ground near head (not too close) and drums a certian rythm
U: snores to this rythm
PT: Goes off stage again, returns with plate and fork. Scapes fork against plate, making a hideous noise.
U: Snores
PT: Grunts and says "I give up! Sleep you slug!!!" Lays plate and fork on table, fork on edge of table so that it is about to fall off.
U: When fork does fall off, snoring becomes very disturbed and the unwakeable suddenly sits up. "Wha, wha, wha, what happened?"
PT: spins around, stares at U unbeleivably, slaps his hand against his forehead, screams ("Agggghrrrr!"), and falls down.
Name The Special Papers
Action "I am King, squire, and I need you to bring me my special papers."

Bringing in some diplomatic looking things "Here are your papers, sire."

"Fool! These are not my special papers. Off with his head! Squire two, bring me my special papers! Do not fail!"

Bringing in a Wall Street Journal "Here are your special papers, sire"

"Fool! These are not my special papers. To the dungeons with him! Squire three, bring me my special papers!"

Bringing him a roll of toilet paper "Here are the special papers, sire"

"And just in time!" The king grabs the toilet paper and runs offstage.

Name The Split Ball
Action Characters: Bud the pitcher, Bill, the reporters, Shorty the catcher, Gentleman from Australia, Other visiting gentlemen, Two flashlight operators.

Scene: Practice field. The front stage is very dimly lit. Across the back is a sheet or lightweight curtain through which a light can shine.

The success of the stunt depends on the ability of the pitcher, catcher, and flashlight operators to coordinate their movements. The pitcher pantomimes a throw. When he says, "There," a flashlight operator turns on his light and makes it shine through the screen. The light moves along the screen to resemble the flight of the ball. The catcher pretends to catch the ball, and the flashlight goes off. The movement may or may not mimic the flight of that kind of ball in a real game.

Bud comes on stage, in front of the curtain. Bill steps up to him, followed by all the visiting Gentlemen.

Bill: Hi, Bud.

Bud: Hi, Bill.

Bill: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Bud, the greatest pitcher in America.

Bud: Oh, come on, Bill!

Bill: It's true. Bud, these gentlemen represent the world wide athletic association. They wanted to see the greatest American pitcher, so I brought them right to you.

Bud: Well, I am flattered.

Bill: This is Mr. Grossman from Australia, Mr. Blackwell from England, etc. (Add as many names and countries as you need. Each shakes hands with Bud and then steps away.)

Grossman: Excuse me, sir. We have heard about the different ways you pitch ball. Would you demonstrate a few balls for us?

Bud: Glad to. Have a seat. (points to a row of seats and they sit.)

Gentlemen: Thank you.

Bud: Shorty?

Shorty: (appearing) Yes, Bud?

Bud: What shall I start with, Bill?

Bill: Start with your fast ball.

Bud: O.K. a fast ball. There! (light darts across screen, quickly. Gentlemen cheer.)

Bill: A slow ball.

Bud: O.K. a slow ball. There! (light moves very slowly across screen. Cheer.)

Bill: A curve ball.

Bud: O.K. a curve ball. There! (light moves in a fancy curve. Cheer)

Bill: A knuckle ball.

Bud: O.K. a knuckle ball. There! (light moves in a zig zag line. Cheer.)

Bill: How about a sinker?

Bud: O.K. here comes a sinker. There! (light glides along waist- high, then drops into mitt. Cheer.)

Grossman: Pardon me sir. I have heard about your split ball. Could you please show us?

Bud: Certainly. A split ball. There! (The two flashlights start together. They seem to separate, one high, one low on the screen. Then just as they near Shorty, they come together.)

Every one cheers, pats Bud on the back as they all exit.

Name The Statue Warehouse
Action A good alternative is to have a Museum of Working History, the last person being a window washer, and uses a pump spray. No mess.

Cast: Tour Guide, Group of Tourists (optional), 1 Victim, Statues, Aquaman Statue with mouthful of water

Setting: Statue Museum (or Warehouse of Old, Unused Statues)

Guide: Welcome to the museum of Superheroes. We have an unique collection of statues in that you can press a button and the statues come alive to imitate their real life counterparts. See here, for instance. This is Superman. Watch as I push the button on his chest.

Superman comes out of stiff standing position and takes a flying position, then resumes a stiff standing position. Guide continues through the tour, occasionally letting someone try the statues of Spiderman, the Flash, Batman, Wonderwoman, each with a different action and way of activating them (pull arm, press nose, and so on.) Finally they get to Aquaman.

Guide: Now this is our last statue; Aquaman is our pride and joy. However, it seems that sometimes it just won't activate. Better let me try first. (Pulls arm. Nothing. "Aquaman," he whispers. He tries the arm again. Nothing.) (To victim) You, Sir? Would you like to try? He's rather finicky. Maybe he'll work if you try.

Victim tries and Aquaman spits out a mouthful of water at him.

Name The Story
Action Long ago, there was a small Indian (Native American) village. In this village lived an Old Chief with his two sons, Running Deer and Falling Rock. This village was situated deep in the Wilderness, next to a Babbling Brook [pause], Above a Waterfall.

The Old Chief, knowing he would not live forever, decided it was time to choose one of his sons to take his place when the time came to pass on. "But, which one?" pondered the Old Chief. And he devised a plan: Running Deer and Falling Rock were sent off into the Wilderness, far from the village-next to the Babbling Brook [pause], Above the Waterfall. The Old Chief had told the lads, "The one of you who is able to live out longest in the Wilderness will take my place as Chief."

Much time passed. The Old Chief feared the worst, and began to worry. "How long will it be before the return of Running Deer and Falling Rock?" thought the Old Chief. Soon after, a member of the tribe announced the approach of the beloved son, Running Deer. The Old Chief was very happy, and threw a grand celebration. For his first son, Running Deer had returned to the village - next to the Babbling Brook [pause], Above the Waterfall. The ordeal was over, and scouts were sent out into the Wilderness to find and return Falling Rock to his village, where he would become Chief someday.

Many moons went by (as happens in Native American stories). The Old Chief, now passed on (sorry), never saw the return of his younger son, Falling Rock. Falling Rock has never returned from the Wilderness to his village-next to the Babbling Brook [pause], Above the Waterfall. His brother, Running Deer, still looks for him.

We know this because, all along the highways and byways of New Hampshire and Vermont, we still see the signs [show sign if you made one]:

WATCH_FOR_FALLING_ROCK

This is how the story ended until, in 1990, a small child sit- ting in the front row at a campfire (just like this one) raised a hand, and with a serious look said in a voice that was loud and clear, "I know where he lives!"

So the narrator of the story asked, "Where?"

The answer came back, "He's in Pennsylvania!"

The child had been touring with family and had seen this sign [show sign if you made one]:

FALLING_ROCK_AHEAD

Name The Story of a Pack -- Like Ours
Action Pack - We're number one (everyone) Parents - I'll help, I'll help Bobcat - Meow, meow Wolf - (your best wolf howl) Bear - Grrrr, grrrrrr! Webelos - To the top!

Once upon a time there was a pretty good PACK who did a lot of things and had a lot of fun. The PACK has a few new BOBCATS who had just joined the PACK. There were also a few WOLF Cub Scouts, who were eight years old. Most of the Cub Scouts in the PACK were BEARS, who were 9 years old and some of these BEARS were almost 10 years old.

After a Cub has been a BOBCAT, WOLF, or BEAR, and has turned 10 years old, he becomes a WEBELOS. WEBELOS means, "We'll be loyal Scouts". The WEBELOS program differs from the BOBCAT, WOLF, and BEAR because WEBELOS prepares the WEBELOS Scout to be a Boy Scout. The WEBELOS uniform is different too.

The WOLF and BEAR Cub Scouts work on achievements and electives for gold and silver arrows with their PARENTS. The WEBELOS work toward activity pins. These awards are presented at the PACK meeting for all the PARENTS to see.

The PACK was going along real well until summer came and a few PARENTS moved. The PACK is now in great need for PARENTS of the BOBCAT, WOLVES, BEARS, and WEBELOS to help the PACK.

The PACK needs the help from the PARENTS so the PACK can grow and continue to provide lots of fun for the BOBCATS, WOLF and BEAR Cub Scouts and the WEBELOS Scouts too! The PACK can't do a good job with only a few PARENTS doing everything, so PARENTS help your BOBCAT, WOLF and BEAR Cub Scouts and your WEBELOS Scouts get a better program of fun and adventure in our PACK. PARENTS help us now. What do you say PARENTS?

Name The Story of Running Deer
Action As adapted by Jeff Brown, Kensington, NH (from a joke his den leader told him in 1978)

The Cast (respond when these words from the story are said aloud):

Old Chief: Stand, raise right hand and give a hearty "HOW!" in a low, loud voice.

Running Deer: Place open hands on side of head to make deer antlers, and stomp feet as if running.

Falling Rock: Stand, make a short whistling sound, then sit down abruptly with a loud "BOOM!"

Wilderness: One group howls like wolves; another raises sway- ing hands above head and make sound of wind blowing through the trees.

Babbling Brook: (Standing in front of audience for the entire storytelling) Gargles water with head back . . . until the story narrator says . . .

Name The Strange Trees
Action A cute play on French accents associated puns -- a real groaner. Some sort of French accent greatly adds to the credibility of the skit. By the way, what does the C H on the Canadians' shirts mean? Center Hice!

Cast: General Montcalm, Sergeant-Major, Captain, Sergeant, Private

Setting: French base in Quebec City during Montcalm's and Wolfe's historical confrontation

General Montcalm, wanting to know what General Wolfe was up to and what his position was, decided to send out some reconnaissance.

General Montcalm: (To Sergeant-Major) Send out a Scout to see what General Wolfe's troops are p to!

Sergeant Major: (To Private) Find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to!

Private goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life.

Sergeant Major: (To Private) What's wrong? Did you find anything about Wolfe's troops?

Private: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.)

Sergeant Major: Inexperienced fool! (To Sergeant) Find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to!

Captain goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life.

Sergeant Major: (To Sergeant) What's wrong? What's Wolfe's position?

Sergeant: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.)

Sergeant Major: He obviously wasn't inconspicuous enough! (To Captain) Find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to!

Sergeant goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life.

Sergeant Major: (To Captain) What's wrong? What's Wolfe doing?

Captain: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.)

Sergeant Major: What's wrong with you people? I guess I'll have to find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to myself!

Sergeant Major goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life.

General Montcalm: (To Sergeant Major) What's wrong? What are General Wolfe's

troops up to?

Sergeant Major: (In raspy, dying voice) Bacon Tree! (And he dies.)

General Montcalm: What's this Bacon tree? I guess I'll have to find out what General Wolfe's troops are up to myself!

General Montcalm goes off, then a moment later comes limping back, injured, just barely clinging on to his life.

General Montcalm: (In a raspy, dying voice) Those fools! That was no Bacon Tree! That was a Hambush! (And he dies.)

Name The Submarine
Action You have a "captain" and several other "crew members" in a straight single file line. The one in the back says "Captain enemy vessel spotted"; this is repeated by each person in order till the captain is told. Then the captain says "fire a torpedo" this is repeated back to the last guy who says" How you do that?" which is repeated up to the captain who says" press blue button" and that is repeated back and then the last guy acts like he pushes a button and waits a few seconds and says "darn, we missed" which of course is repeated back up to the captain. This pattern is repeated completely about 3 times using different color buttons. The final one goes something like this: "Captain enemy ship heading towards us and we are out of torpedoes" which of course is repeated up to the captain. The captain then says "Commit ritual suicide" and proceeds to stab himself and this saying plus the stabbing goes back down the line till the last guy who says "How you do that? (There are those who would associate this submarine crew with being Japanese, but in these politically correct times we cannot make such assumptions...)
Name The Submarine Captain
Action CAST: 5 - 8 Scouts, as desired. PROPS: fake knife. SETUP: Line of submarine officers on a submarine during W.W.II. Captain sights a ship in the periscope

Captain: 'Tanker bearing 259, Range 1 mile'

[He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told. The torpedo operator just shrugs his shoulders.]

Captain: 'Load main tube # 1 and stand by to fire.'

[He yells this to the first mate, who in turn tells second mate, down the line until finally the torpedo operator is told.]

Torpedo Op: 'I don't know How.'

[Next the captain gives the order to fire down the line, but the TORPEDO OPERATOR says...]

Torpedo Op: "I don't know How."

[This message is returned up the line to the Captain who SCREAMS.]

Captain: "Press the red button."

[When this message finally gets down to the TORPEDO OPERATOR. He follows it, but it took too long so they miss the ship.]

[This may is repeated for about three ships, each time the TORPEDO OPERATOR doesn't remember how to fire. The Captain finally feels disgraced and pulls out a knife and commits Sepuku, or incorrectly, Hari Keri. Each officer in turn picks up the knife and follows the Captains example until at last the knife comes to the Torpedo Officer Who looks at the knife...]

