JOKES

 This is a question and answer skit. Two sets of answers are given and should be used according to whether you wish the skit to be serious or silly. A Cub Scout can read each riddle and another Cub Scout may answer, or the audience can be asked to guess the answers. 

1. I can run fast. I have four legs. My fuel is oats. Last year a friend of mine won the Kentucky Derby. What am I? 

A. A horse. B. 2 oatmeal eating Cub Scouts who have horses for friends. 

2. I run on boy power. I run on the streets, never on sidewalks. I have 2 wheels. I have spokes and pedals. What am I? 

A. A bicycle. B. Two unicycles. 

3. I have 4 wheels. I usually have an air cooled rear engine. You can spot me on sight. I run on sand. What am I? 

A. A dune buggy. B. A Volkswagen that ran off the road in the desert. 

4. I have 2 wheels. I have a roll bar. My pedals are as high as the seat. I have a lot of chrome. What am I? 

A. Motorcycle. B. 2 "souped-up unicycles." 

5. I have a horn. I have two bright eyes. I have four wheels. I run on the street. What am I? 

A. A car. B. A unicorn on wheels on a highway. 

6. My horn goes "toot-toot". My engine goes "choo-choo." I don't always have the same number of parts. What am I? 

A. A train. B. A Cadillac with a problem. 

7. I fly through the air with the greatest of ease. I have a nose and 2 big wings. What am I? 

A. A plane. B. A trapeze artist with wings. 

8. Sometimes I am self-propelled. Sometimes you have to help me. I skim over the water, in various speeds. What am I? 

A. A boat. B. A beginning water-skier. 

9. I could go right through your ceiling if I could fit in your house. I'm going to the moon to find me some cheese. What am I? 

A. A rocket. B. A 2-ton hungry mouse.

 This is a question and answer skit for up to 9 Cubs. Two sets of answers are given and should be used according to whether you wish the skit to be serious or silly. A cub can read each riddle and another cub may answer, or the audience can be asked to guess the answer. 

QUES 1. I can run fast. I have four legs. My fuel is oats. Last year a friend of mine won the Kentucky Derby. What am I? 

Ans. A horse. Ans. 2 Oatmeal eating cubs who have a horse for a friend. 

QUES 2. I run on boy power. I run on the streets, never on sidewalks. I have two wheels. I have spokes and peddles. What am I? 

Ans. A bike. Ans. 2 Two unicycles. 

QUES 3. I have 2 wheels. I have a roll bar. My pedals are as high as the seat. I have a lot of chrome. What am I? 

Ans. A motorcycle. Ans. 2 "Souped-up" unicycles. 

QUES 4. I have 4 wheels. I usually have an air cooled rear engine. You can spot me on sight. I run on sand. What am I? 

Ans. A dune buggy. Ans. 2 A unique Volkswagen that ran off the road in the desert. 

QUES 5. I have a horn. I have two bright eyes. I have 4 wheels. I run on the street. What am I? 

Ans. A car. Ans. 2 A unicorn on wheels on a highway. 

QUES 6. My horn goes toot-toot. My engine goes Choo-Choo. I donít always have the same number of parts. What am I? 

Ans. A train. Ans. 2 A Cadillac with a problem. 

QUES 7. I fly through the air with the greatest of ease. I have a nose and 2 big wings. What am I? 

Ans. A plane. Ans. 2 A trapeze artist with wings. 

QUES 8. Sometimes I am self-propelled. Sometimes you have to help me. I skim over the water with various speeds. What am I? 

Ans. A boat. Ans. 2 A beginning water skier. 

QUES 9. I could go right through your ceiling if I could fit in your house. Iím going to the moon to find some cheese. What: am I? 

Ans. A rocket. Ans. 2 A hungry, two-ton mouse.

 The secret to success with this series of quickies is to keep them moving along. You can have one doctor and different patients, but it may add greater rush and flurry if a different doctor and patient fly in and out for each quickie. 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a set of drapes. Doc: Pull yourself together! 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Am I going to die? Doc: That's the last thing you'll do. 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me. Doc: Next! 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards! Doc: I'll deal with you later. 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me? Doc: Have you had this before? Pat: Yes. Doc: Well, you've got it again! 

Doc: You'll live to be 80. Pat: I am 80. Doc: See! 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I've got insomnia. Doc: Don't lose any sleep over it! 

Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My friend's doctor told him he had appendicitis and, two weeks later, my friend died of heart failure. Doc: Don't worry. If I tell you you've got appendicitis, you'll die from appendicitis! 

 These are a variation of the popular elephant jokes. They can be set up with two boys for each "joke". 

Cub 1: How can you tell if a buffalo is under your bedroll? Cub 2: The ceiling of your tent is very close. 

Cub 3: Did you know buffaloes are originally from Italy? Cub 4: You mean like in the song " Oh where is the home for the buffaloes - Rome! 

Cub 5: What do you find between the hooves of buffaloes? Cub 6: Slow buffalo hunters. 

Cub 7: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with a buffalo? Cub 8: You either get peanut butter that roams the range or a buffalo that sticks to the roof of your mouth. 

Cub 9: How can you tell a buffalo from a field mouse? Cub 10: Try to pick it up. If you can't, it's either a buffalo or a very overweight mouse. 

Cub 11: How can you tell a buffalo has been in the refrigerator? Cub 12: His hoofprints are in the jello. 

Cub 13: How can you tell when there are two buffaloes in your refrigerator? Cub 14: You can't shut the door.

Teacher: What has five fingers and can be made of leather? Johnny : Eh... I don't know. 

Teacher: One glove! Now, what has 10 fingers and can he made of leather? 

Johnny : Eh.... I don't know. 

Teacher: Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor General of Canada? Johnny : Eh.... Three gloves?

Boy 1: My brother is so dumb. 

Boy 2: How dumb is he? 

Boy 1: He got a pair of water skis for his birthday a month ago, and he is still looking for a lake with a hill in it.

Librarian: "Please be quiet, young man. The people near you can't even read."  

Scout: "Then what are they doing in a library?"