Torpedo Op: 'I don't Know How..."

Name The Successful Fisherman
Action Five or six fishermen sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their lines. One fisherman is catching all the fish: the others have no luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fisherman why he's doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth, and nobody can tell what he is saying. When the last person asks the question, the successful fisherman sighs, spits into his hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm."
Name The Thinker
Action A Scout is sitting in his tent which is a mess, everything scattered around. Several other scouts come over and ask what he is doing. The Scout replies he is thinking. The other Scouts continue asking questions and are finally told, "I am thinking about my invention." The other scouts want to help (begging and hamming it up). Finally the Scout says, "OK, but do you rally want to help?" The other scouts plead and beg. The Scout begins to instruct each Scout to pick up items and place them in the tent somewhere, (continue until everything is picked up, thereby cleaning up the tent.) When the tent is completely picked up, the Scout says: "Well that takes care of it". The other scouts, inquire, "takes care of what?". The Scout replies: "My invention, I just invented a way to get my tent cleaned."
Name The Thirsty Fisherman
Action Cast: 5 fisherman, and props to show a boat, water level (about two feet off floor), and a bench

Setting: Fishing on a lake

#1: I'm thirsty, but the cooler's on the beach. I guess I'll have to go get one there.

(He seems to walk on water, by walking on the bench, and comes back. #5 is interested.)

#2: I'm thirsty, but the cooler's on the beach. I guess I'll have to go get one there.

(He seems to walk on water, by walking on the bench, and comes back. #5 is confused.)

#3: I'm thirsty, but the cooler's on the beach. I guess I'll have to go get one there.

(He seems to walk on water, by walking on the bench, and comes back.)

#5: How do you do that? (Doesn't get an answer.)

#4: I'm thirsty, but the cooler's on the beach. I guess I'll have to go get one there.

(He seems to walk on water, by walking on the bench, and comes back. #5 is perplexed.)

#5: Okay. Let me try this.

(He tries to walk on water, but begins to sink into the water.)

#3: Should we have told him where the rocks are?

Name The Three Scouts
Action Three scouts: and Eagle, a First Class, and a Tenderfoot. They're running from the dogs. They're exhausted. They're about to get caught, so they climb some trees. (Three other people are the trees.)

The dogs go to the first tree, with the authorities behind them. The Eagle Scout does bird imitations. "Dumb dogs, there's nothing but birds up that tree!"

They go to the next tree, where the First Class Scout does a cat imitation. "Dumb dogs, that's just a cat!"

They goto the final tree, where the tenderfoot is hiding. "Moooo!"

Name The Tonight Show
Action Characters: Cub Scout Interviewer (sitting in for Jay Leno), Mickey Mouse, and Garfield.

NOTE: The Cub Scout Interviewer can have a script to read his part on his desk -- as if referring to notes on his guests. Famous cartoon characters can be created by masks or costumes.

Setting: Desk and chair for host, chairs for guests, sign stating "The Tonight Show".

Interviewer: Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to the Tonight Show! Jay Leno is on vacation tonight and he asked me to sit in for him. We are really fortunate to have some very special guests tonight. So in honor of Cub Scout Animation month, please welcome... Mickey Mouse! (Applause)

Mickey Mouse: Hi ya folks! (high squeaky voice)

Interviewer: Mickey, there is so much your fans are dying to know about you. Could you tell us (pause) what is your favorite breakfast cereal?

Mickey Mouse: Easy. Mouse Krispies!

Interviewer: That figures. Tell me Mickey, do you think you'll ever be #1 in Hollywood?

Mickey Mouse: I doubt it. You know, Mice Guys Finish Last!

Interviewer: Any special words for your fans?

Mickey Mouse: Sure! Have a mice day!

Interviewer: Thanks for coming Mickey. My next guest has been a star of cartoons, books and comic strips for years. A big hand for Garfield! (Applause)

Garfield: OK, ok! Don't overdo it!

Interviewer: Garfield, we know you're a superstar after all these years. Can you tell us what kind of car you prefer to be ride in around town?

Garfield: I won't ride in anything but a Catillac!

Interviewer: Can you tell us what sort of stage make-up you use when you are making movies?

Garfield: Kitty Glitter.

Interviewer: I hear you're planning to take some time off from your career for a sailing trip to Hawaii on your yacht. What kind of boat is it?

Garfield: A catamaran of course.

Interviewer: Thanks so much Garfield. Ladies and gentlemen, our last guest is very special. He has rarely spoken over the many years that he has been part of a famous comic strip. But tonight... Snoopy SPEAKS! Please welcome... Snoopy! (applause)

Interviewer: Snoopy, we're all dying to know what did Charlie Brown say when heard you were leaving home to be on the Tonight Show?

Snoopy: Dog-gone!

Interviewer: We'd like to know more about you... what is your favorite soda?

Snoopy: Pup-sicola!

Interviewer: We understand that now you've decided to speak, you are planning your own radio talk show. Can you tell us what station your program will be on?

Snoopy: National Pup-lic Radio!

Interviewer: Thanks Snoopy, Garfield, Mickey. You've been great! Goodnight from the Tonight Show

Name The Trained Caterpillar
Action Version 1: "This is Eddy, the amazing trained caterpillar." (Three or four guys with a sheet over them, sort of like a Chinese New Year Dragon.) "Eddy, left!" (Everyone shambles left) "Eddy, right!" (Everyone shambles right.) "Eddy, sit!" (The caterpillar sits.) "Eddy, fetch!" (Throw something that can be picked up with the feet, the first guy gets it with his foot and the others stabilize him, return it.)

"OK, now for Eddy's best trick. We've been practicing this all week. We need a volunteer from the audience. Lie down, and Eddy will walk over you without harming you!" (Eddy does it, but the last guy dumps a glass of water on the volunteer.) "Oh! Sorry! Eddy's not potty-trained yet."

Version 2: CAST: 4 or 5 scouts, leader PROPS: blanket SETUP: 4 or 5 scouts bend over at the waist and hold on to the one in front. All are covered with a green blanket.

Leader: "Hey everyone, this is my trained caterpillar, Hermy. Hermy can do tricks. Want to see some?"... "Hermy raise your right legs."

[Hermy does and all clap. Next raise left leg up, then hop, etc.]

Leader: "For Hermy's best trick we need a volunteer." [Select a volunteer. 'Volunteer' is told to lay down and Hermy, with all of his legs will step over her and never, never step on her even once. So volunteer lays down and the caterpillar steps over him very carefully, but the last person dumps a bucket of water on the volunteer]

Leader: " I'm so sorry, but Hermy isn't potty trained."

Name The Trained Elephant
Action A variation on this is the trained elephant:

The elephant trainer goes through a similar routine with an elephant named "Nuts" (2 people under a gray blanket) but the animal's name is part of the command, as in "Sit, Nuts", "Stand, Nuts", etc.

After the elephant has obeyed 3 or 4 commands, the trainer declares that his elephant can walk over people without hurting them. He then gets one volunteer to lay in the path of the elephant and he says, "Walk, Nuts." Since the volunteer is undamaged, the trainer gets another and has them lay side-by-side so the elephant can walk over both of them. Increase the number of people as often as you like. Eventually, the (pre-chosen) victim is in the line of people on the floor. Then another actor wanders through the audience with a tray of small, brown paper bags and (loudly) calls "PEA...NUTS", whereupon the back end of the elephant lifts one leg and dumps enough water to be obvious onto the victim.

Remember: NUTS, the name of the elephant, MUST be included as the last part of each command.

Name The Train Skit
Action Two boys are standing on a track arguing over what the animal that has been run over on the track is....

#1: It's a deer

#2: Nope, it's bear

#1: I'm sure it's a deer

#2: Uh-uh... look there. It's a bear...

As this goes on continuously, a group of scouts form a line, all holding on to each other's hips and form a train. They then come chugging along the track towards the guys arguing about the animal (lots of chug-chug noises here).

When they get to the two guys arguing they run them over and then, from the first two guys in the train line you hear....

Train #1: What'd ya think we hit?

Train #2: It was a deer

Train #1: But it looked like a bear...

off the stage....

-- Thanks to Dave Loseke, Cubmaster Pack 383, Beaverton, OR

Name The Trees
Action CAST: 1 Narrator, 5 or more trees, 1 volunteer PROPS: none SETUP: All the boys except one lined up facing the audience, spaced at least three feet apart. The remaining boy is the narrator. An adult "volunteer" is selected. He is instructed to stand off to the side until he hears the word 'spring'. That is his que to start running between the trees for a few minutes.

Narrator: The scouts here are trees during the summer. Their branches are strong and sturdy, and they are full of leaves providing shade to the forest animals.

[While the narrator is talking, the "trees" raise their arms and mime what the narrator is saying.]

Narrator: A tree in the fall prepares for the coming winter, and begins to lose its leaves. It provides food for the forest creatures for the coming lean winter months.

[The "trees" should begin to sag their branches].

Narrator: A tree in the winter time, with the wind howling through their bare limbs. No sign of life shows in the shaking limbs.

[Someone can supply the sound effects if you desire, and the boys should be moving like their is a large gust of wind pushing them around.]

Narrator: But finally 'spring' arrives, bringing with it the renewal of the forest trees. First new buds appear, and then the fresh, green leaves burst forth, renewing the promise of life in the forest...

[As you say the word spring, the volunteer moves quickly between the trees several times. You will finish the skit by saying...]

Narrator: "... and notice how quickly the SAP runs through the trees."

This skit can be as long or as short as you want to make it. As each season is discussed in as great as detail as you want. The trees should be mimicking what the narrator is saying. Make sure the narrator places emphasis on the word sap, so the audience reacts quickly to the gag.

Name The Twelve Days of Christmas
Action Characters: Bob, 12 Cub Scout friends (if den has less than 12 boys, have them repeat their entrance on stage)

Props: Items called for in skit on a table (use your imagination to create wilder items)

Setting: Bob is standing by table with props. As each boy enters, he hands him the appropriate item.

Cub #1: On the first day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- a knob to adjust my TV. Thanks Bob.

Bob: You're welcome!

(Each cub takes items and exits. Then next cub enters from opposite side of stage)

Cub #2: On the second day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- two napkins. Thanks Bob.

Bob: You bet!

Cub #3: On the third day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- three french fries. Thanks Bob!

Bob: No problem!

Cub #4: On the fourth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- four comic books. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Glad to do it!

Cub #5: On the fifth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- five rusty nails. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Don't mention it!

Cub #6: On the sixth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- six greasy rags. Thanks Bob!

Bob: OK!

Cub #7: On the seventh day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- seven soggy sweatshirts. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Yeah, you're right!

Cub #8: On the eighth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- eight mugs for milk shakes. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Give me five! (does high five with Cub #8)

Cub #9: On the ninth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- nine dirty dustpans. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Cool dude!

Cub #10: On the tenth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- ten leaping lizards. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Check you later!

Cub #11: On the eleventh day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- eleven pies for pitching. Thanks Bob! ( A pie plate full of whipped cream can actually be thrown at Bob here - if you like!)

Bob: (wiping off cream) That's what friends are for!

Cub #12: On the twelfth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me -- twelve dump trucks dumping. Thanks Bob!

Bob: Bye, pal! (last cub exits, table is cleared of all props) Now, let's see. That was (singing) twelve dump trucks dumping, eleven pies for pitching, ten leaping lizards, nine dirty dustpans, eight mugs for milk shakes, seven soggy sweatshirts, six greasy rags, FIVE RUSTY NAILS, four comic books, three french fries, two napkins and a knob to adjust my TV. (looks at audience and wipes brow) Whew! I finally did it. I finally got my closet cleaned out!

Name The Ugliest Man in the World
Action The skit is like a circus side-show. Come one, come all, see the World's Ugliest Man. The ugly man has a towel over his head or something so nobody can see him. Any volunteers to see the world's ugliest man?

First volunteer. Pulls up the towel (so nobody else can see the ugliest man), screams in panic and runs offstage.

Second volunteer. Sure, he can't be that ugly. Pull up the towel (so nobody else can see him), be overwhelmed by the ugliness, feel ill and run offstage.

For the third volunteer, choose the scoutmaster, campmaster, or someone tough or in authority. They go in, pull up the towel like the other two have done, then the ugliest man in the world screams and runs offstage.

Name The Vending Machine
Action "I'm dying of thirst! Water! Water! What's this? A vending machine?"

"DEPOSIT TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PLEASE" It's a guy holding a pitcher of water and a cup.

"Twenty five cents? Oh. Hm." He takes a quarter out and puts it in the guy's shirt-pocket.

The machine holds out the glass, holds out the pitcher, and mechanically pours the water into the space right next to the glass, missing the glass and pouring on the ground. The thirsty man desparately tries to grab the water being poured on the ground.

"Water! Water!"

"DEPOSIT TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PLEASE"

The thirsty man digs in his pockets, finds another quarter. He puts it in the machine's shirt pocket. The machine holds out the glass, holds out the pitcher, and mechanically pours the water into glass. "Water!" The thirsty man starts to take it, but before he does the machine turns the glass upside down, dumping the water on the ground. The thirsty man scrambles for the water on the ground, but doesn't get any.

"Water! How do I get water out of this stupid machine?"

"DEPOSIT TWENTY-FIVE CENTS PLEASE"

The thirsty man digs in his pockets, finds another quarter. He puts it in the machine's shirt pocket. The machine holds out the glass, holds out the pitcher, and mechanically pours the water into glass. Then the machine drinks it itself.

After digging in both pockets "I've only got one quarter left. I better get some water this time!"

The thirsty man places his last quarter in the machine's pocket, and the machine spits water in his face (the machine stored it in its cheeks when it drank the previous glass).

Name The Viper is Coming
Action Version 1:

An office setting with a boss and an assistant who runs in and tells the boss that his just received a message that the Viper is coming. The boss gets very agitated and upset repeating the assistant's message. Several others come in repeating the same message. They are all in a state of panic when the last person comes on stage with a squeegee and a sponge announcing, "I'm the vindow viper. I've come to vipe your vindows. Vhere do I start."

Version 2:

Cast: 4 Kids, The Viper, rags, pump spray

#1: (Comes running in) The viper is coming in an hour! Hide! (Runs out)

#2: (A moment later; runs in) The viper is coming in half an hour! Run! (Runs out)

#3: (A moment later; runs in) The viper is coming in 15 minutes! Call for help! (Runs out)

#4: (A moment later; runs in) The viper is coming in 5 minutes! Save yourselves! (Runs out)

Viper: (A moment later, with props) Hallo! I'm de Viper! Vere's de Vindows?

Name The Waiter
Action Three Scouts are seated in a restaurant. A waiter approaches them.

Waiter : What'll you have?

Scout 1: I'll have a tuna on rye.

Waiter : Why tuna? Salmon's much better. And have it on whole wheat, it's healthier. Scout 1: Okay, okay. Make it salmon on whole wheat.

Waiter : And you?

Scout 2: I'll have bacon and tomato on toast. And coffee.

Waiter : Bacon's not good for you. And coffee strains your heart. Have a nice roast beef sandwich and a cup of tea.

Scout 2: Okay, make it a roast beef sandwich and tea.

Waiter : How about you?

Scout 3: What do you suggest?

Waiter : Who has time to make suggestions? -Thanks to Colin Wallace, ARC (Training), Greater Toronto Region, Ont.

Name The Waiting Room
Action Seen at a Vacation Bible School Summer Camp. You need six chairs together, and one for the secretary. The scene is a doctor's office.

The first person comes in. His shoulder twitches once every 3 seconds. Secretary: "Please take a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly."

The second guy comes in. One eye twitches once a second. Secretary: "Please take a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly." He takes a seat, and after about 5 seconds, his shoulder starts twitching too, and the first guy's eye starts twitching. The secretary doesn't get any symptoms.

The third guy has the hiccups. Now everyone catches the hiccups, and the third guy gets the two twitches.

The fourth guy sneezes. The fifth guy's legs wobble. The sixth guy occasionally shakes all over.

Wait a bit, with all the patients doing all the symptoms.

A scout comes in with a beach ball under his shirt, like he's pregnant, and all the patients run out screaming. The pregnant scout and secretary watch, wondering what's wrong with them.

"Where's the maternity ward?" Secretary: "Oh, you're in the wrong office, that's two floors up."

Name The Wall
Action Ideal for a six or patrol, this skit calls for three or four members standing close together, backs to audience, as the wail; one to play an employee leaning against the wall; and one to play the boss. The scene opens with the employee leaning against the wall. The boss walks in, looking at some papers, sees the idle employee, stops.

Boss: You there! What's your name?

Employee: Billy Bob, sir.

Boss: Well, what do you think you're doing, leaning against that wall like you're holding it up.

Employee: But, I am holding it up, sir. (Boss splutters angrily, tells the employee what a useless, good-for-nothing he is. Employee protests, but in vain.)

Boss: You're fired! Get out! (The employee edges out along the wall, still trying to protest. The boss turns to audience: the wall creaks.)

Boss: Imagine! That lazy son-of-a-gun trying to tell me he was holding up.... (The wall noisily falls on the boss, who collapses under it with a scream.)

- Thanks to Akela Michael Nellis, General Wolfe Cubs, Sillery, Que.

Name The Water Table
Action Another volunteer gets to be a table. Three or four skit people get a real water pitcher and glasses, real chairs, pull up chairs around the volunteer table, pour themselves full glasses of water which they place on the volunteer, along with the pitcher, have a conversation, then pick up their chairs and leave. Be careful not to get the volunteer wet in the process.

The water table is left with the glasses and pitcher on his back, and he is up to his own devices to get them off without getting wet.

Name The Weather Man
Action This is performed on a stage. Hang a large map, or a sheet with some outlines drawn on it, across the back of the stage. Since the skit involves water, it is a good idea to use a waterproof ground cloth to protect the stage.

Plan the skit, assemble the materials, and assign responsibilities ahead of time. Everybody except the Scapegoat knows what will happen. Let the Scouts decide what kind of weather to use, and what props are needed to represent it.

The Skit

The Weather Man stands in front of the map, and presents a parody of the television evening news report. He reads from a script in his hand. As he announces each kind of weather, it appears, aimed straight at him from off-stage.

He announces that the South will have wind. The backdrop shakes and a large fan blows the papers in his hand.

The Weather Man reports that there will be snow in the North. White confetti drops from the sky, or over the map. He reports hail in the Midwest, and small white objects pelt him. (Plastic packing makes good hail.)

Each time the weather reacts to his report, the Weather Man acts more scared. Finally, he turns the page, stops, and protests that he can't do this any more. He needs a brave person to read the last forecast for him, and asks for a volunteer from the audience. With the help of the audience, the 'volunteer' is selected and pushed forward.

The Scapegoat is handed the script, and reads, "And tomorrow this area will have heavy rains." Instantly, he is hit by a bucket of water from offstage.

Variation

The Weather Man and the Scapegoat will clearly expect something. In fact, the Weather Man will usually have a hard time hiding his anticipation. Without warning him about the actual outcome, get him wet instead of the Scapegoat.

Another Variation:

Hang or hold up a large map, or a sheet with some outlines of states on it. The scouts should decided on the weather and the props in advance. The Weatherman stands in from of the map and presents a weather report, (like on TV) He reads from a script in his hand. As he announces each kind of weather, it appears, aimed straight at him from off stage. He announces that the South will have wind. The backdrop shakes and a large wind blows (be creative). The Weather man reports there will be snow in the North. White confetti falls from the sky over the weatherman. He reports hail in the midwest and white objects pelt him. The weatherman acts more and more scared. Finally he turns the page and stops and quits. He asks for a volunteer to take over. A volunteer is force to continue. He is handed the script which reads: TOMORROW THIS AREA WILL HAVE HEAVY RAINS, the reader is immediately drenched with buckets of water. (Variation, go ahead and drench the weatherman, especially funny if you have the scoutmaster be the weatherman and he does not know skit.)

Name The Well Trained Elephant
Action Cast: Trainer, Two People to be the Elephant, blanket to cover, 4 Victims (or 3 Volunteers and one Victim; make sure elephant knows who the Victim is), cup of water

Setting: Circus

Trainer: Ladies and gentlemen! I would like to show you the great tricks that my trained elephant can do. For instance, he can count! Spot! Count to 5! (Spot thumps 5 times on the ground.) Now I need some volunteers to help show just how very well trained my elephant is! Please, lie down on the ground with some space between you, and the elephant will do some amazing tricks! (Leads the elephant over the people and it does very well, does not walk on them at all, goes back and forth over them.) You see, it's a very well trained elephant; it won't walk on you. (Ham it up and perhaps do a trick or two. Finally, the elephant spills the water over the victims on a certain cue.) Oh, my, I guess I forgot to toilet train it!

Name The Wide-Mouthed Frog
Action Version 1:

Equipment Wide-Mouth Frog, a Giant Bullfrog, wasp, and other creatures.

Preparation

Action The Wide-Mouthed Frog hops on stage grinning broadly. The frog must keep its mouth in this wide grin until the end of the skit. A wasp encounters the Wide-Mouthed Frog.

The frog says: "Hello, who are you?"

The wasp replies: "I'm a little wasp."

Frog: "Well, I'm a WIDE-MOUTHED FROG! I eat little wasps."

Wasp: "Then good-bye, Wide-Mouthed Frog." The wasp leaves hurriedly.

One by one other creatures come on-stage and carry on the same conversation. You can use dragonflies, grasshoppers, any insect or small creature that is easy to mime. Finally, a giant bullfrog hops intimidatingly on stage.

The Wide-Mouth Frog spies him and says "Hello. Who are you?"

Bullfrog: "I'm the Giant Bullfrog. Who are YOU?"

Frog: "I'm the WIDE-MOUTHED FROG, I . . ."

The bullfrog interrupts. "Wonderful! I EAT wide-mouthed frogs for LUNCH!"

The Wide-Mouthed Frog suddenly purses lips into a very tiny circle and says "Ooo . .!"

He turns and hops off stage muttering to the audience with tiny pursed lips, "He eats wide-mouthed frogs for lunch . . . .Ooo . .!"

Version 2: One morning the wide mouthed frog decided to take a walk to see the world and enhance his education. As he hopped through the meadow by the pond he came upon a cow. He hopped over to the cow and said:

HELLO MRS. COW, I'M THE WIDE MOUTHED FROG, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BAAABIES.

The cow replied: "I feed my babies milk."

Frog: OOOOOHHH

The frog hopped further into the meadow and came upon a bird pecking in the grass. He hopped over to the bird and said:

HELLO MRS. BIRD, I'M THE WIDE MOUTHED FROG, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BAAABIES. The bird replied: "I feed my babies worms."

Frog: OOOOOHHH

The frog hopped further into the meadow and came upon a horse eating grass. He hopped over to the horse and said:

HELLO MRS. HORSE, I'M THE WIDE MOUTHED FROG, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BAAABIES.

The horse replied: "I feed my babies wide mouthed frogs."

Frog: oh

This works best when the person doing the frog part has a large mouth and really hams up the questions and the OOOHHH responses, opening the mouth widely while speaking. The final "oh" is done with the mouth barely open and the voice barely loud enough to be heard by the audience.

I have used this with up to seven people one for the frog and six animals, no narrator, signs around the neck or held by the persons doing the animals. A narrator can be used if you like, but that would require five people, or you could just recycle the first `animal'. Costumes would provide some added effect, or you could just dress the frog in green, and the other animals appropriately. The animals that you use need not be the ones that I used. When I have more people to work with we add more animals. Having the final animal be one that does not normally eat frogs provides more of a surprise for the audience, but in some situations I have used an animal that does eat frogs here, like when I have taught this to a group of fifth graders at a week long ecology camp where their skit is supposed to include things that they have learned during the week.

Name The Wise Indian
Action you need: one narrator, 2 scouts,1 one Indian
One day scouter Allen ( camp chief ) and scouter Bob ( assistant camp director ) decide to get away from it all and move to the Yukon ....as the story goes , they sell everything and pack up for a long trip to the Yukon by canoe finally arriving in a sheltered valley they decide that this is the place for them.
Allen: nice place , lets build a log cabin
Bob : yeah so they build a cabin, after all that work , they have a nice log cabin to survive the harsh weather of the north. Now fall is at the door .....
Allen : nice cabin
Bob : yeah
Allen : winter is coming ,,,, we need to cut firewood
Bob : yeah So they start cutting wood with ax and saw .... they work all day for a week.... hard work ...cut 5 cords , 10 cords , 15 cords ......neatly piled as good scouts know how...
Allen : hey Bob think we have enough ? for the winter...
Bob : yeah , I don`t know
Allen :I heard that there is an old Indian on top the mountain that can tell what winter is like here , lets go and see him ...
Bob : yeah , ok ... So they pack up and start the long trek to the top of the mountain , through the woods , rivers , mud , rain , walk for 2 days , encountering bears , mountain lions , cats , chickens ( wild variety ) and finally arrive at the top of the mountain where they find an old Indian sitting on a rock .
Allen : going up to the Indian ,,,, says oh Great One I was told that you you can tell us how the winter will be .... Please help us ... we are from the south and we had oil .....
Bob : yeah The Indian get up and goes to the edge of the mountain , looks around ,,, putting his hand to his brow looks straight in front of him and says : Indian : cold winter , long winter .....goes back to his rock....
Allen : thank you wise Indian ....
Bob : yeah , thanks .. So they turn back to their cabin , through hills , rivers , lakes , meeting strange animals like horned toads , skunks ... goat and sheeps ... and finally get back to the cabin 3 weeks later ..... dirty and wet ,,, probably took a wrong turn at the moose coming back .....
Allen : I do not think that we have enough wood for the winter... let`s cut more....
Bob : yeah , yeah.... So for the next two weeks , they cut wood .....20 more cords ....now they had 35 cords .....and the snow started falling in the valley .....and it was cold...
Allen : Now we have 35 cords ... this should be good for winter
Bob : yeah
Allen : we should go and see the Indian to ask him how the winter will be ....
Bob : yeah So again the trek up the mountain in the snow , and rain ....after 4 days finally get to the Indian sitting on his rock on the top of the mountain .....
Allen : Oh Great One ... how will the winter be .... The Indian gets up ,, goes to the edge of the mountain ... looks around .... puts both hands to his brow ,,,,,,and says : Cold winter , cold winter ,,,,, long winter ......
Bob : Oh yeah....
Allen : thank you Great One ..... So back to to camp they go , snow is falling more and more ....now it is November .... Again they cut wood , day and night .... now they have cut 25 more cords ... 60 cords in all ...
Allen : I think this should be plenty for the winter ... but we should see the Indian to be safe ...
Bob : yeah .... So again they trek up the mountain for the third time ...scouter Allen and Bob...passing through bushes, horny toad lairs, a sasquatch and two buffalo herds, they went up the mountain. All tired and sore from their encounters, finally ,5 days later , they got to top of the mountain where the old Indian covered with snow sitting on his rock as usual ......
Allen : Oh Great One , tell us one more time ... what will the winter be like........
Bob : yeah ... Again the indian gets up goes to the edge of the mountain and putting his hand to his brow ... says : .... Big winter , very big winter ......
Allen : Oh Great One tell me how you know this ...because of the mountains ,,, the animals ...I want to learn how to read signs of nature ....
Bob ; yeah ....
The Indian turning to Allen and Bob ......says ... Easy, I look down in the valley , and from here , I can see two white men cutting and piling wood like crazy .......
Name The World's Greatest Pitcher
Action You need a screen (white sheet), Flashlight (bright) and a sick (size of a baseball bat). The announcer introduces the worlds greatest pitcher, elaborate on how great he is. No one has hit him in the last 100 games, (at least with a ball) etc. Get volunteers (4). Have pitcher throw his pitches: (For fun give each volunteer a stick and rubber knife and instruct them to make a baseball bat) Announce each pitch in advance and watch pitcher throw, followed by light on the screen as the ball advances toward the batter.

1.Fast Ball - Light goes fast across sheet from the back side) 2.Slider- Light slopes down accross sheet from back side) 3.Curve Ball - light goes crazy

Each volunteer only gets one pitch. Of Course since no ball is actually thrown, and they can't hit the light so they stand there looking foolish. The final pitch, the Greatest Ever Spit Ball. Really ham it up. You announce the World's Greatest Spit Ball. As soon as the Pitcher throws the ball you scream, "Look Out Its Out of Control", followed by a bucket of water being thrown upon someone: Your choice, the announcer, pitcher, or batter! If you are going to get the batter, let the pitcher throw each pitch and announce it as you see it on the screen. The final pitch of course is "Oh no its a spit ball!"

Name The World's Greatest Spitter
Action The world's greatest spitter is bragging and demonstrating on how well he can spit. He has an assistant, who has an empty pail. When the assistant catches the spit, he thwacks the bottom of the pail with his fingers to make it go ping.

First, do the world's highest spit. Spit up.

Next, do the world's fastest spit. Ping the pail at the same time as he spits.

Next, do the world's slowest spit. Spit in slow motion, wait a while, look at your watch, then catch it. Ping.

Catch the world's highest spit. (Someone objects. Explain it traveled further than the slowest spit.)

Next, prepare yourself, do the world's biggest spit. Hock for a while. Do it behind a sheet. Someone objects. The world's greatest spitter grabs the pail (now a different pail, actually, filled with water) and throws the water at him to demonstrate how big the spit was.

Name The World's Ugliest Man
Action A scout gets up and says, "Tonight, Den ___ is going to present to you a rare public showing of The World's Ugliest Man.

"This man is so ugly, that no one can bear to look upon his face without shrieking and fainting dead away. So, in the interests of safety, we've covered him up with a sheet so all of you in the audience won't need to go to the emergency room."

At this point, the rest of the den brings out Ugly (another one of the cubs), draped in a sheet like a ghost.

Ugly stands in front of the pack with his back to it. The MC says, "To demonstrate how ugly this man is, is there a volunteer who dares to try to look upon his face?"

The den members all raise their hands and ask to do it. The MC picks one, who walks in front of Ugly. Another cub raises the sheet--and of course, the victim screams and faints. The louder the scream and the quicker the collapse, the better.

"Is there another volunteer?" the MC asks. And so on, until all the boys in the den have taken their turn screaming and fainting. By this time, there should be a pile of cubs laying on the floor in front of Ugly.

The MC says, "Well, I see that no cub can take it. Is there an adult who would like to volunteer? How about our Cubmaster? Mr. Farnham, are you brave enough?"

Me (or any other adult leader): "No, I don't dare. I've seen what's happened to you all."

After much cajoling, the adult agrees to come up and try. He walks up in front of the world's ugliest man, the sheet is raised, and--

The world's ugliest man screams and faints!

This is a great skit, guaranteed to get a huge laugh. The boys have a blast doing it, and the parents like it too.

-- Thanks to Pete Farnham, Cub Roundtable Staff, GW District, NCAC, Alexandria, VA

Name The Would-be Den Leader
Action My wife and I did this at a Pack meeting. Between things on the agenda I popped up out of my chair, ran up to the front where she was speaking and, acting like a real dweeb, said...

"Ms. Den Leader Coach. Oh, Ms. Den Leader Coach."

"Yes, what do you want?"

"I wanna be a Den Leader, I wanna be a Den Leader. What do I have to do to be a Den Leader?" Ham this up a lot. Be bouncy and enthusiastic.

"Well....OK, so you want to be a Den Leader." Hesitantly.

"Yea, Yea!! I wanna be a Den Leader, I wanna be a Den Leader. What do I have to do to be a Den Leader?" Ham this up. Turn and nod to the audience.

"Well...OK. But you first have to answer three questions in order to be a Den Leader."

"OK, OK. What are the questions? What are the questions?" With great enthusiasm.

"OK, here is the first question. Are you ready?"

"Yea, yea. What is it?"

"Here we go. How many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"

At this point the prospective Den Leader begins to mumble, might say a thing or two to the audience, particularly if there are Scouts in the front row, counts on his fingers, then says... "I have it, I have it!!"

"OK, so how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"

"Well, lets see. There's 'Today' (pausing) and 'Tomorrow'. How's that, huh, huh?"

"Well, thats certainly a different answer but I guess that IS correct."

"What's the next question, whats the next question?"

"OK, here's the next question. How many seconds are there in a year?"

"Oooh, that's a real tough one. Let me think." At this point, the dweeb really ponders this, counts on fingers, mumbles, maybe says something to the audience, and counts on his fingers some more, then says... "I have it, I have it!!"

"OK, so how many seconds are there in a year?"

"Twelve!!!"

"Twelve? How did you arrive at that number?"

"It's easy." Starts counting out on his fingers, "Theres January Second, February Second, March Second. See, twelve!"

"Arrrrgh! Well, once again you have a pretty creative answer and we certainly need creativity in our Den Leaders."

"So whats the third question, whats the third question?" "OK, here it is. How may 'D's are there in the song, 'Rudolf, the Red Nosed Reindeer'?"

"Oooh, that's the toughest one yet. Let me think." At this point, the dweeb really ponders this, counts on fingers, scratches figures in the air, mumbles, maybe says something to the audience, and counts on his fingers some more, then says... "I have it, I have it!!"

"So, how may 'D's are there in the song, 'Rudolf, the Red Nosed Reindeer'?"

"Seven hundred forty-three."

"Seven hundred forty-three. That's incredible. How did you arrive at that figure."

"It's easy... DE-DE DE-DE-DE-DEE-DEEEE DE-DE-DE-DE-DE-DE-DEEEE..." Sing about that much of it, that way, and leave the stage.

-- Thanks to Kyna and Gary Hendra, The MacScouters, skits@macscouter.com.

Name The Wrong Skit
Action For this skit, you need a character from a known skit -- one that was done previous to this one during the campfire, for instance. It doesn't matter who it is or what he's doing, as long as he's immediately recognizable, and of course you use the punch line, "(Looks around; in normal voice,) Oh, sorry! I'm in the wrong skit!"

Cast: Announcer, Peanuts

Setting: Stage

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth! Tonight's show will include ....

Peanuts: (Stumbles in with ripped shirt, backwards pants, beat up, in cuckoo voice.) Judge! I like to smash Peanuts with a hammer ... (Looks around; in normal voice,) Oh, sorry! I'm in the wrong skit!

Name THE YELLOW, CADILLAC
Action CAST: 2 HUNTERS GUIDE

SETTING: The Guide is laying on his side with his ear to the ground. Hunters enter.

1ST HUNTER: What’s with this lazy good for nothing guide? We’re paying him good money to help us hunt and he’s laying down! Where did you get this guy? He’s a complete idiot! He’s laying in the middle of the road!

2ND HUNTER: Relax. One of my buddies said he was really good. He’s probably listening for wild animals.

(Hunters walk over to Guide.)

2ND HUNTER: "Well, what is it?"

GUIDE: (Without moving) Two men in a yellow Cadillac. The grille is missing and it has a broken headlight. The paint is scraped on the right fender. The driver is wearing a green coat and a cowboy hat. The other guy is wearing a brown coat and a stocking cap."

2ND HUNTER: (To 1st Hunter) See … I told you he was good!!!"

1ST HUNTER: Amazing!!! You mean you can tell all that from just listening to the ground?"

GUIDE: "No. It just ran over me."

Name Those Wonderful Machines
Action For the first two skits, decorate cardboard boxes as futuristic machines with lots of dials, cranks, buttons and, if you're really ambitious flashing lights. Include sound effects people, too, to "turn on" the machines on cue.
Name Three Against 1000
Action CAST: 3 PROPS: bandages, dirt blood SETUP: Three guys all bandaged up and smeared with dirt and blood come dragging into the meeting with a story about the fantastic battle that they had just gone through.

1st person: "What a battle, what fantastic odds! We never should have attempted it in the first place! 3 against a 1000, unbelievable!"

2nd person: "It's a miracle that we survived; 3 against 1000, it was truly amazing!"

3rd person: "It's a battle that will go down in history. Blood and guts all over the place!"

[Continue, hamming it up. Finally, one guy says...]

1st person: "Yeah! They were the toughest three guys I've ever seen."

Name THREE RIVERS
Action CAST: CAMP COOK 3 STRANGERS THREE RIVERS, a boy on all fours acting like a dog

PROPS: Big Kettle or Dutch Oven

SETTING: The camp cook is stirring the contents of the big kettle when along comes a stranger.

1ST STRANGER: What’s cooking? Sure does smell good.

COOK: Homemade stew. Want a plate?

1ST STRANGER: Yeah, if it’s not any trouble. Got an extra plate?

COOK: Sure do. Three Rivers just finished cleaning some.

(The 1st Stranger picks up a plate from the pile the cook is pointing to.)

1ST STRANGER: Are you sure these plates are clean?

COOK" Sure are, stranger. Three rivers just cleaned ‘em.

(This is the crux of the skit. Make sure the audience understands that Three Rivers cleaned the plates.)

(Two more strangers come in and get served.)

3RD STRANGER: Cookie, that stew was great! To show my appreciation, I’d like to clean up the dishes.

COOK: Never mind about that. Three Rivers will take care of them. Three Rivers!!! Three Rivers!!! Here boy, come on Three Rivers!!!"

THREE RIVERS: (Enters, barking.)

STRANGERS: (Pretend to get sick.)

Name Three Rivers II
Action Scene: Two prospectors meet. First prospector has camp set up and good cooking. Dog is sitting beside him. (Boy on all fours is dog.) Second prospector comes in pulling mule named Sunshine. (Two boys covered with blanket are mule.)

Props: Pick, pan, No. 10 cans for cooking, two beat-up hats, mask for dog (if desired) and blanket for mule.

Prospector 1: Howdy!

Prospector 2: Howdy!

Prospector 1: Any luck?

Prospector 2: Nope!

Prospector 1: Come fur?

Prospector 2: Quite a job.

Prospector 1: Et lately?

Prospector 2: This mornin.

Prospector 1: Hungry?

Prospector 2: Yep.

Prospector 1: Join me?

Prospector 2: Don't mind iffen I do.

Prospector 1: Have a plate.

Prospector 2: (Holds up plate and looks at it) Don't want to seem to be pickyunish, but ain't this plate a mite dirty here in the corner?

Prospector 1: (Looks scornfully at him) Well now, it all depends on how you look at it. But I'll tell you one thing for sure. It's as clean as Three Rivers can get it.

Prospector 2: (Shakes his head looking at plate) Clean as Three Rivers can get it?

(Mule brays a loud "hee-haw")

Prospector 2: Shut your mouth, Sunshine. You heard what the man said.

(1st prospector dishes out stew and they eat.)

Prospector 2: Mighty good vittles.

Prospector 1: Thanks pardner. Mind handin' me the plates so we kin clean em up?

(2nd prospector hands him the plates)

Prospector 1: (Puts plates on floor and calls loudly over his shoulder)

Here Three Rivers. Here Three Rivers.

(Dog comes up and starts licking plates.)

Name Three Scoops
Action Basically, you get the Den or Patrol together, and they sing,

"We're three scoops of raisins,

three scoops of raisins,

We're three scoops of raisins--

In Kellogg's Raisin Bran!"

At this point, another scout comes runing out with a big wooden spoon, saying, "Yum yum, raisin bran, ohh boy, I love raisin bran," and he grabs one of the raisins and drags him off kicking and screaming. He comes back in a few seconds later, licking his spoon in a satisfied manner.

Now the raisins singe, "We're two scoops or raisins," etc.

Same thing happens again--guys grabs one of the raisins, drags him off, etc.

When you get down to the last guy, he sings, "I'm one sc--sc--oop of r-r-r-raisins," etc., "In K-K-K-ellogg's Raisin B-B-B-ran," looking around in a terrified manner.

Of course, the guy comes charging out, waving his spoon, at which point the raisin exits, singing, "Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener..."

Name Three Scout Leaders
Action CAST: 3 Scouters PROPS: stools, if desired. SETUP: The scene is that three scout leaders are sitting around the campfire swapping yarns, after having had a little too much of the amber nectar to drink.

Note: This skit is adapted from the "We were poor" sketch from "Monty Python live at City Center" -- Danny

1st Leader: These scouts today don't know they're born. I can remember the scout hut that we had. There was a hole in the roof, which let the water in when it were raining.

2nd Leader: A roof with a hole in it, that were luxury. We had an old tarpaulin sheet slung over the rafters. Us older lads had to hang onto it during the meetings, case it blew away in the wind.

3rd Leader: Rafters, now there's a luxury. When I was a scout our hut had no roof at all, and we kept out the rain with some old bits of sack, held up with twigs.

1st Leader: We couldn't get twigs. We had to hold the roof up with our bare hands. Those were the days.

2nd Leader: I remember when us lads used to go to camp. We loaded all our gear onto an old army truck and drove to the campsite singing songs.

3rd Leader: We had no time for singing. We used to pull all our gear along on an old cart with wooden wheels. And the wheels used to get bogged down in the mud.

1st Leader: A cart with wheels, now that's what I call a luxury. We just had an old cardboard box to put all our camping gear in, and when it rained all our gear would get soaking wet, and fall into the mud, but we were happy.

2nd Leader: Yes, those were the days.

3rd Leader: We had some nice tents though, big green six manners.

1st Leader: Six manners, luxury, our tents were so small, you had to sleep sitting up.

2nd Leader: We didn't have any tents at all in my troop. We used to curl up in a hole that we'd dug in the ground, but we were happy.

3rd Leader: We couldn't afford a hole in the ground, we used to sleep in a puddle.

1st Leader: Yes these youngsters today don't know they're born, but if you told them all these things they would never believed you.

Name Ticket Line
Action CAST: 6 - 8 PROPS: none SETUP: Fans are standing in line waiting to buy tickets for the big game, movie, or concert. The ticket window isn't open yet. The fans are talking, saying how much they want to attend the event and wondering when the ticket window is going to open to sell tickets.

[A person walks up to the front of the line. The fans get upset, tell him to not butt in line and to go to the end of the line, and shove him back. The person tries several times to reach the front of the line and then finally gives up.]

Person: (As he is leaving) "I give up, they can get someone else to open this ticket window."

Name Time on the Park Bench
Action A Scout is sitting in a bench in the park reading the newspaper, getting tired he lies down for a nap. A few minutes latter a Scout comes by, wakes him and asks for the time. The Sleeping scouts says its 6:45. The Scout goes back to sleep. Repeat this process three times, with it being thirty minutes latter each time( 7:15, 7:45, 8:15). The Scout then takes out a marker and writes on the paper, "I don't have the Time!", places it ov
Name Timothy Eaton or JC Penny
Action CAST: 4 or more PROPS: Articles of clothing SETUP: Scout 2 enters and passes Scout 1, wearing a hat.

Note: In the USA this would be J.C. Penny or Montgomery Ward or such.

Scout 1: "Where did you get the hat?"

Scout 2: "Timothy Eaton."

[Scout 3 enters and passes Scout 1 carrying a pair of pants.)

Scout 1: "Where did you get the new pants?"

Scout 3: "Timothy Eaton."

[Others enter carrying new articles of clothing and offer similar explanations. Finally # 4 enters wearing just underwear.]

Scout 1: "Who do you think you are dressed like that?"

Scout 4: "I'm Timothy Eaton!"

Name Toothache
Action CAST: 5 PROPS: pliers; apples; string; ax or clippers, etc. SETUP: A boy on-stage is suffering from an acute toothache, holding his cheek and moaning.

A second boy enters, and the toothache complains to him. The other boy says he will help, and pulls out tooth with a pair of pliers. The boy with the toothache says he pulled the wrong tooth.

Another person comes along and gives him some apples, saying that will cure his toothache. Boy eats them all and ends up with a stomachache.

Another person says to tie a string to his tooth, and tie the other end to a door. They set it up with the door swinging towards the toothacher, and the door hits him in the head. He now has a toothache, headache, and a stomachache.

Another person enters with some hedge clippers, an ax or something.

He says, "I hear you have a toothache". The boy with the toothache says, "Not that!" and runs off the stage.

Name Toothpaste Skit
Action CAST: four or more people PROPS: two cups of water SETUP: The people all line up in a row in front of the audience. The first person in line has water in his cup and the last person in line has an empty cup with some water hidden in his mouth.

The skit starts with the narrator explaining this is a demonstration of how a person can brush his teeth when there is a shortage of water.

The first person takes a drink of water from his cup and proceeds to brush his teeth with his finger. After a few seconds he stops and places his head against the ear of the next person in line and that person's cheeks begin to bulge out as the first persons deflate. The second person brushes his teeth with his finger for a few seconds and then puts his mouth against the next person's ear with the same results, and so on down the line until the last person in line in reached.

When this person is finished brushing his teeth, he releases the water he has in his mouth into the cup in his hand.

Name Tracks
Action CAST: 2, 4 or more train members PROPS: Train - Several boys linked together making chuga choo sounds, boy in front has a flashlight. SETUP: Two boys enter as if following a trail. They begin to argue over what kind of tracks they are.

1st Tracker: "I say they are raccoon tracks"

2nd Tracker: "No they're wolf tracks"

1st Tracker: "No they're badger tracks".

2nd Tracker: "No they're skunk tracks..."

[The argument continues until they are suddenly run over by a train.]

Name TRAVEL HORIZONS
Action In this narrated skit, five boys pantomime and carry props representing different kinds of travel. Props may be made from cardboard. As each paragraph is read, the appropriate prop is displayed and moved across stage. At closing, all props are brought back and placed together as final paragraph is read, by all boys together. Costuming would add interest, but is not necessary.

NARRATOR: Here’s a fact that we should all face, A trait of the whole human race, To long to be Free, to travel and see New horizons at each interesting place. When you go on a trip, you’ll need to decide, On which method of travel that you will ride, But one thing we’re sure, that you will endure, And your horizons will grow very wide. A man who was rather a dreamer, Always traveled around on a steamer; When he took a trip, he went only by ship, It suited his courtly demeanor. (Boy enters with cardboard streamer and carries it across stage) For this ride you may have a knack, Which unfortunately, most of us lack, Back and forth you will sway, as you ride on your way, Seated high on an elephant’s back. (Boy enters in elephant costume, or with cardboard elephant and sways across the stage) There once was a man, so we’re told, Who had to pass through snow and cold, When all else did fail, he took a sled with a sail, And his trip was a joy to behold. (Boy enters with sled which has sail on it, and moves it across stage) In blizzards or wintry gales, going this way almost never fails, In sunshine or rain, depend on a train, Chugging merrily over the rails. (Boy enters with cardboard train and chugs a cross stage) Before planes or trips to the moon, Some travelers took a balloon, They all waved good-bye, as they rose in the sky, But they came back that same afternoon. (Boy enters with card board balloon - large and carries it across stage) All: Now folks if we’ve set you on fire, And new horizons are your burning desire, With no more delay, step right up and say, Which vehicle you want to hire.

Name TREASURES BENEATH THE SEA
Action Puppet Skit

SONG: The song is sung to the tune of ‘The Grand Old Duke of York’ in the Cub Scout Song Book.

STAGE: For this puppet skit, use a large box for your stage. Paint the back of the box to look like an underwater scene.

PUPPET CAST: 2 or more OYSTERS CHARLIE TUNA The oysters are paper plates folded in half and then painted or covered with construction paper. Charlie Tuna is a stick puppet.

SONG: (Done by all oysters.) It’s tough to be an oyster that’s why I’m in such a stew. But I’d rather be an oyster than a person like you.

(A cardboard tire comes down and hits one of the oysters in the head)

1ST OYSTER: (Looks up) Hey you people cut that out.

(Down comes a beer can right into his mouth. He looks at audience and shakes it out.)

CHARLIE TUNA: (Moves quickly across the front of the stage.) Hey Star-Kist, wait for me.

OYSTERS REPEAT SONG

(A cardboard boot falls.)

2ND OYSTER: Wow, that really shook up my pearl. I hope his foot freezes.

(More things fall down.)

1ST OYSTER: They say pollution is a people problem, but they should live down here.

CHARLIE TUNA: (Moves quickly across the front of the stage.) Hey Star-Kist, you forgot me.

OYSTERS REPEAT SONG

(As song is sung more litter can fall on the puppets.)

OYSTERS: (Together) Please help us - don’t pollute.

You can use more than 2 oyster puppets if you want. The boy who is dropping the litter should stand behind the stage and lower the litter over the top. Lower pieces of litter on a string slowly to give the effect of moving through the water.

Name Treating the Ache
Action Nurse, patients

A patients are waiting to see the doctor. The First patient is the last to be called in by the nurse. Another patient goes in complaining of a sore toe. Comes back out with toe bandaged. First patient asks, "What happened?" Second patient explains, "My toe ached so the doctor cut it off!" Another patient goes in complaining of a sore finger and comes back out with a bandaged hand. First patient asks, "What happened?" Patient explains, "My finger ached so the doctor cut it off!" Another patient goes in complaining of a earache and comes back out with a bandaged head. First patient asks, "What happened?" Patient explains, "My ear ached so the doctor cut it off!" With each patient, the First patient gets more and more alarmed Continue patients going in complaining of a toothache, foot, hand, etc. and comes back out with a bandaged appendage. When the nurse finally calls the waiting First patient, he jumps up and starts to run out of the waiting room. The nurse calls after him, "Wait . . . what's the matter?" The First patient replies "You don't understand, nurse. I've got a HEADACHE!"

Name tree climber skit
Action log and two scouts and a long peice of rope

tie the log up in a tree with the rope before the campfire

while scoutmaster is talk about something(such as telling the title of another skit) the two scouts interup him and say " we have been in scouts for a long time so we know these skits already and we found a tree that we want to climb." scoutmaster in return gratns the favor and says "i'll keep checking up on you ok." scouts walk off into wood where they tied up the log earlier. scoutmaster goes on with a skit then checks back with the boys and ask how high they where(scouts do not actually climb tree). the scouts say about 50 to 75 feet up. scouthmaster says "ok" and continues on with a skit then checks back with the scouts. the scouts say that they are about 150 to 200 feet up. the scoutmaster then says that he doesn't think there are that high of trees where you are camping. the boys start to yell and then lets the log hit the gound as if it was them.

Name Trick or Treat:
Action A child comes home with a bag full of treats. The parent says that he needs to inspect the candy. Gives excuses for not giving most of it back. After the child leaves, the parent says that he must do what he has to do to protect the child and proceeds to eat some of the candy.
Name Trimming the Christmas Tree
Action Otherwise known as "Trimming the Tree" in the Leader magazine. Text from The Best of the Leader Cut Out Pages.

Cast: Mother, Father, Child, scout staff with sprig of evergreen lashed to the top; materials to make snipping and sawing sounds (you can pre-record these on cassette tape.)

Setting: Kitchen

Mother is on stage, father and child out of sight.

Father tells child to go ask mother how the tree looks.

Child runs onstage and asks.

Mother peers through imaginary kitchen window, hints and says it needs more off this side.

Child runs off stage and repeats her directions. Sounds of sawing, snipping, etc.

Repeat several times, with mother pointing in different directions each time, father perhaps becoming impatient, and child becoming more and more tired. Finally many sounds of sawing and snipping. Father marches on stage with staff, show it to mother and audience.

Father: Now is it right?!?

Name TRIP TO THE MOON
Action CAST: CONTROLMAN 2 SPACEMEN PRESIDENT MAN-IN-THE-MOON 2 SPACE MICE

PROPS: Spaceship Telescope Moon with door big enough for head to stick out Chair

SETTING: (As curtain opens, Controlman is looking at the moon through a telescope, at left. Spaceship stands close by. Man-in-the-Moon Space Mice are hidden behind moon on opposite side of stage. Spacemen enter at left, helmets under left arms and they approach Controlman. 1ST SPACEMAN: Has the President arrived?

CONTROLMAN: Not yet.

2ND SPACEMAN: I hope he won’t be late. We have no time to waste.

CONTROLMAN: (looking through telescope) That’s right. The moon is in good position fro a perfect landing.

(Enter PRESIDENT of U.S. Play a few bars of "Hail to the Chief" as he enters. SPACEMEN CONTROLMAN stand at attention.)

PRESIDENT: This is a great day for our country. I don’t know what we would do without you brave Cub Scouts, who are willing to risk your lives on this dangerous mission to the moon. I can only wish you good luck.

(President goes to a chair to the left to watch take-off.)

CONTROLMAN: Get ready for the countdown. (He sits at control panel.) SPACEMEN, put on your helmets and get behind the space ship.

1ST SPACEMAN: We’re ready.

CONTROLMAN: Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One Blast Off !

(SPACEMEN slowly pick up space ship, turn it to horizontal position and walk very slowly across the stage to the moon.)

2ND SPACEMAN: We’ve been out here in space for a long time now. When do you think we’ll reach the moon?

1ST SPACEMAN: We should be there very soon now. (SPACEMAN arrive at Moon, sticking it with point of Space Ship.)

MAN-IN-THE-MOON: Ouch! What stuck me? (SPACEMEN stand ship on end)

2ND SPACEMAN: Who said that?

1ST SPACEMAN: There must be someone here after all.

MAN-IN-THE-MOON: (Opening- door in the Moon sticking his head out.) Of course there is! Haven’t you ever heard of the Man-in-the-Moon?

2ND SPACEMAN: Yes, but I thought that was a fairy tale!

MAN-IN-THE-MOON: No, indeed! I’ve been here a long time.

1ST SPACEMAN: Can you tell us if we are the first earth people here?

MAN-IN-THE-MOON: Yes, you are the first People. Another ship landed before yours did, though. There were mice in that one.

(SPACE MICE come from behind moon, one on either side.)

1ST MOUSE: Did you call us?

2ND SPACEMAN: What in the universe are you doing here?

2ND MOUSE: The Russians shot us up here!

1ST MOUSE: We were supposed to go back to earth, but we wouldn’t go.

2ND MOUSE. We like it here. We’re going to stay forever!

1ST SPACEMAN: But how can you live here? What can you find to eat?

1ST MOUSE: Find to eat? We never had it so good!

2ND MOUSE: You mean you don’t know. You never heard?

BOTH MICE: The moon is REALLY made of GREEN CHEESE!

(SPACEMEN faint as CURTAIN falls).

Name Two Cannibals
Action I'll bet you can turn this pun into a skit!

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender."

The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"

The reply, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."

"Ah, Ha!" the second cannibal replies, "No wonder--those are fryers!"

Name TWO STORY FIRE
Action Character: 5 firemen, dressed in street wear.

Scene: 3 firemen are seated at table and two are laying on cots. Laying nearby are fireman's hats and raincoats for all. Off stage are blackened corks to be used for soot, and sound effects of telephone ringing and siren.

Fireman 1: (stretching on cot.) I dreamed I ate a five pound marshmallow last night.

Fireman 2: (sleepily) So what? (yawns)

Fireman 1: My pillow is missing!

(Telephone rings. Fireman 3 leaves table and goes off stage to answer it.)

Fireman 3: (running back on stage) Fire! Fire! Fire! A two story fire.

(All firemen quickly don hats and coats)

Fireman 4: Are you (name) ?

Fireman 5: No, why?

Fireman 4: Well, I am, and that's my hat and coat you're putting on.

(Fireman 4 5 quickly trade hats and coats. All firemen rush off stage. Siren is heard.) PAUSE (Firemen return, with soot all over their faces.)

Fireman 2: Boy, I'm sure glad we're back! I forgot to turn off the stove. We could have had a fire right here.

Fireman 5: Ah, don't worry. I forgot to turn off the water in the sink.

Fireman 1: We almost never found that fire. I thought you said it was a two story fire.

Fireman 3: It was. The caller told me two stories. One story was that the fire was on 6th Street. The other story was that the fire was on Maple Street. That's why we almost never found it.

(Others groan, and take their original places at the table or on cots, as curtain closes.)

Name Ugliest Man in the World
Action Version1: Equipment: Blanket to cover "Ugly Man. Preparation: Action: BARKER: Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up and see the ugliest man in the world. He's so ugly we have to keep him covered up. That's right, for one thin dime, one tenth of a dollar you can be frightened out of your wits. Here, you sir. [points to Six member] Step over here and see the Ugliest Man in the World.

KEVIN: [steps up, pays dime]

BARKER: [lifts blanket just for Kevin to see] OK, peek in here.

KEVIN: [peeks, screams, runs off]

BARKER: See what I mean Ladies and Gentlemen. No one has ever seen anyone so ugly. You sir, [selects another Six member] Step right up and pay your dime, then see the Ugliest Man in the World.

GREG: [pays, peeks, screams, faints]

BARKER: My gosh, that man fainted. You sir, come and revive him.

BARRY: [enters, revives Greg, both exit]

BARKER: Who will be my next customer? Why you sir, [indicates Akela] why don't you step up and see the Ugliest Man in the World?

AKELA: [will likely make comments, but keep talking, and get him up]

BARKER: Why, your in the "Scouts", you can look for free. [pulls up the blanket for a peek]

UGLY MAN: [screams, faints] Version2: CAST: 4 PROPS: bag SETUP: Three guys are talking.

Leader: "Look, there is the UGLIEST man in the world. He is so ugly he keeps his face covered."

[All look and point at a boy or man with a bag over his head].

1st Guy: "I don't believe he is the ugliest man in the world."

[The he goes over and looks under the bag and promptly dies, screaming.]

2nd Guy: "I don't believe anyone can be that ugly."

[He also looks and dies or faints.]

Leader: "I didn't think he was ugly enough to kill my friends. I'd better check into this."

[So he looks and the "ugly man" promptly dies screaming.]

Name Ugly Baby
Action A lady is riding on a train with her baby wrapped in a blanket. A stranger comes and sits down next to her. He asked if he can see the baby. Upon opening the blanket the stranger says: "Ma'am, that's the ugliest baby I have ever seen." She yells at him ( you beast, how can you say such a thing, etc.) and hits him with her fist until he leaves. Repeat this three times. While beating the third stranger she yells for the conductor. She complains to the conductor that this is the third man who has "insulted my little darling". The conductor urges the stranger to a new seat. The conductor returns to apologize and tells the lady that he wants his riders to be happy. He tells the lady he will bring a her a drink and he'll stop by the kitchen and get a banana for her monkey.!
Name Upside Down Singers
Action The singers are on stage. An announcer explains that they are going to sing upside down! They duck out of sight behind a curtain (a sheet held by two accomplices will do). Placing their hands in their shoes, they wobble the shoes above the curtain top looking as they are having trouble standing on their heads and are about to topple over while singing. They requires practice and the assistance of someone to direct them. To end the skit let one of the curtain holders become distracted and accidently drop the curtain revealing the "upside down singers" in action."
Name Up Harold
Action Mad Scientist and a monster named Harold. The mad scientist talks about his greatest creation Harold. The scientist asks for a volunteer out of the audience. The mad scientist tells Harold to rise up, walk forward, and then the monster gets near the volunteer to kill him. Harold grabs the volunteer and kills him and returns back behind the scientist. The mad scientist goes on about how great his monster is, repeating his commands for Harold to stand up, move forward and kill. What the mad scientist doesn't realize is that Harold is reacting to his commands. The mad scientist continues to gloat as Harold comes forward and kills him. Harold continues walking toward the audience as the stage blacks out.
Name Vampire Snack
Action Scene: One vampire, standing onstage, takes a can marked "blood", pours tomato juice from it into a glass and drinks it. The second vampire enters.

Vampire #1: Mmm. Delicious. Vould you like some? Vampire #2: no, thanks. I couldn't drink another bite. Vampire #1: So vat's new. Vampire #2: Nothing much. I just saw a poor old bum begging on the street corner. Vampire #1: You did. Vat did he say? Vampire #2 He vanted me to help him. He said he hadn't had a bite in days. Vampire #1: So what did you do? Vampire #2: Vat else? Naturally, I bit him!

Name
Name Waiter!
Action Waiter, Customers Setting: Restaurant

Customer 1: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Shh! Everyone else will want one!

Same line continues on with other customers about a fly being in alphabet soup (He's learning to read!) What's this fly doing in my soup? (The backstroke, Sir!) There's a fly in my soup! (Pass him a life preserver!) I just took a fly out of my soup. What do you think you should do? (Give First Aid!) Finally,

Last Customer: Waiter, did you know that there's a fly in my ice cream, too?

Waiter: No! I didn't know they were into winter sports!

Name Wait! Wait!
Action Shopper: Have you any four-volt two-watt bulbs? Clerk : For what?

Shopper: No, four-volt, two-watt.

Clerk : Two what?

Shopper: yes!

Clerk : No.

Name Wal and Ches -The Nutt Bros.
Action A bathing suit and a flower

ANNO: Welcome to another weekly episode of Wal and Ches, the Nutt brothers. As we join them, we find they are sitting outside the General Store.

WAL: Ches, I thot you was workin' for Mizz Jones, paintin' her porch?

CHES: Was, got fired.

WAL: Mizz Jones fired you when you were paintin' her porch? How could that be?

CHES: She sent me out back with a bucket a' green paint, an' I started paintin' but she was sure mixed up 'cause it wasn't no Porch, it was a Mercedes. Say, Wal, why have you got your bathing suit on?

WAL: Well, I was gonna go and clean up the attic.

CHES: So?

WAL: Ma said there was a creek in the steps, so I didn't want to get my

clothes wet. By the way, I saw you in the General Store here [jerks thumb backwards] this morning runnin' around on top of a big cardboard box. How come?

CHES: Just doin' what I was told. The instructions on the box said "Tear Around Here". Hey, Wal, why didn't the animals on Noah's ark play cards to pass the time?

WAL: I don't know. Why didn't the animals on Noah's ark play cards?

CHES: They couldn't, they were standing on the deck. Say, what are you doin' with that flower on your head, the hippie days are gone?

WAL: Somebody said I was just a bloomin' idiot, so I thought I'd better look the part.

CHES: [disgusted] Goodnight!

WAL: Yep, you're right, it's time to go. Say Good Night Ches.

CHES: Good Night Ches! [both bow and exit]

Name Washington's Farewell
Action CAST: 2 PROPS: none SETUP: It is announced that a member of the troop has memorized Washington's Farewell Address and is about to do a dramatic portrayal of it.

[A boy emerges (dressed as Washington, if desired) and delivers his farewell address.]

Washington: "Bye Mom!"

Name WATCH OUT FOR CRITTERS
Action As the skit opens, an old guide leads two pioneers into the mountains. The three walk in place, pretending to climb uphill and down.

Pioneer 1: Are there wild animals here?

Guide: Yep. Bobcats. They're bad.

Pioneer 2: Is there anything else?

Guide: There's wolves. Mean critters.

Pioneer 1: Is that all?

Guide: You wouldn't ask that question of you had come to rehearsal. There are bears. And they are the worst critters that I know of. (Suddenly, three Cub Scouts appear. Over their heads are brown paper sacks with animal faces drawn on them.)

Cub 1: I'm a Bobcat.

Cub 2: I'm a Wolf.

Cub 3: I'm a Bear. Who are you?

Pioneers: (Together) We're chicken! (and they run away.)

Name Water, Water!
Action Version 1: Over to one side is a glass of water. One by one people approach the glass from the other side, crawling on hands and knees and saying "water....water..." as though they are in a desert. Each gets a little closer to the glass before he collapses dead. When the last person reaches the glass, he pulls a toothbrush out of his pocket, dips it in the glass and begins brushing his teeth.


Version 2: A man, crawling across the stage: "Water, water!!" Someone walks by, and the crawling man tugs on his pantleg. "Water, Water!"

Man walking by: "Sorry." He continues walking.

Another man walks by, the crawling man tugs on his pantleg: "Water, Water!"

Man walking by: "All I've got is this beef jerky, sorry." He keeps walking.

Another man walks by, the crawling man tugs on his pantleg: "Water, Water!"

Man walking by: "No, I don't have any." He keeps walking.

The crawling man sees a cup of water at the other end of the stage. "Water!!" He painfully crawls over there. "Water! Water!"

When he reaches the water, he quickly stands up, dunks his comb in it, and uses it to comb his hair.

Name We Ain't Got the Money for the Mortgage on the Farm
Action One of those repetitive jokes. Difference is, you do the skit to a beat, and everyone bends their knees in sync (or tries to.) Successful or not, the knee bending (and attempts to keep in sync) alone makes it hilarious.

Cast: Ma, Pa, Bro, Sis, Cousin Joe, Auntie Mae, Gramps, Mr. Bankerman

Pa: (Comes out, starts bending knees to a beat, and says to the beat) Hiya, Folks! I'm Pa (people can respond ... repeat if desired.) Well, we ain't got the money for the mortgage on the farm. Boo, Hoo, Boo Hoo Hoo.

Ma: (Comes out, bends knees to Pa's beat.) Hiya, Pa!

Pa: Hiya, Ma!

Ma: Whatsamatter, Pa?

Pa: Well, we ain't got the money for the mortgage on the farm.

Pa Ma: Boo, Hoo, Boo Hoo Hoo!

Continues with Bro coming in, saying Hiya, Ma (who responds, Hiya, Bro) to the beat, then says Hiya Pa, (Hiya, Bro) then Whatsamater Pa? who responds about the mortgage. Continue in like manner through to Gramps, each lining up beside the person before them. Continue to Mr. Bankerman, who does the same thing, but faces the line from the far side. They all go through the scene again, Hiya, Pa! Hiya, Mr. Bankerman! etc. Whatsamater, Pa? Well, we ain't .... Finally,

Mr. Bankerman: Well, Now I got Sis (abducts Sis, who of course resists.) Ha, Ha, Ha Ha Ha!

All of a sudden, everyone shoots at Mr. Bankerman, (Bang! Bang! Bang Bang Bang!) and he falls over dead. They continue their leg bending. Next line is tricky to a beat, but think of rap music. (What the heck is rap? You mean that garbage kids listen to?)

All: Now we don't have to pay the mortgage on the farm! Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha!

Name We Hit!
Action A silly repetition skit that gets the victim wet.

Cast: 4-5 Crew members, Victim, cup of water

Setting: Submarine

Sit in a line just like in Veech Boton. Place your victim anywhere in the line but make sure in advance you know where so that the person before or after has the water.

Captain: (First in line) Fire #1!

(Goes down the line to end; make a sound of it exploding)

Captain: We missed! We have one more try! Fire #2!

(Goes down the line to end; make a sound of it exploding)

Captain: We missed! We'll just have to try to outrun them! (They turn left and right and left in sync, but finally,)

Captain: They hit us! Incoming water! (Throw water on victim.)

Name We're Going On Safari
Action CAST: open PROPS: gorilla, lion, etc. costume. SETUP: This is an action chant, which can be performed by as many scouts as you wish. It can be made into something really good, by dressing up in safari gear and carrying rifles.

1st Scout: We're going on safari.

ALL: We're going on safari.

1st Scout: We're gonna catch a big one.

ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.

1st Scout: Ooh look a snake.

ALL: Ooh look a snake.

1st Scout: Hiss, hiss.

ALL: Hiss, hiss.

2nd Scout: We're going on safari.

ALL: We're going on safari.

2nd Scout: We're gonna catch a big one.

ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.

2nd Scout : Ooh look a crocodile.

ALL: Ooh look a crocodile.

2nd Scout: Snap, snap.

ALL: Snap, snap.

1st Scout: Hiss, hiss.

ALL: Hiss, hiss.

3rd Scout: We're going on safari.

ALL: We're going on safari.

3rd Scout: We're gonna catch a big one.

ALL: We're gonna catch a big one.

3rd Scout: Ooh look a panther.

ALL: Ooh look a panther.

3rd Scout: Poof, poof.

ALL: POOF, POOF.......Why on Earth poof poof?

3rd Scout: Well, he was pink!

2nd Scout: Snap, snap.

ALL: Snap, snap.

1st Scout: Hiss, hiss.

ALL: Hiss, hiss.

And So On.

[To finish you can have someone dressed in a gorilla suit. The last scout starts to sing 'Ooh look a gorilla', then all the others see the gorilla as he comes on stage and chases them all off screaming].

Name What a Day
Action (Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)

Hiker 1: (groans) What a day.

Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.

Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!

Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving!

(First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).

Name WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?
Action CHARACTER: Boy in Cub Scout uniform and a group of boys in street wear.

PROPS: Toy airplane, a ball for the group of boys to bounce, sign on easel saying "small town in 1939."

SCENE: Open with boys bouncing ball to each other when Cub Scout enters. Easel is set up with a sign on far left side of stage.

CUB SCOUT: Hi fellas! (holding airplane)

BOY #1: Hi, you're new here aren't you?

CUB SCOUT: Yes, we just moved here from Ohio. I'm on my way to my first den meeting. Are you guys in Scouts!

BOY #3: What king of airplane have you got there?

CUB SCOUT: We're building rockets in our den and I made this airplane at my last meeting in Ohio. I just thought I'd bring it to show the guys in the den. It will really fly.

BOY #4: You say you're building rockets?

CUB SCOUT: Yes, when they are finished we are going to shoot them off after pack meeting so everyone in the pack can see how they work. I'm glad to get the chance to build one. You know I'm going to fly one someday for real. Maybe I'll even walk on the moon.

BOY #5: Wouldn't that be something! What else do you do in the den meeting?

CUB SCOUT: We do a lot of different things. Of course I'm really interested mostly in aviation. I'm going to have my pilot's license by the time I'm 16.

BOY #6: Sure, sure...do you guys ever camp out?

CUB SCOUT: Sure when you become a Webelos they have great dad and son campouts. You know, I'm going to test new aircraft when I'm grown...maybe even rocket-powered planes. I've got to go now...I don't want to be late. Bye!

BOY #7: Boy those Cub Scouts think they can do anything...He sure has big ideas...What did he say his name was, anyway?

BOY #1: Neil Armstrong! What a dreamer! He really thinks he's going places.

Name What's 2+2?
Action Again, one of those pirate theme skits that can be easily modified (such as it being the boss to employees.)

Cast: Captain, three or four Pirates

Setting: On the Bridge (Or Deck of a Ship)

Captain: First Mate! What's 2+2?

1st Mate: Duh! One, Sir!

Captain: Good! Bosun! What's 2+2?

Bosun: Uhh ... let's see ... (Counts on fingers) Uhh ... Five, Sir!

Captain: No problem! Gunner! What's 2+2?

Gunner: Sheesh, Captain! Why give me all the hard ones?

Captain: Great! Cook! What's 2+2?

Cook: Let's see. Two apples and two potatoes makes ... (Thinks) Two apples and two potatoes, Sir!

Captain: Pleased to hear it! You! Floor Scrubber! What's 2+2?

Scrubber: Four, Sir!

Captain: Off with his head! (Cuts off head with sword.)

Servant: Beggin' the Captain's pardon, Sir! I think everyone else got it wrong, but the floor scrubber got it right. Why did you kill him?

Captain: He's too smart! He might go after my job some day!

Name What's Up?
Action Equipment: Five or Six willing Cub Scouts !
Preparation: Very easy skit for boys to learn quickly.

Action: Boy walks onto stage looking up. Second boy walks on stage, looks at first boy, then faces audience and looks up. Third boy walks on stage, looks at second and first boys, faces audience and looks up. Continues until final boy walks up to the others, looks at each of them, then faces audience and looks up. After a second, he turns to the boy next to him and asks, "What are we looking at?" That boy responds, "I don't know." And turns to the next boy and asks him the same question. This continues down the line until the question is asked of the first boy who walked in. He responds, "I don't know what you're looking at, but I have a stiff neck!"
Name What the Heck Was That?
Action You can also have everyone audition for the same line or have them try out for different parts, and of course ham it up to reflect this.

Cast: Actors, directors, Gus

Scene: Theater

Director: Okay! Who's next for the auditions? You? Okay! Let's hear you!

Actor #1: I'm trying out for the part of the Unknown Soldier. (He lies down, dead.)

Director: Don't call us, we'll call you. Next!

Actor #2: I'm trying out for the President ordering the men into action. Men, we must unite to beat the foe and protect the people!

Director: Very nice. We'll call your agent. Next!

Actor #3: I'm trying out for the part of the dying soldier. (He dies a very painful, emotional death.)

Director: Sorry! Try out for the next movie. OK! Let's wrap it up!

Gus comes running in.

Gus: Oh please, Sir, I really would like a part in your play! I really need a break! Just a small part, Pleeeeeease, Pretty Please, with sugar on top?

Director: Fine. All you have to do is call out "Oh my Gosh, it's a cannon!" when you hear a loud boom. Take a moment to practice while we load it up.

Gus practices the line with several different voices, poses, etc.

Director: OK, let's get a move on! I want to leave!

(Loud boom from backstage.)

Gus: What the heck was that?!?!?!?

Name What Time is it?
Action Three Scouts walk onto the stage, two of them carrying logs. The two carrying logs sit down and begin pounding the stage with them, making an incredible racket. They pause, and the third Scout announces, "How cave men tell time". The first two Scouts begin pounding again.

A voice from off stage yells, "HEY! CUT IT OUT, IT'S TWO A.M."

The cave men pick up their logs and exeunt all.

Name WHAT’S MY HOBBY?
Action SETTING: Scene opens on a bunch of boys talking about their hobbies. Each, in turn, gets the others to guess what his hobby is by using the "ten-dollar word" to describe it.

(Here are some suggested hobbies and what they are:)

Numismatist - coin collector Philatelist - stamp collector Ornithologist - bird watcher Horticulturist - scientific gardener Paleontologist - fossil specialist Fromologist - cheese label collector You add others!

(End with one boy boasting that his dad collects something, but there isn’t any fancy name for it. The others guess all kinds of ridiculous things but finally give up.)

LAST BOY I knew you’d never guess this one! Dad is a BILL COLLECTOR!"

ALL: (in unison) A BILL COLLECTOR!

Name WHEN KNIGHTHOOD WAS IN FLOWER
Action (or, "Good Guys Always Wear White Hats")

CHARACTERS: LORELEI THE LOVELY, a beautiful princess KIT THE KING, a pip of a king GODFREY THE GOOD, almost too good to be true EDGAR THE EVIL, Almost too bad to be true EDGAR’S HENCHKNIGHTS, as many and as ferocious as you like

COSTUMES AND PROPS: Costumes should be traditional. A castle backdrop can be used. Spears for knights can be foil-covered yardsticks or cut from cardboard. An enormous white hat for the punch line.

SETTING: Since this is a melodrama, all actions should be highly exaggerated. Audience should be encouraged to ‘boo’ the villain and cheer the heroes loudly. Scene opens on Lorelei, who is sobbing her heart out in front of her father’s castle.

LORELEI: Oh woe, oh woe, oh woe is me! Edgar the Evil and his Henchknights have captured the castle and imprisoned my beloved father, King Kit of Kaboodle. And now Edward the Evil says he won’t release my beloved father unless I, Lorelei the Lovely, will marry him. Oh woe, oh woe. What a horrible fate. How I wish a Knight in shining armor would ride up and save me from my awful fate!

(Enter Godfrey the Good, tripping and falling over himself)

LORELEI: (Exclaiming in fright) Good night!

GODFREY: (Look up, proudly) That’s me!

LORELEI: Who are you?

GODFREY: (Pulling himself together and standing up straight) I am Godfrey the Good, a knight in shining armor. I’m sorry, but I lost my white charger. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. But who are you, fair lady?

LORELEI: I am Lorelei, the Lovely, princess of this fair land.

GODFREY: Well then, let’s go inside the castle. It’s cold out here!

LORELEI: (Beginning to wail) We can’t... (sobbing) Edgar the Evil has captured the castle and imprisoned by dear, dear father, the kind, kind king, in the deep, deep, dark, dark dungeon.

GODFREY: Oh you poor, poor girl. (Consoles her) Godfrey the Good will help you.(Brandishes spear in air, dramatically) will engage the wicked, wicked knight in a fierce, fierce battle and release the dear, dear king who is in the deep, deep, dark, dark dungeon. (Accidentally stabs himself) Oh, ouch, ouch.

LORELEI:. Oh, but Edgar the Evil is so so terrible. He has many, many men. And he says he will not release the king unless I agree to marry him.

GODFREY: Fear not, fair princess. Godfrey the Good is here! If only I could figure out why I have not been myself lately. Something is wrong. Well, I cannot let evil triumph over good, simply because of my weakness. Then I wouldn’t be Godfrey the Good! Everyone would call me Godfrey the Gutless. (summoning up his courage) Come out, come out, wherever you are!

(Enter Edgar and Henchknights)

EDGAR: (Snarling fiercely) Who calls? Who calls Edgar the Evil and his Henchknights?

GODFREY: (Trembling at the sight of Edgar and Henchknights) Oh.. you came!

EDGAR: Who are you, you rattling tin can? (clanking is heard from offstage)

GODFREY: (Still shaking) I am Godfrey the Good!! Can’t you tell? I am a knight in shining armor.

EDGAR: (Scoffing) Shaking armor is more like it. Take this knight in shaking armor away, men. (Henchknights drag protesting Godfrey away.) Now, (turning to Lorelei) fair, fair lady, what is your final, final decision? Remember, your kind, kind father in the deep, deep, dark, dark dungeon!

LORELEI: (Sobbing violently) Oh, woe, woe, is me, me!

(Suddenly Godfrey sneaks up behind Edgar, bops him over head. Edgar lays sprawled on ground)

LORELEI: (Throwing arms around Godfrey) My hero! My hero! (King Kit enters) Father, Father! But Godfrey, how did you do it? What happened? Where did you get the nerve?

GODFREY: (Virtuously) I had forgotten one thing. Good always triumphs over evil. But in order for this to happen, you’ve got to recognize Good and ... The Good Guys Always Wear White Hats! (Puts on enormous white hat)

Name Whistler Precision Drill Team
Action Acquire an album such as Mitch Miller's choir whistling the theme song to "Bridge Over the River Kwai", the "Colonel Bogey March", or one of Sousa's marches. Use as many guys as you would like to involve. Each boy provides a shirt and tie, a jacket and slacks, and a pair of gloves. Stuff the arms of the jacket and attach the gloves to the arms. Arrange the shirt, jacket and tie around the hips. A face is painted on the boy's naked chest and stomach. A hat is made where the brim is three feet in diameter with a hole that will fit over the shoulders. The bowl of the hat can be made out of some cheap cloth, large enough so that a guy can hold his hands over his head and yet have the brim of the hat come just below his shoulders. The brim can be made out of cardboard. The overall effect is that of some very short guys with very big heads. They march around the stage like a precision team to one of the above tunes, acting as if they're whistling by sucking their stomachs in and out. If desired, the shirt, tie, and pants can also be easily substituted with a scout shirt, neckerchief and pants. The hat can be made to resemble a scout hat.
Name Who Sneezed
Action One boy plays sergeant and the rest line up in a row facing the audience. The sergeant tells them to come to attention for inspection. The last boy in line sneezes. The sergeant asks who sneezed and doesn't get an answer. He asks the man who sneezed to step forward in a threatening and commanding tone. The sergeant asks the first boy if he sneezed and he denies it. The sergeant shoots him. The next boy in line is asked if he sneezed and he replies, "Not since I was 10 years old." The sergeant shoots him. Each boy has a different answer as to why he didn't sneeze and the sergeant shoots each one until the last boy is reached. This boy really worried and shaking, admits that he sneezed but pleads to the sergeant not to shoot him. The sergeant says that he isn't going to shoot him but just wanted to say GESUNDHEIT !
Name Why Are You Late?
Action Known as "Mounted Scouts" in the Leader Magazine.

Once modified this to fit a space theme. You got it -- no changes to the plot or the joke, just to a few details like a space ship, a 6-legged Aldabian glop, and a rented air coaster which all broke down.

Cast: Boss, 4 Workers

Setting: Office

Boss: Why are you late?

#1: (Rushing into work, breathless.) Sorry I'm late, Boss. My car broke down, so I took the bus. But the driver hit a tree, so I had to take a cab. And it broke down, too. Fortunately, I was near a Caläche so I borrowed the horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed. I had to jog the rest of the way!

#2 3 come in late with exactly the same excuse. The boss becomes a little bit more exasperated each time, until #4 finally comes in, late of course.

Boss: Why are you late? No, wait. Let me guess. Your car broke down, so you took the bus. But the bus driver hit a tree, so you took a cab. And it broke down too. Fortunately, you were near a Caläche and so you borrowed the horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed, so you had to jog the rest of the way, right?

#4: No boss, you got it all wrong! The streets were so crowded with broken down cars, buses and cabs, trees, dead horses, and worst of all some crazy joggers that I couldn't get through!

Name Will you hold this box.
Action 2 chairs and a medium size box

Place chairs side by side as if there were a park bench. One scout in one of the chairs, all others off stage.

Scout sitting in the chair is approached by another scout carrying a box. Scout with box asks seated scout "will you hold this box for me". Seated scout says "yes", as other scout exits to other side of stage seated scout holds up box with a look as though the box has a leak. Scouts off stage enter on at a time and sit by seated scout and ask "what's in the box", not knowing he shrugs and says "I don't know". The scout without box the wipes the corner of the box with the leak tastes it and says "taste like the water at school", then he exits. Next scout enters and does the same except says taste like ?? (what ever they want ie. bug juice at scout camp). After all scouts have come across stage first scout with box comes back to get box, thanking holder, he holds up box looking at leak and proclaims, "bad puppy".

Name Worlds Greatest Pitcher
Action You need a screen (white sheet), Flashlight (bright) and a sick (size of a baseball bat).

The announcer introduces the worlds greatest pitcher, elaborate on how great he is. No one has hit him in the last 100 games, (at least with a ball) etc. Get volunteers (4). Have pitcher throw his pitches: (For fun give each volunteer a stick and rubber knife and instruct to make a baseball bat)

Announce each pitch in advance and watch pitcher throw, followed by light on the screen as the ball advances toward the batter.

1. Fast Ball - Light goes fast across sheet from the back side)

2. Slider- Light slopes down across sheet from back side)

3. Curve Ball - light goes crazy

Each volunteer only gets one pitch. Of Course since no ball is actually thrown, and they can't hit the light so they stand there looking foolish.

The final pitch, the Greatest Ever Spit Ball. Really ham it up. You announce the World's Greatest Spit Ball. As soon as the Pitcher throws the ball you scream, "Look Out Its Out of Control", followed by a bucket of water being thrown upon someone: Your choice, the announcer, pitcher, or batter!

If you are going to get the batter, let the pitcher throw each pitch and announce it as you see it on the screen. The final pitch of course is "Oh no its a spit ball!"

Name Yapoocha
Action A tribe of "Indians" are dancing around their fire, while the "Chief" sits cross legged to one side. After a while they all stop dancing, and one approaches the chief. "Oh great chief, is it time for Yapoocha?" The chief looks up at the stars and the moon, then shakes his head. "It is not yet time for Yapoocha". The dance continues for a while, then stops and someone else approaches the chief and asks the same question. Once again the chief looks at the stars and the moon and answers, "It is not yet time for Yapoocha". The dancing carries on again, then stops and yet another person approaches the chief. This time the chief looks at the stars and moon, pretends to think hard for a moment, then says, "Yes, now is the time for Yapoocha!" The "Indians" then make a line, and start dancing the "Hokey Pokey" - "Yapoocha left hand in, yapoocha left hand out..."
Name You Don't Say!
Action Person on the phone, Friend Setting: Living Room

Person: (Phone rings, picks it up.) Hello? Yes? You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say? ... You don't say! ... You don't say. Bye!

Friend: Say, who was on the phone?

Person: He didn't say!

Name You Need a Tie, Sir
Action Cast: Person, 3 Tie Salesmen, Maitre d'

Setting: Desert

Person: (Gasping) Water! I need water!

#1: Sir! Would you like to buy a tie? This one would look so good on you!

Person: I want water, not a tie!

#2: (After a pause) Sir! We're having a tie sale. Would you like to buy a nice tie for a great price?

Person: I'm dying of thirst, and you want to sell me a tie?

#3: (After a pause) Sir! I have these fine silk ties at reasonable prices. Would you care to look at my stock?

Person: Sheesh! What kind of people sell ties in the middle of the desert to thirsty people? (After a pause; looks to the distance) An oasis! I'm saved! (Scrambles over.) Sir! Please! I would like to buy a glass of water!

Maitre d': I'm sorry Sir, but you can't enter this restaurant without a tie.

Name You've Broken the Rules!
Action Mean Pirate Captain, 6 Pirates, Lifeguard Setting: Pirate Ship at Sea

Captain: Okay let's see the first o' you. Which rule did you break?

#1: I... I... I ran around in the dining hall when I should have been sitting down!

Captain: Walk the plank! And you?

#2: I pushed into the canteen line, Sir!

Captain: Walk the plank! And you?

#3: I wasn't quiet when the sign was up!

Captain: Walk the plank! And you?

#4: I was talking after bedtime!

Captain: Walk the plank! And you?

#5: I wasn't listening during badgework!

Captain: Walk the plank! And you?

#6: I was playing with the campfire!

Captain: Walk the plank!

Lifeguard comes out.

Lifeguard: Okay guys, BUDDY UP AND NO TALKING!

Name Yukon Winter
Action One day Scouter Kent ( camp chief ) and Scouter Jason ( assistant camp director ) decide to get away from it all and move to the Yukon. The story goes , they sell everything and pack up for a long trip to the Yukon by canoe (get in and row) finally arriving in a sheltered valley they decide that this is the place for them.

Kent: "nice place , lets build a log cabin"

Jason: Yeah.

So they build a cabin after all that work, they have a nice log cabin to survive the harsh weather of the north. Now fall is at the door.

Kent: "Winter is coming and we need to cut firewood"

Jason: "Yeah".

So they start cutting wood with ax and saw -- cut and saw and saw and cut 5 cords, 10 cords, 15 cords (neatly piled as good scouts know how).

Kent: "Hey Jason think we have enough for the winter?"

Jason: "Yeah, I don't know"

Kent ":I heard that there is an old Indian on top the mountain that can tell what winter is like here. Lets go and see him".

Jason: "Yeah, OK".

So they pack up and start the long trek to the top of the mountain, through the woods. (Demonstrate going through rivers, mud, climbing a cliff, rain, encountering bears, mountain lions, cats, chickens (wild variety demonstrate the trip). They finally arrive at the top of the mountain where they find an old Indian sitting on a rock.

Kent, going up to the Indian and says, "Oh Great One I was told that you can tell us how the winter will be. Please help us. We are from the south and we had warm winters and oil heaters!"

Jason: "Yeah"

The Indian gets up and goes to the edge of the mountain, looks around putting his hand to his brow looks straight in front of him and says, "Cold winter, long winter. He goes back to his rock.

Kent: "Thank you wise Indian"

Jason:" Yeah , thanks".

So they turn back to their cabin. (Demonstrate trek in reverse).

Kent: "I do not think that we have enough wood for the winter let's cut more."

Jason: "Yeah , yeah"

So for the next two weeks , they cut wood -- 20 more cords. Now they had 35 cords and the snow started falling in the valley and it was cold.

Kent: "Now we have 35 cords, this should be good for winter".

Jason: Yeah

Kent: "We should go and see the Indian to ask him how the winter will be."

Jason: "Yeah"

REPEAT THE TREK to find the Indian on his rock on the top of the mountain.

Kent: "Oh Great One how will the winter be?"

The Indian gets up goes to the edge of the mountain looks around puts both hands to his brow and says: "Cold winter , cold winter, long winter!"

Jason: "Oh yeah"

Kent: "Thank you Great One."

So back to camp they go. Snow is falling more and more now it is November. Again they cut wood , day and night now they have cut 25 more cords 60 cords in all.

Kent: "I think this should be plenty for the winter. But we should see the Indian to be safe."

Jason: "Yeah" (Jason should be getting a laugh by now)

So again they trek up the mountain for the third time. (Demonstrate trek again) All tired and sore from their encounters, finally, 5 days later, they got to top of the mountain where the old Indian covered with snow sitting on his rock as usual.

Kent: "Oh Great One , tell us one more time what will the winter be like?"

Jason: "Yeah."

Again the Indian gets up goes to the edge of the mountain and putting his hand to his brow and says: "Big winter , very big winter."

Kent: "Oh Great One tell me how you know this. Is it because of the mountains the animals? I want to learn how to read signs of nature".

Jason: "Yeah"

The Indian turning to Scouters Kent and Jason he says, "Easy I look down in the valley and from here, I can see two white men cutting and piling wood like crazy!"